How do you satisfy your needs in a sexless relationship?

[LeeKee]

What do we do? Nothing. Or jerk of to memories or stupid porn. Then age. Then die a quiet death from a hollowed out life. Hope that selfish bitch feels worse. Basically that's it.

 

[Doughboy48]

With your wife's consent? Or behind her back?

Not judging, just asking. My marriage is sexless and open.

It would for sure not be with consent. My dick would get cut off if she knew. I don’t like it but I also have needs and he needs to get wet sometimes!

 

[HampshireBoy]

I spend a lot of time on Lit and have an active fantasy life.

I realise that I'm lucky in that ours is a very loving marriage, with lots of kisses and cuddles, just unfortunately she has lost all sexual desire. She enjoys seeing me walking around naked and will stroke me, but penetration isn't happening. As she feels guilty anout this she offered a couple of nights ago, its been a couple of months since the last time. She didn't want much foreplay, the trouble is that it was obvious that she wasn't enjoying it and, when I asked her, she told me that it was getting painful. So basically I stopped and pulled out there were a few tears and her apologising but what can you say but, don't worry it isn't your fault. I cuddled her until she went to sleep and then snuck off to the bathroom for relief.

 

[LMWM321]

I cuddled her until she went to sleep and then snuck off to the bathroom for relief.

It sounds like there's still lot's of love and affection in your relationship which is awesome. And perhaps that gives you an option that many people don't have.

Instead of sneaking off and masturbating by yourself in a bathroom... Why not involve her? ..Maybe come right out and tell her, "honey, I totally understand that penetration is painful and I would NEVER want sex to be uncomfortable. But I crave release and I crave involving you in some way. Can I masturbate as I lay beside you and study your beautiful bare body as I do it? Your body excites me and doing this will give me much of the joy I got from having sex with you... I don't want to jerk off alone, I want to do it next to you b/c you're my beautiful wife and I love you." See what she says.

These days, I solo-masturbate only a few times a month. ..But at least once a week I'll wait till we climb in bed and will tell my wife something like, "I know you're tired and we fooled around just yesterday, ..But I'm very horny for you - especially after watching seeing you walking around in your Yoga leggings all day. ...So can I jerk off as I lay next to you?"

She always smiles and says, "of course!" And maybe a 1/3 of the time she'll offer to let me cum on her tits or (more often) will lay a leg across mine to let me play with her feet as I do it (I'm crazy for my wife's feet - they look and feel like they belong to a 20 year old). Doing this feels sooo much more satisfying than jerking off alone. And my wife enjoys it too - she like's being my sexual muse.

 

[Greytruck]

It sounds like there's still lot's of love and affection in your relationship which is awesome. And perhaps that gives you an option that many people don't have.

Instead of sneaking off and masturbating by yourself in a bathroom... Why not involve her? ..Maybe come right out and tell her, "honey, I totally understand that penetration is painful and I would NEVER want sex to be uncomfortable. But I crave release and I crave involving you in some way. Can I masturbate as I lay beside you and study your beautiful bare body as I do it? Your body excites me and doing this will give me much of the joy I got from having sex with you... I don't want to jerk off alone, I want to do it next to you b/c you're my beautiful wife and I love you." See what she says.

These days, I solo-masturbate only a few times a month. ..But at least once a week I'll wait till we climb in bed and will tell my wife something like, "I know you're tired and we fooled around just yesterday, ..But I'm very horny for you - especially after watching seeing you walking around in your Yoga leggings all day. ...So can I jerk off as I lay next to you?"

She always smiles and says, "of course!" And maybe a 1/3 of the time she'll offer to let me cum on her tits or (more often) will lay a leg across mine to let me play with her feet as I do it (I'm crazy for my wife's feet - they look and feel like they belong to a 20 year old). Doing this feels sooo much more satisfying than jerking off alone. And my wife enjoys it too - she like's being my sexual inspiration.

Geez you had a great thing going.. I’m jealous of the openness you two have..
Mine is more sneaking around and unspoken things..
It’s a shame I know but some of us live like this

 

[LMWM321]

Geez you had a great thing going.. I’m jealous of the openness you two have..
Mine is more sneaking around and unspoken things..
It’s a shame I know but some of us live like this

Thanks.. But I think part of it is the openness of our time. These days, there is no shame (mostly) associated w/ masturbation. By now, nearly everyone has heard a sex expert reassure a woman (or man) that it's normal for people to masturbate and no one should be shamed for it. ..Compare that with older generations when a husband being caught masturbating was perceived as either a wife's failure to satisfy him or the man being deviant in some way. Both are fucking stupid.

So I appreciate the compliment but I give much of the credit to our more enlightenment times

The bottom line is people need to redefine sex as they get older. ..Just because penetration might not be in the in the equation, there's still lots of sexual intimacy a couple can engage in that feels very satisfying.

 

[Greytruck]

Thanks.. But I think part of it is the openness of our time. These days, there is no shame (mostly) associated w/ masturbation. By now, nearly everyone has heard a sex expert reassure a woman (or man) that it's normal for people to masturbate and no one should be shamed for it. ..Compare that with older generations when a husband being caught masturbating was perceived as either a wife's failure to satisfy him or the man being deviant in some way. Both are fucking stupid.

So I appreciate the compliment but I give much of the credit to our more enlightenment times

The bottom line is people need to redefine sex as they get older. ..Just because penetration might not be in the in the equation, there's still lots of sexual intimacy a couple can engage in that feels very satisfying.

Yeah I understand that.. my wife unable to take me inside her.
But we satisfy each other with fingers , toys, tounges…
Just not enough…

 

[HampshireBoy]

It sounds like there's still lot's of love and affection in your relationship which is awesome. And perhaps that gives you an option that many people don't have.

Instead of sneaking off and masturbating by yourself in a bathroom... Why not involve her? ..Maybe come right out and tell her, "honey, I totally understand that penetration is painful and I would NEVER want sex to be uncomfortable. But I crave release and I crave involving you in some way. Can I masturbate as I lay beside you and study your beautiful bare body as I do it? Your body excites me and doing this will give me much of the joy I got from having sex with you... I don't want to jerk off alone, I want to do it next to you b/c you're my beautiful wife and I love you." See what she says.

These days, I solo-masturbate only a few times a month. ..But at least once a week I'll wait till we climb in bed and will tell my wife something like, "I know you're tired and we fooled around just yesterday, ..But I'm very horny for you - especially after watching seeing you walking around in your Yoga leggings all day. ...So can I jerk off as I lay next to you?"

She always smiles and says, "of course!" And maybe a 1/3 of the time she'll offer to let me cum on her tits or (more often) will lay a leg across mine to let me play with her feet as I do it (I'm crazy for my wife's feet - they look and feel like they belong to a 20 year old). Doing this feels sooo much more satisfying than jerking off alone. And my wife enjoys it too - she like's being my sexual muse.

Thanks, I've tried that but unfortunately it upsets her more and adds to her guilt that she letting me down and not satisfying me. I suggested that she could masturbate me, or I could cum on her tits or bum - like she has encouraged me to do in the past - but guilt kicks in. She loves me spooning her, with my hard cock between her cheeks or just bare flesh pressed together, but anything more doesn't happen.

Though we're in a loving marriage in all other ways I'm jealous of your relationship with your wife in that aspect, lucky you.

 

[M_K_Babalon]

I'd seek it elsewhere.

 

[LMWM321]

Thanks, I've tried that but unfortunately it upsets her more and adds to her guilt that she letting me down and not satisfying me. I suggested that she could masturbate me, or I could cum on her tits or bum - like she has encouraged me to do in the past - but guilt kicks in. She loves me spooning her, with my hard cock between her cheeks or just bare flesh pressed together, but anything more doesn't happen.

Though we're in a loving marriage in all other ways I'm jealous of your relationship with your wife in that aspect, lucky you.

Then I'd suggest therapy for yourself. Every marriage has a desire discrepancy but yours sounds downright untenable.
As well as helping you cope, a therapist might be able to help you find ways to approach and frame a productive conversation with your wife. ..And while I ain't no therapist, I suspect they'll say "avoiding upsetting her or making her feel guilty" is NOT a good reason to avoid having such a conversation. Lord knows my wife and I have sat one another down hundreds of times and proceeded to upset the other. ..But I we often deserved it and it often led to a good outcome.

 

[MichelleSwan]

How do you satisfy your needs in a sexless relationship?
With other people in sexless relationships or upstanding singles

 

[old_hippy_46]

How do you satisfy your needs in a sexless relationship?

jack off, cheat or divorce.

 

[cacti35]

Of course you do! You’re extremely beautiful

She is definitely that. Gorgeous.

 

[Suxnbenzover]

Discovered I could seek out like minded men for sex and walk away with nothing but the feeling of satisfaction

 

[_Milky_Whites_]

Sneaky things. Risque texts. Toys. That is about it. After enough time you push it out of your mind most days. That or go a little nuts.

 

[thør]

Sneaky things. Risque texts. Toys. That is about it. After enough time you push it out of your mind most days. That or go a little nuts.

Always lovely to see you about.

 

[_Milky_Whites_]

Always lovely to see you about.

I try to make an appearance once a year. Or less. Glad to see you around!

 

[TomTeacher19]

Usually one lives unsatisfied.

Fantasies help

Lit helps

Occasional very discreet fun helps a lot when it makes it's rare appearance.

 

[ChrisOU812]

In a sexless marriage too. Been 10 years almost..
I masterbate a lot

I hear you , unlike you it's been 22 years.

 

[Surferdude1891]

I have started making plans and talking to a therapist and lawyers with out her knowing and because I have affairs to fill the needs

 

[whenagain]

I come on here.

 

[PMarky2]

Dream of the girl - and our babies...

 

[wellworn]

Tried the talk and tried a reputable counselor with no good results. Being reasonably fit and 71 with perhaps 10 or 20 more years to go, while the resentment continues to grow I have a sort of out of body experience watching the train wreck and wonder how it will end.

 

[FuckMyIndianMom]

Seeing my parents..i think mom has started flashing people 'accidentally '

 

[Greytruck]

I hear you , unlike you it's been 22 years.

Long time brother