Sex & Shenanigans

[MindYaBitness]

Important question, pervs: Sex or chocolate?

https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExMTdnM3h3b292djgxYm9mem1qcG0xdTIwZzJta3J1a215MWtxN2R6cCZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/3o85xIO33l7RlmLR4I/giphy.gif

 

[MindYaBitness]

Um, are you talking about the gummies or the Fleshlight? Because if the latter, masturbation may not be right for you.

And you should probably get your blood pressure checked, too

 

[MindYaBitness]

There's room for both. But if you need a real answer? Sex.

I just had sex, and right after ate a fudgesicle. I can multi task

 

[SCNurseMan61]

Guys … what is your favourite day to fuck?

Everyday

 

[UnquietDreams]

And you should probably get your blood pressure checked, too

Please check with your physician before commencing masturbation. Do not masturbate if you are allergic to masturbation or any of its component parts or actions. WARNING: there is a possible risk of addiction to masturbation. Please do not masturbate during outbreaks, special events or gatherings, and natural disasters. There is an increased risk of tendinitis and/or tendon rupture. Do not continue masturbating during such an event.

 

[AlwaysDancing]

I just had sex, and right after ate a fudgesicle. I can multi task

That’s … not multi tasking.

That’s taking turns.

But … well allow it

 

[UnquietDreams]

I just had sex, and right after ate a fudgesicle. I can multi task

And by that you mean a frozen chocolate-flavored confection on a stick and not...anything else, right?

https://media2.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExcTl6dm50b284dmlqdHczeW81NDVoeXFwODFwYjgwaTJ6eTN5d3g2MiZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/PGcXQ2jkpd7KFhJg3k/giphy.gif

 

[MindYaBitness]

Please check with your physician before commencing masturbation. Do not masturbate if you are allergic to masturbation or any of its component parts or actions. WARNING: there is a possible risk of addiction to masturbation. Please do not masturbate during outbreaks, special events or gatherings, and natural disasters. There is an increased risk of tendinitis and/or tendon rupture. Do not continue masturbating during such an event.

You forgot to add that you should not operate heavy machinery or motor vehicle while masterbating

 

[UnquietDreams]

You forgot to add that you should not operate heavy machinery or motor vehicle while masterbating

I'll get Legal on that right away.

 

[AlwaysDancing]

I'll get Legal on that right away.

Take your time. It’s not a problem until it’s a problem.

And really the issue is when you’re masturbating while sexting while operating heavy machinery.

So, just don’t do that.

 

[Kitty_so_frisky]

Ma’am, we don’t kink shame here…unless your kink is vajankles.

FIFY!

Also…

https://twitter.com/x/status/1888778636901351475

 

[MrMakersMark]

You forgot to add that you should not operate heavy machinery or motor vehicle while masterbating

Umm.. Excuse me, HR lady?
I can't actually masturbate without operating something heavy.

So can I get a waiver or something?

 

[Bry1313]

Also men…. RHYTHM IS KEY!!!


just sayin.


(And women too)

https://media1.tenor.com/m/ovooRfVrgFIAAAAC/metronome.gif

 

[Bry1313]

Speaking of torture … what could someone do to you … that you would consider torture?


(Like not traditional torture)



For me… it’s tickling.

Tickling or play a Trump speech on a loop

 

[UnquietDreams]

Also men…. RHYTHM IS KEY!!!


just sayin.


(And women too)

But not the rhythm method. Or, more acutely, "parenthood."

 

[Deleted member 6592667]

You forgot to add that you should not operate heavy machinery or motor vehicle while masterbating

Unless you're fucking the machinery. Ya know, multitasking.

 

[Bry1313]

There ought to be!!! We're out here. We're lonely and underappreciated. Fishing for attention. Dying for the sweet, sweet caress of a woman

Future business partnership?

 

[UnquietDreams]

Unless you're fucking the machinery. Ya know, multitasking.

Which goes back to the sex toy discussion.

 

[AlwaysDancing]

Which goes back to the sex toy discussion.

Oh good

I worried I missed it.

 

[Bry1313]

Important question, pervs: Sex or chocolate?

https://media1.tenor.com/m/EstKpPVveyYAAAAC/both-agree.gif

 

[UnquietDreams]

Important question, pervs: Sex or chocolate?

Concurrently, consecutively, or in combination?

 

[Bry1313]

Everyday

We’ve been waiting almost 20 months for an answer to that question and you delivered. Thank you for your service.

https://media1.tenor.com/m/mth8ADnMLEMAAAAC/rimshot-pun.gif

 

[AlwaysDancing]

We’ve been waiting almost 20 months for an answer to that question and you delivered. Thank you for your service.

https://media1.tenor.com/m/mth8ADnMLEMAAAAC/rimshot-pun.gif

Is that like waiting for the Chiefs to do something, yesterday?

 

[Bry1313]

Is that like waiting for the Chiefs to do something, yesterday?

They did plenty yesterday, all of it bad, and I’d still have traded places with their fans in a heartbeat

 

[Deleted member 6592667]

Speaking of torture … what could someone do to you … that you would consider torture?


(Like not traditional torture)



For me… it’s tickling.

Make me listen to bros explain to me, a writer and artist, how great AI is. "It does the writing and art for you!" That will get me to jump off a roof.