How many dirty fantasies have you revealed in your relationship(s)?

[EoghanDubhara]

Sadly, none. The guys I've dated have been pretty vanilla, and I don't know how to bring up that I'm so kinky.

 

[9to5]

Sadly, none. The guys I've dated have been pretty vanilla, and I don't know how to bring up that I'm so kinky.

after reading some of your stories I do hope you get to act them out sometime, very exciting read

 

[sandybrooke]

My wife knows of ALL my fucked up fantasies. She has quite a few herself!

 

[cdstefi]

My wife's heard all mine. But then we did meet on fetlife so she was already aware I was a crossdresser and loved wearing lingerie.

Because she likes to reads gay erotica, our latest game is I'll talk man sex to her while she's masturbating, describing taking a large hard cock up my ass and riding it till his cum erupts inside my rectum, or being a bukkake toy for a queue of men lining up to ejaculate on my bra and panties; that kind of thing does actually turn her on a lot.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

I hid this side of me from my ex-husband. We had been together since high school and grew differently. He is very vanilla and, over time, I learned that I am not so vanilla (although I find some vanilla from time to time to be delicious). I didn’t know I had these interests until we had been together more than a decade and I tried to bring them up and he flipped out. I learned very quickly he didn’t want to talk about sex at all, but especially not any level of kink.

I explored here. Made friends here. Made more than friends here… About 7 years ago when I got together with the guy I’m still with, I brought up BDSM during the first conversation we had about sex. To say he lit up was an understatement. Turns out we had this in common, hallelujah. It’s pretty amazing to not have to hide it. We are fortunate that our kinks mostly line up, too. And, if I start a conversation about sex and sexual fantasies, he smirks and his eyes twinkle and he will stop whatever he was doing to be fully in this conversation. Very different than what I experienced with my ex, and it’s wonderful.

 

[EoghanDubhara]

after reading some of your stories I do hope you get to act them out sometime, very exciting read

Aw, thank you! Those are obviously some of my fantasies. A lot of them would be difficult to play out in real life, but I'd love to find a partner who would enjoy more than a plain vanilla sex life. One day!

 

[pumperguy191]

I told my wife about 1 particular fantasy a few years ago and totally regret it. She made fun of me and told several others. I was quite embarrassed

 

[Dreamer110]

I told my wife about 1 particular fantasy a few years ago and totally regret it. She made fun of me and told several others. I was quite embarrassed

Ah c'mon. Now you just gotta tell us.

 

[seela]

And how much is exactly left that you keep hidden away? Do you think D/s leads to more openness and honesty, or is that just delusional hubris? Do submissives or dominants worry less about scaring their partner away compared to vanilla couples?

I don’t believe that D/s leads to more openness and honesty. It’s a pretty goal to strive for in any relationship, I suppose, but it needs work and effort and isn’t something that just happens simply because people get off on power imbalance. People are people, relationships are relationships. Just because they’re D or s it doesn’t make them magical or automatically any better at relationship skills.

As for my own fantasies, I have revealed most, but not all of them in my primary relationship, and some that I’ve revealed, I’ve only revealed partially without telling every little detail that gets me off.

I’ve never really stopped to think closer about why I haven’t shared all my fantasies, which is a little weird, so thanks for asking the question! I realized that with a couple of fantasies I’ve held back, because they’re later add-ons into my spank bank, and I can remember my partner making not super appreciative comments about those themes in the past, even if the topic has never really been discussed. I have other people in my life who know about these fantasies, though, or who have helped make them into reality.

It’s a little silly not to talk about these things with my primary partner, though. We’ve been together for close to 20 years now, the chances are that his thoughts on the topics have evolved one way or another. I’m not really even worried about grossing him out or scaring him off or anything, so really there’s no good reason not to share these. It’s time to have a discussion!

Another reason for not sharing is that I enjoy having something just for myself, too. They are mostly fantasies that I don’t want to make into reality or that cannot be made into reality and in a way I feel like if I try to verbalize the somewhat ephemeral thoughts, my words won’t do them justice and then the fantasy will break.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Another reason for not sharing is that I enjoy having something just for myself, too. They are mostly fantasies that I don’t want to make into reality or that cannot be made into reality and in a way I feel like if I try to verbalize the somewhat ephemeral thoughts, my words won’t do them justice and then the fantasy will break

I can very much relate.

 

[BiBunny]

There are definitely things I wish I could tell my Daddy. But I'm gonna be real with y'all: he's just not as kinky as I am. I knew it from the beginning, so I've made my bed. But the ex I could tell everything was a sociopath (which is why I could tell him anything). I wish there were some sort of happy medium, lol.

 

[BoredIndianaDad40]

Have revealed very few to the wife and she would be absolutely shocked

 

[van_delay]

Have revealed very few to the wife and she would be absolutely shocked

Same here

 

[Easypeter]

Sadly, none. The guys I've dated have been pretty vanilla, and I don't know how to bring up that I'm so kinky.

Only way to have a great relationship is to be honest and open from the beginning . You might be surprised at how your openness starts the ball rolling

 

[Purple_Fronds]

I hid this side of me from my ex-husband. We had been together since high school and grew differently. He is very vanilla and, over time, I learned that I am not so vanilla (although I find some vanilla from time to time to be delicious). I didn’t know I had these interests until we had been together more than a decade and I tried to bring them up and he flipped out. I learned very quickly he didn’t want to talk about sex at all, but especially not any level of kink.

I explored here. Made friends here. Made more than friends here… About 7 years ago when I got together with the guy I’m still with, I brought up BDSM during the first conversation we had about sex. To say he lit up was an understatement. Turns out we had this in common, hallelujah. It’s pretty amazing to not have to hide it. We are fortunate that our kinks mostly line up, too. And, if I start a conversation about sex and sexual fantasies, he smirks and his eyes twinkle and he will stop whatever he was doing to be fully in this conversation. Very different than what I experienced with my ex, and it’s wonderful.

That’s such a good story and yes Vanilla is pretty tasty too

 

[bichbo]

a lot, but it felt good

 

[Erosfan]

And how much is exactly left that you keep hidden away? Do you think D/s leads to more openness and honesty, or is that just delusional hubris? Do submissives or dominants worry less about scaring their partner away compared to vanilla couples?

I hid nothing from my wife. We had some amazing experiences over the years. She called me her slut and I loved being her slut. She knew she could do anything she wanted with me or to me, any time, anywhere. We were not into the cuckold thing. I just loved it when she took charge. I'm an exhibitionist with a strong leaning to CFNM. She used that to her advantage and my pleasure many times.

 

[Cardinal]

None, zero, never even considered it. Would not end well

 

[alwayshorny2020]

Have revealed the more vanilla ones but definitely not the less vanilla. Don't think it would end well
Happy for dm so I can explain what I would like for my wife

 

[Erosfan]

I am a widower and I have met a very special widow that I am seeing regularly. We have discussed a lot of my kinks and fantasies. It just dawned on me that she hasn't shared one fantasy or kink. I think it is time for us to have that discussion.

 

[emme8]

I knew some of what I wanted very early in my relationship with hubby.
I don't think I would have married him if he wasn't open to the stuff I did share. But there was a significant amount of kink I hadn't grown into yet, and he also.

I controlled when he orgasmed for a long time before it developed into chastity play.
And he talked my through his fantasy about me and other men before it really became "cuckold"

Be honest but go slowly. Share a fantasy, not a script.

And most importantly enjoy what you do have with your partner.
Even appreciate their cpap machine is a great white noise machine. And their farts as a way to warm up the bed.

 

[SomeBliss]

And how much is exactly left that you keep hidden away? Do you think D/s leads to more openness and honesty, or is that just delusional hubris? Do submissives or dominants worry less about scaring their partner away compared to vanilla couples?

I have never revealed my kinks to a lover...and hope that the next man I connect with will be open and able to take me...bercause I am an unusual girl...

 

[Fuckinghorny70]

She doesn't know all my kinks and fetishist. Just a few to keep it fresh and fun.

 

[Erosfan]

I have had most of my fantasies realized. I chat with people on Lit and talk about my fantasies very openly, I think.

I have had many of my fantasies realized as well. Talk with your lover. I've never met a mind reader.
The fantasies I have experienced have been better than my fantasies because we spent plenty of time talking and understanding. We have both been able to focus on outcomes, with great success.

 

[Erosfan]

None, I once revealed one to my wife and nearly got divorced
Not a great idea

My first wife, many years back, was pretty vanilla. I revealed my desire to be naked for her and a small group of her friends. I don't think CFNM had a name back then. She was totally repulsed and called me a pervert. We were never able to talk about it or get beyond it.