Why do you choose to be a sub?

[subdudeme13]

I saw that... My Domme loves and takes great care of me!...
Granted, She does make certain that I'm acutely aware of Her Power and Control over me, even from 600 miles away, as I was working "plugged" earlier, as per Her instructions. I truly am blessed!

There are some remote control devices she could plug into you, no? That would be fun out on the rig. You are working on some critical part and the plug in your ass starts to buzz, or better yet, gives you a a jolt!

 

[Boat1]

There are some remote control devices she could plug into you, no? That would be fun out on the rig. You are working on some critical part and the plug in your ass starts to buzz, or better yet, gives you a a jolt!

We named that one "The Reacher." Lol

 

[subdudeme13]

You love it! I still think a cock cage with a shocker would be great! Forget the barbed wire.

 

[Boat1]

You love it! I still think a cock cage with a shocker would be great! Forget the barbed wire.

I've got some E-Stim items to try out... Those may end up finding a new, Sadistic layer of my Domme.

 

[ChasBozwell30]

I enjoy being submissive a lot, but as a man you don't get many opportunities. I've had rare chances to play with women (being pegged and dominated), it's always led to the most intense pleasure. I've only had multiple orgasms through sub play, there's nothing like it. Each time I experience it, I only wish I could play more, but it happens so rarely!

 

[BlazonG]

I’m a ‘pain slut’ and degradee as a guy for my wife sometimes. I think I have a fear of being overpowered and embarrassed by a woman for real and it became a kink?

 

[subbyclarajane]

I have been talking to my college friend and fuck-buddy who came to visit to cheer me up. She has some dom tendencies, whereas I lean the other way.

For me, I think part of being submissive in a sexual context is because I am the opposite IRL. I’m probably the person who wants to be in charge and to have a plan. She is the opposite, IRL she wouldn’t say boo to a goose, but gets off on controlling people sexually.

It it like this with other people?

Em

I sub to serve. I domme to serve. Some would call this a switch, but it's not for me. I get off on providing pleasure, and if that means giving my partner a break from the mental load and creativity of performing the domme, I'll get real fucking creative. The only thing that's difficult for me is being a brat. Unless I'm in the domme role, which is my most practiced by a long shot, I'm just sweet and adoring and gentle. And oh fuck do I like it when I'm roughed up. I've never gotten marks as a domme, but I've got scars from subbing and they are more dear to me than any of my tattoos. IRL, I'm the same. A leader when no one else steps up but always a servant at heart, nurturing and taking care of my loved ones.

 

[subdudeme13]

I’m a ‘pain slut’ and degradee as a guy for my wife sometimes. I think I have a fear of being overpowered and embarrassed by a woman for real and it became a kink?

Sounds good to me, you are lucky to have a wife that picked up on it.

 

[Astrotrain]

I didn't choose it, it chose me. No man in his right mind would choose to be submissive, life would be so much easier as an alpha male.

 

[ChasBozwell30]

I think as a sub you develop certain triggers over time, things that just flick a switch in your mind. I love being bossed around and called names. I recently found being spat on to be a huge turn on. When she spat in my face I got so unbelievably hard, I begged her for more. It shocked and delighted me, how sexy and exciting it felt. It's odd, how her "disgust" or "disdain" made me feel so happy...!

 

[MiaBabe23]

I think I get where he's coming from...

Your happiness/pleasure is more important to him than his happiness/pleasure/comfort?

Or his fulfillment is derived from being the one who serves you/ makes you happy/ your life easier?

That’s how it feels when I do that, yes. Almost as if His pleasure, joy, happiness is all I want

 

[Angiewantsmore]

Sounds as if some are born to be submissive, others have lessons and I am in the latter category. I chose to be submissive because it created opportunities to become randy enough to be multi-orgasmic again and now it helps hubby to get good and hard. Me being submissive to hubby and following his rather embarrassing and humiliating rules improves our sex life enormously. I also love the way it keeps me aware of how much I enjoy sex and that I am still a desirable woman, trust me, out and about with no bra and panties on under my dress I pay far more attention to if people are watching me and it makes me wonder if they realise and if so what they are thinking.

 

[varv]

Sounds as if some are born to be submissive, others have lessons and I am in the latter category. I chose to be submissive because it created opportunities to become randy enough to be multi-orgasmic again and now it helps hubby to get good and hard. Me being submissive to hubby and following his rather embarrassing and humiliating rules improves our sex life enormously. I also love the way it keeps me aware of how much I enjoy sex and that I am still a desirable woman, trust me, out and about with no bra and panties on under my dress I pay far more attention to if people are watching me and it makes me wonder if they realise and if so what they are thinking.

everything is acceptable, which helps to live actively. I understand you. But will you be able to if someone else besides your husband takes care of you? And if you just don't feel like having sex? This is a rhetorical question. more For self - knowledge .

 

[Angiewantsmore]

everything is acceptable, which helps to live actively. I understand you. But will you be able to if someone else besides your husband takes care of you? And if you just don't feel like having sex? This is a rhetorical question. more For self - knowledge .

If everything felt right I could submit to someone else but with hubby there was no need to build trust and things could and can proceed quite rapidly. As to simply not feeling like sex, we will have to cross that bridge when we come to it but at present if hubby wants me I give myself to him gladly. I take great pleasure in his pleasure, I enjoy him huffing, puffing and grunting his way to orgasm, feeling his body bump against mine as he takes me. I'm not the greatest fan of doggy but I know how much of a thrill hubby gets looking down watching his hard cock sliding back and forth in me so we do that a lot. For what we share I could not be a part-time submissive, I accept that and anyway, so far, hubby has kept me sufficiently randy for it not to have been an issue

If I am not well or either of our children visit hubby backs off without being asked to, I still have to follow the rules but it all goes very low key. For example if one of our children is visiting he will tell me to dress as soon as I rise. We have house rules and I have to follow them but hubby uses the rules sensibly.

The short reply is that we take great care not put ourselves in a position where we need to have to answer your questions.​

 

[Strixaluco]

Can a person b dominant but yet submissive as well? [... ] Mayb im a subdom. Substitute for Dom??? Lmao... Open to discussion. Anyone with more experience mind shedding some light to this???

It's called a "switch".

Some switches lean more to submitting, some to dominating. It may vary according to the gender of the partner, or individual, or your life situation or whatever. I've also heard of couples where both are switches and they switch even in the middle of the session, or there can be power struggles at times.
Basically whatever combination seems to be possible.

 

[EdgySubMic]

I've also heard of couples where both are switches and they switch even in the middle of the session, or there can be power struggles at times.

I'm no switch, but I sure can see the fun in a genuine (mutually consented) power struggle session.

 

[Strixaluco]

I'm no switch, but I sure can see the fun in a genuine (mutually consented) power struggle session.

Apparently it can also be a bit silly, as both can also have triggers turning then submissive..

Edit. Especially of at least one is bratty when submissive...

 

[EdgySubMic]

Apparently it can also be a bit silly, as both can also have triggers turning then submissive..

Edit. Especially of at least one is bratty when submissive...

Good point. But I guess that if both parties are serious about things (and don't actually want the silliness), a few up front rules of engagement could resolve that.

 

[Strixaluco]

Good point. But I guess that if both parties are serious about things (and don't actually want the silliness), a few up front rules of engagement could resolve that.

Could... I guess many of those couples just enjoy spontaneity.
And limiting things like bratting may be something people don't want, even if it may trigger things.

 

[SfMM]

I just want to serve and please me gf. Honestly the idea of her using me just excites me and even fills me with pleasure whenever she lets me worship her feet, and I really want her to just take things further!

 

[Dirtygirlndeer]

Sorry to hear that. I hope you find someone who would enjoy that relationship on a regular basis.

I enjoy being submissive a lot, but as a man you don't get many opportunities. I've had rare chances to play with women (being pegged and dominated), it's always led to the most intense pleasure. I've only had multiple orgasms through sub play, there's nothing like it. Each time I experience it, I only wish I could play more, but it happens so rarely!

 

[ChasBozwell30]

Sorry to hear that. I hope you find someone who would enjoy that relationship on a regular basis.

Thanks, that would be the dream, to explore everything more freely and fully. Not always easy to meet people though.

 

[Dirtygirlndeer]

He loves being my sub, and he’s perfect! Cleaning toilets in the nude while wearing my apron.

 

[Goldenfinger]

Is it a choice?

 

[MiaBabe23]

I agree with what others have said, it’s not a choice, at least the desire to isn’t. It allows you to be vulnerable in a way that I can’t think of an equivalent to, and to express a great deal of affection, passion, love for the person you submit to
But emotionally it is a very vulnerable position you place yourself in, so perhaps it also builds strength in a paradoxical kind of way