Write an orgasm. Include word count and style.

[MargotPayge]

I find writing orgasms challenging. How much is too much? How little is too little? When I describe someone else’s orgasm, how do I even know if they feel it the same way that I do? Even my own orgasms feel different according to the type of stimulation and how long the build up was.
When does a scene become so bad, it’s good? Sometimes those are my favorites.

Here is a 69 word male orgasm. I wrote it specifically for this post, so there is no context other than it is in a romantic flowery mode and I am not sure how I feel about it. Does it ring true for a man? How close is it? I know it’s not one of my best. But on the other hand, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like it, because I grew up reading stuff like this.

“His passion reached its peak and his seed spilled forth in abundance like the first honeyed drops of spring. It reverberated through his loins and shook the very gates of his soul. He felt the feathery grips of her sheath as it contracted around his manhood. And as he came down, there was a stillness in knowing that he had possessed her and marked her as his very own.”

Comments welcome.

 

[SoCalAshley]

You are right, in saying orgasms are very personal, and all are very different. I mostly write in the first person, so the orgasms I write are very similar to the ones I had. This is a 100-word female orgasm I wrote for this post.

I brought my hand to my breast, pinching my nipple between my thumb and forefinger. That was the last stimulus I needed. I began to shake. The combination of his manipulation of my clit and the sensation from my nipples made me cry out as my first orgasm erupted inside me. But I was not finished. I lifted and lowered my hips. I did not know what came over me. My breasts swung back and forth in rhythm as my body and head rolled on the bed. One orgasm flowed into another until I could no longer stand it.

 

[SeraphNocturne]

I find writing orgasms challenging. How much is too much? How little is too little? When I describe someone else’s orgasm, how do I even know if they feel it the same way that I do? Even my own orgasms feel different according to the type of stimulation and how long the build up was.
When does a scene become so bad, it’s good? Sometimes those are my favorites.

Here is a 69 word male orgasm. I wrote it specifically for this post, so there is no context other than it is in a romantic flowery mode and I am not sure how I feel about it. Does it ring true for a man? How close is it? I know it’s not one of my best. But on the other hand, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like it, because I grew up reading stuff like this.

“His passion reached its peak and his seed spilled forth in abundance like the first honeyed drops of spring. It reverberated through his loins and shook the very gates of his soul. He felt the feathery grips of her sheath as it contracted around his manhood. And as he came down, there was a stillness in knowing that he had possessed her and marked her as his very own.”

Comments welcome.

My favorite sort of erotic orgasm depiction is that which flows like poetry... you've succeeded that very well, using tasteful adverbs and epithets. Kudos to you!

 

[ElectricBlue]

One hundred words, thereabouts

I felt her body tremble. I disengaged one hand from hers and wetted my fingers in my mouth. I slowly eased two fingers into her, found that rough place, and beckoned her to me, my mouth slow and steady on her clitoris.

I quietly took Helen up into the sky, left her floating, heard her sighs; then with a firmer pressure, took her there. She came around me, her pussy hot in my mouth, her hands holding my head hard against her. I breathed her in, cupping her hot place with my open mouth, slow movements of my tongue to calm her.

"Oh god," she said, from a long way away. "I wonder if I can do that again?"

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

One of my better orgasms from the end of my story “Pent-up”:

I jerked and thrashed, tossing my wet hair, screaming into the rain, bare feet scrabbling on the slippery dock. And then I felt him stiffen and start to pump. I was still cumming, but he was cumming too, pumping his hot load deep inside me. His whole body taut. The warm gush. Unloading and filling me. Filling me all the way up. Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck.


68 words. I tend to use a lot of sound effects like “unh … unh … unh” instead of trying to describe the hydraulics or the sensations. When the narrator of “Pent-up”starts to cum right before her partner does, that’s how I handle it.

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

“Write an orgasm.”

Every word counts so I’ll omit my long, slow climb up the ladder of arousal. Just know that I’m perched on the top rung now, teetering right at the edge of cumming. My clit is so hard I can barely stand to touch it.

But I also can’t stop. Oh god.

I can’t stop touching my tits either. Pinching my nipples sends convulsive jolts to my pussy. My pelvis is a bowl of warm syrup, filled to overflowing. I raise my ass to meet the onrushing wave. Empty head. No words. Nothing but a throbbing cunt. Oh!

100 words exactly.

 

[MargotPayge]

Does size matter? This one is 200 words. This one is going into my next story, so comments welcome.
I wanted to finish the scene with him saying something smartassed, but when I got to the end I totally drew a blank. [edit: I'll put the smartassery in later as the context develops. I only include this because as sweet as this ending is, I think it will be more endearing if it ends with something funny and that somehow encapsulates their relationship or state of emotion.]

As his tongue continued its sweet expedition into her tender folds, the hurricane rose within her. The first tingles in her feet surged upwards to her cunt where it exploded outwards in powerful gusts, each spasm more intense than the last.
“Oh God!”
Was that her screaming?
His tongue feverishly worked her clit; little rivulets of her arousal trickled down his chin.
“That is so Goddamn fucking good!”
She stepped outside herself for a moment. There, in that place of serenity, she observed the quivering heap of carnal desire glued to his tongue. She basked in his devotion and love, subsumed in a kind of inner peace-- the eye of the hurricane. The silence slowly grew oppressive until she returned to her body again. A cyclone of spasms wracked her freckled body; winds battered her nerves, too intense to bear, too pleasurable to stop. But finally the last ripples ebbed and his tongue ceased its torture; he rested his head lightly on her pussy. He knew her so well. She loved him to nuzzle and press his cheeks to her inflamed womanhood. The masculine pressure brought her back to stability. She smiled down at him.
Looking up, he smiled back

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

I had to try one from the male perspective. Exactly 100 words. If you’re a guy, I’m really curious if this sounds accurate.



“It’s okay if you cum inside me.”

I can’t believe we’re doing it bareback. Her unprotected pussy feels so warm and wet against my naked cock.

I want to take it slow, to make it last, but it feels too good and I can’t hold back. I need to thrust. I need to get as deep inside her as possible.

I rise up on my toes and fall into the rhythm, start really plowing her. It won’t be long now.

I unload in a rush, pumping, howling. I feel every throb, every spurt.

“Take it,” I growl. “Take it all.”

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

Does size matter? This one is 200 words. This one is going into my next story, so comments welcome.
I wanted to finish the scene with him saying something smartassed, but when I got to the end I totally drew a blank. [edit: I'll put the smartassery in later as the context develops. I only include this because as sweet as this ending is, I think it will be more endearing if it ends with something funny and that somehow encapsulates their relationship or state of emotion.]

As his tongue continued its sweet expedition into her tender folds, the hurricane rose within her. The first tingles in her feet surged upwards to her cunt where it exploded outwards in powerful gusts, each spasm more intense than the last.
“Oh God!”
Was that her screaming?
His tongue feverishly worked her clit; little rivulets of her arousal trickled down his chin.
“That is so Goddamn fucking good!”
She stepped outside herself for a moment. There, in that place of serenity, she observed the quivering heap of carnal desire glued to his tongue. She basked in his devotion and love, subsumed in a kind of inner peace-- the eye of the hurricane. The silence slowly grew oppressive until she returned to her body again. A cyclone of spasms wracked her freckled body; winds battered her nerves, too intense to bear, too pleasurable to stop. But finally the last ripples ebbed and his tongue ceased its torture; he rested his head lightly on her pussy. He knew her so well. She loved him to nuzzle and press his cheeks to her inflamed womanhood. The masculine pressure brought her back to stability. She smiled down at him.
Looking up, he smiled back

I found 100 words to be really limiting. I think both of mine would be hotter with a little more room to breathe — maybe clocking in at 130-150.

 

[visioneer]

I had to try one from the male perspective. Exactly 100 words. If you’re a guy, I’m really curious if this sounds accurate.

...

I want to take it slow, to make it last, but it feels too good and I can’t hold back. I need to thrust. I need to get as deep inside her as possible.
...

This captures that moment. Well done.

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

This captures that moment. Well done.

Thanks. I've noticed that when guys get close to cumming there's a moment where they switch over to "automatic pilot".

It's cute to watch, and so different from girl orgasms. I sometimes have an out-of-body experience where my conscious mind temporarily shuts down, but it's not nearly as flamboyant as the out-of-control thrusting thing y'all do.

 

[SexyVita]

So, I've written both female and male orgasms in stories, and looking back at some of my writing, I tend to write orgasm pretty sparcely, most of the time, sometimes just a sentence or two. Most of my writing effort go into the buildup, and the orgasm itself is almost anticlimax. (Sorry about the unintentional pun.) This may have something to do with the fact that I'm not fond of using a lot of flowery, poetic langauge in general, and around orgasms specifically. My orgasms, in my stories anyway, are generally hot, hard, and raw.

 

[MargotPayge]

Mine will sometimes hang there a while, so I like to try to write that. But other times they just bubble up, feel good and are done.

My finger found my clit and rubbed, fast, but light. The tension built and built, focused right on that little button of flesh. Then the bliss, like a sneeze released. short powerful and oh so satisfying. I pulled my panties back up, still basking in the relief, washed my hands, stepped out of the ladies room and went back to work.

 

[Horny_rabbi]

You write so vividly about orgasms. It really is a revelation to me.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Thanks. I've noticed that when guys get close to cumming there's a moment where they switch over to "automatic pilot".

It's cute to watch, and so different from girl orgasms. I sometimes have an out-of-body experience where my conscious mind temporarily shuts down, but it's not nearly as flamboyant as the out-of-control thrusting thing y'all do.

There's a point where everything falls into a timeless stasis, a fraction of a moment before the inevitable. It becomes existential, will I surge over the cliff, won't I? The inevitable, unstoppable, always happens, that first great surge, then more, as if my balls are being dragged up my shaft, following that first expulsion.

There's a different release, rarer, more exquisite. It's a slower thing, and if the woman is going to come simultaneously, that's when it happens. The come builds as before, but the moment of release is like a dam breaking, and I "spill" my come into her.


And in the spirit of the challenge, that explanation is one hundred words .

 

[Biggalute]

100 words of pure romance

She was nearly there but she didn’t climax, I’ll have to build her up again but my tongue aches, I’ll use my nose for a bit, rest the old tongue.

My mind begins to wander. I could always find her clit, even as a young man, but we seemed to cum quicker in those days, hornier and eager to carry on and fuck in another position.

Her breathing changes. I nibble with my teeth, flick with my tongue. Her thighs tighten around my ears, I dig my fingernails into her ass, she gushes, I have a crick in my neck.

 

[Pureotica]

This is a snippet from a weird experimental piece. It's longish at 349 words. I would change some things if I wrote it today, but I'm mostly proud of it. It's out of context. It was tough to decide where the o-scene started and the build up ended because the whole fantasy was stream-of-consciousness-ish. It has a few "why did I put that in there? lines that I would cut if I edited it. Honestly, for this one I just went for fragmented imagery. In first Person, I'd take a somewhat different approach. Every character is different, and I think an o-scene should reflect the character. I have fun writing them. For the most part, the approach is to come up with an evocative metaphor and beat it to death with a rock. I don't really care if they're true to life, but I aim for authenticity to the character. I want them to serve the story. I also suspect my few readers are mostly male, but I have no demographic information on the subject. For context, it's the wild masturbation fantasy of a virgin. It's over the top on purpose. Its a one-off so I just had fun with it. The scene over all is hilarious to me because of the way it progresses. she goes from innocent girl to calling herself a slutty little cock-whore and what not. I played it for fun. Some parts of the story make me laugh when I read it. I'm glad I wrote it.

His cock.

His cock isn't here to nudge her over the precipice of her orgasm. Linah needs to come. She fucking needs to come, more than she needs her next, precious breath-of-life. More than she needs an A in physics. More than she needs her mama's approval. More than she needs a man. His cock.

Face down in her pillow, folded into a wedge of agony, Carolina writhes and shivers. She's touching herself—a two-handed torture of her quivering cunt.

Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.

No more teasing. She rubs her trembling pussy with one hand. Soft presses, and deep digs, and furious whorls. The swollen, tender flesh of her outer labia. The aching landscape of her needy cunt.

She wets the fingers of her other hand in her weeping gash.

So wet. So fucking wet.

Per Lit guidelines: You may post short snippets (less than 3 paragraphs or so) for discussion. (Mod)

 

[Milo_Grigsby]

I find writing orgasms challenging. How much is too much? How little is too little? When I describe someone else’s orgasm, how do I even know if they feel it the same way that I do? Even my own orgasms feel different according to the type of stimulation and how long the build up was.
When does a scene become so bad, it’s good? Sometimes those are my favorites.

Here is a 69 word male orgasm. I wrote it specifically for this post, so there is no context other than it is in a romantic flowery mode and I am not sure how I feel about it. Does it ring true for a man? How close is it? I know it’s not one of my best. But on the other hand, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like it, because I grew up reading stuff like this.

“His passion reached its peak and his seed spilled forth in abundance like the first honeyed drops of spring. It reverberated through his loins and shook the very gates of his soul. He felt the feathery grips of her sheath as it contracted around his manhood. And as he came down, there was a stillness in knowing that he had possessed her and marked her as his very own.”

Comments welcome.

I was bound, helpless, teetering on the edge. The slightest change in pressure, pace, or angle and I would fall, gasping with the breathtaking rush of it all. She sensed it, knew the moment was near. The pressure slackened, pace slowed, angle increased … geometrically perfect balance that held me on the razor’s edged fulcrum. “Not yet.” she whispered. “Please ” I breathed. Her breath was warm on my neck. “Soon … together.” I felt her balance shift, hot wet pressure on me. We pitched over together and she rode me down as the wind of passion roared in our ears.

 

[Milo_Grigsby]

Thanks. I've noticed that when guys get close to cumming there's a moment where they switch over to "automatic pilot".

It's cute to watch, and so different from girl orgasms. I sometimes have an out-of-body experience where my conscious mind temporarily shuts down, but it's not nearly as flamboyant as the out-of-control thrusting thing y'all do.

Overstating the obvious here, but there may be no more beautiful sight than a woman in the throes of an orgasm. It's unfortunate that men are unable to provide the same visual experience for women. In my stories I can only describe how lovely a woman's climax is from a male perspective, and I would never have the audacity to attempt to describe it from the female view. But oh to be able to experience that ... just once. I would probably wax eloquent about it forever.

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

Overstating the obvious here, but there may be no more beautiful sight than a woman in the throes of an orgasm. It's unfortunate that men are unable to provide the same visual experience for women. In my stories I can only describe how lovely a woman's climax is from a male perspective, and I would never have the audacity to attempt to describe it from the female view. But oh to be able to experience that ... just once. I would probably wax eloquent about it forever.

Don’t sell yourself short. Ejaculation is amazing to watch. It’s like fireworks going off. Whenever I witness it, I’m like “Dude! How do you DO that??”

 

[filmmaker03]

I had to try one from the male perspective. Exactly 100 words. If you’re a guy, I’m really curious if this sounds accurate.

I suppose the experience of having an orgasm is (slightly) different for each person. Speaking for myself, each individual orgasm and the way it is reached, may feel a bit different as well. It is hard to put in words, but climaxes following a long, intense fucking session feel more ‘wholesome’ than reaching my peak after masturbating.

Generally, I think you did a good job describing an orgasm. Most guys (and girls) will be familiar with your wording.

 

[bumpercars]

Flowery or direct, I think there are a lot of good descriptions in this thread.

I tend to give a paragraph or two to orgasms because they're important and pretty, even if they don't take that much time. I try to keep the focus on what people are feeling, rather than what's happening. Here's a 174-word example from an upcoming story:

Rebecca could hardly pick out any details of her climax. Everything was bright and intense and demanded more attention than she had. She heard herself wailing, and felt the sweat on the guy's hands as he held her hips tight, and saw glimpses of his smile and the scarlet pillow, but it all blended together into a collage of unexpected and relentless pleasure. The only sensation she could be sure of was the waves of pleasure as her pussy squeezed the guy's cock, too exquisite for her to bear without breaking a little bit.

The guy caught her as she fell, holding her tightly as she cried out. Her cunt squeezed him tight, and he rose up to meet it, trying as best he could to keep the rhythm even as Rebecca collapsed into a sweaty mass of mewling and aftershocks. As forceful as Rebecca's motions had been, and as badly as she needed to be held, he was desperately close to his own climax and he didn't know how long he could wait.

 

[MargotPayge]

Most guys (and girls) will be familiar with your wording.

This brings up an interesting point. (To me anyway.)
How much of what we write needs to sound familiar enough? We want to be inventive and pleasantly surprise people, but how much? If you've had an orgasm, you know what it feels like. You probably know that there are different kinds. (Why I really want to give my boyfriend a hands-free prostate orgasm. ) What is it that we describe?

 

[filmmaker03]

This brings up an interesting point. (To me anyway.)
How much of what we write needs to sound familiar enough? We want to be inventive and pleasantly surprise people, but how much? If you've had an orgasm, you know what it feels like. You probably know that there are different kinds. (Why I really want to give my boyfriend a hands-free prostate orgasm. ) What is it that we describe?

I think stories have the most impact when the reader is able to familiarize themselves with the scene or situation described. Either as a witness or as someone undergoing the acts happening. Even if a reader has no experience with a certain act, a good writer should be able to completely submerge the reader in a specific act or scene so that the reader feels connected to it, I think.

 

[intim8]

his seed spilled forth in abundance like the first honeyed drops of spring.

That part at least doesn't really ring true for me. It's like describing the acceleration of a Ferrari as "easing away from the curb into traffic."

Let me try.
Male:
As his rise became an inevitable fall, time froze for an instant, just an instant, but it felt like all the time in the world. He could see each hair on her body in perfect clarity, he could see the second hand of the clock frozen exactly one third of the way to the next second. A perfect ethereal calmness came over him, the last before utter chaos.

The first jet fired out of him, and only then did time catch up and overtake him as he exploded in a pleasure that at first only served to remind him of the unbearable tension that he'd built up. He felt each pulse as a hot slug of liquid fire that squeezed from his balls and up his shaft, it's passage felt all the way through him, through her, until it was clear, a microcosm of the sudden release of tension that drained his whole body. He poured that tension into her, pulling it from deep inside his gut to flow out of him and deep inside her.

Female:
The first waves lapped gently at her core, far from where he could reach directly, where only the knowledge of his presence inside her could be felt. Each of his thrusts amplified it. Each wave built upon the last, rising to a curled, frothing foam that battered the last of her resistance.

They finally broke in a violent crescendo that spread throughout her body from that one central point. Every muscle and every tendon in her body strained, clamped, then released as each wave passed through it. Each part of her body was torn by those waves at at different times, a chaotic pattern that left her flailing as it hit an arm, or a leg, or the tendons of her neck, or swelling her breasts and straining the nipples toward the ceiling. Toward him.

The clenching of her sex as the waves passed through it triggered his release, a release she felt as a series of short, sharp thrusts and seeping surges of warmth that came almost in sync with the crashing of each wave within her, but enough out of time to turn the steady beat of her climax into a quivering dissonance of shudders that continued long after he'd collpsed on top of her.

---

Too many words to count, sorry. I had to make up the female one, obviously, and I know that, unfortunately, they're not always that intense. But did I capture something about what it is like, when it is that good? I've always wondered when I write these.