"To keep the review thread clean..."

[annaswirls]

:jumping on the bed with my Doc Martens:

: pretending to be dead so I get some mouth to mouth:

 

[Guest]

: pretending to be dead so I get some mouth to mouth:

:takes teeth out:

 

[annaswirls]

:takes teeth out:

:trying not to peek or giggle:
:turning blue:

 

[Angeline]

It is Sunday and fast approaching the "Season of Goodwill" so this in no way a shot at R/F alone but "tha" "n" and "lil" just make me move on to the next poem. Unfair? No, because someone else finds it cute and catchy and, in their eyes I'm the loser.

While I'm at it shouldn't it be "bows humbly" or "a humble bow"?

I don't mean to be difficult. Maybe the "season of goodwill" is starting to get to me. ee pointed out today that the people three houses down from us have a life-sized plastic Santa tied to a tree with a rope.

ee: (pointing as we drive by) Santa is tied to that tree.
me: You think they want to do bad things to Santa?
ee: I think Santa's done.

Merry Christmas!

 

[wildsweetone]

i can't believe nobody's said 'lucky Santa' yet!

Tess did you save Anna or is she an Ice Maiden now?

 

[annaswirls]

good will and freezing babies!

I don't mean to be difficult. Maybe the "season of goodwill" is starting to get to me. ee pointed out today that the people three houses down from us have a life-sized plastic Santa tied to a tree with a rope.

ee: (pointing as we drive by) Santa is tied to that tree.
me: You think they want to do bad things to Santa?
ee: I think Santa's done.

Merry Christmas!

Well across the street from us is that naked baby Jesus in sub-zero weather, not even swaddling clothing to protect him from the freezing ice and sleet. I swear this is the year I take the boys old recieving blankets and cover the poor sweet newborn babe

 

[twelveoone]

Ain't much 'Getto' 'n tha' hills of Tennessee <grin>

I heard a getto boy came to town once, he disappeared 'n' ole Betsy looked like she had a rather large meal <bigrin>

1.) Ever consider the fact that this statement can be construed as racist and threatening?
2.)(allowing for stylistic differences) Ever consider the fact that most people would consider that WickedEve, Tristess, Angeline, et al write better than either you or R/F and that both your's and R/f's writings may be subject to improvement if you both paid attention sometime, instead of rigidly defending your narrow worldview.

3.) All that aside, at least ole Betsy got a infusion of new DNA.

 

[TheRainMan]

What 'n' 'tha' world do you mean?

Do you boycot M & M's ? You know I like ya' GrassHopper, the Shakespearian poet, I find that the 'thees' and 'thou's' are distracting...perhaps the same way your uncomfortable with country slang. I find them to ADD charactor and spice a poem with something a 'tad bit' different which I see so many asking for something out of the norm. Dare to be different.

I for one enjoy the 'country charm' of RF'S writes. Like most poets her more serious poems are 'Grammar' correct 'n' 'tha'.... fun, silly, play with words are 'tha' cats meow 'n' poetic writ's.


just my opinion <grin>

Just reading through this thread, and I'm very confused as to why you would encourage a young (she is obviously young, judging from her writing) and developing poet to use language in that way, substituting 'n' for 'and' and 'tha' for 'the.'

They are certainly not used as country slang in her poems at all, or the slang would be throughout the poem instead of concentrated in certain words. It seems more like a young woman who has come to the conclusion that they simply sound 'cool.'

And I agree with others. When I see them in her writing, I just lose interest and stop reading.

 

[bogusbrig]

Where I come from 'thee' and 'tha' is de rigueur in local slang. DH Lawrence never had a problem with it and neither do I.

 

[TheRainMan]

Where I come from 'thee' and 'tha' is de rigueur in local slang. DH Lawrence never had a problem with it and neither do I.

They certainly aren't obligatory (is that what you mean by 'de rigueur'? Compulsory?) where I come from, nor where RhymeFairy comes from, I'm pretty sure. To me, in her poetry, they read as someone who is trying to be something they are not, streetish, a sort of poet wannabe street punk. They don't read 'natural' when she uses them.

I haven't seen anyone here use 'thee' or 'thou' yet, though I suppose they are lurking about somewhere.

 

[bogusbrig]

They certainly aren't obligatory (is that what you mean by 'de rigueur'? Compulsory?) where I come from, nor where RhymeFairy comes from, I'm pretty sure. To me, in her poetry, they read as someone who is trying to be something they are not, streetish, a sort of poet wannabe street punk. They don't read 'natural' when she uses them.

I haven't seen anyone here use 'thee' or 'thou' yet, though I suppose they are lurking about somewhere.

I was just being playful.

When something sounds artificial and superficial I think its worth pointing it out to the poet. Nothing more off putting than affected language.

As a local saying goes 'if tha ever does owt for nowt do it for thee sen.'

 

[TheRainMan]

I was just being playful.

When something sounds artificial and superficial I think its worth pointing it out to the poet. Nothing more off putting than affected language.

As a local saying goes 'if tha ever does owt for nowt do it for thee sen.'

I thought you might have been, but not knowing you or where you're from, I thought I'd answer.

Agree. Nothing more off-putting than affected language.

 

[twelveoone]

Where I come from 'thee' and 'tha' is de rigueur in local slang. DH Lawrence never had a problem with it and neither do I.

Oy!
I see yer scars 'ave 'healed, well, yur lookin' right cute, ye are.
Wots all this talk about de riguer mortis and infected language, mates?

 

[bogusbrig]

Oy!
I see yer scars 'ave 'healed, well, yur lookin' right cute, ye are.
Wots all this talk about de riguer mortis and infected language, mates?

Woh! Tr'uble at mill! Get thee sen back darn 'ole. (that's the pit for those who don't know the finer points of language)

 

[My Erotic Tale]

They certainly aren't obligatory (is that what you mean by 'de rigueur'? Compulsory?) where I come from, nor where RhymeFairy comes from, I'm pretty sure. To me, in her poetry, they read as someone who is trying to be something they are not, streetish, a sort of poet wannabe street punk. They don't read 'natural' when she uses them.

I haven't seen anyone here use 'thee' or 'thou' yet, though I suppose they are lurking about somewhere.

your new...been here less than a month with 15 posts and over 5 poems ...yet talk as though you been reading folks here enough to judge their poetry?????
I would have to guess another anonamouse or another angle in the sack <grin> We are talking one poets style that they are comfortable with and makes them unique ...but of course the task to perfect every one, must over ride reading some one that does not write as you... I heard it said in another thread that if EE Cummings was posting poems at lit they would probably be thought to need improvement and perhaps be more clear of their poetry...so I tend to enjoy the unique and it seems that most here all have different styles and different avenues of thought, I am almost certain not every likes everyones poetry <grin>

 

[My Erotic Tale]

Monday is always brighter with a a [zmp] by Artful dodger...as he spins the leaves of seasons... zmp~ dancing leaves
by My Erotic Tale ©


thank you blue (~_*)

 

[tungtied2u]

*****

 

[TheRainMan]

your new...been here less than a month with 15 posts and over 5 poems ...yet talk as though you been reading folks here enough to judge their poetry?????
I would have to guess another anonamouse or another angle in the sack <grin> We are talking one poets style that they are comfortable with and makes them unique ...but of course the task to perfect every one, must over ride reading some one that does not write as you... I heard it said in another thread that if EE Cummings was posting poems at lit they would probably be thought to need improvement and perhaps be more clear of their poetry...so I tend to enjoy the unique and it seems that most here all have different styles and different avenues of thought, I am almost certain not every likes everyones poetry <grin>

Huh?

Is that what 'country charm' reads like?

 

[TheRainMan]

to all those who read and commented on my submissions, Bluerains, LeBroz, DCpoet , The Rain Man and Sack. I especially appreciate the constructive criticism in regards to phrasing, editing and grammar.

You guys rock!

You're welcome.

Nice poems you posted.

 

[anonamouse]

your new...been here less than a month with 15 posts and over 5 poems ...yet talk as though you been reading folks here enough to judge their poetry?????
I would have to guess another anonamouse or another angle in the sack <grin> We are talking one poets style that they are comfortable with and makes them unique ...but of course the task to perfect every one, must over ride reading some one that does not write as you... I heard it said in another thread that if EE Cummings was posting poems at lit they would probably be thought to need improvement and perhaps be more clear of their poetry...so I tend to enjoy the unique and it seems that most here all have different styles and different avenues of thought, I am almost certain not every likes everyones poetry <grin>

your guess is wrong

 

[annaswirls]

your new...been here less than a month with 15 posts and over 5 poems ...yet talk as though you been reading folks here enough to judge their poetry?????
I would have to guess another anonamouse or another angle in the sack <grin> We are talking one poets style that they are comfortable with and makes them unique ...but of course the task to perfect every one, must over ride reading some one that does not write as you... I heard it said in another thread that if EE Cummings was posting poems at lit they would probably be thought to need improvement and perhaps be more clear of their poetry...so I tend to enjoy the unique and it seems that most here all have different styles and different avenues of thought, I am almost certain not every likes everyones poetry <grin>

Wow Art! So nice to see you welcoming the new guy!

you do not need to have read more than one poem of any poet to give a critique on that one poem. A critique to someone who is new here is worth more than critique that comes from bestest buddies who wanna make each other feel good.

Art you defend people from percieved attacks that are non-existent. They are adult discussions of writing. If you keep babying your friends... to me, it would be an insult. I would hope my "friends" would never coddle me like you coddle yours especially over a difference in opinion in my writing. My WRITING, not who I am etc. To do so would be insulting. Insulting. As if to say I were a little girl and could not take people discussing my work.

And RF I hope you understand that this part of the discussion has nothing to do with you or your poetry, just the philosophy behind the process of commenting, "judging" etc.

 

[Maria2394]

They certainly aren't obligatory (is that what you mean by 'de rigueur'? Compulsory?) where I come from, nor where RhymeFairy comes from, I'm pretty sure. To me, in her poetry, they read as someone who is trying to be something they are not, streetish, a sort of poet wannabe street punk. They don't read 'natural' when she uses them.

I haven't seen anyone here use 'thee' or 'thou' yet, though I suppose they are lurking about somewhere.

Hi Rainman,
that would be me I like obscure words, stuff that isnt used often, and some that can make a not-so-serious piece sound highfalootin' when its kinda meant in jest. Read some of Normal jean's stuff, I think thats where we hid most of them

maria

 

[Maria2394]

oh I didnt realize I was on the keep the review thread clean...

Rainman and bluerains--

thanks for the mention of seasons and separation,

and thanks to everyone who left feedback and comments. I was hoping to get good honest FB and so far I think its been great. I appreciate the time and effort very much.



maria

 

[annaswirls]

hey! I didn't know you were submitting here again! Cool!

ps I can see you. your invisible airplane needs some windex

oh I didnt realize I was on the keep the review thread clean...

Rainman and bluerains--

thanks for the mention of seasons and separation,

and thanks to everyone who left feedback and comments. I was hoping to get good honest FB and so far I think its been great. I appreciate the time and effort very much.



maria

 

[Maria2394]

hey! I didn't know you were submitting here again! Cool!

ps I can see you. your invisible airplane needs some windex

I didnt know i was either, it wa a sperm of the moment type thing I did it for the FB, truly. That is what I missed most about this place and now I see a few folks who are not afraid to tell me that a part of my poem is out of place, doesnt fit..that is how it works in the outside world ( YOU know that, anna!! You always did that for me ), in submitting poetry to other places, only usually, they dont tell you whats wrong,. It is wonderful to have those eyes here and willingness to offer opinion. People do not ofetn realize how valuable that is until it is lost. I am grateful

Ps, anna, you kinda confused me with the windex thing....i think. oh, hell, I better change that or it will worry me all night