tiny_tits
itty bitty
- Joined
- Nov 9, 2013
- Posts
- 4,250
so your boyfriend was an asshole.
But sounds like since then, you still want to try it.
Do you?
While that was a major setback, yes, I do.
I get really turned on when he plays with me there.
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so your boyfriend was an asshole.
But sounds like since then, you still want to try it.
Do you?
Best yet- thanks Paul!
I really don't care if he brags to his friends.
First of all, apologies up front for
(a) not looking back beyond the first few pages for a similar thread
(b) the use of 'girl' instead of woman or female. Somehow, "Bad Woman" doesn't sound quite right.
------------------------------------------------------------
I'm looking for tips, tricks and hints for the inhibited or shy woman who needs to learn how to let go. .
I really feel I have a ways to go. I know its not just as simple as stripping and crawling to him on my hands and knees, or just jumping on the bed naked.
What I'm looking for are hints on being seductive, exciting, erotic.
How about use of sex toys, props, dressing naughty, Kind of a 'how to turn up my Ideas on how to be a bad girl in the sense of letting go and allowing yourself to enjoy what the world of sex has to offerpersonal volume'. But more in a technical sense, rather than discussing my personal self esteem.
So guys, what is a turn on for you in the bedroom?
Girls, what helped you become more exotic / erotic / naughty in the bedroom?
*PS* I am not looking for PM's.
If you respond to this topic by PM, consider this as your response:
Thank you for your reply, but please respond on the thread, so others can agree / add to / disagree.
^^^That is the best advice you have/will receive. Read, reread, memorize, and take to heart.
I highlighted that sentence, because I hope that the reason you are pursuing this is because you want to enhance your sexual experiences for yourself, and not because you want to impress a partner with your bedroom calisthenics.
This is going to be kind of rambly, and perhaps a bit general, but it's something I wanted to get of my chest. I've been thinking about replying to your thread for a few days now, but didn't think my advice was the kind of advice you were looking for. I've decided to throw it out there anyway, and you can take from it whatever you like or need.
At 22, you could be my daughter. As such, I'm going to approach this as if you were a daughter, and the types of things I would want to tell my daughter, and what I wish my own mother might have said to me.
When I was your age, my sole concern when it came to sex was whether or not the guy "liked" me. In other words, was I doing what he wanted, making him hot, getting him off the way he wanted it, etc. I worried about how I looked during sex. I worried if my hair or makeup still looked good, did my cellulite show, and was I making the appropriate noises. It was all about trying to live up to whatever his expectation was. My own enjoyment and pleasure in the act was secondary, and wasn't a priority.
This was in an age before computers, and the ability to consume porn faster than hamburgers through a McDonalds drive though window. The little porn that I saw during that time was a couple of Hustler magazines that had black dots over the genitals wherever there was any penetrative sex. I'm sure the boys got to see a bit more, but I'm also pretty sure even the dirty movies available back then would be considered tame by the standards of some of the kinky stuff I've seen recently.
Now, young people can see every possible type of sex imaginable at the click of a mouse, and at an age when I was probably still playing with Barbie and Ken and their androgynous genitals. And truly, my heart aches for young people who are basing their ideas about what sex should be from pornography. If I were 21 today, and looked at porn as a way to base what I needed to be like for real life sex, I'd probably never have taken my clothes off!
I have to say this to you because I really do hope that you are not trying to make some guy happy by being some sort of slutty little porn star for him, when it's not who you are and you are not comfortable with it.
I worry that the young men of today are putting pressure on the girls to let them do things to them that they see in porn, but, the young women don't really enjoy or feel comfortable with. Yet, they think they SHOULD be comfortable with it, because we see so much of it in porn...and everyone is doing that stuff, right?
A friend of mine's daughter was anally raped last year. She told me that the high school kids are doing anal now because you can't get pregnant from anal. When I was in high school, I am not sure anyone even considered anal as being an option...not at that age anyway.
So...what I really want to say to you is this: Please, do what you do with your partner because it will make you happy, and not because you are trying to impress or be something or someone you really aren't.
Relish your body, your sexuality, your physical response to your own touch and your to partner's. Learn the rhythm of your body, and show your partner what you need from him. You don't have to be Meryl Streep in the bedroom. Just let things flow naturally between the two of you, and you will find your inner "bad girl" soon enough. Being comfortable with a man will be the thing that will bring that aspect out in you. Being sexually open and responsive does not necessarily mean dressing up, toys, anal sex, bondage, or kink. For me, it just means the ability to freely give and to accept the pleasure that is offered. Having a partner whom you trust, who you know wants not just to take their cookies, but will give back to you in equal measure.
I'm trying not to come off all preachy here...and I am sorry if it seems that way. I'm truly not trying to be.
I just want to be sure your motivation for this is for the right reasons. I've been 22, and I know how badly that I wanted to be the "perfect woman" for some guy, and the anxiety it brought me when I measured myself by my own yardstick and came up wanting. I'd love to think that you will get the opportunity to explore and express your sensuality and sexuality on your own timetable, naturally.
Hugs!
Aphro
I get this question alot- do I know what I want?
The simple answer is no.
How can you know what you want when you only know you are dissatisfied?
Like, I think I can be good in bed- I even practice deep throating on a banana in a condom- but I still feel I am not as adventuresome as others.
Now, while I enjoy some anal play, I have been abused there before, and have a few hangups that have to be resolved before full out anal sex.
Otherwise, I am pretty open to anything sexual- including multiple partners.
But I 'suck' at expressing those issues
I think you just did a pretty good job of explaining it.
You may only need a guy willing to go slow and ask you what you like. If you need to, we can practice on yahoo.
... but you are just your average pervert
How can you know what you want when you only know you are dissatisfied?
I think this question lies at the heart of this whole thread.
What specifically are you dissatisfied with? Is it your performance? Your lover's? Both? Are you not reaching orgasm? If you are, is it not satisfying you in the way you think it should? Are you worried that you're not satisfying your lover? Any or all of the above?
And are we talking about emotional or physical satisfaction? or both? If what you're really after is emotional and not physical satisfaction, no amount of skill in the bedroom can promise you that. I think we've all been going on the assumption that you're seeking physical satisfaction.
Many of the previous posts are full of great advice so I apologize if this sounds like a broken record...
You should try to get in touch with what drives your own sexual response. What kind of things or situations help you relax and get into a sexual state of mind? What kind of actions or situations arouse you? What kind of actions or situations really REALLY turn you on? And what leads to true feelings of satisfaction?
For example, when you post pics to your other thread, does that sort of exhibitionism turn you on? If so, there's a good place to start. If it gets your blood flowing, follow that feeling, explore it, keep doing that thing that makes you feel good, gets you really turned on, and see if you can satisfy yourself. And then afterward, think about it. Not as in psychological analysis or anything, but just think about what you liked and maybe what you can do differently next time. Then, next time, try the same things but with a little variation. And build on that. It really comes down to a process of exploration.
You can explore by yourself and then bring your lover into it but it's probably better to start out exploring on your own so you have a better understanding of what makes you feel good, what turns you on, how you can satisfy yourself. Because if you don't know how to do that, it will be all the more difficult to when you add another person to the mix.
But above all, don't be too critical. You're learning. Sex is a skill. Good sex takes lots of practice. If you want to be a sexual jedi (and I kinda hope you do ) keep practicing.
so many questions...
If you are, is it not satisfying you in the way you think it should?
This for sure.