The Long Road Home (closed)

[KieranSoares]

Ian pulled her in tight to trap her against his solid body, chuckling before he spoke. "Now... what t'do with you..." his voice was like dark honey. It wasn't clear if he was alluding to something more or just being playful. He had a way of hiding his true motives, though they were never anything very selfish.

She could almost hear his grin when he finally spoke; "I think you owe me another kiss for running off on me last time."

 

[heartofcourage]

Sarah was breathless as Ian demanded another kiss. The corner of her lips tipped up in a smile and she had a sly look on her features. Her fingers settled on his chest, curling in the fabric of his shirt as she stared into his handsome eyes.

"I'm not sure that's a price I'm willing to pay." She said, challenging Ian to see just what he would do.

 

[KieranSoares]

"Then I'll just have to keep you until you do," Ian's embrace tightened the slightest bit, holding her against him. He pressed a sweet kiss just beneath her ear, and instead of being sly and smirking away, he softened. He was a soft man once he trusted someone, but kind anyway.

 

[heartofcourage]

Sarah shivered at the tender kiss that Ian pressed behind her ear, showing her just how kind of a man he could be. Turning her head to the side, she tilted herself back against his shoulder, looking into his eyes. How had she been so blind to the kind man that wanted nothing but her? She let out a sigh, her hand moving to pull his lips down against her in a gently, sensual kiss.

 

[KieranSoares]

Ian's kiss was that of a man who naturally knew how to love and gave his love freely once accepted. One arm remained around her waist, and the other now laid across her belly intimately. He sighed contently into their kiss, and when their lips finally parted, his eyes opened to meet her own. He tried to speak, but he found that no sound would come. Nothing he could say would do this moment any justice.

 

[heartofcourage]

Sarah was speechless as she stared up into Ian's eyes. His hands splayed in a familiar fashion about her waist, holding her so tightly. She felt special and small in his arms...a feeling that she wasn't entirely comfortable with at the moment.

"I still think you're wrong in wanting a relationship with me." She murmured softly, trying so hard to dissuade him from what he wanted.

 

[KieranSoares]

"And I know you're wrong in thinkin' that I could ever want anyone else." He turned her to face him fully, lifting a calloused hand to touch her cheek and brush a strand of her hair back. "You're so beautiful... I still can't hardly believe tha' the Gods're capable of makin' somethin' so perfect... Every time I look at you, I know there's such a thing as Heaven." He wasn't an incredibly learned man, nor very cultured, but he'd always had a way with words. He'd learned to read when they were teens, just so he could write to her whenever he couldn't visit her.

 

[heartofcourage]

His romantic words frightened her slightly and Sarah pulled away from him, her eyes moving from his to the ground. She gathered her thoughts for a long moment before she blew out a long sigh. Pushing a lock of her hair behind her ear, she finally looked at Ian once more.

"I don't deserve such pretty words." She murmured softly, uncomfortable with the entire situation.

 

[KieranSoares]

"Don't tell me not to say what I really feel, Sarah..." Ian pleaded softly. "I wouldn't say it if I wasn't sure it was true." He took her hand and kissed it. "I love you. I know I have no right, bein' what I am... I've never had much t'offer other'n love... an' all I want is for you to be happy."

 

[heartofcourage]

"You're suffocating me, Ian." Sarah said suddenly, pulling her hand away from his as a panicked look came to her eyes. "Please...don't..."

 

[KieranSoares]

Ian took a step back from her at her panicked expression, and she found concern and a little heartbreak in his eyes. His brows stitched and he dropped his gaze to the floor. "Sorry..." he whispered. "I jus'... I want t'see you smile again... I was hoping that, maybe if you knew how I felt... maybe it'd help." He took another step back, letting his hands rest at his sides. He couldn't meet her eyes anymore, almost like a dog that'd been struck by the mistress he loved most. He may as well have been. He retreated, settling on a bench. He wouldn't leave her all alone, too worried for her safety, but he gave her plenty of space.

 

[heartofcourage]

Sarah stared at him for the longest moment, her heart hammering inside of her chest. She wasn't sure what she was suppose to feel. It made her ache in the worst way possible. She fled from the garden, knowing that Shia would follow her and it was only when she was in her room did she turn to face her faithful companion.

"What's wrong with me, Shia?" She asked him in a worried tone, her brow wrinkling and her eyes misting with frustrated tears. "Why do I always break his heart?"

 

[KieranSoares]

"Perhaps you're afraid he'll be another Brogan." Shia suggested quietly as he closed the door. "Or that you'll lose him because he's in so much trouble for helping you." He stopped before her, finding her hand and taking it in both his own, stroking his thumb over her knuckles comfortingly. "But what's certain is that you're afraid... he loves you in a way no one ever has before."

 

[heartofcourage]

"I don't want his love." She murmured, stepping into Shia's comforting embrace. "I don't want anything from him."

 

[KieranSoares]

"You might not want it. But I can see it, Sarah, blind as I am... you need him. I'm not sure how you feel for him, but I know you need him." He kissed her forehead and sighed. "He's the solid foundation you've needed all your life."

 

[heartofcourage]

"He'll break my heart, Shia. I know he will." She murmured against his chest, feeling so helpless as she was when Brogan had chosen Cassie over herself. "I don't think I can put myself through that again."

 

[KieranSoares]

"No, he won't break your heart," Shia shook his head. "You'll break your own by pushing him away and refusing yourself the chance to love." He lifted her chin and kissed her cheek. "Give him a chance. Give yourself a chance. You'll never be happy unless you allow chances."

 

[heartofcourage]

"Why can't this all be easy?" She asked her guardian, sighing miserably.

 

[KieranSoares]

"If it were easy, it wouldn't be worth the trouble. It's the journey, Sarah, not the destination." He kissed her forehead now and sat down with her on the edge of her bed. Sighing, he laid his head against her own. "I just wish it didn't have to be this difficult, though... Both you and Ian have had enough..."

 

[heartofcourage]

Sarah was quiet for a long moment before she let out a long, almost defeated sigh. "I suppose I own Ian an apology then."

 

[KieranSoares]

"Not unless you want to give him one. You have your reasons. Maybe a bit more of an explanation." Shia offered her a smile. "Whenever you're ready, I know he'll be there waiting. He's too dedicated to you to leave."

 

[heartofcourage]

"I guess." She said softly, looking up at Shia. "Maybe we could have dinner tonight in the garden. I can talk to him then."

 

[KieranSoares]

"It's your call, dear." Shia nodded, and left her room to allow her to think. He didn't stray too far, for her safety.

Ian hadn't moved from the bench in the garden, finding that his legs didn't want to move.

 

[heartofcourage]

Sarah thought about her relationship with Ian for the rest of the afternoon, fretting that she had destroyed something so pure and beautiful. As the meal time rolled around, she ordered the servants to set up a meal in the garden. She changed into a pretty gown of deep red, brushing her hair until it shined. She wanted to look perfect when she saw him again.

She was surprised as she stepped into the garden to still see Ian in the same spot that she had left him earlier. He looked so sad...and that broke her heart.

"Ian?" She murmured softly, waiting until he looked her direction. "Would you like to eat dinner with me?"

 

[KieranSoares]

Ian met her gaze only briefly, and she found he couldn't look her in the eye longer than a second. He rose and spoke quietly, "Y'don't have to invite me along, Sarah..." He was secretly rather ashamed of himself. He'd been sitting there all afternoon lost in misery over something he never could've hoped to make work. He thought of himself as little more than a wishful idiot.