Social Experiment - Ladies, Send a PM to a Random Man on Lit for a Change

[MrEd63]

I have a feeling that my pm's are faulty.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Or one could just ask. Like a diamond in the rough, a needle in a haystack, I think I have plenty of posts out there...

But maybe that is the problem. My social awkwardness even gets the best of me in print.

Post stalking people is often more revealing.

I'd rather see a person who tries to interact.

 

[Gracie13]

Aww I love a good romantic comedy!

 

[ThirdShift]

Post stalking people is often more revealing.

I'd rather see a person who tries to interact.

Sadly I don’t always interact well. It’s my fault, I know.

Oh well... lonely in the real world and the fantasy world. What does that tell you about me? All that is needed I suppose.

 

[Runnerwrites]

Yep that would be mine

Yes it would.

 

[Jonx178]

Sadly I don’t always interact well. It’s my fault, I know.

Oh well... lonely in the real world and the fantasy world. What does that tell you about me? All that is needed I suppose.

You know if you want people to interact with you you have to be more upbeat and positive. Nobody wants to hang out with someone who is negative and down. It just brings them down and nobody wants that. So my advice would be to try and be more positive even if you have to fake it because eventually if you’re surrounded by people who are positive your attitude will become positive. And then you’ll have more people around you so you won’t be lonely. Try it out it can’t hurt anything and it just might help.

 

[DDBustyBrit]

You know if you want people to interact with you you have to be more upbeat and positive. Nobody wants to hang out with someone who is negative and down. It just brings them down and nobody wants that. So my advice would be to try and be more positive even if you have to fake it because eventually if you’re surrounded by people who are positive your attitude will become positive. And then you’ll have more people around you so you won’t be lonely. Try it out it can’t hurt anything and it just might help.

Completely agree 100%, great nicely put advice

 

[Jonx178]

Completely agree 100%, great nicely put advice

Why thank you *Takes a bow*

 

[ThirdShift]

Always found that advice interesting. The idea is basically fake it so someone else will be interested in a fake personality so they can learn the real one.

Seems less than authentic.

Maybe it’s just me, I tend to seek out those who arnt all gumdrops and lollipops because it’s those people who need a friend or someone to listen too.

 

[Jonx178]

Always found that advice interesting. The idea is basically fake it so someone else will be interested in a fake personality so they can learn the real one.

Seems less than authentic.

That was not my intent. I meant for him to just put up a positive front if he couldn’t stop being negative so that he will eventually be surrounded by people who are positive and then when he is not lonely anymore you wouldn’t be negative because he would have no reason to be and then the positive front would become his real attitude so he wouldn’t be faking anymore. Does that make sense? I see what you were saying though.

 

[ThirdShift]

My point is, there is probably a reason or two why someone is negative or has a low view of themselves. It’s fucking hard to fake being someone else. It merely reinforces that in the moment who you are no one really wants to be around or gives enough shits to care what got someone in the pits of life in the first place.

“Sorry you are depressed kid, why don’t you act like you are not so someone will like you.” What shit advice.

 

[Chris_Michael]

My point is, there is probably a reason or two why someone is negative or has a low view of themselves. It’s fucking hard to fake being someone else. It merely reinforces that in the moment who you are no one really wants to be around or gives enough shits to care what got someone in the pits of life in the first place.

“Sorry you are depressed kid, why don’t you act like you are not so someone will like you.” What shit advice.

Okay, so as somebody who is legit diagnosed by a psychiatrist with Major Depressive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Social Anxiety Disorder.... along with a Doctorate in Pharmacy having studied CNS drug therapies, I can assure you that you can portray a positive attitude despite having to fight it.

I do it every fucking day.

I have a new job that I'm trying to get and I've been waiting on it for 4 months and I have to go to meetings, portraying myself as positive. Because I want the job.

If you WANT something, you have to fight for it. You can't just say you can't help yourself and expect people to come lift you up. You have to show you're fighting. That's when people will show they care too.

Because if you don't care, why should we? Why should I help somebody who refuses to help themselves, refuses to have a hopeful attitude, and refuses to let me give constructive criticism?

Dude, just chill. A woman will PM you. Just relax.

 

[Jonx178]

Look you’re blowing this way out of proportion. All I said was that the guy should not act so negative in the threads if you wanted people to send him PMs. And that he should try to be a little bit more upbeat. That’s all, the guys posting on the threads about his low opinion about himself. How do you expect people to like you if you don’t like your self that’s all I was trying to say.

 

[ThirdShift]

Okay, so as somebody who is legit diagnosed by a psychiatrist with Major Depressive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Social Anxiety Disorder.... along with a Doctorate in Pharmacy having studied CNS drug therapies, I can assure you that you can portray a positive attitude despite having to fight it.

I do it every fucking day.

I have a new job that I'm trying to get and I've been waiting on it for 4 months and I have to go to meetings, portraying myself as positive. Because I want the job.

If you WANT something, you have to fight for it. You can't just say you can't help yourself and expect people to come lift you up. You have to show you're fighting. That's when people will show they care too.

Because if you don't care, why should we? Why should I help somebody who refuses to help themselves, refuses to have a hopeful attitude, and refuses to let me give constructive criticism?

Dude, just chill. A woman will PM you. Just relax.

Sometimes people have been beat down so bad, they don’t have enough energy to put up the fight. Sometimes people are so down the only instinct is to “lash out”.

It isn’t a refusal to help themselves, it’s an inability.

And sometimes the best place to find the light is to sit in the darkness. Instead of looking at experiences as either “positive or negative”, maybe just accept someone for the experience they are having and join them.

I wonder what would have happened if the good samaratin had the attitude of refusing to help the person because it seemed they were not able to help themselves?!?

It precisely when someone else doesn’t care or can’t care that we should step in to care for them. Because it is then, that maybe just maybe they will realize they are worth it because someone else cared regardless.

 

[Chris_Michael]

Sometimes people have been beat down so bad, they don’t have enough energy to put up the fight. Sometimes people are so down the only instinct is to “lash out”.

It isn’t a refusal to help themselves, it’s an inability.

And sometimes the best place to find the light is to sit in the darkness. Instead of looking at experiences as either “positive or negative”, maybe just accept someone for the experience they are having and join them.

I wonder what would have happened if the good samaratin had the attitude of refusing to help the person because it seemed they were not able to help themselves?!?

It precisely when someone else doesn’t care or can’t care that we should step in to care for them. Because it is then, that maybe just maybe they will realize they are worth it because someone else cared regardless.

Dude, I get it. Every time I get in my car, I play this song at least once.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkSASi_eN_k

You're not entitled to a Good Samaritan. None of us are. Natural Selection is real thing. You have to value yourself enough to at least show you want to fight. Even just the desire to fight. But if you openly display the attitude of giving up, nobody will help. Maybe people will try *shrugs* But what good will it do? You want to be defeated.

 

[12568978534691178521]

I'm a fan of this experiment so far

 

[ThirdShift]

As suppose as a man of faith and student of faiths, personally I aspire to be a Good Samaritan. Nor did I seek to communicate that I felt entitled to one. But as one who is empathetic (perhaps to a fault) to the needs of others and as an introvert who has a hard time admitting ones own personal needs, it would be nice to have one and not be told to change my personality.

Basically it would be nice to have someone reach out and attempt to get to know me before saying I needed to change.

 

[DDBustyBrit]

I'm a fan of this experiment so far

Great! You go cute baker boy!

 

[Gracie13]

I mean, I don't know any of you personally, so I don't even know why I feel compelled to comment on this...but Chris just basically told you his story, and I do believe Jonx was in an accident that left him paralyzed. I don't think many around here have had it easy, and don't struggle with life in some way, shape, or form.

I don't think anyone is trying to tell you to get over it, but maybe they're trying to help you overcome it...or at least deal with it better.

 

[Chris_Michael]

I mean, I don't know any of you personally, so I don't even know why I feel compelled to comment on this...but Chris just basically told you his story, and I do believe Jonx was in an accident that left him paralyzed. I don't think many around here have had it easy, and don't struggle with life in some way, shape, or form.

I don't think anyone is trying to tell you to get over it, but maybe they're trying to help you overcome it...or at least deal with it better.

This woman gets it.

LOOK AT YOU, GRACIE. Dayum girl, you hit the nail on the head. I am so proud of you!

 

[SassySheDevil]

As suppose as a man of faith and student of faiths, personally I aspire to be a Good Samaritan. Nor did I seek to communicate that I felt entitled to one. But as one who is empathetic (perhaps to a fault) to the needs of others and as an introvert who has a hard time admitting ones own personal needs, it would be nice to have one and not be told to change my personality.

Basically it would be nice to have someone reach out and attempt to get to know me before saying I needed to change.

Ok, how about I just come give you a hug? I mean I have squishy boobs and all. So it'll be soft. But. Sadly I'm short. So they might be at your knees..

Will that cheer you up?

 

[Jonx178]

I mean, I don't know any of you personally, so I don't even know why I feel compelled to comment on this...but Chris just basically told you his story, and I do believe Jonx was in an accident that left him paralyzed. I don't think many around here have had it easy, and don't struggle with life in some way, shape, or form.

I don't think anyone is trying to tell you to get over it, but maybe they're trying to help you overcome it...or at least deal with it better.

Yea I was in a accident that left me paralyzed and wasn’t in the best place for a long time but thanks to my family and rehab I was able to turn my life around so I know what I’m talking about when it comes to the effect of a positive attitude. Nobody wanted to be around me when I was feeling sorry for myself so I had to fake it and eventually I wasn’t faking it anymore when I saw that I could still have a life even if I couldn’t walk. It’s not easy but it works.

 

[Chris_Michael]

Ok, how about I just come give you a hug? I mean I have squishy boobs and all. So it'll be soft. But. Sadly I'm short. So they might be at your knees..

Will that cheer you up?

I'm not gonna be mad..... I'm not gonna be mad..... I'm not gonna be mad.....

This motherfucker better be grateful.

 

[Gracie13]

Yea I was in a accident that left me paralyzed and wasn’t in the best place for a long time but thanks to my family and rehab I was able to turn my life around so I know what I’m talking about when it comes to the effect of a positive attitude. Nobody wanted to be around me when I was feeling sorry for myself so I had to fake it and eventually I wasn’t faking it anymore when I saw that I could still have a life even if I couldn’t walk. It’s not easy but it works.

Thanks for sharing your story. You're an inspiration!

 

[ThirdShift]

Ok, how about I just come give you a hug? I mean I have squishy boobs and all. So it'll be soft. But. Sadly I'm short. So they might be at your knees..

Will that cheer you up?

I appreciate it. Nothing I miss more than a warm embrace.