Sexual journeys and some questions
- Thread starter Noor
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Iwasagoodgirl
Now I'm a Naughty Nurse
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I hope no one minds me sharing on this thread but I have been very stupid. I lived a very sheltered life, strict catholic. Most of my spare time I spent in sports and have a very toned body.
You may find it hard to believe but I was so indoctrinated to think any sexual feelings were wrong I hadn't even masturbated. One day a new guy arrived at the gym and we got talking. He told me he was in the army and was home on leave. After about four weeks we went on our first date. It was good but nothing happened, we didn't even kiss. The following week there was a dance in the barracks and I was invited. I rarely wear a skirt but on this occassion I did. During the dancing I could feel him up against me and I felt very awkward. After an hour I made an excuse and decided to go home. My date followed me out and started crying. He said he was off to Afghanistan the next day and didn't know if he would ever come back. He just needed someone to talk to.
Stupidly I agreed to go back to his quarters and went to his room. He said he had never kissed a girl before and was scared he never would if he got killed in Kabal. Somehow we started kissing and before I knew it we were lying next to each other on the bed. My heart was racing as my blouse and bra came off and he was biting my nipples. I had never felt anything like it and the sensation and wetness in my pussy were awesome.
Wearing pull up stockings meant he only had to remove my panties and he would access to my virgin pussy. In the heat of passion I found myself mounted and penetrated before I knew what was happening. It hurt like hell and I could feel warm fluid dripping from my crotch which I later found was blood. I begged him not to give me ababy but he just tensed, grunted and came inside me. The following day I went to the chemist and bought the morning after pill.
Two days later I found out four guys had taken bets as to who could take my innocence. This guy was an army reserve and was never going to be deployed. I went to confession but the priest wasn't helpful at all. It was a whole year before I could go on another date.
You may find it hard to believe but I was so indoctrinated to think any sexual feelings were wrong I hadn't even masturbated. One day a new guy arrived at the gym and we got talking. He told me he was in the army and was home on leave. After about four weeks we went on our first date. It was good but nothing happened, we didn't even kiss. The following week there was a dance in the barracks and I was invited. I rarely wear a skirt but on this occassion I did. During the dancing I could feel him up against me and I felt very awkward. After an hour I made an excuse and decided to go home. My date followed me out and started crying. He said he was off to Afghanistan the next day and didn't know if he would ever come back. He just needed someone to talk to.
Stupidly I agreed to go back to his quarters and went to his room. He said he had never kissed a girl before and was scared he never would if he got killed in Kabal. Somehow we started kissing and before I knew it we were lying next to each other on the bed. My heart was racing as my blouse and bra came off and he was biting my nipples. I had never felt anything like it and the sensation and wetness in my pussy were awesome.
Wearing pull up stockings meant he only had to remove my panties and he would access to my virgin pussy. In the heat of passion I found myself mounted and penetrated before I knew what was happening. It hurt like hell and I could feel warm fluid dripping from my crotch which I later found was blood. I begged him not to give me ababy but he just tensed, grunted and came inside me. The following day I went to the chemist and bought the morning after pill.
Two days later I found out four guys had taken bets as to who could take my innocence. This guy was an army reserve and was never going to be deployed. I went to confession but the priest wasn't helpful at all. It was a whole year before I could go on another date.
Noor
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Sorry you had to go through that. I have never experienced date rape which is basically what that was. I can certainly understand not wanting to go on another date for a bit.
Are you all up on sex, boundaries and birth control now?
Iwasagoodgirl
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Yes thank you. I'm very much up to date. The Priest doesn't like it but my boy friend does.
Noor
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Yes thank you. I'm very much up to date. The Priest doesn't like it but my boy friend does.
Glad to hear it!
Noor
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Update
The journey continues or at least begins to again. I have been to some interesting events, Valentine's Day was amazing.
Back in physiotherapy and trying not to shut off all feeling to my body although the pain is so intense sometimes... Things are improving though.
Wild partying and exploring got a bit derailed last month but begins anew this week
Should be dancing again soon too!
The journey continues or at least begins to again. I have been to some interesting events, Valentine's Day was amazing.
Back in physiotherapy and trying not to shut off all feeling to my body although the pain is so intense sometimes... Things are improving though.
Wild partying and exploring got a bit derailed last month but begins anew this week
Should be dancing again soon too!
Dhalgren150
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Sugar Kink!
Supreme ecstasy.
Supreme ecstasy.
Noor
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Sugar Kink!
Supreme ecstasy.
My favorite drunken Druid! Thanks!
Dhalgren150
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My Fave smart lady who speaks truths and knows what she wants.
and seeks enlightenment's.
TheOlderGuy
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Noor
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TheOlderGuy
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Do they tell you exciting things?
Absolutely. It's how I first learned that the forests were filled with aliens disguised as trees.
Noor
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Getting more visual!
Persuaded Mindfondler to strip for the ladies of Lit!
He did a great job and I truly enjoyed watching it do it, and the added commentary
Mindfondler's suit strip!
If I ever take up couples, I would consider him and his wife. Never thought about couples before either, hmmm.
Persuaded Mindfondler to strip for the ladies of Lit!
He did a great job and I truly enjoyed watching it do it, and the added commentary
Mindfondler's suit strip!
If I ever take up couples, I would consider him and his wife. Never thought about couples before either, hmmm.
Mindfondler
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I've only just found this posting from a couple of weeks ago...
How intriguing... I don't think we're ready for that at the moment, but I for one feel unexpectedly curious about the concept.
.
How intriguing... I don't think we're ready for that at the moment, but I for one feel unexpectedly curious about the concept.
.
Noor
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tonguetrap
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Great thread!
Noor, this is seriously a great thread! I have enjoyed reading others sexual journey and am reminded how tenuous our hold on our own values when they have been altered from "innocent virgin" (a real misnomer) to a sexually rearranged personality. My story is one of childhood sexual abuse by a neighbor which complicated my sexual being considerably as you can imagine.
My first love, a neighbor girl at 15, was less than a success as first liaisons can be when youth and sex are mixed. We were both products of the 50s, sexually repressed ,wasnt discussed, tho I knew all the physiology from books, no one addressed my considerable concerns about masturbation ( been caught by my Dad, he respected my privacy) or any others regarding this major drive that was new and desirable and so wasnt ready for the strong feelings for this Lady.
Been pretty much sexually "distressed", conflicted between sex for fun( when I drank, from 14 till 32 ) and and married , monogamous sex and fidelity. Then also had to learn to enjoy sex sober. Yikes, all those conflicts between convention (tho was never told specifically that sex was meant for marriage only or that sexual expression was bad), and my need for expression sexually.
Ive been with quite a few women, never liked to watch anyone give me a blow job(refer to abuse as a youngster) till I was freed from most of that with a therapist in a session where I had to relive the experience of one instance of a blow job I gave the neighbor and was forgiven by my Mother(strange, no? She is deceased, the therapist played her role) . Few months later, I was interested in oral sex with a man, tried it and found I didnt like promiscuous sex as I did when younger. I have fantasies about Bi sexual stuff, but havent found the correct combination of personalities and situations ....yet.
So its been a journey of guilt and the removal of that guilt till I find that whatever hangups remain are ones of loyalty not with sex itself. Hope someone can relate on some level .
I am in awe of your start sexually, Noor. Would that I could go back and do it over, your early sexual successes are a to be admired. In sorry about all your physical problems, and your rehab is laudable.
I was sexually null for 6 years, due to a "bent nail" and lung transplant, resulting in divorce and need for a penile implant , in 2009, and have REALLY enjoyed sex since. Im so much more able to experiment, and feel 17 again! Its great!
Noor, this is seriously a great thread! I have enjoyed reading others sexual journey and am reminded how tenuous our hold on our own values when they have been altered from "innocent virgin" (a real misnomer) to a sexually rearranged personality. My story is one of childhood sexual abuse by a neighbor which complicated my sexual being considerably as you can imagine.
My first love, a neighbor girl at 15, was less than a success as first liaisons can be when youth and sex are mixed. We were both products of the 50s, sexually repressed ,wasnt discussed, tho I knew all the physiology from books, no one addressed my considerable concerns about masturbation ( been caught by my Dad, he respected my privacy) or any others regarding this major drive that was new and desirable and so wasnt ready for the strong feelings for this Lady.
Been pretty much sexually "distressed", conflicted between sex for fun( when I drank, from 14 till 32 ) and and married , monogamous sex and fidelity. Then also had to learn to enjoy sex sober. Yikes, all those conflicts between convention (tho was never told specifically that sex was meant for marriage only or that sexual expression was bad), and my need for expression sexually.
Ive been with quite a few women, never liked to watch anyone give me a blow job(refer to abuse as a youngster) till I was freed from most of that with a therapist in a session where I had to relive the experience of one instance of a blow job I gave the neighbor and was forgiven by my Mother(strange, no? She is deceased, the therapist played her role) . Few months later, I was interested in oral sex with a man, tried it and found I didnt like promiscuous sex as I did when younger. I have fantasies about Bi sexual stuff, but havent found the correct combination of personalities and situations ....yet.
So its been a journey of guilt and the removal of that guilt till I find that whatever hangups remain are ones of loyalty not with sex itself. Hope someone can relate on some level .
I am in awe of your start sexually, Noor. Would that I could go back and do it over, your early sexual successes are a to be admired. In sorry about all your physical problems, and your rehab is laudable.
I was sexually null for 6 years, due to a "bent nail" and lung transplant, resulting in divorce and need for a penile implant , in 2009, and have REALLY enjoyed sex since. Im so much more able to experiment, and feel 17 again! Its great!
Noor
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Thanks for posting tonguetrap! Glad you are enjoying yourself now.
I think I was lucky to be among a bunch of like minded people and have very good relationship/sexual mentors when I was younger. I really prefer sexual relationships without a lot of drama and partners with whom I can cross back and forth across the lover/friend line. If I am in a serious committed relationship and all that stuff, I will, of course prefer whatever we agree upon but still not big on drama
I think I was lucky to be among a bunch of like minded people and have very good relationship/sexual mentors when I was younger. I really prefer sexual relationships without a lot of drama and partners with whom I can cross back and forth across the lover/friend line. If I am in a serious committed relationship and all that stuff, I will, of course prefer whatever we agree upon but still not big on drama
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tonguetrap
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Thanks for posting tonguetrap! Glad you are enjoying yourself now.
I think I was lucky to be among a bunch of like minded people and have very good relationship/sexual mentors when I was younger. I really prefer sexual relationships without a lot of drama and partners with whom I can cross back and forth across the lover/friend line. If I am in a serious committed relationship and all that stuff, I will, of course prefer whatever we agree upon but still not big on drama
Thanks, Noor. Wish I had some mentors, just didnt happen. I like this thread, a lot of heartfelt thoughts here. Be well.....
tonguetrap
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Svaha......
Noor- I see , after some research, that your location is at the end of a Buddhist Mantra- Could you expand on that? Thanks
Noor- I see , after some research, that your location is at the end of a Buddhist Mantra- Could you expand on that? Thanks
Noor- I see , after some research, that your location is at the end of a Buddhist Mantra- Could you expand on that? Thanks
I'd be interested to hear Noor's thoughts, too, but she does have this link in her profile.
Noor
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As an Antiochian, I go with this one:
“the time between seeing the lightning and hearing the thunder; a waiting for promises to be fulfilled”
Noor
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Thanks, Noor. Wish I had some mentors, just didnt happen. I like this thread, a lot of heartfelt thoughts here. Be well.....
I didn't really have any mentors, we were all just experimenting together. I think it's more a matter of trust and a mindset.
