Seeking feedback for new NonCon story

[UnderscoreRedhead]

Hey friends! I just published a new noncon story a few days ago and noticed that it hasn’t rated as well as my others. Would love some feedback and constructive criticism with the thought of going back and rewriting it.

Check it out: “They Lie in Wait”

Thanks!!

 

[filthytrancendence]

I think it's the beginning where you're running into trouble. Once you get to the scene where Star is abducted, it is intense and very engaging. Everything before that feels disjointed.

I highly recommend you just cut the entire expository blurb in the beginning, and I suggest you cut the number of side characters in the beginning to one, maybe two. Focus more on establishing the Star/Ben dynamic before the abduction. Maybe move that flashback scene of how Ben's wife went missing close to the beginning.

Finally, editing always helps . There's some grammar and spelling mistakes sprinkled throughout.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Hey friends! I just published a new noncon story a few days ago and noticed that it hasn’t rated as well as my others. Would love some feedback and constructive criticism with the thought of going back and rewriting it.

Check it out: “They Lie in Wait”

Thanks!!

I looked at your story list, and your scores are incredibly good for the first twelve. You have red H's on all of them. You must be doing something right. And yet you are thinking of rewriting a story with a 4.53 score? Do you know hard it usually is to get a score that high on anything?

 

[AG31]

Hey friends! I just published a new noncon story a few days ago and noticed that it hasn’t rated as well as my others. Would love some feedback and constructive criticism with the thought of going back and rewriting it.

Check it out: “They Lie in Wait”

Thanks!!

It's interesting how similar this thread is to another one posted today or last night. Maybe it's just the moon and people aren't so much in the mood of rating harsh stories.

 

[VerbalAbuse]

I looked at your story list, and your scores are incredibly good for the first twelve. You have red H's on all of them. You must be doing something right. And yet you are thinking of rewriting a story with a 4.53 score? Do you know hard it usually is to get a score that high on anything?

I'd say it pretty easy. Go pandering full throttle.
What I still don't know is why that would be a worthy goal.

 

[gunhilltrain]

I'd say it pretty easy. Go pandering full throttle.
What I still don't know is why that would be a worthy goal.

The OP in her bio says that she is female. Anyway, I'm not accusing her of pandering. I don't know what her motives were. Some people just follow their muse and hit the Lit jackpot.

 

[VerbalAbuse]

The OP in her bio says that she is female. Anyway, I'm not accusing her of pandering. I don't know what her motives were. Some people just follow their muse and hit the Lit jackpot.

pandering is the sure method. one may get good scores with going that way.

 

[gunhilltrain]

pandering is the sure method. one may get good scores with going that way.

I'm sure that's true. As for myself, even after six years, I'm not exactly sure how to pander in many categories. Yeah, "just add plenty of sex scenes" is probably part of it. If you've seen my recent "complaint" in the Story Feedback forum, I managed to miss with a story anyway. I wasn't trying to pander, but I was still surprised at how decisively the readers mostly ignored it.

 

[VerbalAbuse]

I'm sure that's true. As for myself, even after six years, I'm not exactly sure how to pander in many categories. Yeah, "just add plenty of sex scenes" is probably part of it. If you've seen my recent "complaint" in the Story Feedback forum, I managed to miss with a story anyway. I wasn't trying to pander, but I was still surprised at how decisively the readers mostly ignored it.

the lit categories are too broad and badly drawn. If you look in the TS/CD or Fetish grouping, you'll notice that most stories fall into one of several natural categories. Like (forced) feminization, femdom/cuckold. Read the stories with high ratings and you'll see they're much alike. Obviously, the categories keep splitting and dividing. Generally, short stories that give it thick are a safer bet. Somebody said on the forum that readers like to have their fantasy recited back to them. It's depressing how few are these fantasies that they care about.

 

[gunhilltrain]

the lit categories are too broad and badly drawn. If you look in the TS/CD or Fetish grouping, you'll notice that most stories fall into one of several natural categories. Like (forced) feminization, femdom/cuckold. Read the stories with high ratings and you'll see they're much alike. Obviously, the categories keep splitting and dividing. Generally, short stories that give it thick are a safer bet. Somebody said on the forum that readers like to have their fantasy recited back to them. It's depressing how few are these fantasies that they care about.

Here's what another site has that Lit doesn't (I think!). Bi-sexual, College Sex, Facesitting, Hard Core (however that is defined), Historical, Medical (yeah, my cardiologist is a real stud), Money, Monster Sex, Office Sex, Occupations, Oral Sex, Outdoor, Quickie Sex, Steampunk (no Dieselpunk yet), Seduction, Strap-ons, Teen (their minimum age is 16, not 18), Threesomes, Uniform (sexy Department of Sanitation people). Spanking is separated out from their BDSM and Cross-Dressing from their Transsexual.

Our LW is replaced with Cheating (males too!), Cuckold, and Wife Lovers. The rest of their categories mostly overlap with Lit's. No Non-Erotic or Reviews and Essays is available, however.

How does that sound?

 

[AwkwardlySet]

Facesitting is a category for itself?! Fuck, there must be some serious femdom crowd there You gotta tell me which website that is

 

[lovecraft68]

Facesitting is a category for itself?! Fuck, there must be some serious femdom crowd there You gotta tell me which website that is

That is getting pretty damn specific.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

I am fully aware of the rules, as little as they truly matter here, but people mentioned AO3 or SOL in some AH threads before and I have never seen anyone get a warning for that.
Although I meant it mostly as a joke, to be honest. There aren't many erotic story sites that matter, sadly.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Facesitting is a category for itself?! Fuck, there must be some serious femdom crowd there You gotta tell me which website that is

I'll send you a PM tomorrow; I already owe one to somebody else on the same topic. I might even give you my user-name over there, but I have to think about it. Overall. the tone of the writing there is not that much different from Lit.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I am fully aware of the rules, as little as they truly matter here, but people mentioned AO3 or SOL in some AH threads before and I have never seen anyone get a warning for that.
Although I meant it mostly as a joke, to be honest. There aren't many erotic story sites that matter, sadly.

It's when someone links off to a story on those other sites that Lit has a problem. Naming them is like naming Maccas or Starbucks, no-one cares.