Review: Stories by RedLegoDragon

[Facenel]

Seriously there is a single subreddit for that? The internet is full of surprises.

Ha there is a subreddit for everything at this rate!

I know imagined Erin taking an extra time with Kyle to check if every sexual deed she read about is true or not.

Ohh yeah, I imagine that some of them would be eager to try out stuff like this.

How about her having belly muscles? RLD girls tend to have those.

Depends mainly on 3 things;
1) how much they involuntary flex their muscles during sex.
2) how strong are their abs/belly muscles. Though you would need an almost bodybuilder type core for no bulge to show up with cocks that are 9 inches big
3) the size of the mans dick. But this part is that would enable it to be possible considering the sizes of RLD his male characters.
If the girls are basically flexing their abs/core all the time and they are a light bodybuilder at least then the bulge won't show up. But assuming they are not, and the guys are all 8 and above in length with around 5 in girth, it is very much possible with right positions and technique. Some of the biggest guys, like 10 inches, would have little problems pulling this of even in some more vanilla positions.

 

[RedLegoDragon]

But you still need a certain amount of factors to make it work.
1) Dick needs to be big enough; not only in length but also in girth. But RLD male characters hit that threshold with ease.
2) The girl needs to be quite skinny, though not malnourished.
3) The position of penetration. If you are just doing regular missonairy the bulge won't show up, but if you adapt the angle so that the guy thrusts upwards at that angle a bulge can show up.

<looks at list of requirements, then looks at characters in Three's a Crowd>

Huh. Conveniently I've just started the main sex scene. Guess we're adding bulges folks!

I know imagined Erin taking an extra time with Kyle to check if every sexual deed she read about is true or not.

Erin made Kyle watch the porn she masturbated to and asked if he wanted to re-enact any of them.

How about her having belly muscles? RLD girls tend to have those.

I do have a thing for abs on a woman.

Depends mainly on 3 things;
1) how much they involuntary flex their muscles during sex.
2) how strong are their abs/belly muscles. Though you would need an almost bodybuilder type core for no bulge to show up with cocks that are 9 inches big
3) the size of the mans dick. But this part is that would enable it to be possible considering the sizes of RLD his male characters.
If the girls are basically flexing their abs/core all the time and they are a light bodybuilder at least then the bulge won't show up. But assuming they are not, and the guys are all 8 and above in length with around 5 in girth, it is very much possible with right positions and technique. Some of the biggest guys, like 10 inches, would have little problems pulling this of even in some more vanilla positions.

I'm going to keep all this for reference for future works.

 

[Facenel]

<looks at list of requirements, then looks at characters in Three's a Crowd>

Huh. Conveniently I've just started the main sex scene. Guess we're adding bulges folks!

Hah already looking forward to it, would be interesting to see who notices it first
And most definitely how you are going to play around with it

 

[DarkSollat]

Funny thing. I've recently learnt that human penis is shaped how it's shaped to slosh the rival's sperm out of vagina (and also that post-cum cockhead vulnerability's purpose is to not slosh out own sperm). And I though of Theo & Alexia's whole night of pregnancy-inducting sex, and how much Theo's sperm has been sloshed out with his dick during consecutive intercourses. Of course the man still cums buckets even for 10th time, but his first load was the biggest I believe.

 

[RedLegoDragon]

Funny thing. I've recently learnt that human penis is shaped how it's shaped to slosh the rival's sperm out of vagina (and also that post-cum cockhead vulnerability's purpose is to not slosh out own sperm). And I though of Theo & Alexia's whole night of pregnancy-inducting sex, and how much Theo's sperm has been sloshed out with his dick during consecutive intercourses. Of course the man still cums buckets even for 10th time, but his first load was the biggest I believe.

I don't know if anyone was there with a measuring jug, but it's probably a safe bet to say the ejaculation with an almost-page-long-description was fairly big in volume.

Surprising Alexa didn't cumsplode.

 

[DarkSollat]

My hormones calmed down lately, so I haven't spotted either @RedLegoDragon 's new story or his DM that he posted it. But I'm finally aware, so I'm here with the review of Ayesha's Valentines Marathon.

When I read the pre-note, I thought it would be 5 pages sex montage only; as you know I love sex montages, but I also love RLD's stories-stories, so I felt conflicted. Luckily, I was wrong and there's both enough storytelling and sex montages here to satisfy all my needs.

I was also kind of surprised reading that Yusuf had some plans for valentines with Ayesha, given how he always negleted her - but it of course proved to be otherwise. Or was it? I like to think that it was - poorly executed, yes - but still an attempt from Yusuf to include his wive into his life. But this is classic me - I always feel more connected to cheatee (is that a correct word?) than cheaters, and have nothing but a sympathy for them (not because of any personal experience - never been cheated on, also because there was never anyone who could cheat on me).

I must also make one thing perfectly clear: I completely hate that Logan fucks Ayesha. With how he was described as not going for taken woman plus how much effeort he made to not have sex with Zehra, plus how much of a connection he needed to finally succumb to lust for her, it's completely out of character for him to pursue other women. Even the facts that he was one of the best fucks in the story, and that Adrian knows about his fling with Zehra (what I deem a proper course of action) don't lower my dissatisfaction.

The rest of the scenes are good and diverse, so every sex scene here feels unique. From quick fling with Kyle, to much longer with Theo, to hours long tree-fuck with Zane, to sweet lovemaking with Richard, to quite a romantic encounter with Brad - all of it delivered. It was also nice to read first-ever vaginal oral, it was greatly missed (clearly male pov fault).

Also, Zane finally made a full apperance, and his cryptic words promises some messed up storyline later - interesting. I'm also glad for Ewa's engagement, it warms my Polish heart. On the other hand, so many people know about Ayesha's cheating life that it becomes completely unbeliveable that no one told Yusuf yet; but given how many cucks are in Eroshire now, he could enjoy that.

And of course I can't forget about salt caramel sperm sorbet. It was so wrong and so discusting. Giggled like crazy reading it.

Also, who's the cutest Eroshire couple, if Erin and Peter are the second?

 

[RedLegoDragon]

My hormones calmed down lately, so I haven't spotted either @RedLegoDragon 's new story or his DM that he posted it.

I do wonder sometimes if Lit's announcement system bugs out. My favourites are always being told someone's commented on my story before the comment has actually been approved. That's not useful, Lit!

I was also kind of surprised reading that Yusuf had some plans for valentines with Ayesha, given how he always negleted her - but it of course proved to be otherwise. Or was it?

I do feel a little bad for being so mean to Yusuf. I want to do some character development with him, I'm just not sure what yet. He's on my shelf of characters to do something with once most of the major storylines have been done.

I must also make one thing perfectly clear: I completely hate that Logan fucks Ayesha.

I thought this would be an unpopular choice. I briefly considered creating an entirely new character, but settled on Logan to show that Nice Guy Logan was (maybe unfortunately) being finally corrupted by Eroshire. In his defence though I do mention it was Ayesha who made all the moves (probably helped by Zane on the occasions when he, for whatever mysterious reason, couldn't make the personal trainer appointments and asked Logan to help out).

Also I apologise for having Adrian find out about Logan and Zehra off-page: a narrative casualty of having this story set some two years after TOC so it didn't conflict too much with the tangle that is GN/AFO/Three's a Crowd/Twin Trouble/Get Cucked! (which all happen in the span of one year). I'm writing that story now. It'll be my next short.

The rest of the scenes are good and diverse, so every sex scene here feels unique. From quick fling with Kyle, to much longer with Theo, to hours long tree-fuck with Zane, to sweet lovemaking with Richard, to quite a romantic encounter with Brad - all of it delivered. It was also nice to read first-ever vaginal oral, it was greatly missed (clearly male pov fault).

Thank you! I wanted to give each coupling its own aura. From Kyle (quick, brash, not as incredible as Kyle probably thinks he is) to Richard (full of passion for what could have been) to Zane (just endless orgasms - wonder who's the King of Eroshire?). Brad's was written to be sweet - he's a young lad so romance doesn't come easily to him, but he is strangely a romantic type of guy beneath all that womanizing exterior. I want to make to clear though that Brad isn't in love with Ayesha; they're just really good friends... with benefits. He just finds her life sad (or found it sad when they first hooked up) and is the main encouragement for her to go out and enjoy life (including having lots of sex).

Also I'll try and have more cunnilingus in future stories. It's only fair with all the blowjobs been given around.

Also, Zane finally made a full apperance, and his cryptic words promises some messed up storyline later - interesting. I'm also glad for Ewa's engagement, it warms my Polish heart. On the other hand, so many people know about Ayesha's cheating life that it becomes completely unbeliveable that no one told Yusuf yet; but given how many cucks are in Eroshire now, he could enjoy that.

Glad you liked Zane. Him and the reason why so much crazy sex can happen with no one finding out will be explained when I start getting weird with Eroshire stories. So far they've been mostly kept realistic (not including the sex), but I have plans to start involving some supernatural and out of this world stuff eventually. I just want to slowly introduce crazy stuff so this all doesn't take a massive left turn in WTF-ville.

Also Ewa will have her own story sometime! Promise!

And of course I can't forget about salt caramel sperm sorbet. It was so wrong and so discusting. Giggled like crazy reading it.

I like to think the admin looked at the 'cum sorbet' tag, rolled their eyes, and decided that was the third strangest thing they've ever approved on Lit (I'll let you imagine what the first two could be).

Also, who's the cutest Eroshire couple, if Erin and Peter are the second?

That'll be a spoiler.

 

[DarkSollat]

I do wonder sometimes if Lit's announcement system bugs out. My favourites are always being told someone's commented on my story before the comment has actually been approved. That's not useful, Lit!

That's not it, because I don't use notifications Or maybe I use, but I don't check my nsfw mailbox.

settled on Logan to show that Nice Guy Logan was (maybe unfortunately) being finally corrupted by Eroshire

I preferred him to be a dimmed light than a complete darkness.

Brad's was written to be sweet - he's a young lad so romance doesn't come easily to him, but he is strangely a romantic type of guy beneath all that womanizing exterior. I want to make to clear though that Brad isn't in love with Ayesha; they're just really good friends... with benefits. He just finds her life sad (or found it sad when they first hooked up) and is the main encouragement for her to go out and enjoy life (including having lots of sex).

And you succeeded.

 

[djrip]

This one sounds great! Would you say, Red, that your stories should be read in release order? Or it doesn't matter? They sound pretty interconnected, which makes me think the former.

 

[RedLegoDragon]

This one sounds great! Would you say, Red, that your stories should be read in release order? Or it doesn't matter? They sound pretty interconnected, which makes me think the former.

Well I try to write them so it doesn't matter what order you read my stories. So far each main story introduces a new cast of characters who get proper introductions within that story. Old characters pop up but mostly in supporting roles (such as Kyle in A Fertile Opportunity) or cameos (such as Erin in Games Night). When that happens I don't expect you to have read A Sordid Arrangement beforehand; if you have you know who Kyle and Erin are, but you haven't then you'll know them as Alexa's younger brother and Logan's friend from D&D instead. That's totally fine; it'll just make it even more awesome when you read A Sordid Arrangement afterwards and be like "oh I know these two!"

Ayesha's Valentines Marathon is a little different, because it does assume you've read That Old Comeback at least. It's the first 'Eroshire short' so I'm still experimenting with the format. Going forward if I feel reading a previous story is necessary to understand the plot I'll include in the 'Author's Notes' section. Or at least call it out if I feel it'll add a lot of clarity (which I feel I might have to do with Get Cucked!, which will be my first direct sequel; to A Sordid Arrangement, no less).

As a final note the release order isn't the chronological order: That Old Comeback happens before A Sordid Arrangement, for example, while the last part (the birth of Alexa's child) of A Fertile Opportunity is so far the furthest we've gone in the timeline (it happens even after Ayesha's Valentines Marathon, which is set two years after TOC). I'm hoping the timeline won't be important to anyone but me!

 

[djrip]

A very thorough answer as usual! I like the sound of that level of Easter egg like interconnection.

I wouldn't expect to always have release order match chronological, but I would expect it to necessarily be an acceptable reading order, which is why I asked it that way. When they don't match, you get into thorny issues like the Star Wars watch order debate...

 

[RedLegoDragon]

I wouldn't expect to always have release order match chronological, but I would expect it to necessarily be an acceptable reading order, which is why I asked it that way.

One idea I'm toying with is eventually, at some point in the far future, using Lit's series editor to group main stories together when they make obvious arcs. For example: A Sordid Arrangement, Get Cucked! and a third story (that I've tentatively titled One Night on my drive) make up the Kyle/Erin/Peter arc. I've got a sequel planned to A Fertile Opportunity that would serve the Alexa arc. If you've ever read Discworld then a big series made up of smaller interconnected storylines would be familiar.

This is all way down the line though. I don't reckon I need to start worrying about this until 2025.

When they don't match, you get into thorny issues like the Star Wars watch order debate...

I'm more of a 4-5-6-then-watch-something else fan.

 

[Facenel]

Sollat already gave a perfect review in my opinion.

Though I want to add one thing: I love that you added the stomach bulge/distension thing to your story! That was so hot, thank you for adding it!

 

[RedLegoDragon]

Though I want to add one thing: I love that you added the stomach bulge/distension thing to your story! That was so hot, thank you for adding it!

No problem! Always happy to try something new in my stories.

 

[djrip]

A Sordid Arrangement - @RedLegoDragon


As I said in my comment on the story, this was exhausting! Wow. Yes, there was a degree of repetition. Certain beats were hit again and again, like the base track in a song, keeping the whole thing on track while the other instruments do their thing. "Doing this for Peter." Beat. "So much bigger than her boyfriend. And thicker!" Beat. "She was cheating on her loving boyfriend of some five years, without protection!" Every few minutes, one of these reminders pops back up again, amid the swirling activity, to ground things. Bring you back to the stakes of the thing.

And overall, what impressed me was the way the repetition faded into the background and did not feel overly repetitive. Instead it felt like, to continue the metaphor, how themes in music re-emerge in different parts of the work, in slightly different forms, bubbling up to the surface again and again, relating the different parts of the song to each other.

There may have been 10 pages of unbroken fucking, but there was at every moment a structure to it. It was a battle of wills. Each new orgasm was a play in a strategy game. Each new position was a tactical move. It had a purpose, a goal. The characters had a goal at each point in time, though those goals changed over the course of the story, and the narrative also had a goal with each segment of the encounter. We go from Erin doing it for Peter, to admitting she wants it for herself. We go from Kyle primarily wanting to fuck her to make the conquest and get her addicted to his dick, like all the other girls, to Kyle being the one who is addicted to her pussy, desperate to impress her because she's blown him away. It's impressive how there are just so many instances of fucking in that one long session, and each one was a step in plot, each one moved the characters forward, they had changing motivation as they want on. At each point in the session there was a sense of what was motivating them at that moment, and it would then change when she shifted more toward being into it, or he would throw a barb and get her pissed off again. Not to mention her Dr Jeckel Mr Hyde thing with horny Erin; I love the way she gets consumed with desire as she approaches and crests each orgasm, and then goes back to "Fuck you Kyle" right after, only to slip right back into being horny Erin a minute later.

But the moments of humorous interaction really did it for me.

"No one can steal me."
LOL This is great.

"She thought of using her tongue but knew Peter didn't like that."
This fuckin guy, come on bro.

"At six inches Peter wasn't the biggest, when compared to the big seven to eight inch monsters she had seen in porn, but she reminded herself that didn't matter."
I'm dying.

"No, it wasn't Peter's fault. It wasn't his fault he wasn't big enough. This wasn't porn; she was fucking a normal man. Be satisfied with what you have, she told herself."
Jesus, this is so depressing!

Oh god, even his ropes of cum are so small and weakly pathetic... Only a half dozen splurts I can't take it

She's fucking him too rough, I can't handle this guy. I love it.

"Hated how she couldn't stop thinking about him, his smile, his looks, his gorgeous body."
I love how much she hates Kyle here; reminds me of Anna Kendrick in Pitch Perfect trying to insult the bombshell lead singer of Das Sound Machine with "You are physically flawless... but it doesn't mean I like you." "Your sweat smells like cinnamon."

Aww, she'll do anything for Peter, that's sweet of her.

It's great fun watching her gradually shift from "I'll do anything for Peter, even fuck this gorgeous hunk even though I hate him and I can't stop thinking about him" to "Oh fuck it, I need this cock that's so much bigger and better than my boyfriend's"

"Her tits heaving with how angry she was" this is great

oh, mysterious, one year ago today, the best fuck he ever had...

Is there a prequel trilogy hiding in here?

Ah, orgasm strategy... Gotta make her cum before he does... this is going to be close, folks... and he made it! yes! First of many. This first one takes so long, but then they start going off like fireworks. And I gotta thank the author for these little mile markers that are sprinkled through the later parts of the narrative, like "She couldn't believe he could still cum so much after filling her mouth and pussy twice each! This was his fifth orgasm and Kyle was still filling her with far more cum than Peter ever could!" Because I sure couldn't keep track of where we were in the orgasm count by then! Goddamn!

And then he goes for the second blackmail, oh man. I'd be terrified in his position right then. No penile fractures for me, thank you. Nope nope nope

"JESUS, ERIN!" He gasped again. "SLOW DOWN! FUCK!"

She fucking turned him into Peter!

No, not quite. But she turned him, for sure. She may not have broken his penis, but she broke him like a wild horse. He's hers, now. Great story, incredible.

 

[DarkSollat]

Very interesting review @djrip !

"JESUS, ERIN!" He gasped again. "SLOW DOWN! FUCK!"

She fucking turned him into Peter!

OMG, you're right!

 

[DarkSollat]

Now I'm sure Erin probably plays a barbarian in D&D. She's quite capable in normal state but when things go awry she RAGES and destroys everything.

I have now a scene in mind. Erin and Alexa decide to see who of them is better cowgirl and Erin is losing. Then she stops riding for a moment, takes a deep breath, concentrade and suddently becoming a force of nature, making the man cum and literally drains him empty. She then leaves a room as a winner, saying "next time, find me a better man".

 

[RedLegoDragon]

Thank you for that amazing review @djrip !

And overall, what impressed me was the way the repetition faded into the background and did not feel overly repetitive. Instead it felt like, to continue the metaphor, how themes in music re-emerge in different parts of the work, in slightly different forms, bubbling up to the surface again and again, relating the different parts of the song to each other.

That's a really interesting way of looking at it! I made a comment on @The_shadow_rising 's subreddit a while back comparing writing sex to writing music - structure, flow, tempo, etc. - so it's interesting hearing you made a similar connection.

There may have been 10 pages of unbroken fucking, but there was at every moment a structure to it.

When I started writing erotica I made a rule for myself that the sex in my stories should change something between two (or more) people: what they were to each other before fucking would not be the same thing after they fucked, and the transition should be observable as they fuck. In this case, as you noticed, there's two journeys here in Erin and Kyle's romp: Erin's journey to accepting her high sex drive as a part of herself, and in a way perhaps detaching sex from her relationship with Peter; and Kyle's journey from wanting to conquer Erin because she had the audacity to refute his advances when few other women had, to wanted to have sex with her because she is that good (and perhaps reminds him of an earlier flame...)

Is there a prequel trilogy hiding in here?

Just one story. No plans to write it this year.

"JESUS, ERIN!" He gasped again. "SLOW DOWN! FUCK!"

She fucking turned him into Peter!

I'll be honest: I've no idea if this was intentional on my part! Looking back it seems obvious that this was a neat call-back to the earlier scene, but I might be giving Past RLD too much credit.

No, not quite. But she turned him, for sure. She may not have broken his penis, but she broke him like a wild horse. He's hers, now. Great story, incredible.

As Kyle puts it:

"God, Erin... I've wanted you so badly," he said, staring into her eyes with so much lust, such need for her that Erin felt lost in those bright blue eyes of his. "All I've thought about the last few weeks is you. Every girl I've been with I've wanted to be you. I need you. Jesus, Erin: what have you done to me?"

Now I'm sure Erin probably plays a barbarian in D&D. She's quite capable in normal state but when things go awry she RAGES and destroys everything.

That's too fucking perfect!

 

[DarkSollat]

A new story from @RedLegoDragon is up! Three's a Crowd has been released this morning but I've already read it - and here's my review. But be warned: it's not spoiler free.

RLD announced three big stories for this year, and for this one I was the least excited. I mean, how simple love triangle could compete with FMF with twincest or the next chapter of Erin's (from A Sordid Arrangement) arc? But I was mistaken. Both about it being a love triangle, and about being simple. Because the story here... the story here is exceptional. Truly. I mean, stories this good shouldn't be on Literotica. They belong to Oscar gala. Well, almost.

Because everything that happens before the main sex scene is exceptional. We have a set of life-like characters, and the dark, twisted story of real abuse. And it's all very belivable, I have no problem buying it, and it pushed my emotional boundaries like only a handful of works before (and none of them were written by amateur author). But then comes the main sex scene - and then my suspension of disbelief snapped. I can't believe that two people who deeply love and care for each other would be able to have hot, lustful sex immediately after one of them had been violated in front of the other. They could spend this night together, they could be intimate with each other (their conversations would fit much better then)... but I'm not buying that they have cheerfull, passionate sex romp right after something like that. I think the sex romp could happen later in the story - after the revenge - and it would still fit.

It doesn't mean that the sex isn't good here - because it is. It's RLD after all, we all know he's good at it. Writing sex, I mean. But in real life sex, surely too. Erkhm, mhm, anyway. I very much like how much connection is shown between Dani and Gareth here (to the point that when the cheating happening all over Eroshire was mentioned, I got angry that it interrupts such a sweet moment), which doesn't mean though that they don't fuck like a wild rabbits - they're as much lusty and horny as any other RLD couple. Gareth is also shown to have dick control and load size greater than Logan and Theo, respectively - and manages to do that with dick 'barely' 8 inches long (what is lampshaded in the story). What's also quite unexpected is that he really likes Dani's fake tits - I can't agree with him on this one, but it was very sweet. (Also, @rld, why do you hate blondes? Every one of your FMC were brunettes [Alexa's dyed, so deosn't count].)

Beside the main sex scene, there's of course a montage - or even better, montages! (one of them happens practically at the very beginning, which made me hooked af- until I learned what lies beneath) - and shorter scenes (incl interludes with other couples having sex in adjacent rooms - very nice they were). And those scenes happening between Jake and Dani after she found out who he is served a great deal in making me understand her character more deeply - because the same as she, I was enjoying them even if I knew how wrong they were. Exceptional work, mate, exceptional.

Back to the story, after the main sex scene it becomes somewhat lighter and ends first in well-deserved revenge, and next in well-deserved happy ending. This allowed also for some character - namely Theo, Alexa and even Jake - to show some redeeming qualities (although I still think all three of them are evil - just not purely evil). Although, two motifs I didn't like here were 1) a mention how Dani and Gareth had practically constant sex when they started living together (come on, they were in love, I'm sure they have other things to do as well! they talking about their arts, their dreams and such would show how different their relationship was compared to the one with Jake) and 2) that their frequent threesomes with Cathy were only mentioned and not described in great details. I want that short story, mate! But I shed a tear when reading about mother-daughter reunion, so you're already forgiven.

To summarize, Three's a Crowd is a really great story, which major flaw is that this is erotic story and it breaks suspension of disbelief in one point. I advise all to read it, but if you're interested in sex only, go to page 10 right away - because if you won't do that, you'll found yourself emotionally invested (and maybe emotionally damaged - RLD wasn't joking with the warning).

P.S. I don't know if RLD knows that, but human penis is shaped the way it is shaped... to slosh a rival's sperm out of partner's pussy - what Gareth specifically does in the story. Also, cockhead vulnerability after cumming serves the purpose to not slosh own sperm the same way - but that part is ommited in the story.

 

[RedLegoDragon]

Three's a Crowd has been released this morning but I've already read it - and here's my review.

I am astounded you wrote this review so fast - in the best way, of course!

I'm embarrassed it's taking me so long to write reviews about @The_shadow_rising's work...

But then comes the main sex scene - and then my suspension of disbelief snapped. I can't believe that two people who deeply love and care for each other would be able to have hot, lustful sex immediately after one of them had been violated in front of the other.

Yeah... I knew when I was writing it that that scene would be controversial. For a long while I thought about dropping the whole insomnia plotline with Dani and have Jake awake through that whole scene. I decided against it in the end because I didn't want Dani and Gareth's first time to also be Dani's revenge fuck against Jake, but I'm still not 100% convinced I made the right call in the end.

Also, why do you hate blondes? Every one of your FMC were brunettes [Alexa's dyed, so deosn't count].

Unless I fucked up with her character description somewhere Alexa's a natural blonde (like her brother). She will eventually dye her hair brown for A Fertile Competition (tentatively scheduled for next year). Because yes: I hate blondes. Vile creatures! Vile, I say!

I jest. I have no problem with blondes. There'll be plenty of blondes in my next story to make up for the lack of blondes featuring in prominent roles. We'll have blonde twins! And Get Cucked! will have Kyle: he's blonde!

Beside the main sex scene, there's of course a montage - or even better, montages! (one of them happens practically at the very beginning, which made me hooked af- until I learned what lies beneath) - and shorter scenes (incl interludes with other couples having sex in adjacent rooms - very nice they were). And those scenes happening between Jake and Dani after she found out who he is served a great deal in making me understand her character more deeply - because the same as she, I was enjoying them even if I knew how wrong they were. Exceptional work, mate, exceptional.

I might be montaged out. I don't plan for Twin Trouble to have a montage, but I do plan for it to have as much sex-per-page as A Sordid Arrangement.

Back to the story, after the main sex scene it becomes somewhat lighter and ends first in well-deserved revenge, and next in well-deserved happy ending. This allowed also for some character - namely Theo, Alexa and even Jake - to show some redeeming qualities (although I still think all three of them are evil - just not purely evil).

Poor Theo and Alexa! They can't help being total sluts!

Glad you liked Jake: I have more planned for him later. As Haley said: stories always continue.

Although, two motifs I didn't like here were 1) a mention how Dani and Gareth had practically constant sex when they started living together..

OK, I might have forgotten to mention that they do also go to work and have chill, fun times in the office. It's just when they go back to the house with Gareth's alumni friends that they can't keep their hands off each other.

They won't have time for much sex with a kid on the way (and Chloe will eventually move in with them).

2) that their frequent threesomes with Cathy were only mentioned and not described in great details. I want that short story, mate!

I'll add it to the growing list of shorts.

But I shed a tear when reading about mother-daughter reunion, so you're already forgiven.

Weren't expecting my shitty erotica to hit you in the feels, did you?

To summarize, Three's a Crowd is a really great story, which major flaw is that this is erotic story and it breaks suspension of disbelief in one point. I advise all to read it, but if you're interested in sex only, go to page 10 right away - because if you won't do that, you'll found yourself emotionally invested (and maybe emotionally damaged - RLD wasn't joking with the warning).

Thanks! And thank you for the review!

 

[DarkSollat]

Yeah... I knew when I was writing it that that scene would be controversial. For a long while I thought about dropping the whole insomnia plotline with Dani and have Jake awake through that whole scene. I decided against it in the end because I didn't want Dani and Gareth's first time to also be Dani's revenge fuck against Jake, but I'm still not 100% convinced I made the right call in the end.

Maybe I explained myself poorly, but I have nothing about insomnia arc. Quite contrary - I like that piils used villainously by Kyle and Erin served greater purpose here.
I meant that the scene when Dani was violated by Jake shouldn't be followed by Dani having sex with Gareth. I imagine Gareth consoling her when she cries, or something like that. It would also feel more natural if she shared news about Chloe with him during such a moment instead when they were fucking wild.
But of course, to each their own.

Unless I fucked up with her character description somewhere Alexa's a natural blonde (like her brother). She will eventually dye her hair brown for A Fertile Competition (tentatively scheduled for next year).

Maybe I fucked up with reading, because I were 100% sure she has been dying her hair blonde. But still - she's a slut, I want my blonde to be positive character xD

I jest. I have no problem with blondes. There'll be plenty of blondes in my next story to make up for the lack of blondes featuring in prominent roles. We'll have blonde twins! And Get Cucked! will have Kyle: he's blonde!

Ok, but if you expect me to wank for Kyle, I have to disappoint you.

Glad you liked Jake: I have more planned for him later. As Haley said: stories always continue.

I didn't like-like Jake, but he's a great villain. Just, him helping Dani with Chloe was... unexpected, and it's interesting when this came from. Also, I have to say that Jake being tricked by Dani after he proved to be such a clever mastermind feels kind of weird. But, pride walks before the fall, so that may be to blame.

I'll add it to the growing list of shorts.

Also, I'd like to use the occassion to praise you for including the fbrief lesbian scene. Although, Harvinder?

Weren't expecting my shitty erotica to hit you in the feels, did you?

Weren't. Although you know my strong feelings for Erin and Logan, right? But that story definitively hit differently.

 

[RedLegoDragon]

Maybe I explained myself poorly, but I have nothing about insomnia arc. Quite contrary - I like that piils used villainously by Kyle and Erin served greater purpose here.

That was the intent, although I feel I should sleep on the sleeping pills for a while now (they've been used a lot recently!)

I meant that the scene when Dani was violated by Jake shouldn't be followed by Dani having sex with Gareth. I imagine Gareth consoling her when she cries, or something like that. It would also feel more natural if she shared news about Chloe with him during such a moment instead when they were fucking wild.

The intent was to give Dani agency in her story, and make her an active, aggressive character which contrasts with the cheerful, sweet personality she shows most people. Jake becomes a living metaphor for Dani's addiction and dependency issues, which may raise questions regarding whether her relationship with Gareth is her breaking free of Jake or swapping one addiction for another.

Ok, but if you expect me to wank for Kyle, I have to disappoint you.

In the end we all wank for Kyle.

I didn't like-like Jake, but he's a great villain. Just, him helping Dani with Chloe was... unexpected, and it's interesting when this came from. Also, I have to say that Jake being tricked by Dani after he proved to be such a clever mastermind feels kind of weird. But, pride walks before the fall, so that may be to blame.

I like to think he severely underestimated Dani. Which is probably why he does help her with Chloe in the end. Maybe he genuinely loves her? Can Jake feel love?

Also, I'd like to use the occassion to praise you for including the fbrief lesbian scene. Although, Harvinder?

I worked with a girl named Harvinder.

Weren't. Although you know my strong feelings for Erin and Logan, right? But that story definitively hit differently.

You have Q2 to recover, before I punch you in the feels again with Get Cucked!

 

[DarkSollat]

The intent was to give Dani agency in her story, and make her an active, aggressive character which contrasts with the cheerful, sweet personality she shows most people.

Oh, about that. I really enjoyed how she tricket him with handcuffs. It was foreshadowed perfectly with the memory of Derek Newell! The whole segment with Brad's dad was hilarious, it shows what kind of person Dani was and also shed new light on his and Zehra's meeting in GN. And Zehra's cameo in TaC was great as well! The only thing which could make it better if she appeared in a room with chained Jake and beat some shit out of him.

which may raise questions regarding whether her relationship with Gareth is her breaking free of Jake or swapping one addiction for another

Those question appeared in her mind, true. But I wish her best!
On similar note, I've been wondering if some of Jake's insults toward Gareth were true.

I like to think he severely underestimated Dani. Which is probably why he does help her with Chloe in the end. Maybe he genuinely loves her? Can Jake feel love?

I don't know. But I must believe people can change. Even people like him.

I worked with a girl named Harvinder.

And together you two worked with a girl named Sarah?

Also! I loved more dips into Eroshire's supernatural elements. Those lights* in Millers' house, Matt dating an alien, Haley's whole character. Although I didn't suspect you would write yourself as a girl.
*i didn't catch that... but were they some weird lights in the house? I though it's only ordinary light, but by when talking with Theo Dani thinks that some of it was unnatural.

 

[RedLegoDragon]

Also! I loved more dips into Eroshire's supernatural elements. Those lights* in Millers' house, Matt dating an alien, Haley's whole character. Although I didn't suspect you would write yourself as a girl.
*i didn't catch that... but were they some weird lights in the house? I though it's only ordinary light, but by when talking with Theo Dani thinks that some of it was unnatural.

Don't want to spoil too much about the weirder stuff happening in Eroshire but there's a reason Dani got a similar strange sense of vertigo when talking to the mysterious new barmaid that she got when looking at the Miller house when looking at it from Jake's bedroom window. Only Theo insists that the house is empty now, so what's up with this 'cousin' of his?

As for Matt... well Gareth, Harry and Cathy entertain his stories, but they don't believe him.

 

[DarkSollat]

TBH I'm not really excited for this one, as MFM threesomes aren't something I greatly enjoy. However, I don't say "no" upfront and will definitively check - even if the sex won't be good, I'm sure Dragon would provide some fun build up and banter. I also wonder if Zehra would be somewhat engaged - like her stories inspiring Dani to cheating (kind of like with Erin and Angie).

I've reread my old post here and I find hilarious that I thought Three's a Crowd would be a threesome story. It was so much better the way it was!