Respectful questions for cuckold relationship people

[montanaboy12]

Hi there! I know there is a wide array of sexual ideas/behaviors/stuff on here. I keep coming back to the cuckold relationship. Can I respectfully ask a couple questions to help me understand better?
I get wife swapping, swinging, open marriage, I even get the “wife lovers” thing intellectually, but my question is for the other cuck relationships.
-The main thing that is difficult for me is the humiliation aspect. So I ask, is the humiliation a sexual turn on? For me, I can’t imagine the person who is supposed to love and cherish me the most in the world talking badly about my cock size or my ability as a lover. It would crush me. (No judgment here just genuinely curious). Is it a turn on? What about the rest of life—is she only like that in sexual situations (or he in the reverse) or is it all the time? What about if you have kids? Do they know what’s going on (I mean like is mommy dominant all the time)? I genuinely want to know what’s in it for the cuck? Again I get the wife sharing wife lovers thing intellectually because the man is involved, present, and there is often reclaiming etc. But i would love to hear why being a cuck is great—why it enhances your relationship or you or whatever. Again, I am not judging or being mean, I simply truly don’t understand and would love some insight! Thank you!

 

[AnnieLit]

I don't think anybody's answer will make much sense to you as you already said all the right words right in your post. If you have to ask why, it's not for you.

Can everyone understand why receiving pain in the sexual context can be a good thing? No.
Can everyone understand why delivering pain in the sexual context can be good? No.
Can everyone understand why swinging is ok for some couples? No.
Why giving up control is good?
Why being taken by force (I am talking about CNC, not a rape) is good?
Etc.

Basically, every kink breaks some sort of taboo or social norm, that's why it's a kink. Some people are open to breaking it, others are not. It's not that they are better or worse in any way, they are just wired differently.

 

[neci]

all of the cuckolds post in the author‘s hangout. you should try this thread over there.

authors hangout

 

[Saint_Ann]

all of the cuckolds post in the author‘s hangout. you should try this thread over there.

authors hangout

That explains a lot.

 

[Lifestyle66]

Hi there! I know there is a wide array of sexual ideas/behaviors/stuff on here. I keep coming back to the cuckold relationship. Can I respectfully ask a couple questions to help me understand better?
I get wife swapping, swinging, open marriage, I even get the “wife lovers” thing intellectually, but my question is for the other cuck relationships.
-The main thing that is difficult for me is the humiliation aspect. So I ask, is the humiliation a sexual turn on? For me, I can’t imagine the person who is supposed to love and cherish me the most in the world talking badly about my cock size or my ability as a lover. It would crush me. (No judgment here just genuinely curious). Is it a turn on? What about the rest of life—is she only like that in sexual situations (or he in the reverse) or is it all the time? What about if you have kids? Do they know what’s going on (I mean like is mommy dominant all the time)? I genuinely want to know what’s in it for the cuck? Again I get the wife sharing wife lovers thing intellectually because the man is involved, present, and there is often reclaiming etc. But i would love to hear why being a cuck is great—why it enhances your relationship or you or whatever. Again, I am not judging or being mean, I simply truly don’t understand and would love some insight! Thank you!

You apparently can't conceive of anyone else's kink as being acceptable, because you might think everyone was raised just like you.

In my past, I had friends who were mistreated at home. So, my knowledge of different upbringings gave me a wider view of WHY people might like different things. I can envision how if someone was beaten as a kid by a parent they wanted to please, they might grow to enjoy beatings.

So, when it comes to humiliation, I can envision how someone might have been humiliated repeatedly by someone they admired and grew to accept that as a means of positive (in their own mind) feedback.

EDIT: In my own stories, I write of a strong-willed, sex-positive wife in a swinger relationship. But I can understand how some Loving Wives readers might have had a cheating wife and hate such a swinger relationship. It doesn't matter that the husband and wife enjoy themselves and have a balanced sharing relationship. The fact the reader had a cheating wife means they can't like it.

 

[AnnieLit]

In my past, I had friends who were mistreated at home. So, my knowledge of different upbringings gave me a wider view of WHY people might like different things. I can envision how if someone was beaten as a kid by a parent they wanted to please, they might grow to enjoy beatings.

This is only one possible explanation. Nobody ever laid a finger on my husband when he was growing up. And yet he dreamed about being spanked by his babysitter from about 5 or 6 years old. She never did it, but he knew that it was a thing from books and films about kids and had a strong desire for it. Why? Because he was born this way. Much later it turned into a desire for spanking in the sexual contex, but at first he didn't even know what sex is, he just wanted the whole child spanking package, the humiliation, the pain, all of it.

Connecting sexual preferences to the upbringing is probably no more valid than saying that such-and-such grew up to be gay because he went to an all boys school. Or because he saw a gay show once at a tender age of five. Ot because he had a gay friend and was seduced. Good luck seducing a 100% straight man

 

[Lifestyle66]

I'm not sure what you are responding to... but it damn sure wasn't what the guy actually said.

The OP said:
"I keep coming back to the cuckold relationship. ....
Again, I am not judging or being mean, I simply truly don’t understand and would love some insight! Thank you!"


If someone can't understand another's lifestyle, it may be due to a lack of more diverse experiences or lack of listening to others when they tell of their past.

I'm not gay. But I won't say "I don't understand how another guy would be gay." There are those who say: "He was born that way." But not being born that way would imply I could never understand WHY he would be gay, because I just don't have that in my genetic code.

I prefer the explanation that beside a genetic coding of a different behavior, there are many others who experienced something at certain times in their life which might have a disproportionate impact shaping their attitudes. I'm not saying this had to be a bad experience, just different. Maybe some male figure in the younger man or boy's life held an attractive quality he found exciting.

I know one guy who enjoys being flogged. He goes to a BDSM club occasionally to be beaten by someone else. He doesn't explain WHY he enjoys it, but he does. And I understand it as just something buried in his past might have stimulated him at a crucial time to shape his personality. And before anyone bitches about me being judgmental or intolerant, or claim I think he should be "changed" or fixed". I don't judge him for what he likes, and I don't believe there's anything wrong with him. That's just who he is.

The only ones who need to be "fixed" are those whose fetish would harm other. Rapists or pedophiles would harm others, and that's just wrong. Those who feel a need to destroy another person or creature for their entertainment are dangerous.

So, when it comes to someone looking for the humiliation aspect of a cuckold relationship, in my experience, it's probably due to something in their past which shaped the way they think and shaped what excites them. And until the OP opens their mind to others' lives, they'll never understand that I think the way I do due to MY life experiences!

 

[Lifestyle66]

I'm really not interested in reading a long justification of your original blather. You keep answering questions nobody is asking.

Goodbye.

LOL. But you're not injecting shit when no one asked you for your blathering opinion.

 

[OverconfidentSarcasm]

LOL. But you're not injecting shit when no one asked you for your blathering opinion.

Well, to be fair... I also got the impression that you simply attacked OP instead of answering their question. Someone asks for insight in an attempt to understand, and your reaction was to basically call them an inexperienced and narrow-minded person because they don't unquestioningly accept other people's kinks. It felt... weird. As if you got the impression they were trying to voice their disgust at cuckolds, instead of simply asking how a sexual preference like that could possibly be formed.

Now, to address OP's question:

For me, I can’t imagine the person who is supposed to love and cherish me the most in the world talking badly about my cock size or my ability as a lover. It would crush me. (No judgment here just genuinely curious).

A similar question had been posted in the AH a few weeks back. I'm just gonna copy my answer from there:

I have, professionally, met quite a few psychologists, and asked them the same question because I, too, tried to understand it. Six out of Seven of them told me basically the same thing: It's about conditioning.

We have something in our brains they called "salience detectors", releasing dopamine in response to either pleasure or pain. Basically, our brains form connections, or “learn”, by associating impressions whenever the presence of dopamine indicates the occurrence of an event that must not be ignored. This way we learn: Being praised makes me feel good, so I should do more that earns me praise.

But we also know that protracted physical or emotional pain can trigger the release of endorphins which, in turn, activate dopamine-triggering neurons. The result is that there is an innate rewarding component to both pleasurable and painful experiences, regardless of them being physical or emotional.

Now, we simply don’t entirely understand how sexual kinks are formed in an individual, but the most accepted hypothesis for pleasure-pain-connections comes from studies about spicy food. If a child grows up in a region where chili peppers are readily eaten, they will reject them at first as they hurt their mouth. But, by the age of about Five, they will almost certainly have developed a taste for that painful food as they first grow accustomed to it and, second, keep getting positive reinforcement from their peers for consuming them. Curiously, this is something you can only do with people.

It is commonly assumed that humans have a predisposition to learn to find certain forms of pain rewarding, like, for example, muscle pain after heavy workouts.

Now, how does any of this translate into erotic humiliation? Here’s a simple example of how this could have developed in an individual:

A man has a small penis. He knows he has a small penis. So, when he interacts with a woman, he expects his small penis to become relevant as soon as he drops his pants. Consequently, he goes into the encounter feeling already nervous, fearful, and excited. A peculiar mix of emotions which will cause the release of endorphins, which will cause the dopamine neurons to activate, which will cause his brain to associate nervousness and fear with sexual excitement.

Next, let's say the woman doesn’t break out in laughter and ends all activities, but instead keeps playing with the Man's small penis while giggling about it being so small. Now he will feel shame and humiliation while also feeling pleasure from the direct stimulation, causing his brain to associate those two things with each other. And, in the end, he develops a taste for SPH.

 

[Lifestyle66]

Well, to be fair... I also got the impression that you simply attacked OP instead of answering their question. Someone asks for insight in an attempt to understand, and your reaction was to basically call them an inexperienced and narrow-minded person because they don't unquestioningly accept other people's kinks. It felt... weird. As if you got the impression they were trying to voice their disgust at cuckolds, instead of simply asking how a sexual preference like that could possibly be formed.
...

Well, in all fairness, perhaps I focused too much on the OP's statement in that opening:
"...For me, I can’t imagine the person who is supposed to love and cherish me the most in the world talking badly about ..."

To me, that "I can't imagine..." prompted me to respond with "open your mind to what others are saying and doing around you."

I recently talked to a neighbor couple who has known me for over a decade, who regaled me with their recent amazing experience actually meeting someone who grew up with no running water and had an outhouse in their back yard when they were young! Imagine that! Someone they met in real life having lived like that!

I casually mentioned that when I was growing up, that described half the houses in my neighborhood.


To the OP's point, my wife and I regularly interact with hundreds of other couples. When attend various social functions, I've heard some wives trash-talking about their husbands, and some husbands dissing their "bitch of a wife". But they all (or mostly) remain happily married.

I knew one couple where the wife was "drop dead" gorgeous and had a successful career in banking. She had three kids with her husband, who was an obnoxious braggart and whose co-workers barely tolerated and often joked about him. The co-workers were amazed when they met his wife at a company party, and wondered how she could tolerate him.

So, I CAN IMAGINE that his wife probably knows he'll never cheat on her. She has him by the balls and can do whatever she wants.


I guess my point is: If you "can't imagine" how or why someone thinks or acts the way they do, then seek out some more diverse acquaintances and talk to them.

 

[montanaboy12]

I don't think anybody's answer will make much sense to you as you already said all the right words right in your post. If you have to ask why, it's not for you.

Can everyone understand why receiving pain in the sexual context can be a good thing? No.
Can everyone understand why delivering pain in the sexual context can be good? No.
Can everyone understand why swinging is ok for some couples? No.
Why giving up control is good?
Why being taken by force (I am talking about CNC, not a rape) is good?
Etc.

Basically, every kink breaks some sort of taboo or social norm, that's why it's a kink. Some people are open to breaking it, others are not. It's not that they are better or worse in any way, they are just wired differently.

I understand that, but you don’t answer any of my questions! I was trying to gain more understanding.

 

[montanaboy12]

Obviously, no one can explain the behavior of everyone in a large group of people, but I will give you a theory that likely covers some of them.

I should say as a disclaimer that in my relationship with my dominant wife, humiliation plays no part. Both of us find it offputting, and like you, we see it as something in opposition to our ideas about love for one another.

That said, I will do, and have seen others do in their relationships, things to make real and clear the difference in status between us. I call it, “building the pedestal.”

A slave wants to see his Mistress as one who is high above him in authority, position, power, and even goodness. She can do no wrong.

He can create that distance, the height of her pedestal, in part by lowering himself before her. Service, worship, obedience, speaking to her in tones and terms of respect, are all ways of achieving this.

It helps too, if you are able to serve a woman who is genuinely worthy of such devotion. I haven’t known “most women” but I suspect it is an unusual one who is.

I imagine that enduring humiliation could serve a similar purpose and be another form of pedestal building.

It’s probably also worth saying that for a man with a small penis, or one who isn’t good at sex, it looks like a way of turning a deficiency into an asset. What might otherwise be a lifelong agony, he has been transformed into a turn on. Pretty impressive when you think of it like that.

And those men may also be attracted to a cuckold lifestyle by the fact that they are completely relieved of the duty of satisfying a woman sexually. He’s not skilled, or poorly equipped, or it’s difficult to impossible for health reasons… so someone else bears that burden and he’s happy to be free of it.

No doubt there are many other reasons I haven’t included, but this is a start.

Is your daily life any “different”? I mean is their like a magic word that now we are in our “roles”. I’m being serious. Do you have kids? How does that work? I was looking for logistics and answers and I wasn’t judging anyone. I can understand your situation —it is humiliation piece that I truly was asking about as well—I know all relationships are different. You have a loving relationship in which you worship and share your wife. She shows you love right? In the other relationship I am trying to figure out what the man gets out of it. Again not judging just trying to educate myself.

 

[montanaboy12]

You apparently can't conceive of anyone else's kink as being acceptable, because you might think everyone was raised just like you.

In my past, I had friends who were mistreated at home. So, my knowledge of different upbringings gave me a wider view of WHY people might like different things. I can envision how if someone was beaten as a kid by a parent they wanted to please, they might grow to enjoy beatings.

So, when it comes to humiliation, I can envision how someone might have been humiliated repeatedly by someone they admired and grew to accept that as a means of positive (in their own mind) feedback.

EDIT: In my own stories, I write of a strong-willed, sex-positive wife in a swinger relationship. But I can understand how some Loving Wives readers might have had a cheating wife and hate such a swinger relationship. It doesn't matter that the husband and wife enjoy themselves and have a balanced sharing relationship. The fact the reader had a cheating wife means they can't like it.

When did I say it wasn’t acceptable? Stop trying to make me into a bigot or non-open person. I do not understand and was hoping for education rather than lecturing. You wrote it above “husband and wife enjoy themselves and have a BALANCED sharing relationship.” I understand that. I was referring to when the man seems to only get pain and humiliation. I was hoping for insight into both logistics and mindset.

 

[Lifestyle66]

When did I say it wasn’t acceptable? Stop trying to make me into a bigot or non-open person. I do not understand and was hoping for education rather than lecturing. You wrote it above “husband and wife enjoy themselves and have a BALANCED sharing relationship.” I understand that. I was referring to when the man seems to only get pain and humiliation. I was hoping for insight into both logistics and mindset.

You said: "For me, I can’t imagine the person who is supposed to love and cherish me the most in the world talking badly about my cock size or my ability as a lover. "

Can you imagine how someone who is repeatedly beaten as a child might come to accept that as normal and even learn to enjoy the feeling of that pain? The child might even learn to seek such beatings as the only way to get their parent to interact with them.
Can you imagine how someone can grow up with a mother or older sister repeatedly humiliating him? He might grow to feel that as the only way to get a female's attention, and he might later in life seek a partner who would do the same.


When you phrased it as "the person who is supposed to love and cherish", you seemed to narrowly define marriage in a judgmental way.

What about all of the marriages of convenience, such as for financial support, for healthcare or insurance, or due to an unplanned pregnancy? And how long do you think some couples remain married for the sake of the kids, with almost no emotional support for each other? How long do some couples take merely tolerating each other before one of them finally files for divorce? And during that period of tolerating each other, could you imagine the wife disrespecting the guy she's married to, whom she now hates? Maybe the guy is employed by the wife's father and has no other job prospects. Or maybe the guy is disabled and believes he can't find anyone else, and the wife sees him as a burden.

Then there's the type of guy who doesn't care what YOU think about him or what his wife says about him in public. Maybe their relationship is one of BDSM pain and pleasure, where she tries to humiliate her husband to infuriate him, because he takes it out on her in private later.

There are many different reasons why a guy might marry or remain married to a wife who humiliates him. And someone who is trapped by circumstances beyond their control may learn to make the most of it and try to find some pleasure in it.

Try tasking yourself to imagine WHY someone might find themselves in such a situation. To me, it doesn't seem like a stretch of the imagination to come up with these scenarios.

 

[spacekowboy]

Head on over to the Politics board. The Republicants will have all your answers.

 

[lc69hunter]

Hi there! I know there is a wide array of sexual ideas/behaviors/stuff on here. I keep coming back to the cuckold relationship. Can I respectfully ask a couple questions to help me understand better?
I get wife swapping, swinging, open marriage, I even get the “wife lovers” thing intellectually, but my question is for the other cuck relationships.
-The main thing that is difficult for me is the humiliation aspect. So I ask, is the humiliation a sexual turn on? For me, I can’t imagine the person who is supposed to love and cherish me the most in the world talking badly about my cock size or my ability as a lover. It would crush me. (No judgment here just genuinely curious). Is it a turn on? What about the rest of life—is she only like that in sexual situations (or he in the reverse) or is it all the time? What about if you have kids? Do they know what’s going on (I mean like is mommy dominant all the time)? I genuinely want to know what’s in it for the cuck? Again I get the wife sharing wife lovers thing intellectually because the man is involved, present, and there is often reclaiming etc. But i would love to hear why being a cuck is great—why it enhances your relationship or you or whatever. Again, I am not judging or being mean, I simply truly don’t understand and would love some insight! Thank you!

I spent quite a few years with couples in cuckold relationships, and despite what you read her on Literotica, most cuckold relationships are loving and the husband and wife are on this journey together with love. The worst humiliation I saw was gentle teasing by the wife. The humiliation kink is a fetish not generally part of a good cuckold relationship.

 

[lc69hunter]

all of the cuckolds post in the author‘s hangout. you should try this thread over there.

authors hangout

You are definitely wrong about that. The AH forum for the most part are not fans of the genre

 

[montanaboy12]

You said: "For me, I can’t imagine the person who is supposed to love and cherish me the most in the world talking badly about my cock size or my ability as a lover. "

Can you imagine how someone who is repeatedly beaten as a child might come to accept that as normal and even learn to enjoy the feeling of that pain? The child might even learn to seek such beatings as the only way to get their parent to interact with them.
Can you imagine how someone can grow up with a mother or older sister repeatedly humiliating him? He might grow to feel that as the only way to get a female's attention, and he might later in life seek a partner who would do the same.


When you phrased it as "the person who is supposed to love and cherish", you seemed to narrowly define marriage in a judgmental way.

What about all of the marriages of convenience, such as for financial support, for healthcare or insurance, or due to an unplanned pregnancy? And how long do you think some couples remain married for the sake of the kids, with almost no emotional support for each other? How long do some couples take merely tolerating each other before one of them finally files for divorce? And during that period of tolerating each other, could you imagine the wife disrespecting the guy she's married to, whom she now hates? Maybe the guy is employed by the wife's father and has no other job prospects. Or maybe the guy is disabled and believes he can't find anyone else, and the wife sees him as a burden.

Then there's the type of guy who doesn't care what YOU think about him or what his wife says about him in public. Maybe their relationship is one of BDSM pain and pleasure, where she tries to humiliate her husband to infuriate him, because he takes it out on her in private later.

There are many different reasons why a guy might marry or remain married to a wife who humiliates him. And someone who is trapped by circumstances beyond their control may learn to make the most of it and try to find some pleasure in it.

Try tasking yourself to imagine WHY someone might find themselves in such a situation. To me, it doesn't seem like a stretch of the imagination to come up with these scenarios.

The bottom line is YOU don’t know. You just lecture people on a subject you don’t really know. I have gotten far more info from the two guys who responded with first hand knowledge. I don’t want to imagine—I want to respectfully have someone in the lifestyle educate me.

 

[montanaboy12]

I spent quite a few years with couples in cuckold relationships, and despite what you read her on Literotica, most cuckold relationships are loving and the husband and wife are on this journey together with love. The worst humiliation I saw was gentle teasing by the wife. The humiliation kink is a fetish not generally part of a good cuckold relationship.

That is actually really great to hear. Journey together is exactly what I hoped to hear!

 

[Lifestyle66]

The bottom line is YOU don’t know. You just lecture people on a subject you don’t really know. I have gotten far more info from the two guys who responded with first hand knowledge. I don’t want to imagine—I want to respectfully have someone in the lifestyle educate me.

I DO know one couple (of the hundreds we regularly interact with).

She's a very attractive woman, with an overweight, under-endowed husband. When she was a teenager and twenty-something young woman, she had a very high sex drive. Having experience with multiple men of varying endowments, she eventually got pregnant and became an unwed mother. She found that the dating life of a twenty-something woman with child held few options with mostly one-night-stands, as most men at that age don't want another guy's kid to raise. She eventually found her overweight, under-endowed "sole-mate", who was looking for an attractive woman who would take care of his minimal sex needs, and he accepted the kid to help raise.

As time went on in their marriage, her sex needs weren't being met. So, eventually he agreed they should try the swinger lifestyle, where she could sate her needs occasionally at parties and clubs, and he could also play with other women. Given his size and shape, he wasn't as popular in those situations. And she occasionally let slip her needs for bigger. He became jealous and overly protective, sometimes insisting she not play with particular partners. And she sometimes became too excited at the pending prospect of a party and would let slit that she was looking for some guy she knew who had a big cock (which didn't go over well with him).

He grudgingly accepted that everyone knew why they were at those parties, and he just tried to ignore it. He wanted to keep her and just agreed to try satisfying her need for more than he had. But the jealousy and anger would sometimes come out and put a freeze on their activities. They're still together, due to her getting older and her declining libido reducing their conflicts. But their relationship shows that some marriages are not always about "love and cherish forever". Theirs was a marriage of insecurities and convenience melding to try supporting each other.


In another case, I know a man who was very under-endowed. He married (twice) and had kids. After the second divorce, and when the kids were grown, he finally admitted to himself that his sex life was not as fulfilling as most men with normal endowment. After going through the necessary changes, SHE's now much happier and finds sex more enjoyable.


I know several other couples with differing issues and who handle their different sex drives in their own ways. As ic69hunter said: The blatant humiliation kink is not generally part of a good cuckold relationship.
To find the guy who truly gets off enjoying his wife overtly humiliating him, you need to look deeper into the guy's past where you'll probably find some disturbing examples of child abuse.

In my experience, out of HUNDREDS of married couples I've known well, I've only known THREE couples (a very small percentage) whose marriages could be described as "love and cherish forever." Most marriages are a melding of insecurities, needs, and convenience as a best fit to support each other. And that's why there's such a high divorce rate, and many others where they tolerate each other or seem to live separate lives.

EDIT: I also noticed in your initial post that you're not asking about relationship where the wife is specifically and overtly humiliating her husband. Your statement that you understand sharing relationships "intellectually, but what about the humiliation aspect" suggests to me that you think all sharing relationships are humiliating, and you seem to want to know how the husbands in ALL sharing and swinger relationships handle that.

If that's what you think, then you ARE being judgmental. Are you applying your own beliefs to those other relationships and assuming the husbands MUST feel humiliated?

 

[TemptationTango]

It's not always about humiliation. It is, I think more about one or both partners having a mind blowing orgasm. It's also about power, it can be intoxicating to one who is not used to having any in the relationship.

I was an unknowing cuckold. Later in our relationship, the Ex admitted that her indiscretions were about power. That up until then she was "so and so's wife". That all changed when she started cheating, she was her own woman, and during those times, she cut all the strings attached to me. The power to seduce is enormous....many women have no idea of the power that hold.

 

[Lifestyle66]

It's not always about humiliation. It is, I think more about one or both partners having a mind blowing orgasm. It's also about power, it can be intoxicating to one who is not used to having any in the relationship.

I was an unknowing cuckold. Later in our relationship, the Ex admitted that her indiscretions were about power. That up until then she was "so and so's wife". That all changed when she started cheating, she was her own woman, and during those times, she cut all the strings attached to me. The power to seduce is enormous....many women have no idea of the power that hold.

Sorry to hear about your Ex cheating. I don't care for such cheating, ... unless you were ignoring her. If that's the case, then there's a reason. But if was just due to her recognizing her power over men, then she was a "slow learner".

In my experience, most women don't understand that power. Some turn into feminists thinking "men OWE women respect."

My current wife knows her power over men, often flirting just to see that she still has it. I patterned the main female character in my stories after her, with the fictional wife using flirting as a sport. She feels like a winner when she give a guy a boner.

 

[FantasySharer1]

Hi there! I know there is a wide array of sexual ideas/behaviors/stuff on here. I keep coming back to the cuckold relationship. Can I respectfully ask a couple questions to help me understand better?
I get wife swapping, swinging, open marriage, I even get the “wife lovers” thing intellectually, but my question is for the other cuck relationships.
-The main thing that is difficult for me is the humiliation aspect. So I ask, is the humiliation a sexual turn on? For me, I can’t imagine the person who is supposed to love and cherish me the most in the world talking badly about my cock size or my ability as a lover. It would crush me. (No judgment here just genuinely curious). Is it a turn on? What about the rest of life—is she only like that in sexual situations (or he in the reverse) or is it all the time? What about if you have kids? Do they know what’s going on (I mean like is mommy dominant all the time)? I genuinely want to know what’s in it for the cuck? Again I get the wife sharing wife lovers thing intellectually because the man is involved, present, and there is often reclaiming etc. But i would love to hear why being a cuck is great—why it enhances your relationship or you or whatever. Again, I am not judging or being mean, I simply truly don’t understand and would love some insight! Thank you!

I haven't actually been cuckolded but my biggest, deepest, most intense, most real desire is for my wife to cuckold me with her older brother. And I'd enjoy a little humiliation too. As a life-long thing. It's a cross between my biggest two desires - incest and cuckold. I can't even cum anymore unless I imagine him fucking her. I'll talk about why this is such a real and deep desire for me.

1. Her brother is my childhood best friend. We traded lunch box snacks in school. There is a huge huge amount of trust in him. Any humiliation would be guardrailed by our long relationship and deep friendship.

2. He's more muscular than me, stronger, and I've seen his cock in the locker room. He MUST be twice my length and twice my girth. It was SO HUGE, not even erect, that I can't imagine how glorious it must be erect.

3. I feel like it's almost criminal that my wife - who is a beautiful, lovely, kind, sweet, amazing woman and a great wife, won't ever get to experience what it would be like to get thoroughly, lovingly, passionately fucked by a cock that huge, capable, and powerful. By a man who loves her as much as I do but because of societal hangups - can't/won't.

4. Being told that his cock just satisfies her in ways that I never can, that I'm too small compared to him, that he reaches places in the depth of her pussy (that has borne 4 of my children) that I can never even fathom touching because I'm not long enough, and can apply pressure inside her that I will never be able to because I'm not thick enough - is a HUGE turn on. Why? It takes pressure off me somehow. I try hard to please my wife sexually and I am successful. But to know that there's a man I love and trust, that she loves and trusts, who would never steal her away from me and our kids - but could please her and love her in ways I cannot - would be wonderful. It is a relief to know "I'm not the best at fucking her and that is OK. Because another man that I trust and that she loves is fucking her REALLY REALLY well. Is DESTROYING her pussy in a way I simply can't. I don't have to be 10/10 effort all the time because if I am ever tired or not feeling it, there's a man who can do the job for her.

She hasn't been with any man but me and I wish she could know the INCREDIBLE pleasure of being stretched out by her brother's cock. If she even knew that it is probably closer in size to my forearm than my own penis.

5. I would enjoy her humiliating me a little in a way that says: "It's OK that you cock isn't this huge - I still love you. I love you for letting me have my brother. I love you for being the father of my children. I will always let you fuck me. You don't have to be the best at it and you don't have to perform every time - my big brother is here to take care of any needs I have that you can't fulfill."

6. In my fantasy, which is a real and true desire - I wouldn't want my kids to feel like my authority is being supplanted when it comes to my parenting. However, my wife already is a little on the dominant side at home so I wouldn't mind her maintaining that and REALLY pushing it to the limits in the bedroom.

More than anything, I would want her to know that I love her so much, that I've shared her with the only man I can trust because I want her to experience what a man with that perfect of a body feels like making love to her. I want it for her pleasure. And I would want that to bring us closer together.

7. I would love if he took charge of some of her sexual affairs. If I was the one being surprised. When she waxes or shaves. What kind of lingerie she wears. When I get to fuck her. If as her older brother AND lover, his authority over her sexuality ends up exceeding my own. He lets me have his sister rather than me letting him have my wife. He witholds and gives me access to my own wife's pussy in coordination with her. It is not something that is just available whenever I want. It is a privilege. A gift that I value and cherish every time. I have to ask for it. Just writing this has me hard as a rock.