Puns

[mnbreastluver]

Was the invention of the shovel groundbreaking?

 

[iamfoneguy]

"I see" said the blind carpenter, as he picked up the hammer and saw.

 

[done_got_old]

Why did the cook spill his soup? Because there was a leek in the pot.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Clearly none of the missions have been impossible

 

[done_got_old]

What did the coach say to his losing team of snakes? You can't venom all.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

 

[done_got_old]

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Some headhunters resort to skullduggery

 

[done_got_old]

Did you hear about the pilot who always had work? He was great at landing a job.

 

[done_got_old]

I need to drive to the shop to buy some ingredients for my guacamole but I don't avocado.

 

[done_got_old]

A friend said she did not understand cloning. I told her that makes two of us.

 

[HBergeron]

Oldie but goodie

A snail watched a car speed by with a large 'S' painted on the door, driven by another snail and said, "Wow! Look at that 'S' car go!"

 

[mnbreastluver]

A bald rabbit with no kids is an heirless hairless hare.

 

[done_got_old]

If you get sick at the airport it could be a terminal illness.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Is the point of a “bucketlist” to make the bucket lighter so when we “kick the bucket”, it isn’t as heavy?

 

[done_got_old]

When I see birds, I always chirrup.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Every rule has an exception except the rule ‘every rule has an exception’ , which makes it an exception to the rule?

 

[done_got_old]

She was always afraid of change, and for that reason, when using cash, she always paid the exact amount she owed.

 

[done_got_old]

Pigs flying is an example of swine flew.

 

[mnbreastluver]

You can’t belittle a faulty drinking straw by saying it sucks

 

[done_got_old]

Why do some people hate puns? Because they are laughtose intolerant!

 

[mnbreastluver]

People that work at a money printing factory, make money to make money.

 

[done_got_old]

I met two policemen in a lift, I realized then I was going down.

 

[prof39]

There's no fuel like an old fuel ......... D & R Koch

 

[mnbreastluver]

The people that tell you to “enjoy it while it lasts” are actively hurting your ability to enjoy it while it lasts