Making up cocktail names

[beguilethewolves]

I'm writing a new story and I'm having great fun with making up cocktail names.

A little backstory on the story itself, It's about a family living in a large old mansion with maids and butlers and cooks. Each night they have dinner around this large table. Each member of the family is gifted in some area of science. The father is partial to biology, the mother loves cosmology, Willem (brother) has a gift for Chemistry, and my main character is taken with geology. Willem makes cocktails for everyone. He can make them astonishingly tasty or horrific, gag-inducing. Except, he can never make his sister gag. Not even a little. She loves the disgusting cocktails. It's gothic and silly.

So I've been on a wiki rabbit hole about how cocktails get their names and I've been having fun making up names for new ones like:
Redheaded Negroni (this one includes unwashed carrot tops from the garden)
Pickled and Bloodied Mary (a Bloody Mary with dill instead of celery and full dill pickles in the drink itself)

This is a thing I love about writing and I just wanted to post this here to see what you guys could come up with as well.

What are your made up cocktail names?

 

[onehitwanda]

Tart Juice: Kraken spiced rum, Kola tonic, Lime cordial, lemonade, slice of grapefruit and three drops of Blue curacao.

 

[THBGato]

There's a really old one that never gets made anymore called "a little bastard in the sack" - sack was a type of wine, and bastard was a type of rum. I don't think either have been commercially available in for over a century. So, probably not useful unless you are writing historical erotica.

(My first ever writing job was a cocktail column in a local magazine.)

 

[EmilyMiller]

• Penis Colada
• Paingiver (Painkiller)
• Dark and Horny (Dark and Stormy)
• Cockito
• Bum Sore (Rum Sour)

 

[beguilethewolves]

A Hard Fucking - Gin + Whiskey + Lemon Juice + Bitters + a full stick of cinnamon.

 

[beguilethewolves]

There's a really old one that never gets made anymore called "a little bastard in the sack" - sack was a type of wine, and bastard was a type of rum. I don't think either have been commercially available in for over a century. So, probably not useful unless you are writing historical erotica.

(My first ever writing job was a cocktail column in a local magazine.)

What an interesting first writing job. How did you like it?
My story is made-up gothic Victorian. Vague Victorian as it suits the plot, basically.

 

[karina_jayde]

Capri Gun: Tropical Capri Sun, vodka, tonic water (this one was actually kind of tasty if you get the ratio right)
Witch's Brew: Spiced rum, a shot of dark stout beer, orange grenadine liqueur . Add in a little grape or an olive for garnish to took like a newt's eye (this was revolting)

 

[Voboy]

This is exactly the kind of thing I love inventing. I don't think I've ever had to create a cocktail before, but maybe I should...

 

[NC_Coastal]

Dirty Bride - Two shots of vodka, a shot of vermouth and a drop of absinthe. Stirred with the head of your cock, then sucked off by your brother's wife under the table.

 

[intim8]

Tatsinthe - green liquor poured over sugared nipples.

 

[onehitwanda]

Dirty Bride - Two shots of vodka, a shot of vermouth and a drop of absinthe. Stirred with the head of your cock, then sucked off by your brother's wife under the table.

One of these things is not like the others.

 

[beguilethewolves]

Dirty Bride - Two shots of vodka, a shot of vermouth and a drop of absinthe. Stirred with the head of your cock, then sucked off by your brother's wife under the table.

I am cockless and my husband is out so indulge me a personal question, would it not hurt to dip your cock into alcohol?

 

[NC_Coastal]

I am cockless and my husband is out so indulge me a personal question, would it not hurt to dip your cock into alcohol?

I'll let you know in the morning. I'm making vodka tonics for after dinner drinks.

 

[Voboy]

I am cockless and my husband is out so indulge me a personal question, would it not hurt to dip your cock into alcohol?

Nope. Unless you had an open wound on there somewhere.

 

[onehitwanda]

My eye is twitching and my vagina is dry-heaving.

 

[MrPixel]

Mine's really tame. I renamed what is normally called a "Grasshopper" as a "Peppermint Pattie". A hotel-attached tavern is central to a story series I started two years ago, and I gave the sexy bartender a project in renaming traditional cocktails to attract a younger crowd. "They don't all have to taste like aftershave!" she claimed, obviously referring to martinis.

 

[Devinter]

A Hard Fucking - Gin + Whiskey + Lemon Juice + Bitters + a full stick of cinnamon.

@StillStunned - Look! Look! Another cinnamon enjoyer.

As for any imaginary cocktails I've made up, the 'Vampiric Bite' that featured in my Halloween story was surprisingly good. I tried it out after I had finished the story. Peach schnapps, rum (I used Bacardi Oakheart), and black cherry juice. An improvement over the classic "Vampire's Kiss" or "Dracula's Blood" I'd say.

Still haven't named any imaginary beverages something naughty, however. If I had to make one up on the spot, I'd go with "Emily's Delight" - Cointreau, lemon juice, and a dash of urine - served with a small plastic octopus swimming around in it.

 

[THBGato]

What an interesting first writing job. How did you like it?

It was amazing! I was 19. I got to go around bars trying out their cocktails (this was in the UK, before you Americans ask how that was possible), then reviewing them. They patronised the shit out of me, then I'd explain to them the history of the drink they were making and their jaws would drop.

Shame the magazine got killed by the internet.

Singawhore fling

- 1 part cherry brandy (must have had its cork popped years ago)
- 1 part grenadine
- 1 part lime juice
- 2 parts sloe gin
- 1/2 part Blue Curacao
- 16 parts pineapple juice
- 1 dash angostura bitters
- stir it with your room key and tip your waitress

 

[StillStunned]

@StillStunned - Look! Look! Another cinnamon enjoyer.

Nothing wrong with cinnamon. It's just cinnamon liquor - that horrid stuff with golden flakes that was popular with students at a certain point. If you spilled it, your table was sticky forever.

Willem makes cocktails for everyone. He can make them astonishingly tasty or horrific, gag-inducing. Except, he can never make his sister gag. Not even a little. She loves the disgusting cocktails. It's gothic and silly.

The Gag Reflex sounds like a plausible cocktail name.

 

[THBGato]

Nothing wrong with cinnamon. It's just cinnamon liquor - that horrid stuff with golden flakes that was popular with students at a certain point. If you spilled it, your table was sticky forever.

Goldschlagger. Yeah, vile. Aftershock was worse though.

 

[nice90sguy]

Tart Juice: Kraken spiced rum, Kola tonic, Lime cordial, lemonade, slice of grapefruit and three drops of Blue curacao.

I want one. In fact I'm on my knees begging for one.

 

[Devinter]

Nothing wrong with cinnamon. It's just cinnamon liquor - that horrid stuff with golden flakes that was popular with students at a certain point.

Goldschlagger. Yeah, vile. Aftershock was worse though.

I was not familiar with this particular liquor so I looked it up, and it looks incredibly pretentious. Sticking gold flakes in a drink for no reason besides giving it the aesthetic of a snow globe, essentially. Still, I shouldn't judge it until I've tried it, so I checked if we have it here in Sweden, and.. Negative. Not accessible. Perhaps that is for the better!

 

[StillStunned]

Still, I shouldn't judge it until I've tried it

No, feel free to judge. Don't bother trying it. All you get from the experience is being able to say, "Now I know what Stunned means."

 

[beguilethewolves]

Nothing wrong with cinnamon. It's just cinnamon liquor - that horrid stuff with golden flakes that was popular with students at a certain point. If you spilled it, your table was sticky forever.

@StillStunned Do you reckon the next phase in that was Fireball? My old roommate once told me about how he drank most of a whole bottle of it (he was a big guy) in college and then stood up, realized he was completely drunk and maybe in a bit of trouble, and then went to vomiting. Fast forward a few years later, he was entertaining a young woman who bought lube - cinnamon flavored. He tried to ignore it. At some point, he decided to go down on her and that fake cinnamon flavor overwhelmed him and he started gagging. The relationship did not work out.

 

[MillieDynamite]

The Pussy Tongue-Banger
Fuck the beach, sex in a booth
Old Fashioned Head Under the Table
Moscow Mule Prick