Limited Offer

Can I get on this ship too? My credit card is out and I'll pay double, as long as you can guarantee AKentuckyLady is there for entertainment. I'll even bring Mark, Jose and Mr. Bacardi with me.

*whispers to Pensive* Now, let's talk about my cut of the proceeds...

I wouldn't miss it, hotsweetdesire. Pony up the cash and tips are always appreciated. :devil:
 
Ok, Ladies. I can see how excited you all are for an adventure.
(what an understatement!)
I'm pleased to announce that I have the menu worked out.
The choices will be beef, chicken, or seafood.
I'm gonna be busy trying to put this all together. Be patient.
I have to run to the bank and get some checks covered and bleed~I mean check on your credit cards.
Then I have to negotiate with White Castle, Long John Silvers, and Chesters.
I also need to take care of that bogus charge the Coast Guard hit me with, pick up some chum for Smitty, and buy some oars just in case.
It seems the boat is going to be over capacity now, so I'll look for some used jet skies.
Remember ladies, it's never a bad time to increase your insurance or never too late for swimming lessons.
Be looking for the package in the mail, and watch for any suspicious vans outside your house.
 
*whispers to Pensive* Now, let's talk about my cut of the proceeds...

I wouldn't miss it, hotsweetdesire. Pony up the cash and tips are always appreciated. :devil:

Cash in hand, I think you'll make the most money on this trip. Between the laughter and Jose my pockets will be empty. Just don't let Pensive know how generous I am.
 
Ok, Ladies. I can see how excited you all are for an adventure.
(what an understatement!)
I'm pleased to announce that I have the menu worked out.
The choices will be beef, chicken, or seafood.
I'm gonna be busy trying to put this all together. Be patient.
I have to run to the bank and get some checks covered and bleed~I mean check on your credit cards.
Then I have to negotiate with White Castle, Long John Silvers, and Chesters.
I also need to take care of that bogus charge the Coast Guard hit me with, pick up some chum for Smitty, and buy some oars just in case.
It seems the boat is going to be over capacity now, so I'll look for some used jet skies.
Remember ladies, it's never a bad time to increase your insurance or never too late for swimming lessons.
Be looking for the package in the mail, and watch for any suspicious vans outside your house.

I certainly do love big, thick, throbbing beef, but am a fond fan of cock too! :D Just how big are these cocks we could be sampling, though?
 
I certainly do love big, thick, throbbing beef, but am a fond fan of cock too! :D Just how big are these cocks we could be sampling, though?

Oh damn, I just lost my #1 spot as thread hijacker!

I can see the PM's pouring in now, LOL!
 
Ok, Ladies. I can see how excited you all are for an adventure.
(what an understatement!)
I'm pleased to announce that I have the menu worked out.
The choices will be beef, chicken, or seafood.
I'm gonna be busy trying to put this all together. Be patient.
I have to run to the bank and get some checks covered and bleed~I mean check on your credit cards.
Then I have to negotiate with White Castle, Long John Silvers, and Chesters.
I also need to take care of that bogus charge the Coast Guard hit me with, pick up some chum for Smitty, and buy some oars just in case.
It seems the boat is going to be over capacity now, so I'll look for some used jet skies.
Remember ladies, it's never a bad time to increase your insurance or never too late for swimming lessons.
Be looking for the package in the mail, and watch for any suspicious vans outside your house.


I'll take the seafood. The things I can do with king crab will *blow* your mind.

Hold the butter, that's for oiling up to get a nice, deep tan.
 
Hmmm...I don't think Cap't Smitty is ready for this. And his crew only speaks portugese.
I called Smitty and told him to tell the crew we were with the Dept of Fisheries just to keep them sane.
So bring clipboards and look serious til we hit deep water.
Long John Silvers was a tough cookie, but Sam's Club had a special on fish sticks so we're cool.
I found two jet skies I think I can get running.
I just happen to have 2 lawnmowers with I think similar engines.
Rest up!
 
Now remember, Ladies, this is a theme cruise. Gilligan's Island.
Equi needs to wear ridiculously tight shorts 3 sizes too small and her job is to bend over and get drinks out of the cooler.
KyL is Ginger so she needs to dumb down significantly and grow a beauty mark.
The rest of you will be natives, so wear grass skirts with no panties, as natives don't have panties.
Some of the crew already have bones through their nose, so they'll be fine.
I'll tell Smitty to wear his cap crooked and grin like an idiot.
I'll just roll up my sleeves and come up with ideas.
 
I'm gonna make a trial run with Smitty tomorrow to see if we can figure out why his prop keeps falling off and where that leak is coming from.
I also have to put some patches on the raft~I mean section B.
If all is a go and we don't sink or get arrested, I'll report back.
 
Now remember, Ladies, this is a theme cruise. Gilligan's Island.
Equi needs to wear ridiculously tight shorts 3 sizes too small and her job is to bend over and get drinks out of the cooler.
KyL is Ginger so she needs to dumb down significantly and grow a beauty mark.
The rest of you will be natives, so wear grass skirts with no panties, as natives don't have panties.
Some of the crew already have bones through their nose, so they'll be fine.
I'll tell Smitty to wear his cap crooked and grin like an idiot.
I'll just roll up my sleeves and come up with ideas.

I'm on it!


Please tell me you look like Skipper!!!! You'll make me soooooooooo wet!
 
I'm on it!


Please tell me you look like Skipper!!!! You'll make me soooooooooo wet!

I always wondered what Gilligan had inside those sailcloth pants. It's always the skinny guys that have the biggest masts...

I have the beauty mark, just in a significantly *lower* place. :devil:

When are you going to realize that Ginger was the smartest one of all? No need to dumb down, she was smart as hell!

The crew has bones through their noses? Oh that should add delightfully to the other ones they have ;D

By the way, we can reduce the weight quite a lot if you kick Shatner off the boat with his stripper pole.
 
Hmmm...I don't think Cap't Smitty is ready for this. And his crew only speaks portugese.
I called Smitty and told him to tell the crew we were with the Dept of Fisheries just to keep them sane.
So bring clipboards and look serious til we hit deep water.
Long John Silvers was a tough cookie, but Sam's Club had a special on fish sticks so we're cool.
I found two jet skies I think I can get running.
I just happen to have 2 lawnmowers with I think similar engines.
Rest up!

I think the fish sticks are way too soft for your guests. I'd rather enjoy some Portuguese sausage that your crew can whip up. Thick, hot and spicy is much more satisfying.
 
I think the fish sticks are way too soft for your guests. I'd rather enjoy some Portuguese sausage that your crew can whip up. Thick, hot and spicy is much more satisfying.


That's it, hotsweetdesire is now our chef. Get rid of that fat, smelly portugese guy in the galley!
 
Official Update from Carnal Cruises:
I'm sorry to report that Pensive Poet sailed with Cap't Smitty yesterday to check the seaworthiness of Our Lady of Alcatraz.
It was a short run to Tijuana where Smitty was to pick up a "package" for a "friend"
All went well until the return trip when three helicopters and four Navy vessels intercepted them.
Smitty gave them a run for their money while Pensive bailed and returned fire, but then the prop fell off again, and the jig was up.
The seven Mexican girls were put into custody, Smitty's boat was confiscated, and the entire crew claimed they had been kidnapped from their fishing boat at gunpoint.
It was a real mess.
Bill Shatner denied knowing any of them. Ginsu filed a lawsuit, and Pensive Poet was turned over to authorities in San Diego, as Mexico didn't want him.
Fortunately, Poet's lawyer, Miss HotandDeep, was able to post bail, but then they both disappeared and their whereabouts are unknown.
I'm sorry to inform you that the cruise has been postponed, but you will all get full refunds, minus the 75% handling fee.
We look forward to doing business with you again, as soon as we can find new sponsors and a boat.
Happy travels!
Carnal Cruise Lines
 
*grabs the rum*



Any of you ladies want a NO chicken dinner on a tropical island?
 
Back
Top