Is part of a fetish the feeling of shock at your own behavior?

[CurtGiles46]

I have a theory that part of a fetish’s power over us is by engaging in it we experience a feeling of shock at our own behavior.

For example, several posters have recounted how they went through their mother’s or sister’s lingerie drawers. Surely part of the arousal is the shock at one’s own daring behavior, “I can’t believe I’m doing this!”

I think it’s probably like that for other fetishes, acts like sucking a woman’s toes must be shocking to see one’s self doing that.

 

[BBCfan]

I have a theory that part of a fetish’s power over us is by engaging in it we experience a feeling of shock at our own behavior.

For example, several posters have recounted how they went through their mother’s or sister’s lingerie drawers. Surely part of the arousal is the shock at one’s own daring behavior, “I can’t believe I’m doing this!”

I think it’s probably like that for other fetishes, acts like sucking a woman’s toes must be shocking to see one’s self doing that.

I would agree with that a lot.
Often for mainly guys fetishes are imprinted at a young age with a certain, often initial intense "different" sexual experience. The rush of doing something that is arousing yet confusing and perhaps wrong or "dangerous" according to your belief systems.

I know when I finally gave in to the fetish again years later, I was so shocked I actually did it that it was a brain rush similar to intense drugs. The craving to mimic the younger experience just wouldn't go away. The act was so outside my comfort zone yet so pleasurable because of that.

To better understand myself, from the research I've found, imprinted fetishes don't away for guys. It's a matter of how to work with it in a hopefully healthy way for each person.

 

[Escierto]

Every so often, some part of me will wake up and freak out and say, "OMG, I cannot believe that you let her stick her cock in your ass and fuck you until she cums!".

Then the rest of me will look at the freaked out part and say, "Well, you know that's how they make love, right?". So then things go back to normal until the next time.

 

[CuriousinPennsylvania]

I think that you have actually hit on something here. However, it's places like Literotica that have made we fetishists feel less shocked since we connect with so many with similar proclivities.

 

[GD88]

For example, several posters have recounted how they went through their mother’s or sister’s lingerie drawers. Surely part of the arousal is the shock at one’s own daring behavior, “I can’t believe I’m doing this!”

As a panty fetishist, I can say that I don't feel shock at my own behavior. The turn-on from "My God, this is what they wear behind closed doors" outweighs whatever shock I may feel.

 

[sarahlacycd1]

I am not so sure it is "shock" that somehow lurks in our fetishes. Certainly for me with my fetishes of crossdressing, masturbating, high heels etc it is probably the taboo nature that makes it both exciting yet what you might conceive as "shocking" or even perverse. Maybe other people might be shocked if they knew of our clandestine activities but do we truly feel shock ourselves? Maybe it also depends on the extreme nature of our fetish, I am sure there are many that most of us in polite society would find shocking or even disgusting. For my own mainstream fetishes, over time when I come to accept those fetishes the feelings mainly turn to "I like it so what the hell." The previous poster has even given it a name. Thats my viewpoint anyway but certain others will disagree.

 

[WonderPonder]

I've been thinking about this lately and wondering if something is wrong with me.
My fetish has been fantasizing about cuckolding for years and now it's reality.
We're coming up on 13 weeks with my wife seeing another man. I have no regrets and feel now that it's happening, that I was made to be a cuckold.

I look within myself and wonder what kind of man gets off knowing he can't satisfy his wife with intercourse. Knowing and wanting my wife's pussy and body to be completely his which it now is. Being denied sex indefinitely and only receiving handjobs and going down on her. Knowing he's significantly bigger and better than me. Knowing they're closer than just fuck buddies.
I think, shit. This isn't normal but what is normal. But in the end it feels right and everyone is happy. We're open and honest to each other always talking and yes our 30+ year marriage is secure.

 

[Excitabletom]

I have been bi since my late teen years. I have gone long stretches of denial and been celibate, but occasionally the urge drives me to enjoy the company of another man. The realization of when I'm about to put a cock in my mouth is often that shock point! The "what are you doing" thoughts. Then once the the act begins, it's fun time!

Thinking a little deeper, it's really only the first time with a guy that I feel that shock moment. Back when I had a FWB, there was no shock, just sexual arousal! This also explains why I want one FWB again. Going for a first time as a closeted bi man is shockingly scary! And yes, I consider my desire to suck cock a fetish.

Hope I'm explaining myself well enough; I feel like I'm rambling.

 

[Escierto]

I have been bi since my late teen years. I have gone long stretches of denial and been celibate, but occasionally the urge drives me to enjoy the company of another man. The realization of when I'm about to put a cock in my mouth is often that shock point! The "what are you doing" thoughts. Then once the the act begins, it's fun time!

Thinking a little deeper, it's really only the first time with a guy that I feel that shock moment. Back when I had a FWB, there was no shock, just sexual arousal! This also explains why I want one FWB again. Going for a first time as a closeted bi man is shockingly scary! And yes, I consider my desire to suck cock a fetish.

Hope I'm explaining myself well enough; I feel like I'm rambling.

I can relate. When I am sucking her cock and trying to get her to cum, I sometimes think, "God, I can't believe that you are doing this!". Then when she has finished giving me her load down my throat and I have swallowed, I feel so proud lol.