How to move on from a toxic relationship?

[Tommelon]

Suggestions for realistic ways to move on from an ex.

 

[BrandNewKelly]

I recently moved on from a relationship I didn’t initially identify as toxic but my escape was how should we say ‘dramatic’. So no tips other than once you make the decision don’t look back.

 

[abvt75]

I recently moved on from a relationship I didn’t initially identify as toxic but my escape was how should we say ‘dramatic’. So no tips other than once you make the decision don’t look back.

@BrandNewKelly

Was it dramatic because of your choice of your partner being your dads friend or because it was you got caught kind of moment?

I am reading your posts @BrandNewKelly so just curious…

 

[BrandNewKelly]

@BrandNewKelly

Was it dramatic because of your choice of your partner being your dads friend or because it was you got caught kind of moment?

I am reading your posts @BrandNewKelly so just curious…

It was both actually haha.

 

[abvt75]

It was both actually haha.

@BrandNewKelly i guess you couldn’t get your hands of Daddy Rick!

 

[BrandNewKelly]

@BrandNewKelly i guess you couldn’t get your hands of Daddy Rick!

I should’ve stayed quiet this is off topic now so sorry

 

[abvt75]

I should’ve stayed quiet this is off topic now so sorry

@BrandNewKelly My bad! I am sorry

 

[Goldenfinger]

Suggestions for realistic ways to move on from an ex.

Dont settle, there will be someone else. You might not see it now but there will be.

 

[XShadynzX]

I recently moved on from a relationship I didn’t initially identify as toxic but my escape was how should we say ‘dramatic’. So no tips other than once you make the decision don’t look back.

Absolutely! Learnt that the hard way!
Still have my moments though. No one said it would be easy...

 

[KatieDoes]

Suggestions for realistic ways to move on from an ex.

Talk with a therapist and unpack why it is that you were attracted to and accepting of the toxicity. Then take some time to work on yourself and establish healthy boundaries and limits before entering another relationship. If you don’t learn to identify and avoid toxic relationships, you’ll continue to bounce from one of them to another.

 

[BrandNewKelly]

Talk with a therapist and unpack why it is that you were attracted to and accepting of the toxicity. Then take some time to work on yourself and establish healthy boundaries and limits before entering another relationship. If you don’t learn to identify and avoid toxic relationships, you’ll continue to bounce from one of them to another.

Great response

 

[Dman770]

Suggestions for realistic ways to move on from an ex.

Going through this now after 7 years, Happy Valentines. My answer... Another Piece of Pussy or Dick! Which ever you prefer will do wonders (She or he probably has).

 

[abvt75]

If I may add @BrandNewKelly @KatieDoes

I would just take a break from relationships. Discover yourself, make friends or travel if you can. Learn a new thing or skill…..

 

[BrandNewKelly]

I recently moved on from a relationship I didn’t initially identify as toxic but my escape was how should we say ‘dramatic’. So no tips other than once you make the decision don’t look back.

Well thanks to a couple of ‘toxic’ DMs commenting on my comment here that got way too personal I am going to slowly back away from the thread and wish you good luck. Life is too short to be around toxic people.

 

[littlecordelera]

Suggestions for realistic ways to move on from an ex.

You have to identify why you haven't moved on.

It won't be easy. It will take some time and some honest, and possibly painful, self-evaluation, but it will provide an understanding of your self that will benefit you for the rest of your life. Therapy may make it easier to do, but it can be done as a do-it-yourself. Therapy or DIY, neither method will work if you can't be honest with yourself. Find a quiet place and 15 minutes a day and ask yourself, "Why haven't I moved on?"

Try not to feel guilty about your answers to that question. You are only human.

I wish you the best of luck.

 

[NightL]

Get busy with activities you enjoy. Be involved with events that have you communicating with others, where you gain trust that communication is something to be enjoyed and not feared.

While I agree with the suggestion from KatieDoes for guidance and understanding to prevent repeating the past, but don't dwell on "if only" 24/7 as it will eat you alive.

If the toxicity was mostly delivered from your ex partner just be aware constant reflection of the past will still have you under their influence while they may not give a care or passing thought of you at all.

Emotions are how you choose to respond, they are not inflicted by another:
Ultimately you are responsible for your own emotions. Anger, sadness, sorrow are of what you allow of yourself to respond. Those emotions are not inflicted upon you by another, they are of your choice and decision to how you react. When you grasp that understanding that you are in charge of those emotions it is actually surprisingly very simple to tell yourself "I will not be angry anymore, I will not be sad".

If you believe these emotions are thrust upon you from another you will feel they are beyond your control and it will eat you alive.

"I choose to no longer be angry, I choose to no longer feel sad" can have a whole lot of stress just fade away in an instant. It creates a whole lot of space for joy, ready for you to fill.

You are not going to change your ex partner, but you can change how you react to them. If the toxicity had come from a place of narcissism then choosing to not be angry or sad as a response takes away their power. It removes the fuel from their fire. I am not talking of forgiveness and I am not suggesting you should just forget. Don't set yourself up to repeat the past, with them or another.

 

[NightL]

Do you feel any responsibility for the toxic nature of the relationship? Did you contribute to it? If so, all the more reason you should follow @KatieDoes advice.

 

[MierinEronaile]

All of my relationships have been toxic, but I suppose I've always expected at the minimum 'dysfunctional'. That being said, I choose not to let those experiences define me. The one thing that has always helped after a breakup has been making myself as busy as I can stand, it keeps me from focusing on the thing I want to move past.

 

[AchtungNight]

Remember that you may not perceive your relationship as toxic. But it may still be so in the opinion of your partner. And if they broke it off with you, they may have had good reason. I tell myself this now as I reflect on my failed relationships in the past. I just hope someone finds me non-toxic or worth the risk again someday. [sigh]

 

[honeyandfur]

It takes a lot of inner strength and commitment to yourself to move on from a toxic relationship. So give yourself some credit for realising the need to change and move on... keep yourself distracted, in healthy ways, with friends, family, work, hobbies... try not to contact the ex if you can help it.
Reflect on your own patterns and attractions, too, especially if your relationships have a theme of toxicity...

Sometimes our minds and bodies learn to adapt to stressful situations, and we subconsciously come to expect them, and resign ourselves to that being our norm. Without those emotional highs, we can feel lost, and alone, and become codependent. Start thinking hard about what you value in your relationships, and what your boundaries are - and stick to those values and boundaries. The right people will respect them.

For me in particular, it's been about learning what peace & safety truly feels like, and getting comfortable with that. Prioritise your own well-being

 

[DarkFlameDesires]

The easiest and hardest thing to do is to move on, cut ties; even mutual ones. Knowing you're in a toxic relationship is a strong first step. It's deleting numbers, texts, social media connections (if they exist), blocking, etc.... those are the next steps that need to happen. It's like a bandage. It will hurt a lot but the faster you do it, the better it will be.

Toxicity is poisonous and it has a long-lasting consequence of often making us believe we can't trust ourselves, our needs, and our emotions. But the results of cutting free is more powerful than any of us here can truly explain.

 

[Noor]

If I may add @BrandNewKelly @KatieDoes

I would just take a break from relationships. Discover yourself, make friends or travel if you can. Learn a new thing or skill…..

This, very much this!

 

[live4thebj]

Cut all connections.

 

[goldytheGoldfish]

Don't assume other people feel or think the same way you do.

 

[SweetBaybeeGirl]

Talk with a therapist and unpack why it is that you were attracted to and accepting of the toxicity. Then take some time to work on yourself and establish healthy boundaries and limits before entering another relationship. If you don’t learn to identify and avoid toxic relationships, you’ll continue to bounce from one of them to another.

Totally agree. I saw a therapist for a year. I have finally moved on. I will never allow anyone to treat me like that again. Identifying them in advance isn’t easy. I have learned not to be vulnerable and I don’t trust as easily. But I’m happy.