How to make amends?

[ima6uldv8]

Not to excuse her actions, but it takes two to tango. Did you also confront your SO? It seems to me that the conversation couldn't have gone there in the first place, if he hadn't been a willing participant.

The way it works in my own marriage, my spouse and I know where we've drawn the boundaries and we expect each other to defend the borders, so to speak. If someone crosses the line, we expect each other to inform the offending party. And to break off all contact if the other person isn't respectful of our parameters.

I was wondering that, too. She didn't speak of him at all. He could still be mischievous.

 

[TeaforMe]

Therefore:

For those reading this who want more information or have questions, it is important that you know I am not looking to out YOU in any way. If you are asking questions, I am going to assume that you are looking for answers so that you can make your own choices about what to do next.

I'm happy to give you those answers if I can. I won't ask personal questions of you because it doesn't matter. I'm not looking for more ammunition -- I have enough already.

So ask away. Apparently there are a LOT of you out there.

Now look who is in the locker room spreading gossip.

 

[heavyhitter01]

Now look who is in the locker room spreading gossip.

Spreading gossip via PM? That seems like private conversations to me, not spreading locker room gossip.

Besides, I seriously doubt the people I am having those conversations with would show up and post about them, because they would be outing themselves if they did. Who wants to admit they were with someone like ms_intrigue?

Nice try though, sugar.

 

[ima6uldv8]

Spreading gossip via PM? That seems like private conversations to me, not spreading locker room gossip.

Besides, I seriously doubt the people I am having those conversations with would show up and post about them, because they would be outing themselves if they did. Who wants to admit they were with someone like ms_intrigue?

Nice try though, sugar.

You're spreading gossip by talking about the PMs you're receiving and by saying there were apparently a lot of Lit men involved with her. And your condescending way of calling women darling, sugar, etc after a negative observation is stated about you is uncool.

 

[TeaforMe]

Spreading gossip via PM? That seems like private conversations to me, not spreading locker room gossip.

Besides, I seriously doubt the people I am having those conversations with would show up and post about them, because they would be outing themselves if they did. Who wants to admit they were with someone like ms_intrigue?

Nice try though, sugar.

I do think it is walking that line. I understand why these men would want to put the pieces of the puzzle together as no one wants to be played a fool, but who is to say they are all on the up and up? And why do they get off easy if they were messing around where they should not have been?

Maybe you need to create a spreadsheet and file on ALL of the players involved...maybe we can even create a new Lit game...Six Degrees to ms_intrigue...and lastly...sugar...its no fair that you get all the juicy details and we get scraps!! The loyal followers of this thread demand more info!!

 

[heavyhitter01]

I do think it is walking that line. I understand why these men would want to put the pieces of the puzzle together as no one wants to be played a fool, but who is to say they are all on the up and up? And why do they get off easy if they were messing around where they should not have been?

Maybe you need to create a spreadsheet and file on ALL of the players involved...maybe we can even create a new Lit game...Six Degrees to ms_intrigue...and lastly...sugar...its no fair that you get all the juicy details and we get scraps!! The loyal followers of this thread demand more info!!

Demanding more gossip, huh?

They might not be on the up-and-up. Who knows? So far as them getting off easy for messing around, that's up to their wives or the women scorned to make sure they get their comeuppance. I said from the start that I was only interested in those who fucked around with my friends -- and that's just ms_intrigue.

Juicy details might eventually lead to personal information on the board, which could get me banned (which I'm sure you would love). Therefore, juicy details stay in PMs. So sorry to disappoint.

 

[Eilan]

It seems to me that the conversation couldn't have gone there in the first place, if he hadn't been a willing participant.

I'll never defend the "other women," but I also wish society would do a better job of holding men responsible for their sexual behavior. There's way too much slut-shaming and victim-blaming going around, and all too often women bear the responsibility for not only their own sexual behavior, but for their partners' actions as well, regardless of whether or not an encounter is consensual. We do men a disservice (I hope!) to assume that because they're men, they can't control themselves.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I do think it is walking that line. I understand why these men would want to put the pieces of the puzzle together as no one wants to be played a fool, but who is to say they are all on the up and up? And why do they get off easy if they were messing around where they should not have been?

Maybe you need to create a spreadsheet and file on ALL of the players involved...maybe we can even create a new Lit game...Six Degrees to ms_intrigue...and lastly...sugar...its no fair that you get all the juicy details and we get scraps!! The loyal followers of this thread demand more info!!

I do think a list of people to avoid would be class. I hear Pmann has herpes. Wait...

I was wondering how long HH was going to go on and On calling girls sweetie and sugar before someone finally said something. I watched in awe as he said it time and again, never getting his crusty hand slapped.

You're an ass heavyhitter, but I'm totally glad you are here. This thing is like a Spanish soap opera, like I said earlier. I suspect TL is in a coma right now (that's why she has not stopped in), if my Telemundo soap watching has told me anything. The twist is she's pregnant! With whose baby?!?!? And will she wake up in time, before the baby is born?!? Or will she give birth in a coma (she can do that)? Who will take care of the baby? What will the birth certificate say?

TL is going to be hot and Latina for purposes of this fantasy. She will also have three tits.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I'll never defend the "other women," but I also wish society would do a better job of holding men responsible for their sexual behavior. There's way too much slut-shaming and victim-blaming going around, and all too often women bear the responsibility for not only their own sexual behavior, but for their partners' actions as well, regardless of whether or not an encounter is consensual. We do men a disservice (I hope!) to assume that because they're men, they can't control themselves.

Nah, no disservice done. See, as long as women expect us to act like uncontrollable dogs, when we do something right like pee in the toilet instead of the corner, we get a nice pat on the head.

But there is a double standard, I agree. "She stole my man!" We are not property to be had ladies. Stop treating me like a piece of meat.

 

[heavyhitter01]

I do think a list of people to avoid would be class. I hear Pmann has herpes. Wait...

I was wondering how long HH was going to go on and On calling girls sweetie and sugar before someone finally said something. I watched in awe as he said it time and again, never getting his crusty hand slapped.

Ha! I wondered too. The first time I said it, it really was the southern gentleman in me coming out. (Though most of the women here seem to believe I must have been raised in a barn. By wolves. Dumb ones.)

After that, it was just a matter of seeing how many times I could get away with it. I think they might secretly like it.

You're an ass heavyhitter, but I'm totally glad you are here. This thing is like a Spanish soap opera, like I said earlier. I suspect TL is in a coma right now (that's why she has not stopped in), if my Telemundo soap watching has told me anything. The twist is she's pregnant! With whose baby?!?!? And will she wake up in time, before the baby is born?!? Or will she give birth in a coma (she can do that)? Who will take care of the baby? What will the birth certificate say?

TL is going to be hot and Latina for purposes of this fantasy. She will also have three tits.

Figuring out the paternity on that one will have so many twists and turns that the fact she has three tits will be virtually ignored...

On second thought, this is a soap opera in classic "Lit" style. Never mind.

 

[Lord Pmann]

The first time I said it, it really was the southern gentleman in me coming out.

This line is quoted for preservation. Heeheehee.

There's a southern gentleman inside you, huh? It is all starting to make sense why you are so protective of your bro...

 

[heavyhitter01]

This line is quoted for preservation. Heeheehee.

There's a southern gentleman inside you, huh? It is all starting to make sense why you are so protective of your bro...

VERY southern. My Alabama born-and-raised momma (rest her soul) used to joke with no small amount of pride that us children learned to say "please" and "thank you" before we even dared think about saying "mama."

 

[Lord Pmann]

You got a purdy mouf.

 

[imemkay]

i find this thread immensely entertaining. But Pmann...that is the first thing I've seen here that has actually made the water I was drinking at the time come out of my nose! Well done!!

 

[heavyhitter01]

You got a purdy mouf.

I sincerely hope you can't play the banjo.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I sincerely hope you can't play the banjo.

I'm not the one from Alabama mate!

 

[heavyhitter01]

I'm not the one from Alabama mate!

The movie you referenced was filmed in and set in Georgia. Not Alabama. Those of us raised in the Roll Tide state are a bit more refined.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Alabama/Georgia. They are practically cousins. But you'd like that now, wouldn't you?

 

[KierstH12]

..................

 

[heavyhitter01]

Alabama/Georgia. They are practically cousins. But you'd like that now, wouldn't you?

Hmmm...I think that's the Kentucky stereotype you're working with there.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I had one other thought. If TL is as diabolical as you say, and according to you her actions demonstrate. Who is to say she will not get tired of your vengeance and not exact her own? If she is who you paint her to be, you take a large risk of her coming back at you or your friends and making your lives very difficult.

If she is capable of duping all these men, I would say she borders on being dangerous.

Remember, you are not only risking the sanity of your life, but also your friends'. I cannot imagine if she comes back at them they will be welcoming you with open arms and thanking you for taking up a cause they did not ask you to interfere in.

You are arrogant and risking the current stability that your friends have in their relationship.

What is the saying, "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should."

Oooooh. She's smart.

 

[bailadora]

I'll never defend the "other women," but I also wish society would do a better job of holding men responsible for their sexual behavior. There's way too much slut-shaming and victim-blaming going around, and all too often women bear the responsibility for not only their own sexual behavior, but for their partners' actions as well, regardless of whether or not an encounter is consensual. We do men a disservice (I hope!) to assume that because they're men, they can't control themselves.

My point exactly. To my knowledge, I've never been cheated upon - but I think if I was, I'd be more furious with my husband. He knows where the boundaries are. If he has a problem with where they lie, I expect him to do the responsible thing and talk to me about it. Give me the chance to either renegotiate the terms or get out altogether. Don't rob me of consent.

I was wondering how long HH was going to go on and On calling girls sweetie and sugar before someone finally said something. I watched in awe as he said it time and again, never getting his crusty hand slapped.

Oh, I saw it alright. But being the genteel Southern woman that I am, I preferred to take the high ground.

TL is going to be hot and Latina for purposes of this fantasy.

Ahem. For as much shit as you've caught in the past for stereotyping, you SURE you wanna go there?

 

[heavyhitter01]

I had one other thought. If TL is as diabolical as you say, and according to you her actions demonstrate. Who is to say she will not get tired of your vengeance and not exact her own? If she is who you paint her to be, you take a large risk of her coming back at you or your friends and making your lives very difficult.

If she is capable of duping all these men, I would say she borders on being dangerous.

Remember, you are not only risking the sanity of your life, but also your friends'. I cannot imagine if she comes back at them they will be welcoming you with open arms and thanking you for taking up a cause they did not ask you to interfere in.

You are arrogant and risking the current stability that your friends have in their relationship.

What is the saying, "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should."

That's a good question. I suppose the answer comes down to who has what to lose.

My friends might be annoyed with her, but any sort of "payback" Little Miss Innocent might try to get won't affect them in any substantial way. They are quite well protected right now, and even if they were not, she can't hurt their jobs, their families or any other aspect of their lives. In fact, her contacting him again could very well be cause for a restraining order, which effectively upsets HER life quite a bit. She would be stupid to try it.

That's the cool thing about taking responsibility for your actions and not lying to people -- it eliminates the chance that things might come back to haunt you.

As for me, I have nothing at all to lose. I'm honest with everyone around me. I own my own business, so there's no chance I can get fired. The patrons of my business don't give a shit about my personal life. Besides that, I don't have any skeletons rattling around in my closet other than those I have already mentioned here. When you're honest about your skeletons, are they still really skeletons? I don't think so.

ms_intrigue, on the other hand, has a LOT to lose if everything about her life is laid bare for the world to see. She already knows that all she has to do is shut up and go away, then stay away. If she goes after some sort of "revenge," then I drop those nuclear bombs, and her life becomes a wasteland. Simple as that.

Am I arrogant? You bet. But I am also very careful and I think things through.

 

[KierstH12]

...................

 

[heavyhitter01]

Any yet, you assume and behave as though you are dealing with a mentally stable person, when in fact you have worked very hard in this thread to make her look mentally questionable at best.

Do not be surprised if your plan backfires. Nobody has to have skeletons or have lived a questionable life to have somebody else come in and wreak havoc and cause major problems for them.

Perhaps you will get what you believe to be your happy ending and you will get sit back and watch with satisfaction. If so, it speaks volumes about your character, or lack thereof.

If you find joy in purposefully destroying her life, you are no better than her. It is time to look in the mirror; you have become the very enemy you fight against.

You do realize that you keep saying much of the same things, right?

You're right in that she's mentally questionable, but not in the way that you are implying here. She has no morals and no conscience, but she DOES have a strong sense of self-preservation. For her, it's a chorus of "me me me." She won't do anything that will hurt HER, and by going after someone else in this little game, she will be hurt even worse. She might be stupid, but she's not THAT stupid when it comes to looking out for number one.

But let's say that she does do that. Let's say she goes off the deep end and starts shouting all over town about the bad people who have done her wrong. That will do what, exactly? Nothing. If she goes further than that, legal maneuvers will ensue.

I've noticed a pattern among posts here...it seems many of you are searching for some sort of angle that will make me suddenly say, "Oh, my goodness, I didn't think of such a terrible thing, thank you for helping me see the light!" You're all searching high and low for something that I haven't considered, or anything that will make me see the "error" of my ways.

Regardless of what you might think, I'm smarter than the average bear. As mentioned before, I have thought about this long and hard, from every angle. I've consulted an attorney about what I can and cannot do. I have been very careful to ensure that I get the end result I want, and that no one else gets hurt in the process.

And guess what? It's working very well. In fact, I'm almost finished, and it feels quite nice, thank you very much.