How to get over fear/shame around sex?

[Dapperguy]

All I would say to you is this: hangups are able to be kicked into the trash by, gritting your teeth, taking a deep breath and just do it. All the bottoms I've introduced to a life of submission have taking this advice from me.

 

[littlecordelera]

(First time posting something so sorry if I get it wrong.)

I want to learn to be more comfortable in expressing myself sexually and engaging in sexual activity. I can tell that I have an honest desire to be sexual, but I’ve got these awful brain goblins (societal/cultural hang-ups, as well as personal baggage) that get in my way and make it hard to enjoy myself and actually go after what I want.

I guess I’m asking for advice on how to loosen up, to shed my fears and self-consciousness, and to feel comfortable and safe in exploring my sexual side?

I wouldn't change anything. You sound pretty normal to me. Besides, a woman who sheds her fears and feels safe exploring her sexual side is likely to end up dead. I suggest you hold on to those fears. They're there for a reason.

 

[jehoram]

I wouldn't change anything. You sound pretty normal to me. Besides, a woman who sheds her fears and feels safe exploring her sexual side is likely to end up dead. I suggest you hold on to those fears. They're there for a reason.

I think there's wisdom in not shedding your fears entirely. But don't let them dominate you, either. What's the best course? Set boundaries. Give yourself so much freedom to explore, but make it clear to both yourself and your prospective partner that the lines are drawn. If they exceed them, cut them off.

 

[Dapperguy]

I think there's wisdom in shedding your fears entirely. But don't let them dominate you, either. What's the best course? Set boundaries. Give yourself so much freedom to explore, but make it clear to both yourself and your prospective partner that the lines are drawn. If they exceed them, cut them off.

What about the spirit of spontaneity? One must live and love for this.

 

[NiceSlice]

Hah, I feel like the point about therapy is good advice that keeps coming up for me. I do already talk to someone in that regard, about general stuff, but she hasn't exactly been the most in-tune when I've brought up things about sexuality. Idk, maybe I should seek out someone separate for that.

Save your money…..dump the useless “Head Shrink” and simply get a BF. Guys are easy to find…the ratio on here about 15 to 1.

 

[AchtungNight]

My advice to those who experience fear around sex is to prepare yourself to face fear. Study martial arts, carry pepper spray or other weapons if you prefer (and you legally can of course), and get friends willing and able to protect you. Also build the mindset that you won’t accept the fear or encourage it in your own head. Writing things out also helps. Whatever your issues, I wish you luck.