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I genuinely tried to avoid this thread for days even though I kept seeing it on the board list. Curiosity won out.
Has anybody seen that film 'We need to talk about Kevin'? It might be appropriate.
You’re a little douchetard, aintcha?
What?!? Are you coaxing your coagulant using some sort of stealthy dry-fist technique?
You gotta lube that bad boy up Kev! Slather on the pina cõlada flavoured water-based lube, liberally. When pumpin’ the wee peni, it should sound like when your ma vigorously mixes a fresh pot of Kraft dinner for you, with her big ol’ wooden spoon.
You keep grippin’ and rippin’ your weenus dry like that, it’s gonna look like you’ve been sticking it in a leatherback sea turtle’s mouth, by the time you’re 24.
For fucks sake.
She’s your mother so it stands to reason that you’ve already put her through enough shit without inflicting your incest fantasies on her too.
Yeah you really need to stop talking like a 17th century poet. It's getting annoying.
Spoken like a man who has either never read a 17th century poet, or has only read Rochester. Which would be pretty niche. Though the 17th and 18th centuries were massively into pineapples.
You're back? How's that fapping working for ya?
I've decided to not go ahead with it. Thanks to a conversation I had with a member on this site. A conversation that was actually helpful btw
Yeah you really need to stop talking like a 17th century poet. It's getting annoying.
I've decided to not go ahead with it. Thanks to a conversation I had with a member on this site. A conversation that was actually helpful btw
Christ on a bike, it took a conversation off line to convince you it wasn't a clever idea? I'm gob-smacked that five pages on this thread wasn't enough! Mate, you're a legend, most entertaining!
Excellent. I would give you a high five but I'm slightly concerned where your hand has been.
Maybe because the posts on this thread weren't really '' answers ''
They weren't the answers you wanted, but they were generally advice that it wasn't the best idea you've ever had. Which, apparently, is the same advice you received from your sage.
Did you buy your mom flowers?
I don't think this qualifies as an answer
You likey the Peenie Coladas,
And getting caught by your ma.
Granted, that one's a piss take. But you did get some sensible advice, early on, that you chose to ignore, because it wasn't what you wanted to hear. You did ask in the first place, remember?