Female Lit authors: How much unsolicited sexual advances have you dealt with as a result of your writing?

[MediocreAuthor]

Well I got my first request for nude photos last night as a result of my writing. I was offered a fairly high amount, but I politely declined as I refuse to be known as a woman who sells pictures of her tits online.

That led me to think about him many sexual advances I've delt with (as a direct result of my writing).

So far, I can recall roughly

1 request for nude photos.
1 uncomfortable request for "more" photos, although nudity was never specifically mentioned.
1 dick pic.
Maybe about 5-6 requests for sexual roleplay/sexting (in spite of the fact that my bio clearly states that I'm not interested in roleplay with fans).

That's honestly not that bad, considering I've been at this for a year or so.

I'm curious to know how much of this solicitation other female authors have dealt with (guys are welcome to chime in with relevant anecdotes as well, I suppose).

 

[AwkwardMD]

Well I got my first request for nude photos last night as a result of my writing. I was offered a fairly high amount, but I politely declined as I refuse to be known as a woman who sells pictures of her tits online.

By posting stories on Lit, you are a sex worker. We are all sex workers. Unpaid, perhaps, but sex workers nonetheless. Let's tap the brakes on besmirching other sex workers who do make their living selling pictures of their tits.

To answer the actual question, no. Never once in... nearly 10 years, unless you count my girlfriend.

 

[Bamagan]

Well I got my first request for nude photos last night as a result of my writing. I was offered a fairly high amount, but I politely declined as I refuse to be known as a woman who sells pictures of her tits online.

That led me to think about him many sexual advances I've delt with (as a direct result of my writing).

So far, I can recall roughly

1 request for nude photos.
1 uncomfortable request for "more" photos, although nudity was never specifically mentioned.
1 dick pic.
Maybe about 5-6 requests for sexual roleplay/sexting (in spite of the fact that my bio clearly states that I'm not interested in roleplay with fans).

That's honestly not that bad, considering I've been at this for a year or so.

I'm curious to know how much of this solicitation other female authors have dealt with (guys are welcome to chime in with relevant antidotes as well, I suppose).

Relevant antidotes?!

 

[Bamagan]

I have received no sexual advances through Lit, although with only four months of being published, I suppose there's still time. I have made it somewhat difficult to contact me, though, aside from public posting on the forums. Plus, most people who read my stuff are probably discomfited as a result.

 

[Lucy_Lastic]

No requests for pictures, no unwanted advances, a few nice chats tho.

 

[MrPixel]

Yep. Guys aren’t immune here. I have one or two (probably) ladies who occasionally bug me about potential hookups. It’s likely due to “swinger” in my profile, and that I write about swinging.

No pix, tho’. And I’m not looking for pix, either. Ugh.

 

[SeraphNocturne]

Well, just the other night I got an offer from a fellow Litster who offered to force me to cuckold my husband and like it despite me saying repeatedly that I was not interested or into that at all. (blocked now)

I've had dick pics. Dunno how many would have to check. (Oh, by the way if you send me dick pics, I keep them in a folder and those descriptions will be used if I ever decide to write a cuckold story.)

Numerous requests for pictures and/or Skype/Fetlife/other connection I wasn't going to make.

Many demands that I was now their sub.

Two guys wanted details of my rough life experiences to fap to (one admitted it, the other was more coy about it, but sent a dick pic, so....)

Sexual role play demands (not requests, goes along with the "you are my sub now" but swap sub with "daughter/sister/fucktoy/bitch/cunt") are probably once every two months.

And then there've been about a dozen, maybe two dozen, really good conversations and a handful that led to something akin to a friendship. A few of those have definitely turned into friendships.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

I must say that I somewhat agree with the response from AwkwardMD, although not entirely. Some people sell (or just show for free) their bodies, either visually only, or even physically. We sell/show our dirty minds and imagination. Is it that much different? I am not entirely sure, although I would definitely enjoy a debate on this topic.
That being said, what we came to offer here are our dirty minds and imaginations, not the pictures of our bodies, so no one should expect it or even behave as if such a thing were normal. I would be curious to see what would happen if you asked an actual prostitute to tell you a story about her having sex with her mother or father (something that is such a common kink here on Lit), rather than having actual physical sex with her customer. I will go out on a limb and say that many of them would refuse and would be shocked at that request.
My point is that even if we all agreed that selling dirty imagination is philosophically and morally the same as selling the body or body images, the choice taken isn't, so if we came here to offer our dirty minds, no one has the right to expect the body, and vice versa (to be fair towards escorts and prostitutes).

 

[onehitwanda]

Thankfully... very little. I get lonely people, mainly men, who reach out via email trying to get me to correspond.

I feel sad for all of them. Everybody deserves to be loved and cherished.

 

[onehitwanda]

Well, just the other night I got an offer from a fellow Litster who offered to force me to cuckold my husband and like it despite me saying repeatedly that I was not interested or into that at all. (blocked now)

I've had dick pics. Dunno how many would have to check. (Oh, by the way if you send me dick pics, I keep them in a folder and those descriptions will be used if I ever decide to write a cuckold story.)

Numerous requests for pictures and/or Skype/Fetlife/other connection I wasn't going to make. (including from women)

Many demands that I was now their sub.

Two guys wanted details of my rough life experiences to fap to (one admitted it, the other was more coy about it, but sent a dick pic, so....)

Sexual role play demands (not requests, goes along with the "you are my sub now" but swap sub with "daughter/sister/fucktoy/bitch/cunt") are probably once every two months.

And then there've been about a dozen, maybe two dozen, really good conversations and a handful that led to something akin to a friendship. A few of those have definitely turned into friendships.

Oh my good god.

I'm so glad I just get words. I can ignore words.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

Also, as a matter of my personal bias and attitude towards this issue, I consider all guys who send dick pics or ask for body parts pictures as total creeps. You may only be asking and not forcing someone to send you their body pic, but the psychological effect can't be neglected. So yeah, I totally support outing such individuals as creeps.

 

[AwkwardMD]

I must say that I somewhat agree with the response from AwkwardMD, although not entirely. Some people sell (or just show for free) their bodies, either visually only, or even physically. We sell/show our dirty minds and imagination. Is it that much different? I am not entirely sure, although I would definitely enjoy a debate on this topic.
That being said, what we came to offer here are our dirty minds and imaginations, not the pictures of our bodies, so no one should expect it or even behave as if such a thing were normal. I would be curious to see what would happen if you asked an actual prostitute to tell you a story about her having sex with her mother or father (something that is such a common kink here on Lit), rather than having actual physical sex with her customer. I will go out on a limb and say that many of them would refuse and be shocked at that request.
My point is that even if we all agreed that selling dirty imagination is philosophically and morally the same as selling the body or body images, the choice taken isn't, so if we came here to offer our dirty minds, no one has the right to expect the body, and vice versa (to be fair towards escorts and prostitutes).

Any of us could, right this moment, start a patreon and get some of our followers to pay us money.

Yes, there are personal lines of acceptability that should be respected (e.g., I don’t do girls, I don't do double anal, I don't do waterworks, etc), and I'm not trying to suggest that any of us here signed up for unwanted attention or that we deserve it. Fuck that. I am merely sharing my long-held belief thaf if you put what we do alongside what an escort does or an OF girl does, the difference is largely theoretical; they come to us, we do our thing, they get off.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

I am merely sharing my long-held belief thaf if you put what we do alongside what an escort does or an OF girl does, the difference is largely theoretical; they come to us, we do our thing, they get off.

I believe that 9/10 authors here would say that it is nowhere near the same. I do see the logic behind your statement, although I am not really sure where I stand personally in regard to this. Definitely an excellent topic for debate, and definitely something that would be a perfect subject for our forum. We seem to prefer some light-hearted threads where we post utter nonsense, and that is fine, but we shouldn't run away from more serious topics such as this one. (Or bookclubs AHEM!)

 

[samhasstories]

I believe that 9/10 authors here would say that it is nowhere near the same. I do see the logic behind your statement, although I am not really sure where I stand personally in regard to this. Definitely an excellent topic for debate, and definitely something that would be a perfect subject for our forum. We seem to prefer some light-hearted threads where we post utter nonsense, and that is fine, but we shouldn't run away from more serious topics such as this one. (Or bookclubs AHEM!)

The correlation has never occurred to me, but I think it does have merit. I would suggest though that the differences are beyond theoretical, given our ability to sit at a remove from what we're doing here. It's a low-risk endeavor. I don't depend on this for my livelihood, my exposure to any potential physical danger or exploitation* is near zero.

Maybe if the larger point is that there's no moral high ground here - if you're the type who judges sex workers for what they do, then judge not lest etc. etc. - then I think the logic holds.

*(quick edit to note I'm not suggesting that the issues laid out in this thread aren't themselves a form of exploitation, or at least attempted exploitation. just maybe - hopefully - not quite to the level of what sex workers sometimes have to face.)

 

[SeraphNocturne]

Advances as a result of my writing? I wouldn't think so. At least no one has come out and said that, and I'm perfectly cool with that.

In the large scheme of things though, yup, lots of "offers", both online and in the real world. I don't keep count. I like to just put it in the vault and not let it fuck with my mood or headspace. One of my least favorite memories is having some rando pull up and ask if I was available for the night, he "was looking for some company" and I was getting something out of my car staying in LA. Nice hotel. On my honeymoon. He asked twice and I took that as a sign to take my ass back inside, quickly. I can't remember the last job I had where someone didn't show me a photo of their dick, unsolicited, or grab my ass.

I think no matter what you're doing or where you are, if you're a woman, some jackass is going to do jackass things. I take it with a grain of salt now and have very thick skin because of it. On Lit these days, its someone in my area or someone visiting the city who reaches out. I give a stern decline and they leave me alone. Sad as it is, I just brush the shit off now, and keep it moving.

 

[AwkwardMD]

Maybe if the larger point is that there's no moral high ground here - if you're the type who judges sex workers for what they do, then judge not lest etc. etc. - then I think the logic holds.

This, sorta. I'm very pro-sex work, and pro-sex, and pro-sex education. We exist within that same ecosystem. For me it's less about judging (although, also, don't do that) and more about increasing everyone's respect for sex work. It's a job, and it takes skill, and more power to those who can pull it off in a healthy way.

 

[MediocreAuthor]

By posting stories on Lit, you are a sex worker. We are all sex workers. Unpaid, perhaps, but sex workers nonetheless. Let's tap the brakes on besmirching other sex workers who do make their living selling pictures of their tits.

To answer the actual question, no. Never once in... nearly 10 years, unless you count my girlfriend.

By your definition, I am a paid sex worker, because I have sold personalized stories, written and bought by request. Cool. I'm fine with that.

That said, my personal feelings about the porn industry aside, I said what I said, and I stand by it.

I will not be known as a girl who sells nude pics.

That is 100% true. I'm an author, and that's all.

I didn't attack women who do, nor did I say anything against them. I said I'm not one. And I refuse to be.

That's my choice.

They choose differently, and that is their right. Each of us get to choose.

 

[lovecraft68]

Publishing some material under a female pen name has given me a taste of what women put up with. Dick pics, the creepy DM's the nastiness when you don't reply or have the nerve not to roleplay with them

The worst, and creepiest as the "cyber doms" who tell me all about how they're going to break my bitchy ass and etc.

The net, and any type of erotic site/material has brought out the worst in a lot of guys.

This forum likes to act like they were above the playground/fetish/personals behavior, but I know there's some just as bad here.

 

[AwkwardMD]

By your definition, I am a paid sex worker, because I have sold personalized stories, written and bought by request. Cool. I'm fine with that.

Good for you!!!!

I don't have the capacity to do commission work, but I respect anyone with the creative flexibility who can. It is it's own skillset to be able to take other's ideas and execute them.

 

[MediocreAuthor]

Good for you!!!!

I just don't want you thinking that I'm attacking (other/different) sex workers. Because I'm not.

 

[madelinemasoch]

I haven't gotten any, probably due to the nature of the work I produce(?)

What I have gotten are creepy edit-requests, but that's not really the same thing.

Still not sure I've succeeded in making the femdoms wet.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

There are definitely some creeps among forum dwellers. Even statistically speaking, there should be some. That is why I believe in outing them. Keep your house clean.

 

[lovecraft68]

Follow up on my prior post. A couple of names that were dropped to me by female authors wouldn't be shocking to the forum at large. Kind of the "yeah, I could see that' type.

But one poster dropped one on me that I suspected as being a creep for a long time and validated that impression but I imagine the majority here would be "No way."

Always beware the Eddie Haskel type.

 

[MediocreAuthor]

There are definitely some creeps among forum dwellers. Even statistically speaking, there should be some. That is why I believe in outing them. Keep your house clean.

For the record, all of my uncomfortable interactions came from randoms and not established members of the AH or anything.

 

[lovecraft68]

Any of us could, right this moment, start a patreon and get some of our followers to pay us money.

Yes, there are personal lines of acceptability that should be respected (e.g., I don’t do girls, I don't do double anal, I don't do waterworks, etc), and I'm not trying to suggest that any of us here signed up for unwanted attention or that we deserve it. Fuck that. I am merely sharing my long-held belief thaf if you put what we do alongside what an escort does or an OF girl does, the difference is largely theoretical; they come to us, we do our thing, they get off.

I suppose in a vacuum, your point might have a little meat on the bone.

In reality this is not even close to the same. The written word, even written to arouse, is a far cry from posting videos of one performing sexual acts and I see a line between that and women who will sell actual sex.

Personally, I see nothing wrong with any of it

Hypothetical situation, a woman is asked. "Would you write a dirty story for $100 dollars vs "Would you have sex with a stranger for $100" for most women what would the choice be? One is words and anonymous at that. The other is physical sex with someone who could recognize you then or down the line, because risk is also a huge reason there's a difference....not just in being ousted but the chance of an assault, being arrested etc...

These are very different games.