Feedback desired, Ripples sequel

A

AsylumSeeker

Guest
Thanks for taking the time to read this. I am not new to writing stories, but I am new to asking for your feedback. I have written a sequel to Ripples On A Pond that was well received but in the sequel I have added my first attempt at anal sex and more character development. I'm wondering if the anal sex descriptions (brief due to my inexperience) are okay and if the story is too dramatic. Your opinions and feedback are much appreciated.

The first story: http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=239189

Thanks to kbate for your comments on my proposed draft for the sequel.

RIPPLES ON A POND CH. 02:
WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE
By AsylumSeeker

Description: Jealous rage rips two incestuous families apart, leaving behind broken fragments

Butch watched his older sister from behind as she got into the driver's side seat of her mid-size car. Tina looked exceptional in the tight black jeans that hugged her tight ass and slender legs. The jeans emphasized her long, shapely legs and hips. As he sat beside her in the passenger seat he glanced over at the tight sleeveless white top. The swells of her firm breasts were temptingly evident, and they jiggled invitingly as she leaned forward and turned the ignition.

"That was a blast!" Tina exclaimed as she glanced over at her brother with a wide grin on her adorable face.

"Yeah," Butch agreed in a voice decidedly lacking in enthusiasm, as if distracted.

“Whatever,” she whispered in a disgusted tone, blowing him off. She backed the car out of Kevin's driveway and headed towards home.

For several moments there was complete silence. Butch kept glancing over at the ample mounds that vibrated against the front of her blouse from the revving engine and numerous imperfections in the road. Tina felt him staring at her but she tried ignoring him. She suspected he was feeling left out after her tryst with Kevin and was acting more like a baby brother instead of her little brother.

"Where did you and Kevin disappear to?" he finally asked. He already knew, but sought her confirmation.

His sister shrugged her shoulders. "We went looking for firewood."

"No, you did more than that," Butch felt certain. "What went on out there?"

Tina sighed. "You're my brother, not my keeper. It's none of your business. Just because we've had sex a few times doesn't mean we're mutually exclusive, Butch. I have other boyfriends, you know that."

"I know, but Kevin?" her younger brother complained. "He's my best friend; why him?"

"It just happened, like the way it did between us that first time," Tina said in exasperation as she struggled to explain something that was difficult to put into so many words. She heavily sighed in frustration. "What's really bothering you?"

"You ignored me all weekend until tonight, and then you walked off into the woods with Kevin," Butch pointed out. "And in the morning you're leaving again. You know how much I miss you. I was really looking forward to getting together with you this weekend.”

Tina could read between the lines. "I'm sorry, little brother. You know I miss you too. But life moves on, and we just have to deal with that like adults.”

“Stop calling me little brother!” he angrily exclaimed, tired of her trying to control him.

“Fine, Butch!” she replied in a terse voice. “What am I supposed to do? Hmm? What will make you happy?”

“I still have some weed and beer left over. We can drive out to the lake and party for a little longer, and see what happens.”

“See what happens?” Tina questioned. She knew exactly what he was fishing for, and it resided inside of her panties.

“You'll need to make your next right turn if you're into it,” he instructed.

She made the requested turn. “I know how to get there. You better make this fun or it might be the last time for us. I won't put up with your jealous spats for much longer. Besides, you need to find your own girlfriend and stop relying on banging your older sister as your only sexual outlet.”

His face turned red with anger. He thrust his left hand out, grasping her long black mane. He twisted on the hair, applying painful pressure. The car briefly swerved into the unoccupied oncoming lane. Her face contorted in surprised stinging discomfort as he quickly regained control of his Tina, bridling her in.

“Talk like that will get you the belt!” he threatened. “Or is that what you want? You want it rough tonight? Is that it, Tina? Are you ready for the belt again?”

She didn't say anything. Tina realized she'd overstepped her bounds when he lashed out at her. Instead she wisely bit her tongue and guided the car to the familiar lakeside spot they'd visited so many times before. After she killed the engine and headlights the cabin of the vehicle was immersed in dark silence. The only sound to be heard was their breathing.

“Let's get high first,” she suggested in a suddenly sweet and respectful voice, hoping to defuse the tense situation. But Butch wasn't buying her act.

“No, you're getting the belt first,” he decided.

He remembered sitting at the dinner table, with the imposing figure of their father at the head. After putting his mom back into place he leaned over and whispered into Butch's ear 'Boy, never let a woman think that she can control you. It's a man's job to keep a woman in her place, no matter what it takes.' Butch may have been born with a mild temperament, but his father changed all that before the marriage crumbled and he left home, never to return.

“You more than asked for it this time. I'm not about to let you numb the pain before it happens.”

Tina cringed in fear as she heard her absent father’s words in Butch’s statement. She knew better than to resist him, but she didn't help him, either. That was all a part of their little game. He reached across and activated a steering wheel release switch that tilted the steering wheel up and out of the way as much as possible. He grabbed her thighs and pulled them up and over the center console, twisting Tina onto her stomach.

He blindly groped beneath her, popping the jeans button open and tugging the zipper down. He fought the tight jeans that resisted his efforts, fueling his anger. When the jeans and panties were halfway down her thighs and he could see her shapely ass was exposed, he stopped. Butch could hear her heavy breathing as she grew frightened. He unbuckled his belt and pulled it free of the belt loops of his pants. He doubled it over for the well-deserved punishment.

“Please, don't do this,” she pleaded with him. “I'll do anything. Come on, let's just party and have some fun.”

“We are having fun,” he reminded her.

“Yeah, sure,” she reluctantly agreed, afraid of stirring up another of his uncontrollable rages. She silently questioned why she’d ever wasted a weekend driving back home for this abuse.

She felt ashamed as she lay across the center console, jeans and panties down her thighs, bare ass exposed. Her face was hot with anger of her own at being treated so disrespectfully by her younger sibling. Tina knew she deserved more respect than she’d ever gotten from him, and began to realize she never should’ve given in to Butch’s advances. He was too like his controlling father, and had inherited their dad’s short fuse and propensity for violence.

She felt the still air stirring as his right arm lifted and then came crashing down. The belt struck with a loud crack. Her body stiffened when a sudden jolt of sharp, stinging pain rushed through her form. Tina gasped and ground her whitened teeth together as she experienced a brief wave of pain. A second strike followed on the heels of the first. He gave her no time to recover as he lashed her bare ass again and again. Hot tears formed in her eyes and ran down her reddened cheeks.

“Butch, stop! That’s enough!” she cried out in protest.

But her brother wasn’t finished venting his pent-up rage. The belt kept hitting across her creamy ass cheeks with loud cracks. Her tears continued to spill. Finally he stopped, angrily throwing the belt into the back seat of the car. He opened the passenger door and stepped out. He nearly tripped over his pants as the unsecured clothing started slipping down his body.

“Fuck you, Tina! Just… fuck it!”

“What’s wrong, Butch? Tell me that!” she screamed back as she rose from her uncomfortable position and left the car through the open passenger door. She pulled her panties and jeans back up, covering her sore ass. “What?”

When he made a threatening motion, appearing as if he might slap her, she quickly recoiled. He realized what he started to do and looked down at his right hand, as if it was some foreign and uncontrollable entity.

“You’re not dad. Don’t let his rage get to you. Why are you being like this?”

He glanced back at her over his shoulder. Her beautiful face was illuminated by the light of the moon. The vision of beauty softened his heart and fed his unnatural desire for her luscious body. He turned his body toward her and quickly closed the distance. Tina backed up until she tripped over the hood of the car, falling down on the cool steel. Her punished buttocks cried out in pain from the abuse. She cringed in fear when he approached.

“Because I love you,” he whispered as he tenderly kissed her mouth.

She hated him for what he did to her, but Tina’s heart quickly softened as she felt his soft lips upon hers. When the tip of his tongue pried at her closed lips her mouth opened. The wet muscles anxiously entwined.

“Oh, Butch,” she mumbled as passion consumed her loins.

She eagerly kicked off her shoes as he tugged her pants and panties down her slender legs. She shifted her thighs apart for her younger brother as her desire for him quickly multiplied. Trimmed black curls of dark hair flanked her juicy outer folds. The aroused flesh shimmered in the white light.

“Love me, brother,” she whispered in a needy voice. “I want your cock inside of me.”

“I saw how you were looking at Carrie,” he mentioned as he loosened the front of his pants. “You want a taste of that hot little bitch as much as I do.”

Tina giggled and admitted “I do. I really do.”

“Next time we’ll both get a piece of that sweet pussy,” he promised.

He pulled out his erect penis, gasping in relief when his sword was finally unsheathed. She glanced down at his stiff prick, and then leaned back across the hood of the car. He stepped between his sister’s parted legs and stabbed his cock at the slit of her pussy. It sank between the lips and into the wondrous juicy warmth of her center. Tina groaned aloud when she felt his throbbing prick navigating along the bottom of her slick canyon. It found the doorway of her desire and gently pushed inside.

“Oh!” she cried out in joy. Her legs wrapped around his slender waist, drawing him closer. “Fuck me with your hard cock!”

She enveloped his stem with hot juice and pressure. He thrust forward, his prick moving deeper inside her wonderful canal. He loved Tina more than she could ever understand. Thinking of her being with Kevin filled him with uncontrollable anger. He knew she’d never be his, that there’d always be others, but those things happened out of his sight. But not Kevin; Butch was there, he knew what they’d done. In his mind nailing Carrie would only be fair.

He thrust, driving his steel-hard penis into Tina’s steamy cunt. His first motion sank half his length into his older sister. The second firmly planted all he had into her juicy, snug canal. Her quivering body melted like a frozen stick of butter with a heating element implanted in its center. Juice bathed his shifting cock and dripped from her exposed core onto the hood of the car. His hands grasped her supple thighs and held her in position as he hammered her pussy.

“Oh, Butch! Yeah. Yeah, that’s so good, baby. Love me!”

His cock retreated and plunged forward, sliding along her wondrous love chamber. He gritted his teeth and moaned in delight as the sensitized head traveled, gripped in the friction of her wet muscle. Thick cum seeped from the slit and smeared along the narrow channel. As he drove into her center his ass cheeks and toes clenched.

There was still a lingering sense of anger in his heart so he fucked her fast and hard. His pulsating prick throbbed inside her canal, swiftly plunging deeply into her core. Her gorgeous body vibrated with every thrust. The firm swells of her breasts jiggled temptingly beneath her shirt. Butch watched them, mesmerized by their fluid motions. The hard nipples were clearly outlined by the fabric of her top.

“Ah! Yeah, baby. You feel so good,” she whispered in breathless approval.

“You’re not really going to break it off with me, are you?” he questioned, suspecting her answer would be a resounding no with his cock buried inside of her hot, supple body.

“Not if you keep fucking like this!” she exclaimed with a high-pitched squeal of delight.

She extended her long legs up, hooking her ankles on his shoulders. His arms encircled her thighs, holding her body in position as he fucked her wondrous core.

“Pull your top up. I want to watch your tits.”

A naughty grin formed on her attractive face. She bunched the fabric around her neck, revealing the creamy globes of shifting flesh. Butch looked down at the beautiful orbs, gazing at the jerky boobs and swollen nipples. Each time his cock pushed into her center and their bodies slapped together, the firm jugs pulled down and then bounced back up. Her body looked and felt so good. Her juicy canal walls tightly grasped his penis, bathing him in wet heat.

She lifted the fingers of both hands to her mouth, licking and sucking on the fingertips several at a time. When they were dripping wet with warm saliva she painted her nipples with the wetness. The hardened nubs swelled even larger. She grasped the sizeable tips and pinched on them as she flashed her younger brother the sexiest grin she could muster.

“Yeah, that’s it,” he said in approval with a wide grin on his face. “Do it again. Keep doing it until you cum.”

Tina realized it was really turning him on. His hard cock pounded into her pussy faster and harder. She kept caressing the boobs and tips for his enjoyment, crying out in joy for his benefit.
Her belly felt like a ball of tingling fire that was on the verge of eruption. As she felt her body starting to slide across the hood, she tightly grasped the cool metal with the fingers of both hands. Her gyrating hips fiercely loved him back with all the energy she had.

Consumed by intense passion, their eager bodies loved as never before. Butch was breathless as he thrust deeply into his sister, filling her love chamber with all that he had. Juice dripped from her aching center and clung to the curls of dark hair. But as he nailed his hot sister, his thoughts were of Carrie. She was the one he was hammering into, feeding his growing desire for her gorgeous flesh.

Tina was no different. Her thoughts turned to Kevin, the handsome blonde hunk she continued to long for. Her thighs gripped his waist and she fucked her brother faster.

She gasped aloud as her body stiffened in sexual release. The ball of tingling fire in her loins seemingly exploded, sending shuddering fragments of fiery joy throughout her writhing form. Moist with perspiration, she was a sight to behold as her beautiful body twitched in spasms of ecstasy upon the hood of her car. Fresh essence spotted the shiny steel as Butch continued moving inside of her.

Several moments later her body quieted. Butch gently rolled her over onto her stomach. She cooperated, thinking he was going to finish off doggy-style. What she wasn’t ready for was the feeling of his juice-soaked cock pressing against her ass.

“That’s not it,” she cautioned him.

“Sure it is, I know what I’m doing.”

“Butch, I’ve never done it like this!” she nervously exclaimed.

“Just relax, it’ll be fine,” he answered in a reassuring tone.
She gasped and winced as his bulbous tip pressed harder, stretching the small rectum. Her gasps became soft cries as he stretched her wide. Butch felt his penis sinking into the tight orifice. He slowly worked himself in deeper. Tina wasn’t sure what to make of the new experience. Fear and curiosity combined. Once he moved in deeply enough, she felt wondrous pressure on her G spot. Peals of tingling pleasure rang out in her mind as she felt a thrilling rush of wondrous joy.

“Ah! Ah! Ah!” she frantically groaned as he rhythmically ass-fucked her.

His semen-filled balls ached for release. Butch thrust forward, inching even deeper, and experienced the pleasure of climax. He flooded her ass with hot cum as he ejaculated several times. He grunted into the silent darkness as he cringed in delight. When he was drained, Butch pulled out of her.

“What the hell was that about?” she angrily questioned.

“You were getting into it,” he said defensively. “Don’t tell me you weren’t getting off on it.”

“It would’ve been different if I was expecting it,” she confronted him. “Next time ask. I don’t appreciate you having your way with me like that. I mean this whole night has turned out screwed up.”

“Damn, I’m sorry!” he announced in a voice that was anything but sincere. “Let’s just go home then.”

Tina agreed. “Yeah, that’s probably for the best.”

* * * * *

Carrie sat with her friend Alison at the back of the school bus. It was practically empty as the vehicle struggled to reach the peak of a long, winding hill. It was Thursday, and with the weekend approaching their minds shifted focus from school to more pleasurable activities.

“I can come over on Saturday for a while,” Alison suggested, fishing for an invitation.

Carrie rolled her eyes in disbelief when it became clear that despite his inattention last weekend Alison was still interested in her brother. After all that had happened, there was no way Carrie was about to tempt him, not now. Their shared love for one another was all that either of them needed.

“Yeah, we’ll see. But Kevin mentioned something about spending the day at Butch’s house,” she conveniently lied.

After the bus mounted the hill her house came into view. Carrie anxiously looked for her brother, eager to see him. Her heart sank when there wasn’t even a hint of his presence. She wished he’d meet her at the bus. After it was gone they could hold hands and walk down to the pond together. She longed to be held in his arms and taste his lips again. They hadn’t done anything since Tuesday, and the hours since felt so dark and lonely.

“I’ll call you later, Alison.”

“Okay. Send Kevin my undying love,” Alison said in jest. Both girls laughed at the comment.

“Yeah, that’ll happen.”

Clutching a canvas bag filled with four school text books, Carrie entered the front door and immediately walked to her room. She deposited the book bag on her cluttered desk. When she turned, Carrie saw a writing tablet on the foot of her bed. She experienced an incredible surge of joyous elation as she realized its significance. Her face widened into an excited smile.

“You’ve been writing, for me,” she anxiously whispered. Carrie instantly forgave him for ignoring her for two long and miserable days.

Carrie crossed the room, closing her bedroom door. She picked up the tablet and curled up on the mattress on her left side, with her back to the door. After kicking off her shoes, she loosened the front of her jeans… just in case, she decided. Her fingers trembled as she folded back the cardboard cover and beheld his small printed words. His story was untitled…

… I’m lonely so I’m looking for you. Your bedroom is empty. I hear music coming from outside. I walk to your bedroom window and see you lying on a blanket wearing your red bikini. Your portable stereo is playing the CD mix that I made for you. I can’t help but stare because you look so hot. The red cups are holding your tits and they make my mouth water. I can see your hard nipples poking up and I feel my dick getting hard. Without thinking I start touching myself through my pants.

I love your flat belly and the way the bikini bottoms grab your pussy so tight. I can see the shape of your lips. I’m staring at your tits and snatch and slowly get bigger. You must feel my eyes on you because after a few minutes you look up at the window. The sun is too bright, so you shade your eyes with a hand. My figure comes into view. You see me standing there with my left hand rubbing on my big dick.

You hold up a bottle of suntan lotion and wave for me to help you. I’m there in a flash. When you see me coming, you roll over onto your stomach and unfasten the bikini top. I kneel at your side and squeeze the oil onto my palms. My hands begin smearing it over your moist skin and massage it in. I start with your shoulders, and work my way down your back to the top edge of the bikini bottoms …

Carrie placed the story down and swallowed hard. She could feel a dull ache in her belly as his words were starting to arouse her. She pulled the tails of her blouse free from the denim jeans and quickly popped the buttons loose. A hand reached inside and pushed the bra clear of a small, perky swell. She softly moaned as her palm cupped the supple globe and tenderly fondled the smooth mound. Her nipples hardened almost immediately.

Her eyes closed as she conjured up a visual interpretation of his erotic description. She touched herself for several moments. Passionate desire flared in her loins, filling her with tingling warmth. She was so tempted to move her free hand down the front of her panties, but she was also anxious to read more of his story. Despite her quivering excitement, she removed her hand from inside her blouse and picked up the tablet.

… I turn you on your back while you hold the bikini top over your tits. I squirt more oil onto my hands and rub it on your left foot. I love your feet, they’re so pretty. My fingers push between your long toes and you giggle. My hands move up your calf, and then your thigh. Your whole body is trembling as my fingers get close to your pussy. Just when you think I might touch you there, my hands instead start touching your right foot and toes.

I see a small stain in the crotch of your bikini, and watch it slowly get bigger. I tease your oily toes and tickle the bottom of your right foot. You giggle and wildly shake on the ground. I squirt oil onto your right calf and patiently work it in. Your legs eagerly move apart when I start massaging your right thigh. When my hands reach your crotch a middle finger prods your wet snatch and you come unglued. My fingers rub the wet lips and I listen to your moans.

You’re begging me to pull the bikini bottoms off, but instead I sit down on your crotch and squeeze a puddle of oil in the valley between your tits. My hands smear the slick lotion all over as I massage the boobs and nipples…

Carrie heard a soft tapping on the door, which then immediately began to open. She gasped in shock as a head poked through the open door. Her mind raced as she scrambled to come up with a plausible explanation for her indecent state. When she recognized Kevin, she breathed an audible sigh of relief. He entered her room wearing a warm smile and a white towel around his midriff. She looked absolutely stunned by his state of undress.

“What are you doing? Are you crazy?” she asked in a frantic whisper, desperately afraid that mom would discover their dirty little secret.

“What’s the matter, are you scared?” he teased her as he removed the towel and tossed it carelessly onto the floor.

She replied “Aren’t you?”

Carrie couldn’t help but look at his beautiful penis. It was small and soft right then, but she knew that when he got hard it would grow substantially in length and girth. His balls hung underneath, covered by a small transparent forest of blonde pubic hair. His legs were firm, slender, and muscular. She felt a twinge of excitement as he paused in position, letting her get a good look.

She rolled over onto her back. Her unbuttoned blouse fell open, revealing a white bra. The left cup was dislodged, exposing the underlying breast and nipple. Kevin was overwhelmed by her beauty; her beaming face, those sparkling eyes, and the way her dark hair fell in disarray around a very cute face. He also noticed the tablet he’d left for her lying at her side.

“You found the story.”

Her shocked expression was replaced by a wide, guilty grin. “Yes. I was reading it.”

“You’re half-undressed,” he noticed as he approached the bed and lay alongside her. “Have you been doing nasty things to yourself?”

Carrie’s face flushed red in embarrassment, but the feeling quickly faded. She was beginning to get used to talking dirty with her older brother. “A little, but I really wanted to finish the story first. I can’t believe you wrote all this for me, your pain-in-the-ass kid sister that loves and adores you with all her heart.”

“You were never a pain in the ass,” he admitted as his eyes continued admiring her slender, shapely figure. “I was just afraid of what you’d think if you knew how much I loved you. It would kill me to lose you.”

“And don’t you forget it!” she exclaimed, thumping an extended index finger against his bare chest for emphasis as she harshly glared.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he inquired, confused.

Carrie thought of Alison, who she knew still wanted to hook up with him. The threat gave her cause for worry, but at the same time Carrie knew she had to trust him. Tina was out there too, and she was an even greater danger to their blossoming relationship. But the new love they shared eased her fears and softened her face.

“Nothing, it’s just a girl thing,” she claimed, and waved it off.

His attention was diverted to the tablet. “How far did you get?”

“Far enough to know that I absolutely love it,” she confided with an excited look on her adorable face.

He leaned over and started kissing her exposed breast. He started at the bottom and made wide circular motions, slowly closing in on the nipple. His kid sister twitched and moaned as tingling warmth developed in her lower belly. Heated desire quickly returned to her aching crotch. The tip of his tongue dragged over the skin like a brush heavy with paint, leaving behind a wide swath of wonderfully warm saliva.

“Did it make you wet?” he questioned.

Carrie giggled. “Maybe.”

He flashed his sister a devious grin. “That’s okay; I wouldn’t trust anything you told me anyway.”

She playfully punched his arm. “Hey, that’s not nice.”

“I’m going to check for myself,” he explained with a knowing wink, “right after this.”

His head rose up like the nose of a violently surfacing submarine. His mouth fully enveloped a pulsating nipple, drawing it into his glorious mouth. He licked, sucked, and simultaneously nibbled on the rubbery tip. Carrie’s back arched, thrusting her mound harder against his mouth. She cried out in pleasure as joyous tingling engulfed her flesh.

A hand moved down her flat belly to the top of her loosened pants. Fingers dipped beneath the elastic waistband of her panties. Her thighs anxiously shifted apart. Her entire body jerked as fingertips sifted through the dark curls of hair that topped her love mound. After climbing and descending the small rise of flesh, Kevin felt his way to her luscious, steamy slit. The fragile outer folds were warm and moist, but when a finger worked between them he discovered that her narrow canyon was coated with hot juice.

“Oh, Kevin,” Carrie groaned, overwhelmed by the wondrous sensations his loving touch generated. Her eyes filled with grateful tears. “I missed you so much this week.”

His lips moved from her wet, throbbing nipple to her sweet mouth. “I love you,” he said, following his heart-felt confession with a kiss. “I love you so much.” His tongue entered her mouth.

Her arms coiled around his neck. She hugged him like they hadn’t been with one another for months instead of just a couple of days. Her heart surged with confirmed emotion as his professions lifted her, body and soul. The wet muscles hungrily devoured one another. The tendrils explored and entwined in a passionate embrace.

Carrie removed her arms from his neck and blindly groped for him. His penis was beginning to grow, and as her fingers wrapped around his shaft it was firm and throbbing. She felt a thrilling rush of passionate joy as she felt his aroused, nude form lying beside her. The loneliness she’d endured instantly melted away.

He ended their kiss. As his mouth backed away Carrie looked up at him with a pouting look on her face. He straddled her face and leaned down toward her crotch. His hands eagerly pushed her loosened jeans and panties down her slender legs below the knees. Her legs bent at the knees as her thighs inched apart.

“You look gorgeous,” she whispered as her eyes looked up at his dangling penis and balls.

He smiled. “I hope you’re hungry; I know I am.”

His cock suddenly surged in size. Carrie gasped in feigned shock. “You’re gross!”

“Who do you think you’re kidding?”

The next half hour was all a blur. After Carrie closed her eyes, her wet mouth began sucking on his pulsating cock. At the same time his mouth started devouring her pussy. Lips, tongues, wet heat; it was an erotic mix that stirred their passion. Desire, fueled by absence, consumed their young bodies.

It was Carrie who climaxed first. As he swiftly pumped two fingers in and out of her juicy tight love chamber, his darting tongue teased her clit. Her twitching form groaned in shameless pleasure. Her pussy leaked hot essence, lubricating his moving fingers and dripping from the delicate outer folds onto the bedding below.

Carrie suddenly stiffened. Her loud groans intensified, reverberating off the bedroom walls. Her shimmering body convulsed in wild spasms as tingling joy erupted from her center. Kevin was challenged keeping his tongue on her clit by her powerful gyrations. He maintained his finger-fucking as hot essence coated his face and flooded his mouth. Her orgasm lasted several seconds. When it was finished she lay back on the bed, overcome with emotion.

He rolled Carrie over onto her belly and moved her into a doggy-style position on her hands and knees. He aligned himself with her wet pussy and eased inside the tight canal. He sank his sword into her juicy sheath, stretching the snug walls apart. As he worked his full length into her incredible core, leaking essence bathed his cock in wet heat. His penis swelled harder as he delighted in the wonder of her flesh.

“Oh, your hard cock feels so good inside me,” she moaned in pleasure.

“Are you still scared?” he questioned.

“Not so much now,” she said, but then nervously glanced at the closed door.

Kevin started fucking her at a rhythmic pace. His steel-hard stem slid in and out of her hot center. Their bodies rocked back and forth, noisily slapping together. Their soft groans intermingled as one voice. Within a short time Kevin felt his scrotum pulling up tight against the base of his cock. His semen commenced its joyous rise.

“Uh! Oh yeah,” he grunted aloud as he savored the pleasure of the act.

He slowed his pace as he felt himself on the verge of orgasm. Kevin buried his prick into her supple belly and erupted, ejaculating thick seed. He kept thrusting, driving deeply into her core as he squirted several more streams of semen into her womb. Afterwards he withdrew and the two lay alongside together, holding each other.

“What would you do if mom opened the door right now?” he teased his sister.

“I would definitely freak out,” she answered. “Maybe we shouldn’t press our luck. We should probably get dressed.”

Kevin refused to release her soft, warm body from his embrace. “It’s exciting lying here together, isn’t it? I mean just knowing that at any second…”

Carrie giggled and struggled to get free. “Come on! Let go!”

Kevin was surprisingly strong and pinned her squirming body in his arms. She kicked her feet and tried pulling her arms free, but his grip was undeniable. She quickly tired out and had no choice but to surrender to her older brother’s will. The longer she lay naked on the bed the more intense her fear of getting caught became. Her ears listened intently for any sign of their mother’s approach.

“Isn’t this fun?” He toyed with her like a cat with a mouse. Kevin could tell he was really getting under her skin, and he was really enjoying that.

“No!”

“What do you think she’d say?” he questioned.

“I don’t want to find out, Kevin! Let me up!”

Kevin finally released her. Free, she quickly slipped back into her clothing. He watched her get dressed but continued lying on her bed in the buff. Irritated and growing angry, Carrie crossed the room, picked up the towel, and threw it at him. He could tell she was getting mad, so he gave his sister a hug and a kiss.

“I’ll see you later.” He left her room with the towel tightened around his waist.

“You’re a jerk!” she shouted after him.

Kevin hesitated in the hallway outside her closed bedroom door. His lips formed a wide smile. He could sense the love she harbored for him.

* * * * *

It was dusk on Friday when Butch and Kevin walked down to the pond’s edge and built a small bon-fire. They sat back on the grassy slope. Butch fished a metal pipe from his pants pocket and stuffed the bowl with weed. Kevin stuck a portion of a slender stick into the fire for several seconds before withdrawing the red-hot tip. Butch grasped the offered tool and cautiously lit the pipe. He filled his lungs with the strong, acrid smoke.

“I really like Carrie,” Butch announced in a hoarse whisper as he held the smoke in his lungs. “She looks pretty hot.”

“She’s okay,” Kevin downplayed her beauty. He jealously bristled at Butch’s unexpected interest. “I don’t think she’s into you. She would’ve mentioned something to me.”

Butch expelled the smoke. “But it’s up to her, right? I mean, I didn’t pitch a fit when you and Tina went running off into the woods together last week. I’m the one that kept the fire going, remember?”

Kevin shrugged his shoulders. “She’s her own person. Do what you want. I’m just saying she never said anything to me about it.”

“Well, Tina sure was fired up about you,” Butch confided. “I mean, it’s only fair, right?”

Kevin failed to notice the seemingly logical connection that Butch was striving to define. Butch remained angrily jealous about Tina’s tryst with Kevin, and continued to obsess about Kevin’s sister Carrie. He was filled with lust, and that emotion intensified with each passing moment.

“Look what the cat dragged in!”

Both guys immediately recognized Carrie’s voice. They looked up the hill toward the house and saw two figures approaching hand in hand. It took longer to distinguish Tina because her presence was such a surprise. Neither of them expected to see her again so soon. She rarely made the long drive back home from college more than once a month; two weeks in a row made it that much more astonishing.

“What are you doing back so soon?” Butch asked in shock.

Tina wanted to tell her brother that it wasn’t anything he did to her that inspired a quick return, but she didn’t want to cause a scene. So she put on a fake smile and lied. “Can’t a girl miss her brother and his friends?”

“Yeah, sure; I mean, it’s just such a surprise, that’s all. You’re always welcome.” But under the surface he hated that she was there. He wanted to find some alone time with Carrie, but with Tina there the girls would be inseparable. He suspected that Tina was there to make her own play for Carrie first. He felt a simmering rage slowly building.

Using the dimming fire as an excuse, Butch got up and feed more branches into the pit. He watched as Carrie and Tina sat down near Kevin. In the light of the fire he openly admired Carrie’s shapely form. Her skimpy dark shorts left most of her slender, athletic legs exposed. The white half-top barely contained her perky breasts. He enjoyed the circular shape of the swells as they vibrated with every movement. The nipples formed teasing bumps in the fabric.

He wanted her more than ever. His penis restlessly stirred inside his pants. The longer he stared at her sleek thighs, the more vibrant his fantasy became. He imagined shifting her thighs apart and enjoying the wafting smell of her aroused sex as she pulled him into her eager arms. He’d peel the shorts and panties down her legs, settle between them, and sink his swollen prick deeply into her juicy hot core.

His impatiently throbbing penis roused Butch from his thoughts. He watched as the trio talked flirtatiously. He angrily snapped the wood into small pieces and dropped them onto the growing flames. He joined the others a few moments later, wedging his body between Carrie and Tina. The girls didn’t appreciate his aggressive overture, but neither raised any complaints.

“How about a hit?” Butch offered to Carrie, temptingly flashing his pipe.

“Can I?” Tina interrupted after Carrie turned him down.

He begrudgingly packed the bowl for his sister. Tina pulled a lighter from the pocket of her shorts and motioned for Carrie to join her. As the two girls knelt before one another, Tina held the lit lighter over the pipe and sucked in the drug. Their mouths then joined together, at first sharing the drug and then their writhing tongues. Butch tensed with anger as he helplessly watched Tina seducing Carrie with his own weed.

Kevin pretended not to notice, but he could see how things were playing out. He murmured to himself “Oh, that’s so cold. I love it!”

The kissing between Tina and Carrie intensified. Muffled giggling could be heard as Tina pushed Carrie over and the two girls tumbled down the hill away from the guys for added privacy. Shrouded in darkness, Butch could only guess what they were doing. The sounds of their heated tongue kissing tortured his ears and fed his rage. He picked up his pipe, refilled the bowl, and enjoyed another hit. But the renewed buzz was no substitute for his desire of Carrie.

“I think your brother is seriously pissed off!” Carrie softly whispered.

Tina agreed with a nod of her head. “Screw him. He’s an immature, controlling jerk. I’ve been nothing but nice, and he’s been anything but!”

“Good. I was hoping we could keep doing this,” Carrie revealed.

“That first night I sensed you could get your groove on with another girl,” Tina admitted. “That’s why I came tonight. I couldn’t push you out of my mind.”

“Aw, you’re sweet!”

“Yeah, but you haven’t tasted the sweetest part of me yet.”

Carrie gasped in surprise and playfully slapped her new best friend. “You are one naughty girl… but I happen to love that about you.”

Tina pulled Carrie’s mouth back to hers. Their lips formed an airtight seal as tongues anxiously pushed into the other’s mouth. The muscles entwined in an erotic, passion-filled dance of desire. The moving tendrils explored the oral caverns and celebrated their sexual union. Their hushed groans were carried off by a gentle breeze over the cool pond water, away from the prying ears of their male companions.

After several minutes of heavy kissing, Tina tested Carrie’s resolve. Her hot lips separated, kissing a path down her long neck. Carrie’s neck arched, revealing more of it. Her soft groans sounded as Tina’s lips, tongue, and teeth teased her flesh. They blazed a meandering trail down the side of Carrie’s neck, and then nuzzled the base. Tina giggled as she pushed the front of Carrie’s shirt up, exposing both perky breasts.

What followed was an incredible symphony of fingers, palms, lips, tongue, and mouth. Wondrous pleasure filled her body, joined by stinging jolts of pain as Tina’s performance took Carrie’s breath away. Her groans grew louder and eventually were overheard. It was like adding fuel to an already raging fire.

Butch was now standing and pacing. “This is a bunch of crap! The two of them are out there doing whatever they want and here we’re just waiting! How come you’re not upset?”

“Really, what’s the big deal? I’m out here because I like being outside. I hang out here all the time,” Kevin explained. “If Tina and Carrie are into each other, then let them be. I don’t understand why you’re so ticked off. I mean, she’s just your sister, right?”

Kevin watched Butch for any signs of aggression. He knew Tina was no more than just Butch’s sister any more than Carrie was just his sister. But he sensed a dangerous swing in Butch’s mood that put Kevin on edge.

A few yards away, after devouring Carrie’s luscious mounds, Tina descended. She popped the button of Carrie’s shorts and pulled them down along with the damp panties. Carrie nervously shuddered as she was with another girl sexually for the first time. The younger girl was ready for it. Ever since the previous week Tina had been on her mind almost as much as Kevin. Her entire form quivered with forbidden excitement as the last remnants of clothing was peeled away, revealing all that she had.

Noticing the fire was dying down again, Butch fed the flames. He repeatedly glanced in the girls’ direction. When the flames were high enough, the flickering light pushed back the curtain of darkness and dimly illuminated their sleek bodies. He gazed at Carrie’s reclined form. He had a nice side view of the object of his obsession.

His attention was drawn to the supple, perky swells. They arose from her chest, naturally firm. The mounds occasionally jiggled when her stimulated body jerked or twitched. He could see the outline of her dark nipples anxiously throbbing in delight. Her chest rose and fell with each breath. Tina’s mouth finished kissing Carrie’s lower belly and moved between her parted thighs. A sharp cry sounded; Carrie’s back suddenly arched in excitement, thrusting her breasts skyward.

Carrie’s moans were now loud enough to be overheard. As Butch warily watched from a distance, his aroused penis stirred. His sexual interest was focused on what his sister was anxiously devouring. He wanted her tongue to be his cock, exploring the wet slit and sliding into her juicy hole. Butch’s lust fed his jealousy. He wanted Carrie squirming like that under his weight, taking all of his pulsating cock inside of her pussy.

Although he had no idea if she was, in his mind she’d be a virgin. It would be his swollen flesh-stick that would tear through her cherry. He’d leave her begging for more. Watching her lying in the yellowish light excited his sexual desire. He watched her thighs quivering with passion, clutching Tina’s face. Both hands reached down, cupping the back of her head, directing her loving attention where Carrie wanted it most.

Butch glanced over at Kevin suspiciously. His best friend was lying back on the grass, apparently admiring the stars. He seemed unconcerned that his sister was going at it with another girl. Realizing Kevin wasn’t the least bit concerned with him, Butch began rubbing on the growing bulge in his pants. Blood rushed in, filling it like helium did a balloon. It surged beneath the denim in search of a way out.

As painful at it was, Butch couldn’t not watch or listen. Carrie’s moans were the flame, and he was the moth inescapably drawn to the angelic sounds of her sweet voice. Minutes elapsed; his cock ached for her. His insistent stroking was interrupted only long enough to keep the flames of the fire bright. Oozing semen leaked through his clothing, seed he was frantic to plant in Carrie’s womb. In his mind, at that moment, he wanted Carrie more than he had ever wanted his sister.

Tina loved her fresh young friend, completely unaware of the watchful stares they’d attracted. Two long, slender fingers gently thrust in and out of her hot love chamber. Her experienced mouth extracted wondrous pleasure from the depths of Carrie’s luscious body. Tina’s darting tongue teased the enlarged clitoris and created waves of tingling joy. Carrie was amazed by the sensations invading her flesh. She desperately writhed and moaned.

With his cock as hard as ever, Butch’s desperation intensified. He covertly lowered his zipper and pulled his erection free from the confining pants. As it eagerly popped out, web-like pearl strings dripped from the smooth round head. His right hand gripped the shaft and slowly stroked it. His balls ached, anxious to release its hot load.

As he watched the two girls going at it, Carrie rolled over toward him. Her cringing face and bare breasts were more visible than ever in the fire’s glow. He drank in her naked beauty. Her half-open mouth emitted moans and fed his oral sex fantasy.

He was leaning over her, gently pushing his cock between those incredible glistening lips. She looks surprised but eagerly embraces his stiff prick. Wet heat surrounds the head of his stem as she tightens her oral cavity around him and begins sucking. A wide grin forms on her lovely face as she tastes his delicious flavor. He pushes in deeper and she takes him. Butch feeds his entire penis into her wonderful mouth. He feels himself easing into her throat.

He’s fucking her mouth and she’s taking it all. He wants to last longer, but the rise of his semen ushers in orgasm. He softly grunts in ecstasy. His surprised eyes open and he watches as a creamy stream of cum squirts from the tip of his penis. He keeps stroking, twitching as several more streams of seed are randomly ejaculated onto the grassy slope. He senses that he’s now the one that has attracted an audience. But when Butch looks up, nobody is watching.

After climax, he lost interest in the girls. He wandered closer to Kevin and retrieved his pipe and baggie of weed. Borrowing the lighter Tina conveniently left close by, he smoked a few more bowls and got stoned.

A short while later the girls rejoined the group. Butch couldn’t help but notice their absolutely beaming faces. Both were giggling and holding hands like new lovers. When Tina sat down very close to Kevin, Carrie jealously selected a piece of real estate beside Butch. Carrie watched Tina flirting with her brother. It was the possibility she feared from the very beginning, and watching it happen was especially painful.

“Come on!” Tina announced as she jumped up and grabbed Kevin’s right hand. “I promise you won’t regret it!”

Kevin looked helplessly at his sister. Carrie could see from the look in his eyes and his body language that he really wanted no part in what Tina had in mind. As she continued to insist, he shrugged his shoulders and mouthed the words “nothing will happen.” The two ran off into the darkness.

Butch offered her the pipe. “Here, it helps.”

Carrie reluctantly consented. She trusted Kevin, but her utter contempt for Tina and her questionable morals left her feeling guardedly jealous of what might be happening in the darkness that surrounded them. The acrid smoke took the edge off, and with the buzz it left behind loosening her inhibitions, she turned her attention to Butch.

“You are so beautiful,” he nervously complimented her.

“Really? You think so?” she responded in a mix of surprise and girlish pride.
He leaned toward Carrie and gently kissed her lips. She knew it wasn’t right, but it felt good. After several brief kisses, the tip of his tongue pried at her closed lips. She giggled and parted them. His warm tongue pushed inside. The muscles entwined in a tongue kiss that lasted for several minutes.

“Ooh, it’s getting chilly out here,” Carrie said. It was an innocent reaction to the dropping temperature multiplied by the effects of the pond, but it was taken by Butch as an invitation to advance their budding physical relationship.

He slipped his left arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. His right hand reached over and lightly stroked the outline of her right breast. Carrie softly gasped and stiffened at the unexpected advance. Her nipples immediately swelled from the contact. A finger brushed upon the throbbing nub. When she didn’t resist, Butch moved his hand under the bottom of her skimpy shirt and cupped the bare swell.

She had conflicting emotions. A part of her was angry at her brother for running off with Tina. A sexy girl could be so hard to resist, especially one like Tina who knew how to get what she wanted. She loved the attention Butch was paying her in their absence. He seemed so nice. But he was moving so quick that it left her feeling uncomfortable.

“Relax, it’s just sex,” he assured her.

She was confused. “Just…?”

He leaned Carrie back and covered her mouth with his. She didn’t impede his tongue, which excitedly pushed beyond her lips. As their swirling tongues entwined, his hands pushed her half-top up and revealed her silky soft orbs. He embraced the glorious mounds. His recovering penis surged in size and rigidity, ready to seek its pleasure again.

“They’ve been gone for awhile and we may not have much alone-time left,” he said, prefacing his next advance.

When a hand moved between her thighs, a sense of fear arose in her chest. Carrie tried to fight Butch off, but his strength and position gave him an advantage too great to foil. Her shorts provided little defense to a determined hand. As her horror mounted, his fingers pushed down the front of her clothing.

“Butch, no! Not like this! Please, stop. Stop it! Stop now!” her voice cried out in a demanding voice.

There was a dull thump that accompanied the launching of Butch’s body from atop hers. When Carrie looked up, Kevin and Tina were standing above them. She saw the absolute rage in Kevin’s eyes. Carrie suddenly felt safe in his presence.

Butch quickly recovered and stood up, ready to fight Kevin until Tina interceded. She placed her body between them. The hatred in her eyes was as apparent as her conviction to stop the advance of any violence between the best friends.

“We’ll talk about this later!” she exclaimed. “We’re leaving now!”

Butch glared at both Kevin and Carrie. It was obvious he wanted to spew his anger in an oral tirade, but Tina gave him no opportunity for his planned outburst. She angrily pushed her younger brother up the hill and quickly separated him from the others. Butch recognized that in his condition he couldn’t win a battle of wills with Tina, so he wisely delayed that fight.

* * * * *

Kevin waited until their mom was in bed and inebriated beyond consciousness before he snuck into Carrie’s bed. He could hear her soft weeping as he pulled back the blankets and slid inside the toasty warm bed behind her. His body formed around hers. The siblings spooned. He remained silent. Embraced by warmth and darkness, his fingers lovingly stroked her soft hair. His presence was incredibly reassuring. It chased away her fears that Butch would return during sleep and reclaim what had been previously denied.

“I’m so scared.” Her trembling was so severe that it vibrated her sweet voice.

“I’m so sorry I left you alone with him,” Kevin whispered. “Tina kept trying to talk me into doing things, and I kept denying her. It’s you that I love, not her. Hearing your cries frightened me beyond reason. I wanted to kill him.”

“Thanks for getting him off me. Please, don’t let him come back here. I can’t ever trust him again.”

“You’re safe with me,” he promised.

He wanted to tell her that Butch’s sexual outburst came out of nowhere, but he saw the shift in his mental attitude. Kevin had grown leery of Butch, yet he’d gone off with Tina and left his defenseless sister alone with a potential powder keg. He felt an overwhelming sense of guilt for his thoughtless actions.

As Kevin comforted his shaken sister he tried to put himself in his best friend’s shoes, tried to understand how he could do such a thing, but the answer eluded him. Could he possibly be so consumed with jealousy for Tina that it could lead to his sister’s attempted rape?

And then Butch’s statement resounded in his head; “Well, Tina sure was fired up about you. I mean, it’s only fair, right?” He missed it at the time. It was a sign of things to come, a hint of the slowly building jealous rage.

“I feel okay right now, but what about tomorrow? The day after? The day after tomorrow?” she questioned, gripped by fear.

Kevin wished he had the answers she needed to hear, but he didn’t. He just held on tight until her questions faded into a finally restful sleep. He kissed the side of her face, hugged her hard, and professed his undying love.
 
A very minor cleanup could help a few lines, but I think it is ready.

I think I would put Kevin's story in italics, and you did well to make Kevin's story a different style from the remainder.

You will have to write another chapter, you know this don't you?
 
Another One?

Thanks for the feedback, kbate. In hindsight after posting this I suddenly wondered if I made a mistake by posting a story that hadn't been officially approved yet. I never paused to consider if this goes against Lit rules, as I could see how somebody could "stick one in the back door" this way (not my intention at all).

I'm a little uncomfortable with anal sex, never having written about it, but the requests for it seem to be endless. And, I'm really growing as a writer through these first experiences.
 
AsylumSeeker said:
Thanks for the feedback, kbate. In hindsight after posting this I suddenly wondered if I made a mistake by posting a story that hadn't been officially approved yet. I never paused to consider if this goes against Lit rules, as I could see how somebody could "stick one in the back door" this way (not my intention at all).

I'm a little uncomfortable with anal sex, never having written about it, but the requests for it seem to be endless. And, I'm really growing as a writer through these first experiences.


It's a moderated forum, if it violated rules, the moderater will remove it, and I would not hesitate to report a story in violation of Lit rules.
 
kbate said:
It's a moderated forum, if it violated rules, the moderater will remove it, and I would not hesitate to report a story in violation of Lit rules.

Thanks. It was a thoughtless act for which I punish myself.

Whack. Ah!

Whack. Ah!

FYI, despite your thoughtful feedback I didn't know how to make things italic, although I fully concur. I'm now hoping the "..." will be sufficient delineation.

kbate, thaks so much for taking the time to comment. If I could reach your arse I'd kiss one cheek or the other. Maybe not in between, not yet.

AS
 
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