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- May 27, 2013
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Story is here. Please leave any thoughts you have on it.
The story behind the story
When I was writing Cruise Doubledate With My Sister, I split it in two to make it more manageable. I sent the first half to a beta-reader and asked him to guess what would happen next. He replied, “Caitlin wants to rear a family with Thomas - they move to Ireland (where I'm from!)” When I read his email, the entire story came to me.
My correspondent picked Cork as the initial setting, the name Sinead Hayes, the name Noel and the name Margaret. He suggested that Sinead studied at University College Cork. He suggested modeling Sinead’s looks on Rosanna Davison, Miss World 2003. Here is Rosanna Davison in a royal blue dress similar to what Sinead was wearing when Noel first meets her. As I’ve never been to Ireland and don’t know anyone who is Irish, I was planning on being totally dependent on my correspondent for local flavor. Initially I hoped that I would be able to submit “My European Summer Vacation” and another story, “My Brother Is My Inspiration”, for the 2015 Summer Lovin’ contest, but both were too long and I quickly realized that I wouldn’t be able to finish either in time. On 8/11/15, I sent my correspondent the first draft of the first half of the story. At that time, Sinead’s accent consisted of saying “mum” and “Yank”. After that, I didn’t hear from him for a long time. I got one last email where he mentioned he had been out of touch because of health and family issues and that was it. I felt I didn’t know enough about Ireland to continue working on the story and shelved it.
In September, the author Gorza posted a request for feedback on his story Exploring the Ring of Kerry. The story was about an Irish woman from Cork and an Englishman who eventually have sex in a bus traveling through Ireland. I loved the female character’s accent. I wanted Sinead to have a similar accent. Gorza offered to help me with this story, but I declined the help as I was in the middle of writing a different story, “Working with Little Sister”.
When I got “Working with Little Sister” up to over 30K words, I started having doubts about it. On 11/30/15, I sent a beta-reader what I had for “Working with Little Sister”, “My European Summer Vacation”, “My Brother Is My Inspiration” and a fourth story. His favorite was “My European Summer Vacation”. I decided to focus on the one he liked best and on January 13th, I finished the first draft of the complete story.
I did a little bit of research about an Irish accent and I reached out to Gorza for help. Unfortunately, he didn’t have time to help me. I did lots of research on the Cork accent and did my best to give Sinead one. I almost finished editing the story in February, but couldn’t find the energy to do the last few passes as I knew that I didn’t have Sinead and her dad’s accents right. I want my stories to be perfect and it bothered me that I didn’t know enough to get this story right. I reached out a number of times to try to get help with the story, but no luck. The story sat on my hard drive unfinished.
Then I saw that the 2016 Summer Lovin’ contest was coming up. That give me the impetus to finish this story.
Story clarifications
* One of the reasons Noel falls so quickly for Sinead is she sounds just like his beloved mother used to sound, which isn’t too surprising given that she’s his mother’s daughter and his mother and his mother’s mother raised Sinead for her first two years
* In Europe (some? All? Hopefully including Ireland), the floor numbering is ground floor, first floor, second floor, etc. So what is the second floor to Sinead would be the third floor to Noel
* Four-loaf cleaver joke is here, third from the bottom
* When Noel is confronted with the terrible news that his mother is almost certainly Sinead’s mother, he handles it in the classic way - denial. I originally had him feeling uneasy after she shows him the pictures and declines the opportunity to have sex with Sinead the next morning. I decided later that having Noel deny the obvious facts worked better as it makes the revelations from Mr. Hayes that much more of a punch to the gut
* Mr. Hayes refuses to put his comfortable life at risk. He views Sinead as a risk to it and while he says he wants Sinead to leave Ireland because she doesn’t have a future in Ireland, it’s because he wants her as far away from Maeve as possible. He felt that the secret of Sinead’s conception was just too dangerous to him to tell her while she’s in Ireland
* Sinead doesn’t really have a reaction to the fact that she’s been tricked into an incestuous relationship. When Noel tells her all about her mom, she feels overwhelming betrayed and there isn’t any emotional space to think about incest. She feels betrayed by both Noel and her dad, the two people she loves the most in the world
* When Noel makes Sinead the offer to join his family, there’s nothing greater to him that he can offer. He loves his family and has a very positive relationship with his sisters. The offer isn’t nearly as appealing to Sinead as Noel thinks it is because she has a negative relationship with her brothers
* After the Sinead’s tirade in Boston, Noel battles falling into depression. He keeps it at bay by doing household chores for himself and Sinead. All the guilt he has felt for the whole summer has taken a huge toll on him. If Sinead had left the apartment after her tirade, Noel would have had a mental breakdown
What happens next?
Noel and Sinead go over to his dad’s house and Noel introduces her to his family. Beyond that, I really don’t know. I don’t know immigration law. A beta-reader asked how could they get a marriage license in Boston if they are blood relatives. I have no idea what documentation they would need to provide.
My guess is that Noel and Sinead would get married quickly. I think she can apply for a green card once they are married. Their big vulnerability is her family. As long as they stay in Ireland, they should be fine. So another reason for the quick marriage - no need to explain why no relatives coming over. Does Sinead tell her dad that she’s marrying Noel? I think so. Does she tell her grandmam what happened to her mom and that she’s marrying her half-brother? A little iffy, but I think so.
One option would be for Emma, Lucy or Katie come over and it turns that she and Sinead are both bisexual and were lovers until Noel showed up. A threesome ensues. Or Emma, Lucy and Katie come over together and Noel services his little harem. Meh. Not particularly inventive stuff and I would consider it a big step down from the original story.
I have in my mind a scene where Sinead is eight month’s pregnant and she and Noel tell Erin and Riley their secret. Sinead’s grandmam is coming over to nanny their baby and they want Erin and Riley to know that she is their grandmother. Not much of a scene. There’s nothing else in my head.
What do I particularly like about this story?
* I think it’s a very strong story. I’ve gotten very positive feedback from beta-readers on this story
* The story has a number of plot twists that I hope the readers don’t see coming. I don’t think Sinead’s mom is Noel’s mom is surprising. His mom’s relationship with her cousin should be a shocker. Sinead’s offer to travel with Noel should be a shocker. Sinead’s furious rejection of becoming Noel’s sister should be a shocker
* This story required a ton more research than any other story I’ve done. I hope it pays off in terms of creating a realistic story
* More than most of my stories, is about two people falling in love. There’s a lot of the little things that make a romance
* I’ve read LOTS of incest stories. I’ve read some stories where the couple finds out after they’ve gotten involved that they are blood relatives. I haven’t cared for those stories as they don’t have what I find appealing about incest stories - being attracted to someone you know that you shouldn’t be attracted to. The reveal is always met with a shrug. I can only recall one story where the brother knows he’s fucking his sister while she doesn’t know. He considered it a cool thing and it made fucking her hotter. It wasn’t a big deal to her when he finally tells her. I can’t remember ever reading a story where one of the characters knows he’s related to his lover and struggles with it over an extended length of time. And of course in this story, the reveal doesn’t go well. So I’m proud that I wrote what I think is a unique story
What do I think I might get grief about?
* My getting Sinead and her dad’s accents wrong
* My getting details about Ireland and Europe wrong
* My getting details about an Irish citizen wanting to move to the US wrong
What were the inspirations for the sex scenes?
None really. Once I had the idea of having sex on the dining room table after dinner, I looked up some videos about sex on a dining room table. I found a video (since deleted) and this.
What of note got cut from this story
When Noel and Sinead left Paris, I had an extensive travelogue. There’s was a very big section set in an unnamed city where Sinead and Noel hang out with two other couples, sharing a room with them at the hostel. One of the couples proposes trading partners. The other couple agrees but Noel says no. Then there was a big sex scene where Noel convinces Sinead to loudly respond to his fucking while the other couples fuck in the room in the hostel. After the fuck, Noel tells Sinead he loves her for the first time.
A beta-reader said that the travel stuff was boring; that once Sinead and Noel start traveling, the looming confrontation in Boston was what was interesting. Consequently, I pared the travelogue way back.
Major editing changes for the story as it was written?
Here’s the end of the story from the story description I sent my Irish correspondent:
* Eamonn [later renamed Noel] shows Molly [later renamed Sinead] the pictures of his mom and tells her that she's Molly's mom too. He tells her everything that her father told him. He expects her to be furious with him
* Instead, Molly is thrilled to find out about her mom so quickly. She tells Eamonn that she loves him and wants to be with him forever. The fact that they're blood relatives will remain their little secret. Molly's glad that she has an incestuous scandal just like her mom
* They make love one more time. Roll credits
A common criticism I’ve gotten, particularly with “Cruise Doouble-Date With My Sister” is that my characters are too accepting of incest. When I wrote the first draft, I decided that Sinead wouldn’t take the news about her mother well. It seemed much more realistic to me that way. Then Noel slowly wins her back.
Any other notes?
I was indecisive on how big Sinead’s tits should be. Originally, there were “large, but not huge.” Then they became “above-average size or bigger.” Then “average size or bigger”. Finally, they became “good-sized”. I wanted Sinead to be attractive for reasons besides having big tits, but later I came to decide that she had to have tits large enough that she got men’s attention quickly.
I’m looking for a new editor
The editor I worked with until recently is no longer responding to emails. My work is typically long but easy to edit as most of my errors are small things like leaving out a word and using two words instead of one, e.g. “night shirt” instead of “nightshirt”. I’d love an editor who is (1) a big fan of my writing, (2) technically very competent and (3) wants to go back and forth with me to improve my writing.
If you are interested, shoot me a PM. Include an email address or be sure that your Literotica account allows you to receive PM’s (the default is to reject them). Tell me how you would have edited this story differently.
The story behind the story
When I was writing Cruise Doubledate With My Sister, I split it in two to make it more manageable. I sent the first half to a beta-reader and asked him to guess what would happen next. He replied, “Caitlin wants to rear a family with Thomas - they move to Ireland (where I'm from!)” When I read his email, the entire story came to me.
My correspondent picked Cork as the initial setting, the name Sinead Hayes, the name Noel and the name Margaret. He suggested that Sinead studied at University College Cork. He suggested modeling Sinead’s looks on Rosanna Davison, Miss World 2003. Here is Rosanna Davison in a royal blue dress similar to what Sinead was wearing when Noel first meets her. As I’ve never been to Ireland and don’t know anyone who is Irish, I was planning on being totally dependent on my correspondent for local flavor. Initially I hoped that I would be able to submit “My European Summer Vacation” and another story, “My Brother Is My Inspiration”, for the 2015 Summer Lovin’ contest, but both were too long and I quickly realized that I wouldn’t be able to finish either in time. On 8/11/15, I sent my correspondent the first draft of the first half of the story. At that time, Sinead’s accent consisted of saying “mum” and “Yank”. After that, I didn’t hear from him for a long time. I got one last email where he mentioned he had been out of touch because of health and family issues and that was it. I felt I didn’t know enough about Ireland to continue working on the story and shelved it.
In September, the author Gorza posted a request for feedback on his story Exploring the Ring of Kerry. The story was about an Irish woman from Cork and an Englishman who eventually have sex in a bus traveling through Ireland. I loved the female character’s accent. I wanted Sinead to have a similar accent. Gorza offered to help me with this story, but I declined the help as I was in the middle of writing a different story, “Working with Little Sister”.
When I got “Working with Little Sister” up to over 30K words, I started having doubts about it. On 11/30/15, I sent a beta-reader what I had for “Working with Little Sister”, “My European Summer Vacation”, “My Brother Is My Inspiration” and a fourth story. His favorite was “My European Summer Vacation”. I decided to focus on the one he liked best and on January 13th, I finished the first draft of the complete story.
I did a little bit of research about an Irish accent and I reached out to Gorza for help. Unfortunately, he didn’t have time to help me. I did lots of research on the Cork accent and did my best to give Sinead one. I almost finished editing the story in February, but couldn’t find the energy to do the last few passes as I knew that I didn’t have Sinead and her dad’s accents right. I want my stories to be perfect and it bothered me that I didn’t know enough to get this story right. I reached out a number of times to try to get help with the story, but no luck. The story sat on my hard drive unfinished.
Then I saw that the 2016 Summer Lovin’ contest was coming up. That give me the impetus to finish this story.
Story clarifications
* One of the reasons Noel falls so quickly for Sinead is she sounds just like his beloved mother used to sound, which isn’t too surprising given that she’s his mother’s daughter and his mother and his mother’s mother raised Sinead for her first two years
* In Europe (some? All? Hopefully including Ireland), the floor numbering is ground floor, first floor, second floor, etc. So what is the second floor to Sinead would be the third floor to Noel
* Four-loaf cleaver joke is here, third from the bottom
* When Noel is confronted with the terrible news that his mother is almost certainly Sinead’s mother, he handles it in the classic way - denial. I originally had him feeling uneasy after she shows him the pictures and declines the opportunity to have sex with Sinead the next morning. I decided later that having Noel deny the obvious facts worked better as it makes the revelations from Mr. Hayes that much more of a punch to the gut
* Mr. Hayes refuses to put his comfortable life at risk. He views Sinead as a risk to it and while he says he wants Sinead to leave Ireland because she doesn’t have a future in Ireland, it’s because he wants her as far away from Maeve as possible. He felt that the secret of Sinead’s conception was just too dangerous to him to tell her while she’s in Ireland
* Sinead doesn’t really have a reaction to the fact that she’s been tricked into an incestuous relationship. When Noel tells her all about her mom, she feels overwhelming betrayed and there isn’t any emotional space to think about incest. She feels betrayed by both Noel and her dad, the two people she loves the most in the world
* When Noel makes Sinead the offer to join his family, there’s nothing greater to him that he can offer. He loves his family and has a very positive relationship with his sisters. The offer isn’t nearly as appealing to Sinead as Noel thinks it is because she has a negative relationship with her brothers
* After the Sinead’s tirade in Boston, Noel battles falling into depression. He keeps it at bay by doing household chores for himself and Sinead. All the guilt he has felt for the whole summer has taken a huge toll on him. If Sinead had left the apartment after her tirade, Noel would have had a mental breakdown
What happens next?
Noel and Sinead go over to his dad’s house and Noel introduces her to his family. Beyond that, I really don’t know. I don’t know immigration law. A beta-reader asked how could they get a marriage license in Boston if they are blood relatives. I have no idea what documentation they would need to provide.
My guess is that Noel and Sinead would get married quickly. I think she can apply for a green card once they are married. Their big vulnerability is her family. As long as they stay in Ireland, they should be fine. So another reason for the quick marriage - no need to explain why no relatives coming over. Does Sinead tell her dad that she’s marrying Noel? I think so. Does she tell her grandmam what happened to her mom and that she’s marrying her half-brother? A little iffy, but I think so.
One option would be for Emma, Lucy or Katie come over and it turns that she and Sinead are both bisexual and were lovers until Noel showed up. A threesome ensues. Or Emma, Lucy and Katie come over together and Noel services his little harem. Meh. Not particularly inventive stuff and I would consider it a big step down from the original story.
I have in my mind a scene where Sinead is eight month’s pregnant and she and Noel tell Erin and Riley their secret. Sinead’s grandmam is coming over to nanny their baby and they want Erin and Riley to know that she is their grandmother. Not much of a scene. There’s nothing else in my head.
What do I particularly like about this story?
* I think it’s a very strong story. I’ve gotten very positive feedback from beta-readers on this story
* The story has a number of plot twists that I hope the readers don’t see coming. I don’t think Sinead’s mom is Noel’s mom is surprising. His mom’s relationship with her cousin should be a shocker. Sinead’s offer to travel with Noel should be a shocker. Sinead’s furious rejection of becoming Noel’s sister should be a shocker
* This story required a ton more research than any other story I’ve done. I hope it pays off in terms of creating a realistic story
* More than most of my stories, is about two people falling in love. There’s a lot of the little things that make a romance
* I’ve read LOTS of incest stories. I’ve read some stories where the couple finds out after they’ve gotten involved that they are blood relatives. I haven’t cared for those stories as they don’t have what I find appealing about incest stories - being attracted to someone you know that you shouldn’t be attracted to. The reveal is always met with a shrug. I can only recall one story where the brother knows he’s fucking his sister while she doesn’t know. He considered it a cool thing and it made fucking her hotter. It wasn’t a big deal to her when he finally tells her. I can’t remember ever reading a story where one of the characters knows he’s related to his lover and struggles with it over an extended length of time. And of course in this story, the reveal doesn’t go well. So I’m proud that I wrote what I think is a unique story
What do I think I might get grief about?
* My getting Sinead and her dad’s accents wrong
* My getting details about Ireland and Europe wrong
* My getting details about an Irish citizen wanting to move to the US wrong
What were the inspirations for the sex scenes?
None really. Once I had the idea of having sex on the dining room table after dinner, I looked up some videos about sex on a dining room table. I found a video (since deleted) and this.
What of note got cut from this story
When Noel and Sinead left Paris, I had an extensive travelogue. There’s was a very big section set in an unnamed city where Sinead and Noel hang out with two other couples, sharing a room with them at the hostel. One of the couples proposes trading partners. The other couple agrees but Noel says no. Then there was a big sex scene where Noel convinces Sinead to loudly respond to his fucking while the other couples fuck in the room in the hostel. After the fuck, Noel tells Sinead he loves her for the first time.
A beta-reader said that the travel stuff was boring; that once Sinead and Noel start traveling, the looming confrontation in Boston was what was interesting. Consequently, I pared the travelogue way back.
Major editing changes for the story as it was written?
Here’s the end of the story from the story description I sent my Irish correspondent:
* Eamonn [later renamed Noel] shows Molly [later renamed Sinead] the pictures of his mom and tells her that she's Molly's mom too. He tells her everything that her father told him. He expects her to be furious with him
* Instead, Molly is thrilled to find out about her mom so quickly. She tells Eamonn that she loves him and wants to be with him forever. The fact that they're blood relatives will remain their little secret. Molly's glad that she has an incestuous scandal just like her mom
* They make love one more time. Roll credits
A common criticism I’ve gotten, particularly with “Cruise Doouble-Date With My Sister” is that my characters are too accepting of incest. When I wrote the first draft, I decided that Sinead wouldn’t take the news about her mother well. It seemed much more realistic to me that way. Then Noel slowly wins her back.
Any other notes?
I was indecisive on how big Sinead’s tits should be. Originally, there were “large, but not huge.” Then they became “above-average size or bigger.” Then “average size or bigger”. Finally, they became “good-sized”. I wanted Sinead to be attractive for reasons besides having big tits, but later I came to decide that she had to have tits large enough that she got men’s attention quickly.
I’m looking for a new editor
The editor I worked with until recently is no longer responding to emails. My work is typically long but easy to edit as most of my errors are small things like leaving out a word and using two words instead of one, e.g. “night shirt” instead of “nightshirt”. I’d love an editor who is (1) a big fan of my writing, (2) technically very competent and (3) wants to go back and forth with me to improve my writing.
If you are interested, shoot me a PM. Include an email address or be sure that your Literotica account allows you to receive PM’s (the default is to reject them). Tell me how you would have edited this story differently.
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