8letters
Writing
- Joined
- May 27, 2013
- Posts
- 2,108
Story is here.
This is a story that seemed destined to sit on my hard drive unfinished forever.
I had the story idea in December, 2017. No idea of the inspiration. My initial description of it was “Attached is the current idea I'm playing around with.”
That being said, I’ve come to the realization that bisexuality in I/T stories is typically treated in a cartoon-ish manner. Alan fucks Brittany and then Alan fucks Cathy. When Brittany and Cathy find out that Alan has fucked them both, do they get jealous? No! Instead, they change from straight to bisexual, and the one person they’re attracted to sexually is the other girl Alan is fucking. And their sexual attraction towards each other is all about putting on a show for Alan; there lust for each other never conflicts with Alan fucking them. As AwkwardMD put it, “MFF porn tends to fall very strongly in the 'male gaze' end of porn, and like you've found, the women tend to be afterthoughts. Life support systems to two sets of nice tits.” So my goal was to write a story where the women being bisexual was not something to please the main male character.
Once the story reached what I thought was 2/3’s done, I sent it to two people for feedback. The feedback was negative. After a while, the story stopped working for them. I sent it to the author AwkwardMD for feedback. She was very positive on it. I worked on it some more, but the story felt bloated and much too slow. In January 2018, I shelved it.
And then in 2021, a reader got me to look at the story again. I realized I could cut out a lot of the bloat if the story stayed from Mary's perspective. That was back in February of 2021. I thought about the story and thought about the story until I eventually put it on my list of stories to finish. I worked on it some between publishing “A Flirting Workshop with My Sister” and “A Week At The Lake With My Sister”. The first thing I did was cut out all of the scenes that weren’t from Mary’s point of view. There had been a huge scene where Sophia meets with Lizzy and eventually offers to get her a job at her firm. It took only a few paragraphs of Lizzy telling Mary and Matthew about her meeting with Sophia to replace it. Once everything was from Mary’s point of view, I felt it was a compelling story with a very different form of storytelling, something akin to “The Great Gatsby”.
I started working on it full-time after I published “My Sister, A Modern Rapunzel”. I had just the final sex scene to write. I had worked out in my head how I wanted the sex scene to go, but I had no idea how to write it from a female POV. I skimmed Lesbian Sex stories until I found one that had one woman receiving and then giving oral sex similar to what I wanted. I started with that, ripped out the dialog, and put in my own. I skimmed Lesbian Sex stories again to find one that had a sex scene where one of the woman used a vibrator on another. I ripped some things from that. Hopefully, I came out with something that is focused on the two bisexual women while remaining hot for male readers.
I sent the story to 17 people for beta-reading and got feedback from 9. One of the beta-readers suggested I break the dialog into lines of their own as much as possible. I’ve noticed when I read is that I skim the non-dialog portions of the story and look for the dialog parts. Putting things into quotes that aren’t dialog throw me off because I’m expecting it to be dialog. I decided to give it a try even though it involved lots of rewriting because being able to process my stories easily is very important to me. I don’t know if anyone will notice.
This is a story that seemed destined to sit on my hard drive unfinished forever.
I had the story idea in December, 2017. No idea of the inspiration. My initial description of it was “Attached is the current idea I'm playing around with.”
That being said, I’ve come to the realization that bisexuality in I/T stories is typically treated in a cartoon-ish manner. Alan fucks Brittany and then Alan fucks Cathy. When Brittany and Cathy find out that Alan has fucked them both, do they get jealous? No! Instead, they change from straight to bisexual, and the one person they’re attracted to sexually is the other girl Alan is fucking. And their sexual attraction towards each other is all about putting on a show for Alan; there lust for each other never conflicts with Alan fucking them. As AwkwardMD put it, “MFF porn tends to fall very strongly in the 'male gaze' end of porn, and like you've found, the women tend to be afterthoughts. Life support systems to two sets of nice tits.” So my goal was to write a story where the women being bisexual was not something to please the main male character.
Once the story reached what I thought was 2/3’s done, I sent it to two people for feedback. The feedback was negative. After a while, the story stopped working for them. I sent it to the author AwkwardMD for feedback. She was very positive on it. I worked on it some more, but the story felt bloated and much too slow. In January 2018, I shelved it.
And then in 2021, a reader got me to look at the story again. I realized I could cut out a lot of the bloat if the story stayed from Mary's perspective. That was back in February of 2021. I thought about the story and thought about the story until I eventually put it on my list of stories to finish. I worked on it some between publishing “A Flirting Workshop with My Sister” and “A Week At The Lake With My Sister”. The first thing I did was cut out all of the scenes that weren’t from Mary’s point of view. There had been a huge scene where Sophia meets with Lizzy and eventually offers to get her a job at her firm. It took only a few paragraphs of Lizzy telling Mary and Matthew about her meeting with Sophia to replace it. Once everything was from Mary’s point of view, I felt it was a compelling story with a very different form of storytelling, something akin to “The Great Gatsby”.
I started working on it full-time after I published “My Sister, A Modern Rapunzel”. I had just the final sex scene to write. I had worked out in my head how I wanted the sex scene to go, but I had no idea how to write it from a female POV. I skimmed Lesbian Sex stories until I found one that had one woman receiving and then giving oral sex similar to what I wanted. I started with that, ripped out the dialog, and put in my own. I skimmed Lesbian Sex stories again to find one that had a sex scene where one of the woman used a vibrator on another. I ripped some things from that. Hopefully, I came out with something that is focused on the two bisexual women while remaining hot for male readers.
I sent the story to 17 people for beta-reading and got feedback from 9. One of the beta-readers suggested I break the dialog into lines of their own as much as possible. I’ve noticed when I read is that I skim the non-dialog portions of the story and look for the dialog parts. Putting things into quotes that aren’t dialog throw me off because I’m expecting it to be dialog. I decided to give it a try even though it involved lots of rewriting because being able to process my stories easily is very important to me. I don’t know if anyone will notice.
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