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Ever look back...

Well, I've met the right person (and married her) and she turned out to be the wrong person for me, so we divorced, and then she became the right person for me but married somebody else. Does that count?
 
jehoram said:
Well, I've met the right person (and married her) and she turned out to be the wrong person for me, so we divorced, and then she became the right person for me but married somebody else. Does that count?
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LOL. I'm not quite sure... but it doesn't sound great.
 
_Odette_ said:
How do you know if they are the right person for you if it was the wrong time when you met? I look back sometimes and wonder what past lovers would be like now, but I choose not to dwell on the what ifs. They could be totally different and not vital to my life now.
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Maybe they weren't right for me, at the time. I was newly divorced and knew it wasn't the right time for me.
 
I met the right lady in 1970, and married her that year. We had 3 children together, never regretted it. Had a normal life together, full of up and downs. We didn't always see eye to eye, but we worked thru it. Then in 1994 he fell ill. For 5 years we fought tooth and nail against cancer. She had transplants and too many operations. In 1999, I lost her. I will be forever heartbroken that I didn't have the time necessary to make amends for all the wrongs I did.
 
I’ve dated quite a few guys and looking back there are a couple I’m sure I could have married and been happy with, but ultimately those relationships did end for reasons that made us not a perfect fit. People mature and change over time though, so it is reasonable to understand how someone who wasn’t the right fit for you at one point your life, might be a good one years down the road.
 
skitzoid said:
I met the right lady in 1970, and married her that year. We had 3 children together, never regretted it. Had a normal life together, full of up and downs. We didn't always see eye to eye, but we worked thru it. Then in 1994 he fell ill. For 5 years we fought tooth and nail against cancer. She had transplants and too many operations. In 1999, I lost her. I will be forever heartbroken that I didn't have the time necessary to make amends for all the wrongs I did.
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My condolences. Treasure the good memories. At least you have those.
 
skitzoid said:
I will be forever heartbroken that I didn't have the time necessary to make amends for all the wrongs I did.
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True love travels on a gravel road. While I'm quoting, a quote from a faith that I occasionally wander back to ... "for what I have done and what I have failed to do." I've been fortunate to have the time to work on some of mine while we're both healthy enough to heal.
 
I mentioned above I'm doing well with my wife and that's still true.

Others mentioned about right person, but not the right time. I had that as well.

Near the end of my college time I met a lady, or I should say she came up to me and insisted I was giving her a ride home after the softball game we were playing (opposite teams). The joke is I was playing first base, so I met her at First base.

She was a "serial dater" as in she dated a lot of guys and make no qualms about it. I think I was boyfriend number 54 and she just turned 19.

I was fine with that and we both expected to date that summer and I'd go back to school. Then I felt I wanted more and she did not, and I agreed to leave it casual. Then a few days later she changed her mind and wanted more too.

We went along for several weeks planning a future and then she broke up with me saying "she wasn't ready for me yet."

I was a bit dense at the time but later understood she saw she wasn't ready to give being a teenager and partying.

I think we could have been a good couple, but the time was not quite right. A year to two later for her and we might be together today.
 
It’s a puzzle. My High school (then college after a short break up) gf wanted to get married, like yesterday. I knew then we needed to grow up a bit and experience the world before that leap. I broke it off to go find myself. She couldn’t wait on me and I didn’t expect her to. I stand by it was the best thing for both of us.

We weren’t exactly a fit then but now, all these years on, knowing how both our lives have turned out, she would be a good fit now. At the time I honestly think we’d of been a divorce statistic, but she would be an excellent fit in my life as it stands now.

My wife now goes in cycles. We’re in an uptick as we speak so she’s still in the “good fit” column!
 
Do I ever look back? Yes, I do and when I do I have to keep reminding myself that I was dealing with two women in the same body, one I couldn't live with and the other I couldn't live without. I still miss the one I couldn't live without but it wasn't worth trying to live with the other one.
 
Had “one that got away”. Had a huge crush on her in college. I was dating someone else my freshman year, we flirted for a while after that but nothing ever came of it. Didn’t finally start going on dates until we were about to graduate. When we graduated, those few dates weren’t enough to carry us into a full blown relationship. Still wonder what it would have been like if we had dated earlier.
 
Michael_Keaton said:
Do I ever look back? Yes, I do and when I do I have to keep reminding myself that I was dealing with two women in the same body, one I couldn't live with and the other I couldn't live without. I still miss the one I couldn't live without but it wasn't worth trying to live with the other one.
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Well said. When my first wife and I split, I tried to explain the same thoughts to a coworker "I miss my wife, but I don't miss the person my wife turned into". She couldn't wrap her head around a thought like that, but then I found out her ex was an abusive SOB and she couldn't even think back to why she found him attractive in the first place.
 
Hipshot1554 said:
Have you ever realized that you met the right person for you, at the wrong time in your life?
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More than once. And once, very recently.

The lady was kinky as fuck. Nothing was off the table. She even got off on the idea of me fucking around, and using it to humiliate her after.

The trouble is, 'kinky as fuck' only covers a small part of your time together. Had we met years ago, I think we would have been more compatible, but now our lives outside the bedroom are too different.
 
magic_rat said:
More than once. And once, very recently.

The lady was kinky as fuck. Nothing was off the table. She even got off on the idea of me fucking around, and using it to humiliate her after.

The trouble is, 'kinky as fuck' only covers a small part of your time together. Had we met years ago, I think we would have been more compatible, but now our lives outside the bedroom are too different.
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I've been in that same boat. Met someone soon after my divorce and the timing couldn't have been worse, for several reasons.
 
Hipshot1554 said:
I've been in that same boat. Met someone soon after my divorce and the timing couldn't have been worse, for several reasons.
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I like to think that it happened for a reason. Since parting with her I'm now in an ENM (ethical non-monogamy) relationship with 2 women. I'm having my cake and eating it too.
 
Hipshot1554 said:
Have you ever realized that you met the right person for you, at the wrong time in your life?
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Twice. Once twenty years ago. We were together for a year and then he went back home overseas. And again about five years ago, very slow burn, just getting started and he married a woman! First time I was too weak or stupid to go after him, second time I didn’t want to ruin his life. But hey, thanks for asking…..
 
Michael_Keaton said:
Do I ever look back? Yes, I do and when I do I have to keep reminding myself that I was dealing with two women in the same body, one I couldn't live with and the other I couldn't live without. I still miss the one I couldn't live without but it wasn't worth trying to live with the other one.
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I think I lived with her twin brother at one time
 
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