I remember when I lost my mind!

[Vitriolhack]

I remember when I lost my mind!

This is conversation between friends, not necessarily sexual, but one that highlights past moments that have shattered your beliefs.

The first time I lost my mind I must have been 8 or 9 when I was told that Santa was not real. I know, ridiculous in retrospect but to a young boy, I shattered me.

The same thing happened in the religious school I went to, I never really fit in, but at 13, I had to pretend to be a good boy and accept anything we were told by our various religious teachers.

 

[Nightspeed]

I remember when I lost mine very, very well. My first complete breakdown happened in the spring of 1987 when a passionate, stormy, and emotionally, mentally abusive relationship ended (I was the one being abused and yet, even now, if she crooked a finger in my direction I'd fall at her feet). I literally slipped into a state of psychotic delusion where I really thought I was some sort of cosmically powerful sorcerer for nearly a year, and I still bear the emotional scars to this day and even now I have memories of things I may or may not have done during that time. I can't tell if they're memories of actual events at all in some cases. It's the root of the PTSD that has led me to where I am today, a victim of general and social anxiety, as well as panic attacks that have sent me to the hospital with symptoms mimicking heart attacks. Almost exactly 20 years later I had a second one and it resulted in the loss of my last job and the ability to hold a job at all.

 

[Athalia]

For me, I think it was in my twenties when I started drifting into self-wounding. I knew that there was some part of me that was calling out for attention, but it wasn't until I started seeing a therapist who linked it to sexual abuse I'd suffered as a teenager that I started to get a grip on it and see what I needed. As poster #2 noted, the effects last for years and I can't say I'm totally over it even now, a half a century later.

 

[Vitriolhack]

For me, I think it was in my twenties when I started drifting into self-wounding. I knew that there was some part of me that was calling out for attention, but it wasn't until I started seeing a therapist who linked it to sexual abuse I'd suffered as a teenager that I started to get a grip on it and see what I needed. As poster #2 noted, the effects last for years and I can't say I'm totally over it even now, a half a century later.

Most of us will have or have had to face some life altering moments that will forever shatter our belief system.

Some things (I am not referring to your life experiences here) cannot be excused but maybe at times forgiven, if only for therapeutic reasons; sadly they can never be forgotten and every so often terrible memories come back to haunt us.

Sending you positive thoughts and hugs Athalia.

 

[Jasmine12345]

I remember when I lost my mind!

This is conversation between friends, not necessarily sexual, but one that highlights past moments that have shattered your beliefs.

The first time I lost my mind I must have been 8 or 9 when I was told that Santa was not real. I know, ridiculous in retrospect but to a young boy, I shattered me.

The same thing happened in the religious school I went to, I never really fit in, but at 13, I had to pretend to be a good boy and accept anything we were told by our various religious teachers.

I thought this would be more about 'awakening' one's mind than 'losing' it.

 

[Vitriolhack]

I thought this would be more about 'awakening' one's mind than 'losing' it.

You are not wrong in your assessment Jasmine. Overcoming hardships is also a topic I deeply care about. So, if someone feels the need to share something personal and, in a modicum way, it helps them feel better, then, I am happy that this thread exists.

Feel free to post your preferred awakening or ludicrous moments you have had! Or any moment that blew your mind!

 

[jehoram]

I thought this would be more about 'awakening' one's mind than 'losing' it.

Sometimes "awakening" happens as a direct consequence of "losing" one's mind.

I think my first LSD trip, back when rocks were soft, was like that. I felt totally disassociated with any reality I had before, and I was getting warped perceptions (like the dry sidewalks glistening like wet ones, a melody I hadn't heard before now threading through my consciousness, etc.) that I would have thought associated with a state of going insane. But it was just another state of mind, and I reassured myself that I would be back to normal in eight hours or so, but with a memory of the trip and the realization that perceptions and sensations could be malleable.

 

[FGB]

Didn't Lose it... just felt like it might be possible.
Just needed a good brainwashing... and a Tool kit with some bright shiny new tools to learn to use.
Thirty-six days and they made me go back to the real world...bastards!
Five years so to learn how to deal with life and myself.

Wasn't THAT simple!