DG's Dubious Dicctionary

[Dirt Man]

Azores:

What it sounds like when a man is eating one pussy, whilest another is buggering him in the arse with a plastic dildo. As in "Hey! Your giving me azores! (A sore ass)"


Just trying to keep this link going is all. Imagine, after being off line for so long only to find out when I return that my best co-author is out somewhere on the town flirting around with Dirt Gurl.

As Always
I Am the
Dirt Man

 

[Quasimodem]

Bye until Friday. Don y'all make a fuss whilst I'm away. MG ...

So THAT's what happened!

On Thursday, I asked THE QUESTION especially for MathGirl, and she wasn't here to answer it.

Well, she can't expect more charity from me, until next year.

 

[MathGirl]

Woo woo woo

She's baaaaaaaaaack.

Ps. Nice to hear from DM. He's mainly responsible for the deathless prose found in the "Patty and the Teacher" series. DG and I just used him to get our name on something.
MG

 

[Guest]

 

[MathGirl]

Welcome back MathGirl. Away doing something fun I hope?

Dear PS,
Oh, yes. Santa Barbara, new camera, new car, same man. I'll never trade him in.
MG
Ps. Bad news: DG's Dubious Dictionary will return soon.

 

[Dirty Slut]

Re: Woo woo woo

Originally posted by MathGirl
She's baaaaaaaaaack.

Ps. Nice to hear from DM. He's mainly responsible for the deathless prose found in the "Patty and the Teacher" series. DG and I just used him to get our name on something.
MG

How come I never get used like that? LOL

DS

 

[Wills]

Hope you had nice Hols' MG

Been stuck for words without you.

Will's

 

[whispering_surrender]

*drags out and polishes off the welcome back dance*

Since noone can fill your shoes darlin'.

Whisper

 

[Wills]

OK MG

Enough Holidays. Us hard working authors have had no end of difficult challenges to contend with, pithy 150 word geek descriptions and now some one wants us to write about two deaf nuns.

We Need Words.

Also that sheep needs Christmas decorations.

Will's (Holding back H & K's for a final warning)

 

[MathGirl]

You were warned........

Dear WS and Wills,
Those were nice thoughts, thank you. Now look what you get in return! It just isn't fair.
MG

AHISMA: A traditional Scottish method for removal of cerumen accumulation. A pinch of finely ground pepper is wafted into the nose of the subject. Just before the first violent sternutation, the nostrils are pinched closed and the mouth is occluded with with a tight gag. The ensuing sneeze carries away the earwax encrustations, the tympanum, and many components of the inner ear.

AKLOVINOMETER: A primitive instrument once used to measure pain. The scale ranged from 0 to 10. A reading of 1 approximated the discomfort of a mild sunburn. The other extreme of the scale was reached when the aklovines were placed on a cold anvil and struck sharply with a wooden mallet.

ALANNAH: Term of endearment used with one's child.* E.g. "Mah goodness, Ellie Sue, y'all agettin' ta be quite the young lady. Whatter yew, mah li'l alannah, 'bout eleven? Come on inta bed with your ol' pappy fer a few minutes. Jist to git warm, ya know."

ALBATA: A weapon of dubious merit developed during the Hundred Years War. An explosive charge was placed on the end of a long pole, the fuse lit, and extended towards the enemy. The detonation was usually more injurious to the albatador than the enemy for which it was intended. Historians consider the albata to be the nadir of the "Three Stooges" era of weapons research and development.

 

[Guest]

Welcome back, Maths! Gawdalmighty I missed that big butt. And you.

kiss, hug

Perdita

oops:

 

[Dingus Guy]

I have my own dubious dictionary?

I can't even speel, not sure how I got a dictionary named after me.

 

[whispering_surrender]

Re: You were warned........

AHISMA: A traditional Scottish method for removal of cerumen accumulation. A pinch of finely ground pepper is wafted into the nose of the subject. Just before the first violent sternutation, the nostrils are pinched closed and the mouth is occluded with with a tight gag. The ensuing sneeze carries away the earwax encrustations, the tympanum, and many components of the inner ear.

That reminds me of a great Calvin and Hobbes where he was convinced if he could hold his eyes open whilst sneezing they would pop out of his head......*laughs*

It's so good to have you back. *restrains hugging impulse*

Whisper

 

[MathGirl]

ALALIA: Loss of the ability to speak.* E.g. "Donald, help! I think I'm getting alal..... .......... ...................................................................!"

ALECOST: Costmary. An herb used to flavor ale.* Reputed to have the bouquet of high-grade rooster excrement.

ALCAHEST: The alchemical universal solvent.* Its discovery gave rise to sentences frequently heard amongst the Brotherhood of Alchemists. E.g. "Urethra, Leonardo! We finally found .... now, where the fuck did it go?" -and- "What the hell we gonna keep this shit in, Dr Newton?"

ALEXIPHARMIC: Of or pertaining to the time-honored practice of burning down and looting drug stores in protest against high prescription prices.

ALIBLE: Possessed of good appetite. The prototypically alible person was Haystack Calhoun, the 600 pound professional wrestler. The late Mr Calhoun was considered "well nourished."

Ps. WS, P: I know I'm almost irresistible, but let's please keep those H and K impulses under control.

 

[Icingsugar]

Darn. I knew there was something missing in the AH the last weeks, I just couldn't put my finger on it.

And here you are, MG.

Am I supposed to put my finger on you now, or what? Until further notice, I'll keep it to myself. You may have scissors.

/Ice - enough non h-k for ya?

 

[MathGirl]

ALLEMAIN: enormous pudding out of which acrobats leap.* This, of course, raises the ubiquitous question: "Why?"

ALLOCHTHONAMIA: The vague, uncomfortable feeling that one has had a hidden device attached to an intimate part of oneself during a time of sleep or inattention. It is attended by a nagging fear that a foreign power may be carrying on audio-visual monitoring of the activity of ones anal sphincter. (Most readers will have experienced allochthonamia at times. The editor certainly has).

ALLOTRIOPHAGY: Craving for strange foods.* E.g. "Jesus Christ, Vertie! I kin understan' a pregnant woman wantin' radish sherbet an' hot dogs with chocolate sauce, but the damn kid's five years old now."

ALMACANTAR: Circle of altitude, parallel to the horizon.* The definition of this word is irrelevant. It is an extremely cool word. Merely reading or saying "almacantar" evokes vague visions of exotica; Moorish, perhaps. A mundane definition, obfuscant as it is, only serves to make an excellent word pedestrian. Ed.

Ps. Dear Ding, Wrong DG.
Dear Ici, Yes, that's sufficient. Nice to be missed, even if the feeling is rather vague.

 

[Dingus Guy]

MG

I was just kidding - DG

 

[MathGirl]

ALLANTIASIS: Food poisoning resulting from inadequate preservation.* E.g. "After addition of the rhubarb-mayonnaise mixture, garnish with skunk cabbage. The potato salad is then put into a tightly sealed container and left in the sun for at least six hours. Serve at room temperature, with an ambulance in attendance."

ALLEMANDE: Courtly baroque dance during which the gentleman's testicles are fondled by the lady using a scented lace handkerchief.

ALLOGRAPHY: Writing the signature of another person.* A practice common amongst a subsociety of personal check writers. The allographicant thereby derives access to and benefit from funds in the checking account without the annoying red tape of actually owning the account. Considered a minor social faux pas in some cultures.

ALLOGAMY: Cross-fertilization.* E.g. "Aww, Hootie Sue, yer so sweet. Iffen we don't git ta the allogamy purty quick, though, I thank ma nuts is agonna 'splode."

 

[Dirt Man]

ALLANTIASIS: Food poisoning resulting from inadequate preservation.* E.g. "After addition of the rhubarb-mayonnaise mixture, garnish with skunk cabbage. The potato salad is then put into a tightly sealed container and left in the sun for at least six hours. Serve at room temperature, with an ambulance in attendance."

ALLEMANDE: Courtly baroque dance during which the gentleman's testicles are fondled by the lady using a scented lace handkerchief.

ALLOGRAPHY: Writing the signature of another person.* A practice common amongst a subsociety of personal check writers. The allographicant thereby derives access to and benefit from funds in the checking account without the annoying red tape of actually owning the account. Considered a minor social faux pas in some cultures.

ALLOGAMY: Cross-fertilization.* E.g. "Aww, Hootie Sue, yer so sweet. Iffen we don't git ta the allogamy purty quick, though, I thank ma nuts is agonna 'splode."

Damn baby! You sure got a vocabulary on you, don't you.

As Always
I Am the
Dirt Man

 

[MathGirl]

ALPACA: Fine wool made from alpaca hair.* Aside from its normal usage, the word is quite versatile. E.g. "Gimme three minutes, Floyd, and alpaca suitcase."

ALK: 1. Sap from turpentine trees.* 2. A common misspelling of the name of a large ruminant of the deer family, the wapiti. 3. The last sound uttered by the subject before performing ahisma (qv).

ALIPHATIC: Pertaining to fats or fat in general.* E.g. Messers Waller and Domino. Also Bill Cosby's "Albert" and a certain New Orleans Tuesday.

ALPHITOPHOBIA: The irrational fear of awakening with a sasquach sitting on one's face. A neuropsychiatric condition not uncommon in lumberjacks. Yetiphobia.

ALTERAGE: Payment to a priest for a mass.* In the case of young boys, this sometimes takes the form of a quick game of "drop the soap" in the shower.

Ps. DM, Thank you for noticing.

 

[MathGirl]

ALPHITOMANCER: Divination using loaves of barley.* E.g. "Goddammit, Martha, how the hell am I supposed to be the Royal Alphitomancer with shit like this ta work with? These here barley loaves look like victims of a napalm attack. Aintcha never gonna larn how ta cook?"

ALVIDUCOUS: Purgative.* E.g. "Gosh, Mr Cosgrove, I'm terribly sorry about your toilet. That lemonade had an alviducous effect on me. Got any industrial strength air freshener?"

ALPHONSIN: Instrument used to extract bullets from bodies.* In contrast, the "gastonsin" (qv) is a .45 caliber instrument used to introduce bullets into bodies.

ALTRICIAL: Having young requiring care for a lengthy period.* E.g. "I know toilet training can be a difficult process, Mrs Farquar, but I didn't appreciate what Little Joey just did all over my examination table. Besides, he's going to start college next month."

Ps. Where the hell is the Swede when I need her?
MG

 

[MathGirl]

NOTICE: Since DG has long since stopped contributing to this thread, the wise and humane course of action would be to simply give the whole damn thing up. Never one to show mercy to my fellow AHers, though, I've decided to continue the Dubious Dictionary under my own name. Also, the title of the thread will not have any misspellings.

Look for MG's Dubious Dictionary, doubtlessly due to debut Dhursday.
MG
Ps. The last I saw of DG, she was being treated for something she claimed to have picked up from a toilet seat. Can't remember the name of the disease, but it's something like applause.

 

[Dingus Guy]

someone call me?

Ummm...I was always better than Math, but that was 20 some odd years ago, and I certainly will not challenge anyone named Mathgirl to a "Divisional" Playoff. Since I am not a good speeler I concede my thread to her. Not sure how I got it in the first place, but I was honored to see it nonetheless.

Marty the Midget's Erotic Christmas

 

[damppanties]

It is The DG.

Not just any DG.

 

[Dingus Guy]

So....

What you trying to tell me?

(Puts cork into ear so brain matter leak won't be as severe)

You trying to say this thread is about Durtgurl? I beg to differ. You see the initials are "DG" as in Dingus Guy, moi. Durtgurl would be just "D". See my point? Even if I don't own a dictionary, you can't tell me that this thread isn't dedicated to me. It is the holiday season don't take this small thing away from me.