Demonizing sex workers

[EmilyMiller]

My fiftieth story is about a sex worker. A sex worker who is married (apparently happily) and has a young child.

Now I posted it in LW. I wasn’t expecting a rating of 5 ️ and universal acclaim (as ever, the majority of people were kind, even the anon ones).

But this isn’t a whinge about this. It about comments like “no man would let his wife do that” and “no man would marry a whore” and “what do they tell the child about her disgusting work?”

There was (as maybe is to be suspected) condemnation of the woman and (as it’s LW) her husband. But none for the clients.

Is this odd on a sex site? Or are sex workers not human beings too?

Em

PS This isn’t really about my story (hence no link) it’s about attitudes to prostitution on Literotica

 

[SimonDoom]

You published it in LW, pure and simple. It doesn't reflect widespread views at Literotica about prostitution. It also doesn't neatly fit into the types of stories that usually make up LW.

 

[samhasstories]

I've never ventured into this LW people keep speaking of, but it seems like a dark place. I don't often go far from exhibitionist & voyeur (EV?).

 

[Fatdog25]

Because it's easier to blame "them" than "us".

 

[HordHolm]

My fiftieth story is about a sex worker. A sex worker who is married (apparently happily) and has a young child.

Now I posted it in LW. I wasn’t expecting a rating of 5 ️ and universal acclaim (as ever, the majority of people were kind, even the anon ones).

But this isn’t a whinge about this. It about comments like “no man would let his wife do that” and “no man would marry a whore” and “what do they tell the child about her disgusting work?”

There was (as maybe is to be suspected) condemnation of the woman and (as it’s LW) her husband. But none for the clients.

Is this odd on a sex site? Or are sex workers not human beings too?

Em

PS This isn’t really about my story (hence no link) it’s about attitudes to prostitution on Literotica

I fear that, whilst @SimonDoom might be partly right, even on a site such as this we will get a reflection of attitudes in wider society. And in wider society sex workers have been demonised since forever. Even in places where the act of selling oneself isn't criminalised, and where attitudes are shifting, it's a slow process.

 

[SyleusSnow]

Is this odd on a sex site? Or are sex workers not human beings too?

Oh, I think we know the answer there. The BTB folk in LW don't view women as human beings.

But yeah, female sex workers are always demonized, not the patrons, even by the people who enjoy their services... "I wouldn't have strayed if not for that filthy whore. And I'll tell her that at our regular appointment next week"

 

[B2fromA2looking4U]

Is this odd on a sex site? Or are sex workers not human beings too?

Is it odd for the derogatory or disparaging comments about a wife who is a sex worker on this site? There are so many Lit members from all over the world that I am not surprised you received such comments.

Are sex workers human beings and I assume you mean they also deserve respect? Of course, they do. In the county where I live, the county elected prosecutor has issued a public statement saying the office will not prosecute sex workers or their clients. His argument is that the county has more important crimes to prosecute.

I was tempted to contract with a sex worker after my wife died after a 2-year battle with cancer. My issue (no judgement to others) was so many were so young, I felt it to be incestuous. So, I did not use their services.

I read one story here about the feelings of an old widower who went to a sex worker and it felt odd to him. I would like to see more real stories about feeling of a sex worker and their clients.

 

[SimonDoom]

I fear that, whilst @SimonDoom might be partly right, even on a site such as this we will get a reflection of attitudes in wider society. And in wider society sex workers have been demonised since forever. Even in places where the act of selling oneself isn't criminalised, and where attitudes are shifting, it's a slow process.

Literotica is a huge place, and it's not surprising that its large readership would reflect a wide variety of views, even if it probably skews in the direction of more "kink-tolerant" than other places. Prostitution still is illegal in most places in the US, so it's not surprising that many would have negative attitudes about it.

 

[Lifestyle66]

The different attitudes toward demonizing the sex worker and not the client comes from various angles.

To some, it's like alcohol abuse, where some family members blame the bars and the alcohol for the father/son/husband coming home drunk. Blame the sex worker for taking the guy's money from the family's budget and making him pay for sex (as if he had no choice).

In other cases, it's about power. People tend to dislike or even hate those who have power over them. And some men might see the sex worker (or women in general) as exploiting their own weakness for wanting and needing sex so badly they'll have to pay for it.

And to many wives, they hold their marriage vows of fidelity like a club over the husbands. Yes, I know "It's her body and HER choice." But to many wives, when their husband can go out and find relief elsewhere with a sex worker, the wife loses some of her power over her husband.


EDIT: I know one longtime married couple, where the husband found a mistress because his wife no longer wanted to have sex with him. When the wife found out about his extra-marital sex, he confronted her with "You can't tolerate sex with me, so just think of it as OUTSOURCING the job!" (That didn't go over well with her, and they divorced.)

 

[EmilyMiller]

You published it in LW, pure and simple. It doesn't reflect widespread views at Literotica about prostitution. It also doesn't neatly fit into the types of stories that usually make up LW.

I get that. But I find the hypocrisy even more shocking than the misogyny of the vocal LW minority.

It kinda feels like two (incompatible) things:

1. All women are whores (particularly the bitch who left me)
2. Whores aren’t people

Em

 

[EmilyMiller]

I've never ventured into this LW people keep speaking of, but it seems like a dark place. I don't often go far from exhibitionist & voyeur (EV?).

Many of the people there are fine, nice even. There is just a less pleasant minority who make their presence known.

Em

 

[EmilyMiller]

Because it's easier to blame "them" than "us".

That’s the vibe I got.

While there are lesbian sex workers, the main reason that most exist is, well, men.

Em

 

[EmilyMiller]

I fear that, whilst @SimonDoom might be partly right, even on a site such as this we will get a reflection of attitudes in wider society. And in wider society sex workers have been demonised since forever. Even in places where the act of selling oneself isn't criminalised, and where attitudes are shifting, it's a slow process.

Am I naive to think we are capable of growth and kindness as a species? I am, aren’t I?

Em

 

[EmilyMiller]

Oh, I think we know the answer there. The BTB folk in LW don't view women as human beings.

But yeah, female sex workers are always demonized, not the patrons, even by the people who enjoy their services... "I wouldn't have strayed if not for that filthy whore. And I'll tell her that at our regular appointment next week"

Ah! I get it now. Makes sense.

Em

 

[SimonDoom]

I get that. But I find the hypocrisy even more shocking than the misogyny of the vocal LW minority.

It kinda feels like two (incompatible) things:

1. All women are whores (particularly the bitch who left me)
2. Whores aren’t people

Em

People with grievances, even imagined grievances, don't hold their views to rigorous logical standards or consistency. I don't know if they think all women are whores, but they think the ones who have sex outside marriage are and that they are bad.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Is it odd for the derogatory or disparaging comments about a wife who is a sex worker on this site? There are so many Lit members from all over the world that I am not surprised you received such comments.

Are sex workers human beings and I assume you mean they also deserve respect? Of course, they do. In the county where I live, the county elected prosecutor has issued a public statement saying the office will not prosecute sex workers or their clients. His argument is that the county has more important crimes to prosecute.

I was tempted to contract with a sex worker after my wife died after a 2-year battle with cancer. My issue (no judgement to others) was so many were so young, I felt it to be incestuous. So, I did not use their services.

I read one story here about the feelings of an old widower who went to a sex worker and it felt odd to him. I would like to see more real stories about feeling of a sex worker and their clients.

While not exactly the same. I’ve written about a bereaved man joining a gang bang (no money involved. I’d appreciate your thoughts.

Fragile

Em

 

[EmilyMiller]

People with grievances, even imagined grievances, don't hold their views to rigorous logical standards or consistency. I don't know if they think all women are whores, but they think the ones who have sex outside marriage are and that they are bad.

I know. As you say, it’s feelings not logic. Which is a major problem in many aspects of human endeavor.

Em

 

[Cagivagurl]

My fiftieth story is about a sex worker. A sex worker who is married (apparently happily) and has a young child.

Now I posted it in LW. I wasn’t expecting a rating of 5 ️ and universal acclaim (as ever, the majority of people were kind, even the anon ones).

But this isn’t a whinge about this. It about comments like “no man would let his wife do that” and “no man would marry a whore” and “what do they tell the child about her disgusting work?”

There was (as maybe is to be suspected) condemnation of the woman and (as it’s LW) her husband. But none for the clients.

Is this odd on a sex site? Or are sex workers not human beings too?

Em

PS This isn’t really about my story (hence no link) it’s about attitudes to prostitution on Literotica

Don't feel like you're being persecuted.
There is a small but very noisy right wing readers within LW.
They hate, and comment with vehemence on any story where the wife has sex outside of marriage. If the woman isn't beaten, burnt at the stake, or mutilated and humiliated. Then it gets an immediate one vote, and a raft of disgusting comments.
Not all LW readers are like that.
The LW category explains what it was set up for. (Extramarital sex.)
The noisy minority who want to see nothing but murder porn try and bully any writer who doesn't write what they want to read.
It makes them feel manly to comment negatively.
Don't let it get you down. I know that's easier said than done. Try to ignore them, and please don't let them disuade you from writing whatever you want to.
Enough people enjoyed it to give it a reasonable score.
Personally, I found it a refreshing change. It was well written, and highlighted a world most don't get to look into.
Well done you.
Cagivagurl

 

[HordHolm]

Am I naive to think we are capable of growth and kindness as a species? I am, aren’t I?

Em

No, you're not naive. We don't burn old ladies who own black cats any more. We might grumble about them behind their back, but we stop short of murdering them.

 

[SimonDoom]

Am I naive to think we are capable of growth and kindness as a species? I am, aren’t I?

Em

We're much kinder than we used to be. The idea of being kind to people who are different as a general principle is fairly new. So, I do not believe you are naive on that point.

 

[samhasstories]

Am I naive to think we are capable of growth and kindness as a species? I am, aren’t I?

Em

Keyword here is capable - we just have to try to remember that a troubling number of us will fall short of that capability.

 

[Lifestyle66]

Am I naive to think we are capable of growth and kindness as a species? I am, aren’t I?

Em

Yes, you're naive.

As I alluded to in my other post here: MOST people (men and women) dislike those in powerful positions, who have power over them. They don't blame the powerless for their weakness. They blame the one in power for exploiting the weak.

And when it comes to sex, many see that dynamic as the sex worker holding the power to choose who, how much, what ,,, The client is the weak one in that dynamic.

And that dislike of the one wielding the power is unlikely to change very soon.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Don't feel like you're being persecuted.
There is a small but very noisy right wing readers within LW.
They hate, and comment with vehemence on any story where the wife has sex outside of marriage. If the woman isn't beaten, burnt at the stake, or mutilated and humiliated. Then it gets an immediate one vote, and a raft of disgusting comments.
Not all LW readers are like that.
The LW category explains what it was set up for. (Extramarital sex.)
The noisy minority who want to see nothing but murder porn try and bully any writer who doesn't write what they want to read.
It makes them feel manly to comment negatively.
Don't let it get you down. I know that's easier said than done. Try to ignore them, and please don't let them disuade you from writing whatever you want to.
Enough people enjoyed it to give it a reasonable score.
Personally, I found it a refreshing change. It was well written, and highlighted a world most don't get to look into.
Well done you.
Cagivagurl

Thank, angel .

I’m not down about it. My skin is thicker than it used to be. Or maybe I’m just more certain of who I am and what I want.

I’m drawn to writing different experiences. Though my story was still a fetishized version of sex work, I don’t think it was romanticized (the romantic ending isn’t about the FMC’s work).

Em

 

[EmilyMiller]

No, you're not naive. We don't burn old ladies who own black cats any more. We might grumble about them behind their back, but we stop short of murdering them.

This is indeed progress .

Em

 

[gunhilltrain]

Well, I guess it's time for some self-promotion because I just published one such story. I've tried to write some stories about prostitution from the point of view of the women who do it. I don't know what makes me qualified to do that hey, fiction is making things up, right? I think I was trying to show them in a sympathetic light, but their ambivalence about it shows through anyway. Nora shows up in several stories.

https://classic.literotica.com/s/freshman-hooker

She reveals more details here:

https://classic.literotica.com/s/college-hooking-memories-ch-01

As a senior, she is recruited to be a dominatrix. This starts in third person and moves to first person. Not recommended as a technique, but I "kitbashed" two stories into one.

https://classic.literotica.com/s/nora-works-as-a-dominatrix