Ive got this gf who’s like obsessed with me, like just will not give it a rest about how she thinks I’m such a narcicist. She’s all watching these guys on YouTube all the time, who talk about narcisists with like the abuse victim mentality and all that. I guess you might call her a codependent, she’s got a track record of really serious monogamous relationships, with someone she was so devoted to, despite how abusive they are against her. I know, a lotta trouble to be avoided by letting this one go by, but I can’t help myself, I want to help this person. She’s the only girl who even so much as pretends to love me, and I just want to be loved by someone. So perhaps someone who pretends to love me, because they are actually incapable of it, is just a bit better than being alone…optimistically. But then here we have this tantalizing opportunity to me, the chance to actually open someone’s eye for the first time, help them expand their mind and unfold a truly amazing experience of reality that they’ve cut themselves off from, literally can’t even imagine. Ppl in this state literally cannot even perceive of so much going on around them that would be positive for them and everybody they care about.
Like I’ve considered that I may in fact be a narcicist, like maybe there’s something to it, what she’s saying about me. Tbh I see my self as an empath, thru and thru - I give great head I really do, I enjoy it every bit as much as my partner; if someone is willing and receptive to what I can do, I’ve been told it’s literally intoxicating. I can be like a drug if you’ll let me. But this is only because I am paying attention to her reactions to me, and constantly altering what I put out based on how it’s received, and in reverse as well, in a constantly evolving dynamic of mutual give and take that’s true intimacy.
Someone like her tho, it’s just always taking, very little giving that is perfunctory at best. This person literally has no concept of anyone existing with feelings outside of herself and her own 1-way experience. And she really does see herself as the victim of everything she experiences of reality, acts like all these things happening to her are just completely unrelated to her own behavior that’s causing it in the first place, to her she is a victim of circumstances outside of her control and then what can u do about it once it’s already happening to u, ya know?
How to help somebody like this, who is to give feedback to my girl, without her hearing it as criticism? What am I doing wrong, like anything I say she will literally stop so she can throw a fit about it as if my criticism is just so unbearable. How do I say it in a way that’s constructive? Because this is something she receives from me wholeheartedly, I luv to give too, but when it comes her time to give back the best I can hope for is a lame perfunctory act like it’s a chore, where she just refuses to do anything I ask her to try that’s a little different, just belligerently doesn’t listen. She’ll just stop and flip out about criticism or start slowing down just as im getting close, and then stop just before I actually get off and act like she thought I had finished (because of a little pre cum) and im just like so unbelievably frustrated about this
Like I’ve considered that I may in fact be a narcicist, like maybe there’s something to it, what she’s saying about me. Tbh I see my self as an empath, thru and thru - I give great head I really do, I enjoy it every bit as much as my partner; if someone is willing and receptive to what I can do, I’ve been told it’s literally intoxicating. I can be like a drug if you’ll let me. But this is only because I am paying attention to her reactions to me, and constantly altering what I put out based on how it’s received, and in reverse as well, in a constantly evolving dynamic of mutual give and take that’s true intimacy.
Someone like her tho, it’s just always taking, very little giving that is perfunctory at best. This person literally has no concept of anyone existing with feelings outside of herself and her own 1-way experience. And she really does see herself as the victim of everything she experiences of reality, acts like all these things happening to her are just completely unrelated to her own behavior that’s causing it in the first place, to her she is a victim of circumstances outside of her control and then what can u do about it once it’s already happening to u, ya know?
How to help somebody like this, who is to give feedback to my girl, without her hearing it as criticism? What am I doing wrong, like anything I say she will literally stop so she can throw a fit about it as if my criticism is just so unbearable. How do I say it in a way that’s constructive? Because this is something she receives from me wholeheartedly, I luv to give too, but when it comes her time to give back the best I can hope for is a lame perfunctory act like it’s a chore, where she just refuses to do anything I ask her to try that’s a little different, just belligerently doesn’t listen. She’ll just stop and flip out about criticism or start slowing down just as im getting close, and then stop just before I actually get off and act like she thought I had finished (because of a little pre cum) and im just like so unbelievably frustrated about this
