ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received

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AngelicAssassin said:
Why? Did Stupe ask to cyber again?
LOL! No, thank goodness. That was rather awkward. (And when I say begged, I mean begged.)

No, I love this thread because my wife doesn't want me to post any dating profiles, so I can't get laughs like these on my own. Thank goodness everyone here shares the fun!
 
Etoile said:
LOL! No, thank goodness. That was rather awkward. (And when I say begged, I mean begged.)
Threaten to meet Shtup in real life dressed (and adorned) as his current 8 ball AV. Tell him you'll do him. Then inform him "doing" encompasses you firing the eightball off his forehead. On second thought, don't. He'd probably orgasm.
 
AngelicAssassin said:
Threaten to meet Shtup in real life dressed (and adorned) as his current 8 ball AV. Tell him you'll do him. Then inform him "doing" encompasses you firing the eightball off his forehead. On second thought, don't. He'd probably orgasm.

Etoile if I am rude to everyone and beg you for cyber sex will you consider doing AA's idea for me?

I can change my AV to suit, I have a similiar 8ball pic somewhere,

I won't even mind having the ball bounce of my forehead (no sense, no feeling)

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
 
With begging as wonderful as that, how can I say no?! You'll have to wait for me to stop blushing, first, as I'm quite overcome.
kissyface.gif


(I don't anticipate any problem with the
8ball.gif
- it should be just like fisting, right?!)

but what I'd really like to do with shy is dance the night away...remember dirty dancing?
 
conversation with someone I last spoke to online over a year ago.
He messaged me unexpectedly today

Him: hows you?

Me: fine and you?

Him: wheres your pic?

Me: I don't have a pic of me on messenger

Him: you sent me one of you naked but my computer crashed can you re-send it. You looked hot.

Me: I have never sent you a pic like that.

Him: Want to play like we used to.

Me: we never played just talked, I don't do web or cyber sex

Me: Are you still married?

Me: I guess she must be out

He signed out.
 
shy slave said:
conversation with someone I last spoke to online over a year ago.
He messaged me unexpectedly today

Him: hows you?

Me: fine and you?

Him: wheres your pic?

Me: I don't have a pic of me on messenger

Him: you sent me one of you naked but my computer crashed can you re-send it. You looked hot.

Me: I have never sent you a pic like that.

Him: Want to play like we used to.

Me: we never played just talked, I don't do web or cyber sex

Me: Are you still married?

Me: I guess she must be out

He signed out.
Hey, you never know... with someone else it might have worked :rolleyes:
 
shy slave said:
conversation with someone I last spoke to online over a year ago.
He messaged me unexpectedly today

Him: hows you?

Me: fine and you?

Him: wheres your pic?

Me: I don't have a pic of me on messenger

Him: you sent me one of you naked but my computer crashed can you re-send it. You looked hot.

Me: I have never sent you a pic like that.

Him: Want to play like we used to.

Me: we never played just talked, I don't do web or cyber sex

Me: Are you still married?

Me: I guess she must be out

He signed out.

Perhaps he thought you were blonde?? ;) :D
 
You can have my asshats, Geoff! This one can is specially for you.


[Found in my inbox this morning when I logged in at 7:30 am]

I bet you'd hate to...

lay back, spread your tasty legs, and
feel my hot tongue dancing all over
your clit right now, wouldn't you?
 
Evil_Geoff said:
*whines in frustration*

I never get good asshats...

I would try to be a good asshat just for you! :kiss: It would be a strech but I'd try hard.

Fury :rose:
 
shy slave said:
conversation with someone I last spoke to online over a year ago.
He messaged me unexpectedly today

Him: hows you?

Me: fine and you?

Him: wheres your pic?

Me: I don't have a pic of me on messenger

Him: you sent me one of you naked but my computer crashed can you re-send it. You looked hot.

Me: I have never sent you a pic like that.

Him: Want to play like we used to.

Me: we never played just talked, I don't do web or cyber sex

Me: Are you still married?

Me: I guess she must be out

He signed out.

Gee, shy, I can't believe your memory is that bad. ;) :D :rose:
 
bandit, under the red hair dye and stray grey hairs I was blonde once lol, so maybe he thought it would work; even though he has never seen a pic of me!!

Raven, its my age my memory is so poor, I can't remember that I have only posed nude three times. :rolleyes:
Men they try it on and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't but they never stop trying....bless 'em!!!

He was so far off in asking me as pics of me are few and far between and naked pics are rarer than hens teeth!

Once a friend made me when i was so bruised she thought it should be documented in case I needed to use it later with the police (I didn't and have since deleted all those pics).
Once when I wanted some 'nice' pics doctored with pretty colours, I posted them here but they are long buried, besides you couldn't see any flesh nor who it was.
The only other time was just recently when Andante took some as he is designing a 'thing' which would bring me to any height he required, for any reason. Body measurements were also needed, but he would never post those and I hope he will not need to use them or at least re-take some when I am more toned than I currently look LOL

At the time of speaking to that asshat, there were only one set of pics of me and they were NOT pretty.


But I bet he tries the same line on someone else before before the weekend is over :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
 
jadefirefly said:
You can have my asshats, Geoff! This one can is specially for you.


[Found in my inbox this morning when I logged in at 7:30 am]

I bet you'd hate to...

lay back, spread your tasty legs, and
feel my hot tongue dancing all over
your clit right now, wouldn't you?
Hey, I got that exact same one quite some time ago!
 
I got a pm which hurt my feelings: it revealed the true face of a so called friend.
The pm is not the real problem, but it is the result of an escalation.

In my memories it is now the so called Ohio-desaster. :devil:
 
fieryjen said:
Hey, I got that exact same one quite some time ago!

It looked familiar to me as well.

Fury :rose:

Weenieschnitzel said:
I got a pm which hurt my feelings: it revealed the true face of a so called friend.
The pm is not the real problem, but it is the result of an escalation.

In my memories it is now the so called Ohio-desaster. :devil:

I don't get it.

Fury :rose:
 
Weenieschnitzel said:
I got a pm which hurt my feelings: it revealed the true face of a so called friend.
The pm is not the real problem, but it is the result of an escalation.

In my memories it is now the so called Ohio-desaster. :devil:
Are you following Fieryjen around? I hope you are not offended by my higher knowledge ;)
 
FurryFury said:
I don't get it.

Fury :rose:

ok, I meet a woman in Lit. We had a really good contact, spoke many hours on the phone etc. Within hours she changed her mind about me. In Lit she pretents now to have a master. It is ok, but I am still wondering how fast she changed her mind about me.

btw, have I mentioned that one of her last messages to me was: "We will always be friends. I care for you".
 
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