Ask A Porn Shop Retail Associate Anything

[BlueSugar]

Thanks

Awesome thread

Thankies.
Any time.

 

[BlueSugar]

I was just confirming what you said in the thread earlier about suction cups. You said it makes for a better handle of the toy, correct?

They have their advantages - you can also plunk 2 suction cup toys together and create a custom double ended toy.

 

[BlueSugar]

The idea that someone like that could possibly exist goes beyond shame. It literally makes me want to kill myself. How the fuck could you deal with something like that? That's a red flag. That's a sign of psychopathy that means that person is probably an abuser. They show you shit like that in psychiatrist offices. You can get arrested for shit like that. It shows a complete lack of empathy that is literally illegal, and that is in the DSM as a warning sign for psychopathy. It's a form of domestic abuse.

I loathe these people, as do my employees, we do everything short of beating them. We turn the tables. We educate. We shame. We belittle. We have them call their partner so we can talk to them. We tell the partner they have every right to say no. That when done correctly, anal sex doesn't hurt whatsoever.

 

[CandiCame]

Doing this is like tickling your partner to get close to them but still annoying them in some little way. It is a part of the game - unless it is done maliciously - which it usually isn't.

Lighten up CandiCame

I really won't. I work with at-risk kids and most of the ones who were forced into abusive sexual relationships were with partners who display the EXACT behavior that you're talking about. It's a major red flag. I get joking about it in an over-the-top joking way, like the kitty was talking about, in a "I know this is your limit and I'm just teasing you" way but that's completely different from a "I'm not going to buy lube because I fully intend to sexually abuse you" way. That's not something to take lightly. That's something to call the fucking cops over. Because that's just an outward sign of an emotionally manipulative relationship that is either 1:already physically abusive or 2:about to become physically abusive.

 

[BlueSugar]

I really won't. I work with at-risk kids and most of the ones who were forced into abusive sexual relationships were with partners who display the EXACT behavior that you're talking about. It's a major red flag. I get joking about it in an over-the-top joking way, like the kitty was talking about, in a "I know this is your limit and I'm just teasing you" way but that's completely different from a "I'm not going to buy lube because I fully intend to sexually abuse you" way. That's not something to take lightly. That's something to call the fucking cops over. Because that's just an outward sign of an emotionally manipulative relationship that is either 1:already physically abusive or 2:about to become physically abusive.

We are all on the same page

 

[TwinkleStars]

The idea that someone like that could possibly exist goes beyond shame. It literally makes me want to kill myself. How the fuck could you deal with something like that? That's a red flag. That's a sign of psychopathy that means that person is probably an abuser. They show you shit like that in psychiatrist offices. You can get arrested for shit like that. It shows a complete lack of empathy that is literally illegal, and that is in the DSM as a warning sign for psychopathy. It's a form of domestic abuse.

ok, let me explain this slooooooowly to you...

When some people go into a sex as a couple (with me so far?) they usually know each other sexually (got that?). If one of them is feeling uncomfortable, the other will crack a joke to lighten the mood (understanding yet?) and relax them. It's not to embarrass them (you getting this yet?), it's to get them to relax. Both will laugh and relax....while looking for what they came for.

 

[TwinkleStars]

Double ended silicone dildo by NS Novelties, Esprit.

Don't cheap out on what goes IN your body.

What about suction cups? They're cool

Ok, thanks. I'm looking at it now.

They have their advantages - you can also plunk 2 suction cup toys together and create a custom double ended toy.

Thanks!

 

[CandiCame]

ok, let me explain this slooooooowly to you...

When some people go into a sex as a couple (with me so far?) they usually know each other sexually (got that?). If one of them is feeling uncomfortable, the other will crack a joke to lighten the mood (understanding yet?) and relax them. It's not to embarrass them (you getting this yet?), it's to get them to relax. Both will laugh and relax....while looking for what they came for.

Well, first off you shouldn't be having sex with someone who makes you feel uncomfortable, but I literally said I understood what you were talking about once you explained it. My boyfriend and I joke with each other over horrible things all the time. I'll say shit like, "I love you so much when you buy me things". That's an obvious sign of abuse but we're JOKING. I'm not really using him for his money just like you're not really trying to pressure your boyfriend into doing things he's not comfortable with.

That's not what the post I made was about. It was about the people that BlueSugar was talking about who are actively trying to hurt their partners even after the advice from personnel. I was saying that she is a significantly stronger person than I am, because if I had to be in a position where I had to decide between watching someone continue being an abuser and losing my job, I would shoot myself. Because I am not psychologically strong enough to handle that shit. I have depression with suicidal tendencies and that would easily be enough to throw me over the edge. I can BARELY deal with listening to the heartbreaking stories of people who got OUT of those relationships. But having to stand there without being able to help at all would KILL me. She's much stronger than I am.

 

[TwinkleStars]

Well, first off you shouldn't be having sex with someone who makes you feel uncomfortable, but I literally said I understood what you were talking about once you explained it. My boyfriend and I joke with each other over horrible things all the time. I'll say shit like, "I love you so much when you buy me things". That's an obvious sign of abuse but we're JOKING. I'm not really using him for his money just like you're not really trying to pressure your boyfriend into doing things he's not comfortable with.

That's not what the post I made was about. It was about the people that BlueSugar was talking about who are actively trying to hurt their partners even after the advice from personnel. I was saying that she is a significantly stronger person than I am, because if I had to be in a position where I had to decide between watching someone continue being an abuser and losing my job, I would shoot myself. Because I am not psychologically strong enough to handle that shit. I have depression with suicidal tendencies and that would easily be enough to throw me over the edge. I can BARELY deal with listening to the heartbreaking stories of people who got OUT of those relationships. But having to stand there without being able to help at all would KILL me. She's much stronger than I am.

Well, yes. It takes a strong person to stand up for what they think is right. I can understand what you are saying. And I agree, it is wrong to force a person (after explaining the product and how to use it correctly) to use the product and/or situation wrongfully. It's not my cup of tea either.

 

[CandiCame]

Well, yes. It takes a strong person to stand up for what they think is right. I can understand what you are saying. And I agree, it is wrong to force a person (after explaining the product and how to use it correctly) to use the product and/or situation wrongfully. It's not my cup of tea either.

Actually, I was saying it takes a strong person NOT to stand up. It's easy to kick them out, tell them to go fuck themselves, get into a physical fight or the like. That's what your instincts TELL you to do. It takes strength to accept that there's nothing you can do and move on without dwelling on it and letting it eat you alive. Because you have to fight your instincts, constantly, to be able to do that.

 

[TwinkleStars]

Actually, I was saying it takes a strong person NOT to stand up. It's easy to kick them out, tell them to go fuck themselves, get into a physical fight or the like. That's what your instincts TELL you to do. It takes strength to accept that there's nothing you can do and move on without dwelling on it and letting it eat you alive. Because you have to fight your instincts, constantly, to be able to do that.

Same for many many other situations and jobs. It's sad but true.

 

[LadyFunkenstein]

Jeez, someone sure did turn this thread into a downer.

Let's get it back on track. What is your best selling item every week, on a consistent basis? I am curious as to what drives the business. Toys? Lube? DVDs? etc. What are people really there for, when you look at the money side of things?

 

[IrezumiKiss]

Also, have you had to deal with a significant decrease in printed porn/erotica/smut in magazine and book form versus the digitally stored porn like CDs/DVDs over the last eight years?

I still have a subscription to a magazine, because their niche is 100% what I dig and they do it well. Also I used to collect older issues of certain titles and of certain faves and certain personality features from back in the day as well as coffee table smut books, but hardly much ever now since publishing market took a few steps back. Digital is easy and comfortably accessible, but there is definitely something not there that used to be there. Guess I do miss the old "wrecka stow" crate digging days for hidden gems.

I once found this '80s-era Chick Tract-sized sexual position 2-color printed digest from Sweden with interior b/w photos of couples in all the positions. Was an interesting curio, but I didn't buy it. Won't ever come across that sort of thing again, the side street shops with stacks of old crap are pretty much gone except for a few holdouts.

 

[TwinkleStars]

I've always been curious about how to safely wax your genitals. A few I've talk to said they go to a place to get it done (costly but worth the money if done by a professional) while many have (and seriously burned themselves doing this) bought kits and did it themselves.

How does one go about safely waxing that area themselves?

 

[CandiCame]

I've always been curious about how to safely wax your genitals. A few I've talk to said they go to a place to get it done (costly but worth the money if done by a professional) while many have (and seriously burned themselves doing this) bought kits and did it themselves.

How does one go about safely waxing that area themselves?

Just use the strips, man. You don't heat those up you just kinda rub them on your hands for a little bit, stick & pull. Of course, typing this I realize that we may have different genitals... but it should still work on the above the pussy pubes, I would think. Before you get to the moist part. After that I'm just kinda shooting in the dark. No clue.

 

[BlueSugar]

Jeez, someone sure did turn this thread into a downer.

Let's get it back on track. What is your best selling item every week, on a consistent basis? I am curious as to what drives the business. Toys? Lube? DVDs? etc. What are people really there for, when you look at the money side of things?

I deal with those issues in my shop too. We aren't just a sex shop. They could have posted elsewhere to save the thread the hijack though


Our sales are
40% Sex shop - the mark up is better
40% Smoke shop - customer flow is higher
5% Lingerie
5% Dvd
And we see anywhere between 40 and 150 people a day in our booths, rarely less.

You can say booths is our bread and butter, but there are people who come in for Ejuice for the vape on a daily basis, and there are people waiting for us to open and come at 3am when we close to buy toys. Honestly, my store runs great We went from having 6 on staff to 10 in the last couple of years. I have a feeling before 2015 is over we'll be adding 2 more if we complete building our partial 2nd floor.
PS We're just a mom/pop in a warehouse sized space. 10 people for 1 store because of customer flow. S'not bad

As far as ONE product from each dept... it is tough to say...
Mini vibes sell as much as anal toys sell as much as bondage stuff now...
Spoon pipes and anything people can smoke out of under $30
Ejuice is selling as quick as packs of cigs would.

 

[BlueSugar]

Also, have you had to deal with a significant decrease in printed porn/erotica/smut in magazine and book form versus the digitally stored porn like CDs/DVDs over the last eight years?

I still have a subscription to a magazine, because their niche is 100% what I dig and they do it well. Also I used to collect older issues of certain titles and of certain faves and certain personality features from back in the day as well as coffee table smut books, but hardly much ever now since publishing market took a few steps back. Digital is easy and comfortably accessible, but there is definitely something not there that used to be there. Guess I do miss the old "wrecka stow" crate digging days for hidden gems.

I once found this '80s-era Chick Tract-sized sexual position 2-color printed digest from Sweden with interior b/w photos of couples in all the positions. Was an interesting curio, but I didn't buy it. Won't ever come across that sort of thing again, the side street shops with stacks of old crap are pretty much gone except for a few holdouts.

DVDs sell more than people would think - but the media section has shrunk from the majority of the store, down to, smaller than our smoke shop department (small strip mall store sized area of our store/warehouse). The clients are older, without knowledge of how to use a computer, or only with their children owning laptops, still hiding it from the wife, no smart phone porno... or honest fans of porno who are supporting buy buying it hard copy. We get special order calls from people who want a particular film every day. We are able to track down 70% of it now-a-days.

Magazines went from a wall size of a small strip mall store to a quarter of it. They still go. There are a lot of people in jail/prison, people on the road, truckers on the road etc... magazine collectors too.

We regularly get DVD and Magazine donations from collections in the 100s to 1000s. They don't care for it anymore, they need the money and think its worth more now, someone dies and family drags it to us.

The last one we got was from a wife and daughter who didn't know their hubby/dad was gay... there were 12 large rubbermade containers FILLED with gay dvds, vhs, books, containing porn AND hollywood. Plus something of a biography of sorts in a binder. Every time we thought they were done - they'd find another box. I felt bad for him, couldn't be himself, all those years.

The one before that was a guy who died with a playboy magazine collection that dated back to the 1950s into 2013 ... that was amazing to flip through and categorize.

Every day stores are closing all over the states - we are regularly contacted to take their inventory. The latest was sex shop in florida - we took all 11k of their items. We bought them back in October, we're now getting to the bottom of the barrel.

 

[BlueSugar]

I've always been curious about how to safely wax your genitals. A few I've talk to said they go to a place to get it done (costly but worth the money if done by a professional) while many have (and seriously burned themselves doing this) bought kits and did it themselves.

How does one go about safely waxing that area themselves?

@CandiCame - you're not female - don't contribute to a discussion about waxing vaginas - lol

Go to a place and get it done.
Read reviews and ask around.
It is quite a pain the first few months, especially the "horseshoe" the thumb print area above the clit.
The up keep rips get easier.

 

[TwinkleStars]

@CandiCame - you're not female - don't contribute to a discussion about waxing vaginas - lol

Go to a place and get it done.
Read reviews and ask around.
It is quite a pain the first few months, especially the "horseshoe" the thumb print area above the clit.
The up keep rips get easier.

Thank you for answering, dear.

 

[SCcouple1990]

What item has the highest mark up?

 

[islandman]

If a woman goes into a porn shop and sits down in the theater to watch a porn, are men automatically going to come over and wank all over her?

Is it expected?

I'm asking for a friend.

 

[BlueSugar]

What item has the highest mark up?

Mark up in CA and NYC is pretty damn high in general - anywhere from 3x cost and higher. Possibly other states, but I'm sure those two are the highest in the US.

Lelo, Fun Factory, Je Joue, OhMiBod, Jimmy Jane and other high end brands actually have MAP prices. When you see them cheaper on Amazon it is because people are undercutting and not giving a fuck to mess with the market and make a quick buck. Power to smart shoppers and all that... but you are severely dicking over the industry by not buying from your local shop.

Brand wise... I bet the mark up on Doc Johnson or Cal Exotics is the highest. Toy cleaner is usually a big mark up item.
Some lubes are in supermarkets, target, walgreens etc... mom and pop shops can't meet chain store prices... yet another thing messing with the market.
Thankfully those lubes aren't that good anyway. HA!

 

[BlueSugar]

If a woman goes into a porn shop and sits down in the theater to watch a porn, are men automatically going to come over and wank all over her?

Is it expected?

I'm asking for a friend.

Yes.

If that isn't her plan, I hope she has a taser just in case.


Much of the time theaters and booths are a gay cruiser spot... but not all the men are strictly gay. Women are followed, watched, their door (if in a booth theater situation) gets knocked on etc...
Some of the men are relentless with other men - I'm sure the harassment (again, if the woman didn't go to live out some gang-bang, 5 guy cream pie, bukake fantasy) is much the same if not worse.

 

[awired50]

Just curios if you sell allot of P massagers and such?

 

[BlueSugar]

Just curios if you sell allot of P massagers and such?

Daily. More in recent years than ever.