So last night my husband and I tried some anal play, we've done it in the past but only a handful of times and I have very little memory of it. We had discussed it the entire day beforehand and I was excited to try it again.
Hubby tried his best to get things going but I think I was just to nervous to really enjoy any of his efforts. By this time I was already feeling awkward and uncomfortable from my lack of enjoyment. I did my best to suppress my inner battle and we moved on, he went slow and started with his finger and lots n lots of lube, eventually he moved on to a small vibe after I was comfortable. It never really hurt but I didn't get any pleasure from it either like I would other nights when he would do some "lighter" playing around my bottom. I only reached my orgasm until after he included my clit in on the fun.
Immediately after, my pesky, sometimes uncontrollable emotions came bubbling back up to the surface and I began to cry. I felt as if I had been "violated" in some way and I was hurt. Now mind you I have been married to this wonderful man for 7 years now, together for 11, we are head over heels in love and have no trust issues whatsoever. We recently began "playing" about 6 weeks ago, so very new to this world...but that's a story for another time...anyways... He held me in his arms as uncontrolled tears streamed down my face and tried his best to reassure and calm me down. I silently sobbed into him and explained to the best of my ability what I was feeling. He quickly made it all better with yet another world shattering orgasm.
Yet today I'm still kicking myself with the thought of violation from my own loving husband and why my silly mind would think such a thing up...WHY?!?
So I thought I would come to all of you for some insight into this, I have read through the anal section of the blank manual but didn't find the answer I am seeking but some great info none the less!
Ok I think I'm done rambling...WAIT I take that back I'm not...sorry please forgive me...one more thing...
Whenever he is back there with his finger or even the vibe like last night I have this urge to push and relieve myself. I guess it's a normal body function obviously but it's embarrassing! Is this normal or am I "special"? LOL Would it be something else that's only in my head and I just need to let go and enjoy myself?
Alright I promise I'm done now, sorry this got so long, thank you all for any helpful advice your able to provide, I would very much appreciate it!
Hubby tried his best to get things going but I think I was just to nervous to really enjoy any of his efforts. By this time I was already feeling awkward and uncomfortable from my lack of enjoyment. I did my best to suppress my inner battle and we moved on, he went slow and started with his finger and lots n lots of lube, eventually he moved on to a small vibe after I was comfortable. It never really hurt but I didn't get any pleasure from it either like I would other nights when he would do some "lighter" playing around my bottom. I only reached my orgasm until after he included my clit in on the fun.
Immediately after, my pesky, sometimes uncontrollable emotions came bubbling back up to the surface and I began to cry. I felt as if I had been "violated" in some way and I was hurt. Now mind you I have been married to this wonderful man for 7 years now, together for 11, we are head over heels in love and have no trust issues whatsoever. We recently began "playing" about 6 weeks ago, so very new to this world...but that's a story for another time...anyways... He held me in his arms as uncontrolled tears streamed down my face and tried his best to reassure and calm me down. I silently sobbed into him and explained to the best of my ability what I was feeling. He quickly made it all better with yet another world shattering orgasm.
Yet today I'm still kicking myself with the thought of violation from my own loving husband and why my silly mind would think such a thing up...WHY?!?
So I thought I would come to all of you for some insight into this, I have read through the anal section of the blank manual but didn't find the answer I am seeking but some great info none the less!
Ok I think I'm done rambling...WAIT I take that back I'm not...sorry please forgive me...one more thing...
Whenever he is back there with his finger or even the vibe like last night I have this urge to push and relieve myself. I guess it's a normal body function obviously but it's embarrassing! Is this normal or am I "special"? LOL Would it be something else that's only in my head and I just need to let go and enjoy myself?
Alright I promise I'm done now, sorry this got so long, thank you all for any helpful advice your able to provide, I would very much appreciate it!