A question for the ladies only…

[Noor]

.
This exact same question was asked by another of this "new" member’s alts a while back.

What a tedious, pathetic chode.

probably waiting for the answer he wants to hear so he feels supportive in his creepy behavior.

 

[Fibella]

When I used to take public transportation for work, I 100% wore headphones on the bus all the time, and never ever played music. They were just to be left alone. It didn’t always work, but it helped.

Why did they make wireless ear buds? They used to be cheap with an obvious wire to tuck into your pocket

 

[AlexBailey]

“Hey there little Red Riding Hood,
You sure are looking good.
You’re everything that a big bad wolf could want….”

Most guys seem oblivious to how they can come across. Having been mistaken for female many times then seeing the drastic change in a man’s attitude when he realizes I’m not what they were expecting has undermined the whole “innocent comment” thing for some guys.

Still there are some guys who give genuinely good natured compliments, but yeah, complement what someone has done or created, not what you desire.

I often compliment someone’s braids because I can’t braid my own hair worth a damn. It’s almost always taken well but I also carefully read the situation before saying anything.

 

[Fibella]

Someone should also petition Lit for an eye roll reaction.

 

[AlexBailey]

Someone should also petition Lit for an eye roll reaction.

 

[Plasmaball]

Don't listen to these women! They are just trying to keep you down!

Boo hiss boo

 

[Fibella]

“Hey there little Red Riding Hood,
You sure are looking good.
You’re everything that a big bad wolf could want….”

Most guys seem oblivious to how they can come across. Having been mistaken for female many times then seeing the drastic change in a man’s attitude when he realizes I’m not what they were expecting has undermined the whole “innocent comment” thing for some guys.

Still there are some guys who give genuinely good natured compliments, but yeah, complement what someone has done or created, not what you desire.

I often compliment someone’s braids because I can’t braid my own hair worth a damn. It’s almost always taken well but I also carefully read the situation before saying anything.

The rare guy who has seen the other side.
Also to add, there is a classy compliment and one you know he went out of his way to say just for his own gratification.

 

[Noor]

Not even an hour ago... "I want to say I think you're really pretty." "Thank you, I think you're pretty, too." But okay.

Sounds like a defensive remark, make him uncomfortable and maybe he will go away.

 

[desire30]

As long as the exchange really happens as you describe, without any attempts at lingering or hoping for a reply, I'd see it as a pleasant surprise But not more than that

I 100% agree ! I would be flattered .

 

[Noor]

No, that's what I observed between two women.

I'd say its small talk acknowledge, not much to do with actual beauty

 

[sister jenny]

I’m curious about something… well, been curious for a long time now, and maybe this is a good place for answers.

Ladies, how would you react to a strange man coming up to you and saying, “Excuse me, I just wanted to say that you are beautiful,” and then just walking away with no intent to try to pick them up. I often find myself places where I see a woman I think is very attractive, and I’d like to tell her so, and that’s it.

Would it be creepy? Would it make your day? I’d love to know… not that I’ll ever say it no matter what the responses reveal.

To be perfectly honest, it all depends on my mood and state of mind.
It was be wonderful, creepy, annoying or making my day. But it all depends on my mood.

 

[Saltfountain]

So I know you only asked for women's views, but I'm gonna add mine as a cantankerous old cunt anyway...

The very fact you are not seeing the problem of a male stranger walking up to someone and essentially saying "I've been staring at you" to a woman speaks volumes.

Women are generally physically weaker than men, which is why so much of the sexual violence is male on female. Most women have been victim to unwanted attention, attacks or worse. For a woman, a strange male approaching them is a potential danger situation. So the negative responses you're getting reflect this...

You seem to say it's unfair that random women can call each other pretty. Well, if men hadn't conditioned women to be wary of us, then it probably wouldn't be a issue. Also, a woman is wayyyyyy less of a threat to another woman than a man is, so the same phrase from a man or a woman will feel different.

I think that as a man, the most worrying part of your initial post was this:

and then just walking away

Why? Why would you do this? This is the verbal equivalent of flashing someone. It is about power, and control.

You asked for female responses. You got them but didn't like them, so it looked like you doubled down and played the victim.

You asked if its creepy. You were told it is. Accept it, don't argue, and move on with your life...

 

[Lindi37]

So I know you only asked for women's views, but I'm gonna add mine as a cantankerous old cunt anyway...

The very fact you are not seeing the problem of a male stranger walking up to someone and essentially saying "I've been staring at you" to a woman speaks volumes.

Women are generally physically weaker than men, which is why so much of the sexual violence is male on female. Most women have been victim to unwanted attention, attacks or worse. For a woman, a strange male approaching them is a potential danger situation. So the negative responses you're getting reflect this...

You seem to say it's unfair that random women can call each other pretty. Well, if men hadn't conditioned women to be wary of us, then it probably wouldn't be a issue. Also, a woman is wayyyyyy less of a threat to another woman than a man is, so the same phrase from a man or a woman will feel different.

I think that as a man, the most worrying part of your initial post was this:

Why? Why would you do this? This is the verbal equivalent of flashing someone. It is about power, and control.

You asked for female responses. You got them but didn't like them, so it looked like you doubled down and played the victim.

You asked if its creepy. You were told it is. Accept it, don't argue, and move on with your life...

 

[Lindi37]

Why get offended by all these valid and fabulous perspectives and opinions (which you asked for)? It sounds like the majority of people would prefer you didn’t… here’s a nice idea, if you make eye contact, give them a genuine smile and that may make their day .

The few times that I had someone make a remark about my attractiveness in a real life setting I was assaulted or made to feel snobby or prudish for not accepting it. My inability to accept compliments possibly has been made worse by these odd interactions. The welcome comments I have received are usually from people I know and are usually about things like nails, a particular outfit, hair, my smile etc. some of these are men and trusted friends. Maybe it’s less kiwi but we don’t normally approach strangers to compliment them.

 

[Fibella]

chode

Bit afraid urban dictionary won't give me the right definition of this

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

Non-creepy ways to be complemented by a guy:

1. If I’m your girlfriend
2. If I know you, but you limit your remarks to fashion choices: “Did you cut your hair? It looks great!”
3. During a one-night stand: “Wow! You are so sexy!”

That’s pretty much it.

 

[stickygirl]

Men will do anything to justify being creepy, but mostly by telling women they're wrong.

 

[FataMorgana]

I’m curious about something… well, been curious for a long time now, and maybe this is a good place for answers.

Ladies, how would you react to a strange man coming up to you and saying, “Excuse me, I just wanted to say that you are beautiful,” and then just walking away with no intent to try to pick them up. I often find myself places where I see a woman I think is very attractive, and I’d like to tell her so, and that’s it.

Would it be creepy? Would it make your day? I’d love to know… not that I’ll ever say it no matter what the responses reveal.

I'd be flattered.

 

[FataMorgana]

If he was in my garden later that night with night vision goggles it would ruin it mind.

 

[LoneMilf]

Non-creepy ways to be complemented by a guy:

1. If I’m your girlfriend
2. If I know you, but you limit your remarks to fashion choices: “Did you cut your hair? It looks great!”
3. During a one-night stand: “Wow! You are so sexy!”

That’s pretty much it.

Sorry girls, but this is way too much guy-bashing for me.

Compliments are nice. They don't need a list of pre-requisites to be allowed.
Sure, it's much nicer if the compliment is for something we've done or achieved rather than just our looks, but still..

No need to always assume the worst

 

[stickygirl]

Sorry girls, but this is way too much guy-bashing for me.

Compliments are nice. They don't need a list of pre-requisites to be allowed.
Sure, it's much nicer if the compliment is for something we've done or achieved rather than just our looks, but still..

No need to always assume the worst

It's not guy-bashing - it's supporting other women. Where does BSG attack men in her post?

Yes, compliments are nice but they're always contextual and too often that social etiquette is ignored.

 

[Plasmaball]

It's not guy-bashing - it's supporting other women. Where does BSG attack men in her post?

Yes, compliments are nice but they're always contextual and too often that social etiquette is ignored.

Social etiquette is an ever moving target as we progress through life. At one point in life I would ask the father if I could take the woman out on a date and court her. For some women this is OK. So are you suggesting that their etiquette is wrong? That their views on social construct is wrong?

Why is everyone avoiding that interesting topic just to go after the op?


For every one woman who doesn't like it you have another who does.

This whole thing is totally situational. If you walk up to a woman and just blurt it yeah odds are its gonna be weird.

Regardless of that yeah it's kind of man bashing. You have a few women in here saying they would enjoy it and nobody is arguing with them over it.

 

[Fibella]

Sorry girls, but this is way too much guy-bashing for me.

Compliments are nice. They don't need a list of pre-requisites to be allowed.
Sure, it's much nicer if the compliment is for something we've done or achieved rather than just our looks, but still..

No need to always assume the worst

I find incredibly stupid men a turn on...

 

[LoneMilf]

In any case, I think we've managed to answer the original question.. it's a resounding 'depends'

Some will take a compliment at face value. Some will think you are up to something.
Some will always feel the same way about it. Some will only like it when they're in a receptive mood.
And there's no way for you to know before you act.

So there it is - I'd say, if the woman isn't obviously in a bad mood, maybe give it a shot. But keep you hands where she can see them and be prepared to leg it if she reaches for the mace..

 

[KatieDoes]

I find incredibly stupid men a turn on...

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