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Well, I suggested up the line that everyone be challenged to write a GM one.
Well, I suggested up the line that everyone be challenged to write a GM one.
Yep, you did. Maybe we can get some input from others on that suggestion?
It wasn't a serious suggestion. But it might be a suggestion to try one that feeds directly into a popular category rather than Chain Stories, so stories don't have to be moved and so that they aren't lost in a remote category where every single vote and comment has so much power. The sweeping of these stories shows that they get attacked the same why as the regular contest stories do.
I'm also serious in suggesting that, if the exercise is conducted in Chain Stories, that the voting be turned off for the duration of the exercise and that readers be urged in the into slug to comment on the story in terms of the exercise assignment. There aren't many looking at the stories now in Chain Stories and the voting, and emphasis on a rating winner is pulling at the purpose of the exercise. After the exercise is over, the stories can be released to their natural categories--and natural voting mercies.
Chain Stories does have a limited readership so using specific categories is something to consider in the future. The voting might fall into place better then, too.
I do like the idea of a "write this category" challenge, with all authors writing stories in one category. I think it would be interesting to see each author flex their literary muscles and write in a specific category. I'd like to see the different stories that turn out.
And if that does become a challenge, it's gotta be a category that actually is a challenge. Like, in other words, NOT erotic couplings. Pilot suggested GM, there's also Romance, as I would be interested to see how everyone does the romantic, or BDSM (though some of that crowd might get butthurt if authors didn't nail that category). I don't have to say I'd love to read horror stories from everyone, but I did anyway.
Maybe layer little challenges on to that, like a basket item or something, just to add some depth.
What I don't find fully attractive with that (and didn't with FAWC 2) was that this isn't a unifying, comparative exercise then (how each one handles the same set of criteria). It becomes how each one handles a set of criteria unrelated to what the others are dealing with.
Romance isn't particularly challenging. I wrote a horror one for a previous FAWC and that was both challenging and was received well. I don't think the exercise should just be to write in a particular category, though. I think it should have some other common thread(s) required as well.
I thought the image idea was fine. Maybe write in a specific category to a specific image. If the image idea is used again, I think the image should either be copyright free or one purchased for publication (one of my publishers could do that), so that the stories could be launched as an e-book anthology. It would even work better as an anthology if there was a unified category requirement. Later next year might be a good idea with either horror or the holiday theme. These two themes do well in the marketplace. (I already have one of my Winter Holiday contest stories up in the marketplace, and it's doing a hell of a lot better there than for free here.)
The doomed gentle Thai royals being fucked over in more than one way by the hung German may not appeal to most, but none of the commentators deny it’s well-written. Yet at the back of it all are deeper romantic undertones. The love of Heinrich for Krit, so powerful that he will send a sort of secret cupid-agent in to seduce Krit back to Germany. The love of Krit and Somsri, their acceptance of each other’s fucking other men, their continued attachment to each other.
I like the anthology idea with a holiday theme. The copyright free or purchased image is a must, for sure.
What about Valentine's Day? How does that do in the marketplace? Using the Romance category with a specific image . . . that might be pushing it to put together and squeeze between Lit contests though.
Eh, just thoughts.
Thanks for the detailed analysis of "Harmony and Dissonance." I'm enjoying your critiques of the others, as well, and hope you can give them all this treatment.
Great premise, lovely romantic story, and FAWCking Heaven! some seriously hot and sensuous sex. Especially the first scene with this poor woman whose name he can’t remember.
The story is really bogged down by business though. Don’t tell us what kind of woman Lilly is – that’s like the worst Mills and Boon/Harlequin kind of writing. Let it become apparent in the way she behaves, the things she says or he says.
. . . .
You could find a beta reader? Just someone to read it through and put a big red line through all the unnecessary bits of business. It’s a nice story, just needs stripping down and it will be a real goer.
I thought the image idea was fine. Maybe write in a specific category to a specific image. If the image idea is used again, I think the image should either be copyright free or one purchased for publication (one of my publishers could do that), so that the stories could be launched as an e-book anthology. It would even work better as an anthology if there was a unified category requirement. [/img]
When I mentioned in the comment about being "emotionally" detached from the characters, it didn't mean I wanted to see touchy feely emotional characters and such. Your women with penises as you put it. It's just that the way it was written didn't draw me in to anything any character was doing, any of their motivations of theirs, any feeling at all. Cold, I guess.
Just saying why purchase or search for something the people probably have on their camera roll.
Witty and hard-edged. A convincing story which we are willing to suspend disbelief to go along with. The background on flying is excellent.
The sex was a bit cerebral, as if the characters were thinking about it – or sometimes (Jasmine) thinking about other things like their revenge on Tenley, rather than getting into the moment. There were times when it was listed rather than described too. Those parts could be filled in (ho ho) some more to good effect, especially with some feeling, and people losing their sense of the world around them, the revenge they wanted to get, it’s all gone in a blissful rush of hot orgasmic pleasure.
The splitting off into different sections from different POVs didn’t quite work at first, I was wondering what was going on. Is there a way to make it more evident to the reader that this is what will be happening? Perhaps bring one of the stewardesses into the cabin with drinks and write from her POV so it’s clear it won’t all be written from one POV?
I wasn’t sure at the end – is Petersen’s wife going to get off with Tenley? I liked the suggestive way this was written. The characters are all pretty superficial about their swinging sex life! but that is the premise of the story, apart from Petersen who does it but feels guilty about it. I liked that characterisation, too.
Thank you for your critique Naoko. I find the turn around with Fawc is so fast that by the time I have an idea I am writing a story in one day just to get it in on time. After my first attempt at a Fawk last time being so dismal I tried to take a little more time in editing thought not quite enough and had no time to send it to a beta reader although i have recently lost another editor to illness so I would have had to find one first. I think i sent it to Slyc with an hour to spare after bugging him with a lot of pm's questioning the timezone difference, (Sorry Slyc).
Be assured I will take what you have said on board for next time, more action - less business
I really do appreciate the time you and Secondcircle and possibly one other anon commentor took with really thorough critiques.