lonely_hubby60
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Dec 21, 2017
- Posts
- 177
The thread DM started (http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=15307869 ) was the impetus for me to write this post. His experiences with virtual relationships have been phenomenal, and anybody running into as much luck as he, deserves my envy. But I posit, not only can mail relationships of “his caliber” feel like a miracle; “downsized” relationships like I aim to describe, entail tremendous joy as well.
All of this depends on the people involved. I.e. which voids exactly they experience, and how much that effects them. AND on how well the mail partners can set their imagination in motion. For people with very little of that skill, mail loving will never work well.
And let’s face it: anything that takes place mainly in one’s fantasy, is surreal at best. Which needs not be anything bad, far from it. A prior intimate mail partner and I – both of us married, and both of us lacking an awful lot from our spouses – did manage to give each other a lot of help and support thru the mails we exchanged. Not everything we needed, but an awful lot already.
Every addition that happens to a particular life, so I claim, depends on how full of voids the situation had been before. For someone not having experienced erotic closeness for years, reading a mail partner describe a virtual love-making session and dreaming oneself into that situation, can feel like a gift from heaven. While a man who merely misses his wife give him a blow job twice a week, will most likely not feel a similar fascination.
And then there exists something I call one's horizon of expectations. When it is rather expansive for one partner, that usually spells trouble, maybe even the end eventually. And I may be a bad example myself. I just expect a lot, because of the set of values I got taught when I grew up. And a woman too far away from my set of values, I have some difficulty with.
IMHO, most essential for feeling good about a mail exchange, is the degree of mutuality it entails. And how responses happen or not. When my mail partner sees me taking her up on most everything she writes me, she perceives me as a responsive partner. If all I do is tell her about my own experiences, she will tire of me sooner or later.
In closing my post, I like to list a few key “feelings of satisfaction” I claim most everybody needs, so that a mail exchange can be felt as genuinely enriching. First and foremost: reading that a partner finds one great and likeable, makes up more than half of what one needs. And making love with each other virtually, i.e. using lots of imagination for it, makes up the other half.
And if – in addition – both are able to entice each other to think about something new every once in a while, I am talking of stimulating each other’s intellect, and maybe provide some empathy for each other when that is needed ….. : all of this together makes mail exchanging a treasure with a dear partner. Because the way I see it, it lifts the spirits of both and raises each other’s self-esteem in the process.
OK, I have described now, what an up-lifting mail exchange does for me, a simple-minded man. By far a lot less than the lofty spiritual concepts that DreamMerchant put on the table, but very enjoyable for everyday use. Or price-less really, so I claim, at least for simple-minded folks like me.
I wonder what the views are of others on this forum, on mail relationships, "downsized" from DM's lofty experiences?
All of this depends on the people involved. I.e. which voids exactly they experience, and how much that effects them. AND on how well the mail partners can set their imagination in motion. For people with very little of that skill, mail loving will never work well.
And let’s face it: anything that takes place mainly in one’s fantasy, is surreal at best. Which needs not be anything bad, far from it. A prior intimate mail partner and I – both of us married, and both of us lacking an awful lot from our spouses – did manage to give each other a lot of help and support thru the mails we exchanged. Not everything we needed, but an awful lot already.
Every addition that happens to a particular life, so I claim, depends on how full of voids the situation had been before. For someone not having experienced erotic closeness for years, reading a mail partner describe a virtual love-making session and dreaming oneself into that situation, can feel like a gift from heaven. While a man who merely misses his wife give him a blow job twice a week, will most likely not feel a similar fascination.
And then there exists something I call one's horizon of expectations. When it is rather expansive for one partner, that usually spells trouble, maybe even the end eventually. And I may be a bad example myself. I just expect a lot, because of the set of values I got taught when I grew up. And a woman too far away from my set of values, I have some difficulty with.
IMHO, most essential for feeling good about a mail exchange, is the degree of mutuality it entails. And how responses happen or not. When my mail partner sees me taking her up on most everything she writes me, she perceives me as a responsive partner. If all I do is tell her about my own experiences, she will tire of me sooner or later.
In closing my post, I like to list a few key “feelings of satisfaction” I claim most everybody needs, so that a mail exchange can be felt as genuinely enriching. First and foremost: reading that a partner finds one great and likeable, makes up more than half of what one needs. And making love with each other virtually, i.e. using lots of imagination for it, makes up the other half.
And if – in addition – both are able to entice each other to think about something new every once in a while, I am talking of stimulating each other’s intellect, and maybe provide some empathy for each other when that is needed ….. : all of this together makes mail exchanging a treasure with a dear partner. Because the way I see it, it lifts the spirits of both and raises each other’s self-esteem in the process.
OK, I have described now, what an up-lifting mail exchange does for me, a simple-minded man. By far a lot less than the lofty spiritual concepts that DreamMerchant put on the table, but very enjoyable for everyday use. Or price-less really, so I claim, at least for simple-minded folks like me.
I wonder what the views are of others on this forum, on mail relationships, "downsized" from DM's lofty experiences?
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