600 word stories

[Alex De Kok]

Jayne and WSO,

thanks for the kind words. It was fun to write. Were I to edit it, I think I might emphasise that Bob and Dan were NOT friends, merely business associates. But then, that might take me over 600 words...

I found myself rather tested in keeping to the limit, flowery writer that I usually am.

Alex

 

[reohoko]

Jayne that was SOO AWESOME!!!
And Alex's is totally cool too!!!

gonna go check my file I think I have one under 600 words.. I would write one but that would be silly, I haven't slept in 24 hours cause my tooth is killing me (seriously, seriously, seriously considering taking the vicaden... wonderful stuff, but I break out into hives *shivers).

so I shall return

 

[reohoko]

nope nope, I don't appear to write under 800 words unless you count exerpts I take from my other works to put on my site until I can get a chance to write something else (and besides... I totally missed the line about flash).

But...
since we are on the topic of counting... someone please refresh my memory of what words are not counted, if any, on word counts. I still just multiple average number of words by sentences... (as my word program is rude and won't count them for me).

 

[TheEarl]

Working (slowly) on my contribution. Don't hold your breath though.


The Earl

 

[wildsweetone]

nope nope, I don't appear to write under 800 words unless you count exerpts I take from my other works to put on my site until I can get a chance to write something else (and besides... I totally missed the line about flash).

But...
since we are on the topic of counting... someone please refresh my memory of what words are not counted, if any, on word counts. I still just multiple average number of words by sentences... (as my word program is rude and won't count them for me).

a non word count program? far out! what program are you using? i'm sure there must be a basic word counter free at ZDnet or somewhere...

could you try using one of your 800 worders and get rid of excess wordage...?


TheEarl... i know what you mean. man 600 words is a doozy, who's idea was this anyway? grrr

Alex, i'm glad that you found it a challenge.

 

[TheEarl]

600 words. On the dot. Considering the first draft had 756 words, I think that's quite a feat. Apologies if it's not up to my usual standards, it was a bit forced to get it anywhere near the cut-off point and there was a lot of editing.

The Earl



I’m sitting at the computer, silhouetted by the glowing monitor. I’ve been staring at the screen for hours, watching the empty pages taunt me.

Suddenly hands wrap around my shoulders and I’m tugged back, the chair rocking backwards. I flail my arms, desperately trying to regain balance. Girlish giggling emanates from behind me and I swivel to see Emma in hysterics. I struggle for words. “Jesus, you scared the shit out of me.”

“Sorry.” A wicked grin emblazoned on her face makes a mockery of the apology. “What are you writing this time? Can I read it?”

“It’s nowhere near finished.”

Emma pouts. “Can I help?”

“Yeah, if you can get in touch with my muse.”

The smile creeps across her face again and she folds herself into my lap. “Maybe I can.” Her hand trails across my face, fingers trailing in the stubble. She slides her hand around to the back of my neck and draws my head in to kiss. “You inspired yet?”

The small tent that has formed in my trousers seems to answer that. “I can’t type like this though,” I complain, not really caring. Writing is the last thing on my mind.

“Well in that case…” She slides off my lap and down to the floor in front of me. Her hands part my legs, sliding up towards my thighs, fingers stroking at my balls through the crotch of my trousers. She pauses. “I don’t hear typing!”

I force my hands to the keyboard, trying to write something. Her hands grazed across his chest, flipping at the buttonssssewwaqda. The button of my jeans pops open and fingers slowly tug on the zip.

She pulls my cock out of my boxers and lets her fingertips drift up and down it, dancing along the vein. “You’ve stopped typing,” she singsongs.

I find the keyboard again and she rewards me by clasping my dick firmly, squeezing it with every pause in the flow of letters. He slid one finger inside her and began stroking all the way along her cock… Dammit. Freudian slip. Her hand is stroking over me, sliding up before squeezing the tip and pulling back down. The adventures of Jason and Rita are getting a little ragged now. They seem very colourless now; I bet Jason doesn’t get this good a handjob from Rita.

Emma lowers her head to my cock and I start hitting random letters. Her tongue lolls languidly around the tip, teasing me with her touch, before her lips wrap around the shaft. I breath in sharply as sensation overtakes me for a second and my fingers leave the keyboard. Instantly all movement stops and her lips relax.

I force myself to hit the keys and her lips tighten again. She moves up my shaft, sucking extra hard on the bell-end, before sliding back down, the rough touch of her tongue caressing the vein. Her hand cups my balls, fingertips stroking just behind them, almost scratching where she knows my sweet spot is. My fingers slam against the keyboard, jamming the keys down as my muscles lock. I can feel my orgasm building as waves of heat emanate from my groin, surging up from inside me, as the pressure gets greater and greater. Then it escapes, a throbbing tidal wave of sensation exploding out as I sink down into the chair, suddenly too heavy to move.

Emma gets up from the floor, a huge smirk plastered across her face. She leans on the chair to look at my story, then pulls a disparaging face. “I think it needs a little more work.”

 

[wildsweetone]

oh gosh Earl!!!


i am so not posting mine now.

how the heck can i ever hope to write something legible after reading that?!

 

[wildsweetone]

from 743 to 600 words... never thought i'd make it.

***
An unscented pale apricot canna lily surrounded the garden seat. The strong perfume wafting through the air emanated from the daphne. A young shrub with three flower clusters lending an eroticism to the garden that hadn’t existed when she’d moved in.

Samantha sat, wiping her perspiring brow with the back of her glove and relaxed. The heavy mist that greeted her upon waking was now beginning to lift. Throwing off her gloves and undoing the top three buttons on her blouse, she let the breeze caress her wet skin. It was still too early in the morning for her neighbours to be up. She knew she would be safe, sitting and simply enjoying her peaceful meditations.

Arousal hit her hard and fast as it often did when she cleared her mind. Undoing the button and zip on her shorts, moving her g-string aside, Samantha let her fingers have full reign in the warm sensitive area of her body. Within moments, she was close to orgasm.

A flash of light in her neighbour’s balcony window stilled her hand. She waited, panting and petrified that her neighbour had seen her. The newly dug garden held no cover for her misty morning antics. The canna lilies were only enough to hide her while she weeded, certainly not enough to cover what her hands were doing as she sat on the seat.

When it was apparent the light flashing had stopped, Samantha relaxed back and resumed her meditation. Taking deep calming breaths, the scent of the daphne enveloped her body. Her hand continued rubbing her clitty. With her head falling back against the seat, she moaned deep in her throat as she orgasmed.

She smiled at the picture she must present then quickly shook herself, looking over her shoulder as she felt eyes boring into the back of her head. Slipping her fingers from her body, she straightened her clothes and stood.

A cold hand reached inside her blouse from behind, she gasped unable to move. The hand curled around her hip moving upwards to hold the weight of one breast in its palm. Her nipple hardened painfully and she gasped as a finger and thumb captured the tightened bud then squeezed hard.

She struggled trying to push the arms away, but something grabbed hold of her ponytail and yanked her head back. She screamed in pain, though no sound left her throat. Teeth bit into the side of her neck. She slumped as the life source drained from her body.

“Hey! Get away!” An agitated voice joined the weight of my neighbour as he tripped over the pile of garden mulch, crashed into us and ended up spread-eagled on top of me on the ground. He scrambled up, knocking the breath from my weakened body as he leaned his body on mine to stand.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He spun around. “What? Where’d he go? Wait here!” He ran behind the lilies then sprinted up the road.

I sat up, got groggily to my feet and collapsed on the chair. The mist had risen and I watched as my neighbour ran back to me.

“It’s okay, I’m feeling fine now.”

“I’ll see you inside then I’ll call the doctor. You’re hurt.” He helped me to my feet, waiting with me until the doctor arrived. As the door closed behind my neighbour, the doctor looked at me. I felt his garlicky breath on my neck as he studied the puncture wounds.

Deep blackness enveloped me as the doctor mumbled, “I need to take a little blood, dear. Just checking your iron levels.”

 

[TheEarl]

Impressive. Love the twist with the vampire. JOI you cut most of the words from the 2nd half of the story didn't you?

The Earl

 

[wildsweetone]

thanks TheEarl. i cut out a lot where she was bringing herself to orgasm, quite detailed there... and the 'chase' where her neighbour went looking for the neck biter...

mostly though i took out words that made sentences more hmmm abrupt i think the word is. shorter sentences, more precise. it seems i've learned to waffle a bit in the last few months. it took a lot of effort to slim it down.

i need more practise at this. you make it look so flipping natural!

 

[TheEarl]

Part of the idea is plagarised from a story I wrote ages ago for my girlfriend. Bloody hard work to write though.

The Earl

 

[jfinn]

Earl, definately worth the wait. You managed to write something that read like it was meant to be just 600 words and not something that had been pared down to fit.

WSO, I loved the tone of this piece. The mood was perfect. Like with Earl's, if you made a lot of cuts I couldn't see them.

Reo, thanks for the compliment. And give it a shot, this is kind of fun.

Jayne

 

[wildsweetone]

thank you for your comments your turn to write a second one Jayne


it's interesting how i found the 1000+, the 500 and the 300 word stories all far easier to write than this wretched 600 limit.

'kind of fun' Jayne? there's gotta be a better way of having fun...

going off to play with the keyboard for a while.

 

[MathGirl]

$#%^$&%^!! 600 words

I've been trying to come up with something as a contribution to the 600 word challenge. I have a problem, though. I seem to have arrived right in the middle of this story. I'm not sure where the characters have been or where they're going. Tell me if it's worth trying to add onto the front or back to make the 600 words.
MG


Louise finished his climax and collapsed which pulled on the enormous strapon dildo whose other end was attached to Elizabeth Butch. The elastic straps holding the black plastic rod of romance to Butch stretched, Louise's anus clenched, and a tug of war between the siblings for the pole of pleasure ensued. When only the head of the massive dildo remained in Louise's butt and the straps were stretched to their limits, about a foot and 1/2 from Butch, the tortured sphincter finally succumbed to the pressure. The implement popped loose from George Louise's anus with a wet, greasy "bfloobp" and the elasticity of the straps sent the dildo rocketing back into Butch, whereupon it impacted with a harsh "whap."

Ps. I like to think that Terry Pratchett would write smut something like this.

 

[DVS]

OK, I don't usually comply to these things. I hate tests, because they make my head hurt. Yes, I consider this a test. But, there are 600 words.


Frank her Diggie

One day, not too long ago, there was this doolie. A doolie on the prowl for a good tight frank. And, he had a jully that was a favorite of his. She was a favorite, because of her diggie. It was nice and tight, and there is nothing better than a jully with a tight diggie. He would just love to bend her over and frank that diggie until his womper zoomed.

She loves that, too. She's a jully, and all jullys are submissive. And because of that, she gets her diggie franked as often as she wants. It's funny, how that is. Doolies are walking around, looking for some little jully to frank, and jullys are walking around canceling them out, one doolie after another.

He spied her, and could smell her diggie from across the room. She was a hot one. He knew then that he wanted to frank that diggie. He decided to give it a go. "Say, howz it going? Can I buy you a nip?"

Looking up from the micro, she cringed when she saw him. She noticed his womper bulge, and just the sight of it made her diggie smile. But, she was tired, and she needed to recharge. "Nah, but thanks. I'm just on my way out. I have to go home. Maybe another time."

He couldn't understand it. Was he losing his touch? Never has a jully ever turned down a frank with him, before. He had to rethink his plan. "Another time? How about I offer you a ride? My ride is right outside. I just gotta go out and fire up the tubes, and we're off. So, waddaya say? Do we have a date?"

A date? What was he thinking? What kind of line was that to pull? Although she was ready to bite off his head, she decided to play nice. She was too tired for a battle of the minds. "Well, although it is a wonderful offer, I must decline. I need to go home and go to bed. I'm one beat jully."

With that, she got up and started walking toward the door. He watched her walk, and she didn't even look back. He was shocked. He thought sure she would. In fact, he knew she would. After all, she was a jully. That is what jullys do. Their diggies talk to them. Well, actually, their diggies are in control. To see a jully refuse an invitation was very unusual.

He got up and followed her out the door. He called out to her, but she kept walking. He ran to catch up with her. He grabbed her arm and she stopped. She swung around with a right cross to the side of his face. He took it on his jaw, and stumbled to the side. He saw stars at first, but he quickly regained his composure. When she saw who she had hit, she cried out, "Oh, I'm sorry! It was just a reaction. I didn't mean to hit you. Are you OK? I hope I didn't hurt you."

Still seeing a few stars and rubbing his jaw, he tried to look like it didn't hurt. "Yeah, I'm OK. You gotta hit me harder than that to hurt me."

"Well, you shouldn't grab me unexpectedly. I've had training." She opened her bag and pulled out a card. "See? I graduated just last month."

"You got your money's worth, I'll tell ya. I guess not just any doolie with a womper bulge can offer a jully a nip and expect to frank her diggie."

 

[Alex De Kok]

your turn to write a second one Jayne

A second one? A second one?

Ohmygawdletmeouttahere!!!

Alex

 

[jfinn]

A second one? A second one?

Ohmygawdletmeouttahere!!!

Alex

My thoughts exactly.

Jayne

 

[reohoko]

I LOVE ALL THE STORIES!!! write more write more...

I will get to something I hope...

Hey, I was proud of myself, I copy and pasted and re-edited stories for submissions....

instead of my usual stunt of just sit down and write again....

I know, I will give the Earl my story he can edit it ?

just lose about 200 words and don't be surprised about tense issues, it's on my site but not as seriously edited as the rest.

*giggle
joking of course, I would never annoy another hard working author with that stuff

 

[TheEarl]

Reohoko: The trick is to go through once and take away all of the odd extraneous words in sentences. Take away all the unnecessary adverbs etc.

Then go through it again and pick out some of the unecessary description. Don't be flowery, take out everything that's superfluous; this is flash, not James Joyce.

Then see how many words you have left to lose. If necessary lose a bit of the plot. Go find more words which you don't need. Cut all those bits you considered, but then left in on your first edit.

It's easier than you think.

The Earl

 

[jfinn]

Okay, what can I say, I can't resist a challenge. Besides I want to see Alex's post when he realizes it's his turn again. Anyway, I went for funny, not hot this time.

Jayne


The Bet (600 words)


I hate losing.

Stevie knows this and grins.

"You can't be sure," I glare at him.

"She said come over at eight, bring condoms. That sounds pretty sure."

I toss my head, but I'm worried.

We grew up next door to each other. A thousand bets were in our past and still neither of us had ever pulled ahead of the other. We were, it appeared, evenly matched.

Then at eighteen we left for colleges on different coasts. It only seemed fitting that the night before we left we'd give ourselves one final challenge.

"Jen? Are you a virgin?"

I snorted. "None of your business."

"Me too," he agreed sadly.

We both sat quietly and thought about that.

"I bet," Stevie grinned. "That I'll lose my cherry first."

"You're a guy, you don't have a cherry."

"You know what I mean."

I shrugged, "Okay, same stakes?"

"Double hot fudge sundae at Denny's," he agreed.

"Yeah," I nodded. "Only..."

We both said it together, "Hold the cherry."

That was last summer and though I'd finally dated, I hadn't found anyone I wanted to make love to, even to win. Stevie'd returned home as pure as me. Really amazing when you realized how he'd filled out.

Then he'd met Phoebe, the slut. They'd been out on three dates and now he was here to tell me this was the big night.

Like I said -- slut.

I swallow hard. "I'm glad for you."

"Really?"

"Yeah, if winning is so important you'd do it with her, you must want it bad."

"Jesus! Wanna sheath those claws?"

I run my nails lightly down the back of his thin tee shirt. He shivers. I really do hate to lose.

"Nope." I slide my palm under his shirt and feel hot skin.

"Jennifer, what are you doing?"

"Giving you a back rub."

"I don't know..." but he lies back on the bed.

"Your shirt is in the way."

Silently he strips. I straddle his hips.

"Um, shouldn't I be on my stomach?"

"This is better."

I bend over and kiss him. He gasps in surprise and opens his mouth, a mistake I take advantage of. He doesn't seem to mind.

Stevie's hands slide under my top. There isn't enough room so I take it off.

"Wow," he says idiotically, "oh wow."

My jeans are next, then his. Everything else follows. I reach down and stroke him -- not bad. His hips follow the movement of my hand and I grin at him.

"I have a rubber in my pocket."

"I'm on the pill."

"But safe…"

I brush his lips. "We're virgins, remember? Now shut up."

He does and I lift up to my knees and sit down on his cock. It feels different than I'd expected – better. I sigh and rest my hips easily down on his.

Stevie raises his eyebrows. "Dildo?"

"Cucumber, it's the same theory."

It doesn't take long. He's too needy; I'm too nervous. I watch the way his face changes as he comes. It's an expression I've never seen before. I'm instantly addicted.

I snuggle down on his chest and he pulls me even closer.

"So I guess we're still tied."

"Yeah," he winks, "but I came first."

I ponder this for a moment. "I suppose I can live with that."

He kisses my neck. "It'll be better next time."

I giggle softly. It was already great. "There's going to be a next time?"

"Give me twenty minutes."

I look at him. "You said you had a date?"

"I said she asked," Stevie laughs. "I never said I was going to go."

 

[wildsweetone]

Jayne, wow! lol i really like it!


DVS, i am sitting here wondering whether i am Authur or Martha... my brain is sizzling and my eyes keep glazing over when i get down to the 'He spied her, and could smell her diggie from across the room.'

talk about a hot diggity dog!

 

[reohoko]

well, ok not even close to my best work, but I guess it will do....


By the way, the earlier discussion about 2nd person, was how I started this story, but I wasn't having much luck LOL, so you guys get stuck with it here in first person with sorta 2nd person stuff.

*giggle

oh, and sorry ahead of time... LOL

---------------------------------------------------------------

Staring at my computer screen is the most entertainment I have had all week. My Love, out of town, until Friday at least. Sighing I open my email.

'Nothing,' I sigh. 'Who said he could be busy all week? What will I do for a whole week? This is only Tuesday!!!'

I hit the compose button, well, maybe I will send him just one more email.

"I MISS YOU!!!

*jumps in your lap and wraps my arms around your neck

*kisses you passionately, sucking your tongue into my mouth

*gently biting your lip before I pull away

I miss teasing you... I miss playing... I miss your adorable smile

*kissing your neck and gently nibbling under your ear

I want to scream in your ear, I want to hear your whispers of encouragement as my body starts to tremble under your touch.

*my fingers slowly tickle over your shoulders and down your chest "

I can see him in his polo shirt, he likes to wear them when he is off work. I am wiggling in my chair just thinking about stripping it off him.

"*tugging on your polo shirt so I can press myself against your warm skin

I want to feel your heartbeat under my fingers... I want to taste every inch of you...I want to feel you harden under me when I wiggle in your lap "

‘Damn! I am wiggling in my chair!'

‘Maybe I better not write this.'

My legs tightly closed, I am sure I cannot complete this train of thought. Somehow, of their own free will, my fingers attack the keyboard again.

"*as your shirt comes off your head I nibble on your chin

*my lips trailing down your neck, your chest, softly biting here and there

*sliding off your lap to kneel on the floor between your legs "

His lips, remembering his kisses, his tongue pressed deep into my mouth. His deep voice as he whispers in my ear. I tremble gently all over. Trying hard to look at the screen and not think, I continue.

"I want to feel your fingers in my hair... stare into your adorable blue eyes...I want to be yours....I want to to take you in my mouth.

*my fingers fumble with your pants as your fingers run along my cheek and to my chin"

"Ok, I better behave!" Chastising myself loudly. Feeling the wetness between my legs, my nipples hard beneath my tank top, I tremble.

"He is gone for a week," this time aimed at the computer as if it could do a thing about it.

Grabbing the mouse I click on delete.

"Your message has been sent."

"WHAT?!" I shout at the computer. "SENT?"

Blankly staring at the computer. ‘Well, I imagine it isn't the worst email I have sent him.' Biting my lip I wonder if that is exactly true.

Suddenly the instant messenger rings and a box is in front of my eyes.

"Adam340: I miss you too, Love

Adam340: I need a favor...

Jasminish: Anything

Adam340: warn me next time so I don't open my email while at a site... k?

Jasminish: k, why?

Adam340: well, I didn't read it, the page was loading, it's not my office and not my desk. I went to get coffee

Jasminish: ?

Adam 340: came back to half the office looking at it with big grins"

My head falls to the desk with a crash.

 

[jfinn]

Oh Reo, I loved it! The end was great, I can just picture that.

Jayne

 

[wildsweetone]

interesting story reohoko! well done. i did a word count and came out with 572 words. i wonder... knowing that you have a fair few words to play around with, where would you put them? did you overwrite and then cut back, or did you not go past the 600 words? no way is right or wrong, i'm just curious. by the way, feel free to ignore any and all questions. lol

ps... Adam would be proud

 

[jfinn]

Thanks WSO,

After I thought about it (and sent it out to a freind to read who pointed out some more) I realized there were a few problems. I think the names were too close for one thing and it got confusing. Originally these two were going to be twins instead of neighbors, so I was giving them cutesy names. Should have known better. There were a couple typos too and I needed to "butch" Stevie's dialogue up a bit. So now it's edited if you want to look at it again. Not any big changes, but I really think in a piece this size that even a word change can make a difference.

Jayne