Natalie Nessus
Gypsy Soul
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- Apr 27, 2001
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2 highly ethical human beings
BDSM: Questions and Answers
- Thread starter cymbidia
- Start date
2 highly ethical human beings
blackguard
Virgin
- Joined
- Sep 16, 2001
- Posts
- 3
First Observation:
BDSM can be expensive. I tried alt.com and thought I had hit the motherload - 530 people within Alberta with at least a passing interest in the subject. Surely I could find someone in Edmonton with a penchant for domination with a soft side...
3 measly views of profiles later, I find out that I am locked out until tomorrow - unless I come up with the cash to get unlimited access. I'll go broke before I find a Dominatrix!
BDSM can be expensive. I tried alt.com and thought I had hit the motherload - 530 people within Alberta with at least a passing interest in the subject. Surely I could find someone in Edmonton with a penchant for domination with a soft side...
3 measly views of profiles later, I find out that I am locked out until tomorrow - unless I come up with the cash to get unlimited access. I'll go broke before I find a Dominatrix!
cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2001
- Posts
- 8,786
It can indeed be expensive - and BB is WAY right about the expense going skyhigh when you begin buying toys, too.blackguard said:
If you don't want to pay for your entry into alt.com, be sure you are choosing wisely with your allotted 3 views/day.
Try these (and i can't verify them personally but you can go have a look anyway - some may be geographically specific, some may be worldwide):
http://www.iron-rose.com/IR/personals.htm
http://www.bound2love.com/central/free_bdsm_personals.htm
http://www.moonkissed.org/personals/personals_index.html
http://dreammall.com/dsm/bdsm/
http://www.bdsmcontacts.net/
http://www.sexslavewanted.com/
http://www.section12.com/editorial/personals.html
http://www.domsublifestyle.com/personals.html
http://www.kinkylove.com/entrance.htm
There are a zillion more site like these, too.
Do a google search using "BDSM personals" as you parameters.
And don't be discouraged.
Use the time to study and learn more about your leanings and your desires.
Check back, okay?
cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
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- Mar 8, 2001
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Lady, please take whatever of mine you wish, and consider that a blanket release and good for all time. ~g~ However, please know that i *cannot* verify the goodness and realness (for lack of better terms) of any of these places except alt.com, which is the only personals place i know works, from personal experience.
Lilfrk?
Geeze.
I sent you the wrong book!
The book i sent you is good, it's got lots of kinky sex and really good plot, but it's not the one we were discussing. They were both on my desk, both without their dust jackets, both similar in shape and color - and when i was going off to the post office, i just grabbed the one on top without giving it a second thought. I'll send the other one to you, too, okay? It's definitely a good read as well. Will you send me the Hamilton book back when you're done with it? I've got all of hers and just want to keep the collection going. Sorry.
Lilfrk?
Geeze.
I sent you the wrong book!
The book i sent you is good, it's got lots of kinky sex and really good plot, but it's not the one we were discussing. They were both on my desk, both without their dust jackets, both similar in shape and color - and when i was going off to the post office, i just grabbed the one on top without giving it a second thought. I'll send the other one to you, too, okay? It's definitely a good read as well. Will you send me the Hamilton book back when you're done with it? I've got all of hers and just want to keep the collection going. Sorry.
WriterDom
Good to the last drop
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2000
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- 20,077
cymbidia said:
http://www.bondage.com
Bondage.com is good also. cym pointed me there but she forgot that link in the above list. It's free to both post and view. To get full access to stories and pictures you have to subscribe. But that doesn't apply to the personal section. (unless someone posts a naughty picture of themselves) Along with posting your profile, there are also 6 comprehensive checklists (sex, bondage, s&m, fetish, role-playing, and power play) that you can fill out and it gives a compatibility rating with prospective partners. Even if you aren't looking for a partner, it is fun to browse
lilfrk
Suzy Suck Slut
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2000
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- 7,476
cym
Don't worry about it luv, I promise to send it back to you. It may take me a little longer to get through than it normally would because I'm in the middle of moving my not so cooperative in-laws 30 miles. If you need it back sooner than that, let me know and I'll send it back and get it from the library.
Just a little something else...The Author is omg beautiful.
Don't worry about it luv, I promise to send it back to you. It may take me a little longer to get through than it normally would because I'm in the middle of moving my not so cooperative in-laws 30 miles. If you need it back sooner than that, let me know and I'll send it back and get it from the library.
Just a little something else...The Author is omg beautiful.
Hecate
Lady Hecate will do
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2000
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- 1,657
cymbidia said:Geeze.
I sent you the wrong book!
The book i sent you is good, it's got lots of kinky sex and really good plot, but it's not the one we were discussing.
what book is it? I want it too - kinky sex and all ... but guess I am too far (= too expensive for shipping) to get it huh?
lilfrk
Suzy Suck Slut
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2000
- Posts
- 7,476
Hecate
The book she sent me was Laurell K. Hamilton's A Kiss of Shadows. But the book she was supposed to send me is called Kushiel's Dart. It's a book that Never got and read then passed on to Cym who is going to pass it on to me. When I'm done with Kushiel's Dart if you want it I'll send it to you. Shipping isn't a problem for me.
The book she sent me was Laurell K. Hamilton's A Kiss of Shadows. But the book she was supposed to send me is called Kushiel's Dart. It's a book that Never got and read then passed on to Cym who is going to pass it on to me. When I'm done with Kushiel's Dart if you want it I'll send it to you. Shipping isn't a problem for me.
Silverlily
Kitty Mama - East Coast
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2000
- Posts
- 13,101
cym, a fellow LKH fan???? *thud* 
blackguard, the two ethical folks that wouldn't "plug" their stories can be found in the BDSM section of Lit. WriterDom, Hecate, and others I can't remember (sorry) are there as well. Read, read, read, you never know what will turn you on.
On that note, what turns you on today, may not tomorrow. It's perfectly ok to change your mind. It isn't indecision on your part, just part of the discovery process. Just keep an open mind and stay safe, sane, and consensual.
blackguard, the two ethical folks that wouldn't "plug" their stories can be found in the BDSM section of Lit. WriterDom, Hecate, and others I can't remember (sorry) are there as well. Read, read, read, you never know what will turn you on.
On that note, what turns you on today, may not tomorrow. It's perfectly ok to change your mind. It isn't indecision on your part, just part of the discovery process. Just keep an open mind and stay safe, sane, and consensual.
cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2001
- Posts
- 8,786
WD, thank you so much for the bondage.com addition. That site is one of the very best out there for this kinda stuff. I *did* forget it.
Must be creeping senility.
Or not enough sex.
Hmmm.
Lilfrk, just send it back when you're done with it and get around to sending it, okay? I'm not worried aboutit at all. I'll be sending the J. Carey book out to you tomorrow. (It's the one that has a masochist as a protagonist. I was ever so flattered when Never told me about it, explaining i should know cuz there aren't too many books with masochists as the protagonist. ~g~) It's a *good* book.
BB? Just trying to do my part. Trying to be a good BDSM thread citizen. Trying to suborn more nillas into the darkness of our deviant sexual frenzy. Oh. Wait. Strike that last one.
Hecate, ask Kitten Eyes - Laurell K. Hamilton is the *best* kinky sex kinda mainstream writer out there right now. She's got a series of books (9 out, the 10th is due out next month) revolving around Anita Blake, Vampire Killer. You gotta read these books. Sexy as hell, fast-paced, and that chickee knows her BDSM, too.
KE? I'm on amazon's list for immediate delivery of the new Hamilton book when it arrives there. You want it after i'm done with it? And tell, me - doesn't everything about Anita Blake scream KillerMuffin to you? I think Laurell K. Hamilton must know our Muffy irl.
Must be creeping senility.
Or not enough sex.
Hmmm.
Lilfrk, just send it back when you're done with it and get around to sending it, okay? I'm not worried aboutit at all. I'll be sending the J. Carey book out to you tomorrow. (It's the one that has a masochist as a protagonist. I was ever so flattered when Never told me about it, explaining i should know cuz there aren't too many books with masochists as the protagonist. ~g~) It's a *good* book.
BB? Just trying to do my part. Trying to be a good BDSM thread citizen. Trying to suborn more nillas into the darkness of our deviant sexual frenzy. Oh. Wait. Strike that last one.
Hecate, ask Kitten Eyes - Laurell K. Hamilton is the *best* kinky sex kinda mainstream writer out there right now. She's got a series of books (9 out, the 10th is due out next month) revolving around Anita Blake, Vampire Killer. You gotta read these books. Sexy as hell, fast-paced, and that chickee knows her BDSM, too.
KE? I'm on amazon's list for immediate delivery of the new Hamilton book when it arrives there. You want it after i'm done with it? And tell, me - doesn't everything about Anita Blake scream KillerMuffin to you? I think Laurell K. Hamilton must know our Muffy irl.
Silverlily
Kitty Mama - East Coast
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2000
- Posts
- 13,101
pardon me, slight detour
I dunno, KM would never cry, no matter how much lycanthrope goo she got on her. I don't see her picking Jean CLaude over Richard either, but enough of that. Yes, LKH knows her BDSM, the good and the bad. The only complaint I have with the series is her fascination with short men. I did an Anita based RPG and made all the cats 6'5".
Thanks for the offer of the book, I'm on the list too.
cymbidia said:And tell, me - doesn't everything about Anita Blake scream KillerMuffin to you? I think Laurell K. Hamilton must know our Muffy irl.
I dunno, KM would never cry, no matter how much lycanthrope goo she got on her. I don't see her picking Jean CLaude over Richard either, but enough of that. Yes, LKH knows her BDSM, the good and the bad. The only complaint I have with the series is her fascination with short men. I did an Anita based RPG and made all the cats 6'5".
Thanks for the offer of the book, I'm on the list too.
lilminx
...
- Joined
- Sep 13, 2001
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- 19,004
First off, I would like to say that this is a great thread- very informative
Second, I have a male friend whom I used to date. We have always been interested in some aspects of BDSM, but only played around a little. I actually have been with men since him who are a little more into the lifestyle. Now he and I are just friends (well, I'm trying to be just friends, but he wants more), and he really wants me to dominate him. I have a couple of issues with this:
1) I really don't know what to do regarding domination and I'd be afraid that I would hurt him (even though he says that I couldn't hurt him- I guess he's a masochist)
2) Since I really am not experienced in this, I prefer at this time to be the submissive person (which is the role I've played when I was with the men who were more into the scene), but I wouldn't want HIM to dominate me
3) Any experience I have had has not involved pain such as whips, torture, etc.
I was thinking of telling him that I would go with him to see a Dominatrix, and tell her what to do to him. Does anyone else have any other advice or suggestions? I would really appreciate it, since so many of you on this BB are so knowledgable in this area.
Second, I have a male friend whom I used to date. We have always been interested in some aspects of BDSM, but only played around a little. I actually have been with men since him who are a little more into the lifestyle. Now he and I are just friends (well, I'm trying to be just friends, but he wants more), and he really wants me to dominate him. I have a couple of issues with this:
1) I really don't know what to do regarding domination and I'd be afraid that I would hurt him (even though he says that I couldn't hurt him- I guess he's a masochist)
2) Since I really am not experienced in this, I prefer at this time to be the submissive person (which is the role I've played when I was with the men who were more into the scene), but I wouldn't want HIM to dominate me
3) Any experience I have had has not involved pain such as whips, torture, etc.
I was thinking of telling him that I would go with him to see a Dominatrix, and tell her what to do to him. Does anyone else have any other advice or suggestions? I would really appreciate it, since so many of you on this BB are so knowledgable in this area.
Hecate
Lady Hecate will do
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2000
- Posts
- 1,657
darn - I would have a few suggestions but ...
.. am in a real hurry right now so shall mail you asap ... give me a day or two lilminx, ok?
Anything he expressed an interested in - besides pain? Is he into humiliation or such? that often is something men crave but wouldn't admit ... so there are options that do not involve pain but do reach the desires of some male subbies
*gggggrrrrrr* have to run but shall be back on this ....
.. am in a real hurry right now so shall mail you asap ... give me a day or two lilminx, ok?
Anything he expressed an interested in - besides pain? Is he into humiliation or such? that often is something men crave but wouldn't admit ... so there are options that do not involve pain but do reach the desires of some male subbies
*gggggrrrrrr* have to run but shall be back on this ....
lilminx
...
- Joined
- Sep 13, 2001
- Posts
- 19,004
Re: darn - I would have a few suggestions but ...
THanks Hecate - I really appreciate you taking the time to help me- and I have no problem waiting a day or two- I'm in no rush, believe me- lol.
I don't think he'd be into public humiliation, but I think he'd like verbal. He'd probably like a good mind-fuck too- lol.
Hecate said:
THanks Hecate - I really appreciate you taking the time to help me- and I have no problem waiting a day or two- I'm in no rush, believe me- lol.
I don't think he'd be into public humiliation, but I think he'd like verbal. He'd probably like a good mind-fuck too- lol.
chatbug
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Dec 6, 2000
- Posts
- 288
Do you want to dominate
Hello lilminx, and welcome. I'm sure Hecate will have lots of helpful hints for you when she gets a chance to post them.
Do you have desires to be dominant, and just feel you lack the experience or is domination something you're just not comfortable with? I'm having trouble telling from your posts.
If you have the desire, but want more experience, then I'm pretty sure your friend will let you practice on him.
If you don't have the desire at all, then I don't feel you'll get much pleasure from being dominant.
lilminx said:
Hello lilminx, and welcome. I'm sure Hecate will have lots of helpful hints for you when she gets a chance to post them.
Do you have desires to be dominant, and just feel you lack the experience or is domination something you're just not comfortable with? I'm having trouble telling from your posts.
If you have the desire, but want more experience, then I'm pretty sure your friend will let you practice on him.
If you don't have the desire at all, then I don't feel you'll get much pleasure from being dominant.
