New to BDSM, I have a few questions.

Freckles8155

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Mar 12, 2016
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I'm pretty new to bdsm, i just started dating a guy that's trying to get me
Into it and it's definitly working. He is somewhat new too it as well. He's very dominant but in a caring way if that makes sense. I like it because i feel dominated but I also feel like I can trust him and that he cares. Every time we have sex he pushes my limits a little further. The first time it was just light choking and pinning me down, then he started choking me with a little more pressure and used restraints, then we added a ball gag. He's also started slapping and spanking me. I love all of it. I want to do things to please him too but every time I even try to touch him he just says "don't worry about me" and pulls my hand away. Outside of sex we are very affectionate with each other. Is it normal for a dom to act like that? Also what are some other things we can try?
 
I want to do things to please him too but every time I even try to touch him he just says "don't worry about me" and pulls my hand away. Outside of sex we are very affectionate with each other. Is it normal for a dom to act like that?

The good thing about a Dom is that (s)he will let you know what (s)he wants you to do to please him/her. ;)
Does it really matter if he is the only one on this whole planet or not?

I don't like to have my head touched (the one on top of my neck); drives my wife crazy so I sometimes accept it like the dog does the shower.
 
I'm pretty new to bdsm, i just started dating a guy that's trying to get me
Into it and it's definitly working. He is somewhat new too it as well. He's very dominant but in a caring way if that makes sense. I like it because i feel dominated but I also feel like I can trust him and that he cares. Every time we have sex he pushes my limits a little further. The first time it was just light choking and pinning me down, then he started choking me with a little more pressure and used restraints, then we added a ball gag. He's also started slapping and spanking me. I love all of it. I want to do things to please him too but every time I even try to touch him he just says "don't worry about me" and pulls my hand away. Outside of sex we are very affectionate with each other. Is it normal for a dom to act like that? Also what are some other things we can try?

The cool thing about having a partner in charge is you know for sure if they say they don't want something, they mean it. I mean what incentive would a person in charge have to forgo accepting something they really want from a partner? In short, trust him. If he wants something from you he'll tell you.

With that said, if you have a great desire to do something of service for him, ask him what you can do that he DOES want.
 
I agree that what's normal is irrelevant to you. However, in my relationship my husband is the one who does things to me. He could tell me to do things to him, but he is much happier being the doer most of the time. When he wants something from me he tells me when and how.
 
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