backslash
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2003
- Posts
- 124
...to go to bed. It's been a hard and long day. And I feel more tired than for a long time. Just one of those days where coffee seem to have no effect, the computer screen at work seems to have letters that makes no sense, and your head keeps telling you you are useless and can't do anything. I have those days quite a lot. Especially during winter. When the world seems to get cold and dark around you, not willing to give even a hint of sun or warmth.
...to reconsider my wants and needs. I keep saying I know what I want, but do I really? And am I ready to take the chances and risks to get it? Or will I keep going in the same direction and stay lonely?
...to reconsider what I think about myself. Is my perception of me the same as what others have. Do they see me as the person I try so hard to be? The person I really am! Or do I appear to be something else - and if so, whose fault is that - mine?
...to post some new pics. Since you people have waiting patiently and had to read through my ramblings for once.
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Wow. As usual, I get busy with the vagaries of life and end up away from Lit for a while, only to return and find you have posted so many stunning and sexy photos of yourself. I think all I can offer is a heartfelt "Thank you for sharing."
As for your comments on your want, needs, wishes, and risks, it's very hard to say. I personally went through some things that had made me decide that the risks were no longer worth the rewards and staying lonely was a better option. That has gone on for about a year and a half, and now I'm in a similar situation as you - thinking maybe it's time to take some risks again... but it's not an easy decision to make and I frequently find reasons to put off making any changes. Now, I'm thinking it's better to move forward under my own power than just drift along, so some changes are slowly being made.
As for how you're perceived by others - I think it's more important to worry about yourself and your own feelings - if you're happy with who you are, then there is nothing to worry about. There is nothing to be gained in trying to change yourself just to please others. I stopped trying that a while ago, and it's made me a happier person, and I find I end up making friends with good people who appreciate me for who I am.
Just some rambling thoughts on my part, on this dreary, rainy, cold evening. All the best to you.