First person, multiple perspectives

RoyceConnors said:

I think the point here is more the fact it can be done, but will it read well with readers?

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The original question I posted was hoping to get an idea of can it be done, if so how, maybe some successful examples on literotica, and what readers think of it.

My inspiration came thinking back to a book I once read which was a collection of eye witness reports on the Vilnius TV tower protests in Jan 1991. That features series of reports from different eyewitnesses of the same event.

I'm also still sitting on a draft here where part of the story revolves around a group of characters which is told in the third person, while another part is told through the eyes of the key character (protagonist is not the correct word here) in first person present tense. Experimental in many ways. Really gotta get it finished and get it out, see what reactions it gets (if any).

I think I mentioned I'm now working on a book that does that (a Mideast terrorism GM one). I've done first person from the perspective of four characters now, but as I move toward the resolution of the mystery, I'm finding that, although I can still do chapters from the perspective of characters, that I have to move to the third person--to better describe the action and not to reveal what characters are really thinking. I'll make the transition only once, though. We'll see how that turns out.

i_would said:

The original question I posted was hoping to get an idea of can it be done, if so how, maybe some successful examples on literotica, and what readers think of it.

My inspiration came thinking back to a book I once read which was a collection of eye witness reports on the Vilnius TV tower protests in Jan 1991. That features series of reports from different eyewitnesses of the same event.

I'm also still sitting on a draft here where part of the story revolves around a group of characters which is told in the third person, while another part is told through the eyes of the key character (protagonist is not the correct word here) in first person present tense. Experimental in many ways. Really gotta get it finished and get it out, see what reactions it gets (if any).

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You could use 1st POV for all dialogue, if you mention who is speaking at the time. As in the case of the news story, the reporter would be narrating and describing, then introducing a witness and letting them become the 1st POV.

You could use 3rd POV as the narration and set up the dialogue for each speaker to relate their version. As I said, it can be done, just not an easy task for a writer to do successfully. Get several opinions of your draft and see how each one responds to it. If it reads well without ambiguity, it should fly with the readers.

Switching 1st Person POV

I had a go at something similar a while ago

"He pushed me to the ground

She begged me not to hurt her.

He promised if I did what he said he wouldn’t hurt me.

He told me to lift my skirt up so he could see my knickers.’

I closed my eyes and I tried to keep my legs pressed together as I pulled my skirt up around my waist. I didn’t want him to look between my legs

I couldn’t believe I had her lying on the ground doing what I asked. Taking hold of her ankles I spread her legs apart.

Little white knickers with some kind of motif covered her slit.

I could sense him standing over me. I heard a zipper being pulled down. I opened my eyes. He was standing there with his cock in his hand rubbing it. As I watched as it grew and stiffened.

Kneeling down he pushed a finger against my cotton covered slit.

I was terrified, I pleaded for him to stop.

She jumped as I pressed harder forcing the cotton into her. The night air was cold on her legs and she had goose pimples on her thighs. Kneeling between her thighs I pointed my cock at her slit.

I grunted as he pushed his cock against my knickers.

I begged him not to rape me.

Her pleading turned me on."

You lost me at knickers.

sr71plt said:

You lost me at knickers.

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I'm assuming you meant the first instance.

I think it shows why unless you MUST switch, you just shouldn't.

The back and forth is a mess. Doubly so when it goes from

Him:Her:Him:Her to

Him:Him: Ok, forget that, back to her: Him: Double her: Him: Her:

You never get more than a tiny bite of the person and it's too insane to meld all their details in your mind when it's all broken up.

Large chunks maybe but it still interferes with clarity unless you are perfect in transition.

RoyceConnors said:

You could use 1st POV for all dialogue, if you mention who is speaking at the time. As in the case of the news story, the reporter would be narrating and describing, then introducing a witness and letting them become the 1st POV.

You could use 3rd POV as the narration and set up the dialogue for each speaker to relate their version. As I said, it can be done, just not an easy task for a writer to do successfully. Get several opinions of your draft and see how each one responds to it. If it reads well without ambiguity, it should fly with the readers.

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A previous story of mine I used the interview-style, http://www.literotica.com/s/hunting-for-prey Got a pretty poor score at just 3.61, no idea why. Maybe readers don't like this style? Or the subject matter?

Actually I've done the exact opposite now. The first person part is narrative, for the simple reason that in first person you can dig into one's head, and have them recall past events and so while they go their business. Just like when say you're sitting on the bus or the train, going trhough your morning commute, thoughts wandering around.

The third party part is dialogue. With barely any narration. That's intentional of course, just to see whehter I could pull that off. It seems to work, for me at least. And in case of only two parties involved, you can often completely get away without using any "he said/she said" tags, and as there is little to no narration there is also no digging around in heads.

I also got a pure dialogue based story out here, http://www.literotica.com/s/caught-by-the-rain which got an OK 4.01 score. Not too bad, especially considering that one took me just a few hours to write, edit and submit.

I like to experiment a bit with oddball styles when writing. Makes it more interesting to me,

Just another case of write it the way you want to and give less worry about ratings on Literotica. Fundamental to becoming a better writer is to write more and to experiment. This isn't the New Yorker and your pay isn't going to be docked if you don't get a red H slapped on the story.