COVID-19 RESOURCES
LIT CAMS (200 Free Tokens)ADULT TOYSVOD MOVIES

Drug to kill sex drive?

Spenser41

Spenser41

Nice Guy
Joined
Mar 27, 2002
Posts
14,238
Is there such a thing? I am 59, in a loveless sexless marriage, can not leave or support myself. I am tried of all the frustration and cravings and would rather kill it then to be frustrated all the time.
This is serious and not a joke. If you know something, please tell me.
 
hormonal birth control, glad to be done with it.

since you're unlikely to find a doc to prescribe it for you, try black licorice, it supposedly lowers testosterone. Low T, low drive...

and maybe start looking into the tiny house movement.
 
Why not just bring back the love and sex in the marriage? Instead of suffering... /shrug
 
katalynn said:
Why not just bring back the love and sex in the marriage? Instead of suffering... /shrug
Click to expand...

Easier said than done. I am assuming his spouse is not so receptive to working to make things better.
 
Yes it's not gonna happen. So easy to say...spent 10 yrs trying...counseling, nothing has worked...so I give up.....thanks anyway...this was a damn idea.
 
And from the sound of it a psychiatrist would have to be deaf, dumb and blind not to see you are depressed enough to warrant medication. Just be sure to let them know that you want something that kills libido and explain the why of it to them. Usually they field requests for antidepressants which will improve the libido since depression is a common cause of low T (which increases depression which lowers T levels ad infinitum) so be patient and as calm and rational as you can be when explaining it to them.

You could also look for over-the-counter medications which have sexual side effects. Zantac, Pepcid and Tagamet are some examples. Google the terms "kill libido men"
 
Domesticity said:
I know antidepressants can destroy sex drive in many people.
Click to expand...

"Certain sexual side effects" does not always mean kills libido. The most commonly reported sexual side effect from SSRI's like Prozac, Wellbutrin, Paxil maybe? is exactly what you do not want. You can still become aroused, still perform but you cannot get off, or have a much harder time doing so than before. Anorgasmic is the term.

Your serotonin levels are raised because as your body produces it, the normal mechanism that abates the level through "re-uptake' is switched off. Good news is your lows are not as low because your serotonin levels are elevated..

Bad news is your highs are not as high because your brain recognizes it has plenty of serotonin floating around and the other neurotransmitters like norephnifrin and dopamine are not as strongly called for hormonally when normally they would like an orgasm, a feeling of accomplishment, heavy exercise..bungee jumping.

It may give you a flat affect.

As far as the wife I am not going to suppose you can do anything about it...no counseling almost never works for bed-death. I like Athol Kaye at Married Man's Sex life.

Even if perhaps its a bit long for some of those techniques to improve your love life they will improve you and make you feel better about you.

Are you convinced you cannot be successful seeking outlets away from your marriage?...Afraid to get caught? Morally opposed to it? Not suggesting or opposing any of those things just want to know where your head is at.

If you are for your reasons wanting to go to a celibate place in your life, Sex Addicts Anonymous will be effective in helping you cope. No, they will not laugh or judge that you are not getting "actual" sex but dealing with obsessive feelings about sexuality that you would rather not have. That is more the norm there than the exception.

Do not be embarrassed. You did not pick to be in a sexless marriage...no one does..not even the low libido, with-holding, possibly depressed, possibly medically affected partner that currently doesn't want sex.

Yeah, if I could look over your shoulder I can point out some things you did "wrong" as in not in YOUR better interest. Only because I allowed a lot of things to continue when I should have asserted myself early and often. I am happily divorced...wasnt my choice, wasnt my plan..but it works out. I started with nothing renting a little, ugly pink house...feeding my four children still at home from an igloo cooler cooled with ice "borrowed" from work each day. Didnt even have a stove in the place to start just a really good microwave and a 5th burner.

"can't support' is maybe true now. Regardless of circumstances...disabled? HArd to emply? Mobility issues? There are scads of agencies out there wasting money right and left. Talk to a social worker somewhere..if it isnt an agency that can help, someone can...

consider local churches...even if not a member, some may have programs to help community members without regard to faith without prosleytizing (much...the bastards cant help themselves)

good luck and feel free to share your frustrations here or anywhere. Talking about it is better than not talking about it.
 
query said:
"Certain sexual side effects" does not always mean kills libido. The most commonly reported sexual side effect from SSRI's like Prozac, Wellbutrin, Paxil maybe? is exactly what you do not want. You can still become aroused, still perform but you cannot get off, or have a much harder time doing so than before. Anorgasmic is the term.

Your serotonin levels are raised because as your body produces it, the normal mechanism that abates the level through "re-uptake' is switched off. Good news is your lows are not as low because your serotonin levels are elevated..

Bad news is your highs are not as high because your brain recognizes it has plenty of serotonin floating around and the other neurotransmitters like norephnifrin and dopamine are not as strongly called for hormonally when normally they would like an orgasm, a feeling of accomplishment, heavy exercise..bungee jumping.

It may give you a flat affect.

As far as the wife I am not going to suppose you can do anything about it...no counseling almost never works for bed-death. I like Athol Kaye at Married Man's Sex life.

Even if perhaps its a bit long for some of those techniques to improve your love life they will improve you and make you feel better about you.

Are you convinced you cannot be successful seeking outlets away from your marriage?...Afraid to get caught? Morally opposed to it? Not suggesting or opposing any of those things just want to know where your head is at.

If you are for your reasons wanting to go to a celibate place in your life, Sex Addicts Anonymous will be effective in helping you cope. No, they will not laugh or judge that you are not getting "actual" sex but dealing with obsessive feelings about sexuality that you would rather not have. That is more the norm there than the exception.

Do not be embarrassed. You did not pick to be in a sexless marriage...no one does..not even the low libido, with-holding, possibly depressed, possibly medically affected partner that currently doesn't want sex.

Yeah, if I could look over your shoulder I can point out some things you did "wrong" as in not in YOUR better interest. Only because I allowed a lot of things to continue when I should have asserted myself early and often. I am happily divorced...wasnt my choice, wasnt my plan..but it works out. I started with nothing renting a little, ugly pink house...feeding my four children still at home from an igloo cooler cooled with ice "borrowed" from work each day. Didnt even have a stove in the place to start just a really good microwave and a 5th burner.

"can't support' is maybe true now. Regardless of circumstances...disabled? HArd to emply? Mobility issues? There are scads of agencies out there wasting money right and left. Talk to a social worker somewhere..if it isnt an agency that can help, someone can...

consider local churches...even if not a member, some may have programs to help community members without regard to faith without prosleytizing (much...the bastards cant help themselves)

good luck and feel free to share your frustrations here or anywhere. Talking about it is better than not talking about it.
Click to expand...

Thank you...the first serious answer I've been looking for. Thank you.
 
Well, I know it is easier said than done.. however, lot of people do not even bother trying. They just simply give up.

To me, personally, counseling is silly... but what do I know about that. Absolutely nothing because I never had to go there.

My last relationship was one sided, so, I can relate to having a one sided relationship.

Just figured I'd throw it out there. There's a ton of ways of bringing things back into a relationship, but if it is one sided.. then, yea. Time to find something on the side, or keep on suffering. /shrug.

I don't do medicated drugs so have no idea what they do for people. Guess it's always worth a shot.

Maybe toss in the idea of having an open relationship.

Anyway... g'luck with whatever you do. /shrug.. :confused:
 
There is something they give sex offenders which is supposed to cause "chemical castration."

I doubt that you would want to do that, though.

You could talk to a doctor about it if you know a good one. I'm pretty sure there are things that could help and not be harmful.
 
On serotonin

query said:
"Your serotonin levels are raised because as your body produces it, the normal mechanism that abates the level through "re-uptake' is switched off. Good news is your lows are not as low because your serotonin levels are elevated..
Click to expand...

You seem to refer to the serotonin-as-the-happy-chemical notion. Yet, substantial research data show that this idea is an assumption rather than a well established fact (see: http://www.supplements-and-health.com/tryptophan-side-effects.html ). Apparently, Big pharma started the misleading promotion of this myth to market their antidepressant drugs.
 
Psychotherapy: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I'm not being flippant. Consider your current libido issue in terms of a sex addiction and try applying the therapeutic tools used to treat sex addiction. This would be my first choice since divorce seems to be off the table for you and therapy won't affect your physical well-being.

I still think seeing a psychiatrist and asking for an antidepressant which negatively affects libido is your best bet. A loveless, sexless marriage is a prescription for depression. So getting on something to treat your depression while simultaneously curbing your libido is right up a psychiatrist's alley. If you think seeing a psychiatrist makes you weak, or are worried about the societal stigma associated with mental health care... get the fuck over it. You can chose to continue on your current path, or you can choose to chart a new course for yourself. Screw everyone else' opinion! It's your life, not theirs! </soapbox>

Another option: You could try to increase your estrogen levels and decrease testosterone levels. Look for foods that increase estrogen levels (soy products for one) and decrease testosterone levels (grapefruit, licorice, etc.) All you need to do is throw your balance of testosterone to estrogen to start killing your libido. Just be aware of the downsides of increasing your estrogen levels (man-boobs, belly fat increase, etc.) The decision on whether it is worth it or not is yours alone. Just don't expect a rapid change or regular results. I also recommend if you go this route to get physical checkups just to make sure you're not screwing something else up.

Advice: If you are thinking of lowering your T levels, I'd see a doctor and have them run a few T level tests first. Lowering your T levels on purpose can lead to a myriad of other medical issues. Hell, as a man over 35 you should be getting the prostate checked yearly, so just request they run a testosterone panel for you.
 
Seriously.....the antidepressants might serve two purposes.....kill the sex drive and help cure your depression. This really does sound like true depression and professional help is in order.

Not wanting to be a wiseass, but many in your situation have simply found other women to have sex with. Trust me, there are a lot of frustrated married women out there too. While many here would not recommend this and if there was a real hope for the marriage, I wouldn't recommend it either. However, in your case, it could be a viable answer.
 
Now this brings back some miserable memories. I was in, if not the same, a similar situation some years ago. In my particular situation I tried everything I could think of to rectify the loveless, sexless relationship. She was completely unresponsive and refused every effort. I'm not by nature the sort to give up but I tried for a couple of years.

Like yourself I looked into other options such as drugs to at least make it bearable. Though when I looked into it the pay off tended to be pretty grim. In the end I decided to write a blunt letter where I wrote down everything I was unhappy with, the problems and how I felt. I encouraged her to do the same. She didn't bother, saying she couldn't think of anything. In the end I decided that if I remained I wouldn't make, literally and left. One of the hardest choices I ever had to make, as I had little in way of income and no family or friends to turn to. It was hell.

However, finally, things got better and easier. It's over and I am the happier for it, I'm even friends with my ex now. I don't know the specifics of your situation but I sincerely hope that whatever choices you end up making, you'll be the happier for it.
 
Spenser41 said:
Is there such a thing? I am 59, in a loveless sexless marriage, can not leave or support myself. I am tried of all the frustration and cravings and would rather kill it then to be frustrated all the time.
This is serious and not a joke. If you know something, please tell me.
Click to expand...

Why can't you leave or support yourself?
 
satindesire said:
Why can't you leave or support yourself?
Click to expand...

I was wondering that myself. It is a rather a bald statement.

Most people making such a claim would offer some kind of prefatory explanation: something like "I have MS and am wheelchair-bound, so I cannot...
or
"I am blind so I cannot..."
or
"...Her father is a big-time mafioso, and if I leave her his thugs will kneecap me, so I cannot...

You narrative does not flow; it does not feel natural. Please fill in the gaps. How is it that you have come to such a pass?
 
BertrandRussell said:
I was wondering that myself. It is a rather a bald statement.

Most people making such a claim would offer some kind of prefatory explanation: something like "I have MS and am wheelchair-bound, so I cannot...
or
"I am blind so I cannot..."
or
"...Her father is a big-time mafioso, and if I leave her his thugs will kneecap me, so I cannot...

You narrative does not flow; it does not feel natural. Please fill in the gaps. How is it that you have come to such a pass?
Click to expand...


I did some digging because I always feel highly suspicious in these kinds of threads. Generally speaking, the OP is just looking for people to give them permission to cheat on their spouses.

This is what I found. These are posts by the OP:

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=162458

"I have a special someone in my life and we are having some problems. She is very shy and has a hard time being sexual. She is not one to be very sensual and when it comes to sex, I am always the one to start things. She says I am the only man that has ever made her feel that sex is not dirty but loving and caring. She rarely comes on to me and when I try to be sexual to her and playful, sometimes she is very embarrassed by it, which makes me feel like I did something wrong, so I back off. She is also turned off by sexual words and says they are a turn off for her. So dirty talking is out. And another thing is that it seems the only way I can get her to climax is orally, which I do not mind, I love. But intercourse does nothing for her. She said it is for you, it does nothing for me. Most of the time when we do intercourse she just lays there, which makes it harder for me to climax. She has no problem with giving me oral, but she tires easy and said she is used to someone cumming fast when she does this and what is my problem. It takes me time to climax but to be honest, she really is not that very good at it and I am not about to tell her that and hurt her feelings, so I wind up helping her which she is on one point upset that she can not bring me off and another point glad that I am helping. And I am not talking about a LONG TIME either. She tires after 3 or 4 mins and starts to get frustrated. She also takes a long time to climax, but I keep at it until she does, which sometimes is as long as 15-20 mins. Yet I do not complain. She says she loves me and we get along great in all areas but this. So ladies, what can I do or say to help her in this area without hurting her feelings because I do not want to do that. Right now, I am taking care of myself more and more so we do not have these frustraing times about sex. Any suggestions? I did get some Better Sex videos to help us. The first time she saw them, she got turned on, the second time she saw them, she said it did nothing for her. So I am at my wits end on this. Ladies, can you help me?"

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=243545

"This is going to be strange for me to do a thread, but I guess I would love some feed back from those who have been in the same shoes as I am.
I was married for about 20 yrs. We did not know either other very long when we got married. About 4 months total. 4 months into the marriage I knew there were problems, but I just keep working on it. I was madly in love with her and showered her with all kinds of love. 2 years later we came close to a divorce because I just felt she did not want me sexually or any other way. She had been married before and had cheated on her first husband and she said she did that because the ex was never around. She never really said why she didn't warm up to me, but she said she did not want another divorce in her life, so we decided to stick it out... and had 3 kids about 2 yrs apart, who we both love and adore. But for most part after they were born she just avoided me. For the longest time I thought it was me. Maybe I was not a good lover or was just so butt ugly... I had no idea why she didn't want me. Well, it got to the point that I just stopped trying and just lived in the marriage. We did not hate each other, but we were just roomies if you want to put it that way.
A few years ago, around 95, I had a scare with my heart and I told her I did not want to continue to live like this. That I wanted a wife not a roommate. She said... and I am qouting here... I have never wanted you or desired you in that way. I said then why did we get married and she said.. I have no idea.
To say the least that really crushed me. I did something stupid about 5 months later and had an affair with a friend. After it ended I decided I did not want to keep doing this so I asked for a divorce and after 2 yrs of fighting over who gets what and stuff, she agreed. (Of course she kept everything and I got some personal stuff and my clothes and a car and that was it. I also had to take all of the bills and leave her with no debt and pay child support which was only to one kid since the others were grown and pay her alimony.) I know my lawyer said that was a rip, but I was to the point that I was just agreeing to get out of the marriage. We decided to stay as close as friends as we could because of the kids. My mom was married 4 times and I hated all the fighting and war crap. I did not want to do that to my kids and for the most part that has worked out ok.
It also came out the reason why she could not be close to me was because she had been abused by some family members and I reminded her of one of them. She never told me this the entire marriage and even when I suggested counseling or getting help, she said it was all my fault because I was a sex addict for wanting it more then once month or two. ( Yea she said that)
Anyway, one of my kids is getting married and my ex and I were talking about the wedding and stuff that had to be dealt with and she said... I am getting married in a few months. I said oh, really? She said yes.. and I don't tell me anything negitive as I am hearing it from others as it is, but I have only known him a month but he is the ONE. I said really? She said yes, and the reason I know this is because I have never had anyone be nuts about me before. I did not say a thing, but I thought.. oh really? Gee I guess I just got married to you for the hell of it.
She started to cry and say how great he was and all and I just sat there and listened and didn't say anything. When she was done, I just said, well I am happy for you and if he makes you happy ... she said he does... I said well then I wish you two the best. She said thank you. It is so great to have someone in my life that just wants to shower me with love. I said well I am happy for you.

Ok... so... I hang up and I am like... what the hell was I? Chopped liver? I know this seems stupid to go on about this... but it really did hurt. She even said.. I hope you do not take it personal. How else am I supposed to take it?

Do I still love her? No, not a romantic love, but a caring love. We did have 3 kids together and we were together for over 20 yrs. I guess I would hope that in that 20 yrs or so, that I meant something to her and not just a sperm donor. Iguess what bothers me is that I am kind of surprised her words stung so much. So... am I being silly or what?"

Note the dates on those posts, this was back on '04! Apparently, this guy has been here on Lit for 10 years, asking the SAME questions, and he hasn't bothered divorcing her yet, according to his OP.

He knew her for 4 months, got married to her, and even though sex has, according to him, ALWAYS been a problem with them, he still stayed with her. And he's STILL having the same problems.

At this point, I don't really understand why he keeps asking the same questions here on Lit. What else can we tell him that we haven't yet?

And what about the second post? Is he still with her or has he left her for good?! Because now in this NEW post, apparently he's still with her even though in the second post I linked, they divorced or something?! I don't even know!

I'm starting to doubt the truthfulness of these stories because the facts don't match up.
 
Last edited:
Spenser41 said:
Is there such a thing? I am 59, in a loveless sexless marriage, can not leave or support myself. I am tried of all the frustration and cravings and would rather kill it then to be frustrated all the time.
This is serious and not a joke. If you know something, please tell me.
Click to expand...

If you snort a lot of cocaine you won't be able to get an erection. Try that.
 
He's posting in other threads according to his posting history, but he avoids this one.

What's the matter OP? Were our questions too difficult to answer? :rolleyes:
 
satindesire said:
He's posting in other threads according to his posting history, but he avoids this one.

What's the matter OP? Were our questions too difficult to answer? :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

You know, sometimes you can act like such an asshole. You seem to thrive when finding inconsistency in posters and just egg them on. Don't forget we all have a past.

Why not just leave it alone for once?
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

B
How to increase sex drive
2
Replies
28
Views
2K
MattBKD
M
C
How to cum with no hands (for people with vaginas)
Replies
6
Views
2K
Volk359
Volk359
DeepAchingNeed
How to connect... for real
Replies
12
Views
2K
Cliffsnrivers
Cliffsnrivers
Dapperguy
Primula Cheese Play
Replies
5
Views
745
PeteyPP
P
I
Need some tips on how to seduce my uncle 's wife
2
Replies
44
Views
5K
NorCalLoki
N
Back
Top