Conflicted about sucking cock

kcniceguy4u said:

Your story is one that many of us would like to experience. Sometimes we live just to JO in our home privately by ourself. It would be more fun to act on our impulses and enjoy our sexuality like you did with your newfound friend. I wish there was somebody that I could talk with and meet for coffee in Kansas City or St. Louis to discuss Male sexuality. I know in many cities there are clubs places where guys can have a good time.

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Agree...but once you take the plunge there's nothing like it...still love sex with a woman...but sometimes ya gotta scratch that itch

bicuriousinseattle said:

I had the worst experience with an ex-girlfriend over all this. Had no idea she would be so hostile about everything, given how hot we both got fantasizing about cuckold play. She basically accused me of using her, threatened to "out" me to all of my friends, and said our whole relationship was a lie.

This is probably the biggest reason it's taken me so long to decide I want to at least try sucking cock and see how I like it; even when I fantasize sometimes I remember the really mean things she said.

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I have had two long term relationships with women who were too monogamous (and perhaps bi-phobic) to handle my bisexuality, but then I had a dominant gf who was totally cool with it because she understood my need to balance the leadership demands of my daily work with a more submissive aspect in my sex life. She would ask about my fantasies and past experiences, and never betrayed my trust. I think being with a Domme for several years helped to liberate me as a man.

My current gf is wonderful, also. She is a don't ask/don't tell type and we do not live together. She knows that I would never do anything to put her health at risk.

The closest conflicted feeling I had when I first actually put the cock in my mouth.
there was that voice of protest. I put hand hand around it, and the voice screamed in protest, stroking it apprehensively, more out of from what I've seen in porn that if your holding a dick you might aswell be stroking it. When I started leaning in with my mouth open the voice was screaming louder than ever. I proceeded without pausing. I wanted to see what the whole act of sucking a cock was about. So now there's a cock in my mouth, and the voice is telling me 'you have a cock on your mouth' without even realising, I guess from all the porn and actually wanting to suck a cock I was moving it in and out of my mouth, and distinctly remember feeling the whole thing against my tongue. The voice was drowned out in about 20 seconds when I remember starting to think, what's soo bad about this? Progressing to 'this isn't that bad', to feeling it grow in my mouth getting really big, taking the whole thing as far into my mouth as i can, grabbing the base with my hand and sucking it and pulling it more and more in my mouth.
It was then that realised that I didn't care about any preconceived social stereotypes or labels. As a guy I shouldn't be on my knees sucking a cock and enjoying it. When it comes to sex, I don't care how gay or straight. If it feels good, do it.

bicurious19 said:

The closest conflicted feeling I had when I first actually put the cock in my mouth.
there was that voice of protest. I put hand hand around it, and the voice screamed in protest, stroking it apprehensively, more out of from what I've seen in porn that if your holding a dick you might aswell be stroking it. When I started leaning in with my mouth open the voice was screaming louder than ever. I proceeded without pausing. I wanted to see what the whole act of sucking a cock was about. So now there's a cock in my mouth, and the voice is telling me 'you have a cock on your mouth' without even realising, I guess from all the porn and actually wanting to suck a cock I was moving it in and out of my mouth, and distinctly remember feeling the whole thing against my tongue. The voice was drowned out in about 20 seconds when I remember starting to think, what's soo bad about this? Progressing to 'this isn't that bad', to feeling it grow in my mouth getting really big, taking the whole thing as far into my mouth as i can, grabbing the base with my hand and sucking it and pulling it more and more in my mouth.
It was then that realised that I didn't care about any preconceived social stereotypes or labels. As a guy I shouldn't be on my knees sucking a cock and enjoying it. When it comes to sex, I don't care how gay or straight. If it feels good, do it.

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Hoping to experience the same next week sometime if all goes well. I'm very nervous about it so will expect to feel the same conflicts. I will however, like you, strive to overcome those conflicts and learn to become a good cock sucker. Can't wait to discover myself.

bicurious19 said:

The closest conflicted feeling I had when I first actually put the cock in my mouth.
there was that voice of protest. I put hand hand around it, and the voice screamed in protest, stroking it apprehensively, more out of from what I've seen in porn that if your holding a dick you might aswell be stroking it. When I started leaning in with my mouth open the voice was screaming louder than ever. I proceeded without pausing. I wanted to see what the whole act of sucking a cock was about. So now there's a cock in my mouth, and the voice is telling me 'you have a cock on your mouth' without even realising, I guess from all the porn and actually wanting to suck a cock I was moving it in and out of my mouth, and distinctly remember feeling the whole thing against my tongue. The voice was drowned out in about 20 seconds when I remember starting to think, what's soo bad about this? Progressing to 'this isn't that bad', to feeling it grow in my mouth getting really big, taking the whole thing as far into my mouth as i can, grabbing the base with my hand and sucking it and pulling it more and more in my mouth.
It was then that realised that I didn't care about any preconceived social stereotypes or labels. As a guy I shouldn't be on my knees sucking a cock and enjoying it. When it comes to sex, I don't care how gay or straight. If it feels good, do it.

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During the formative experiences I had as a "youth" with my best friend Larry, I would be racked with guilt immediately after each episode of having sucked his cock and I would resolve never to repeat the practice. But my resolve would dissipate whenever another opportunity to blow him presented itself and these feelings of regret became less powerful over time eventually disappearing entirely. I had become a "cocksucker"!

If your only sexual experiences with men involve guys who run off immediately after orgasm, that tends to cause problems for curious men who feel conflicted in the first place.

I was fortunate that my first male lover was not like that at all. He felt perfectly comfortable hanging out with me after we both came, and we both came very strongly after a long seductive build-up on his part. His behavior after this great experience reassured me that we had nothing to be ashamed of.

I had two other male lovers who were the same way, where afterwards we hung out together, naked and open, and felt the glow for a while.

Those kinds of experiences blot out the cum-and-run tendency, which is often the result of homophobia.

stickygirl said:

Sadly I can see that being a common situation when you have a partner and no amount of reason will undo the emotional recoil a partner can have.

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That is so well put. I still remember confessing a fantasy to my ex-wife and the look of disgust on her face. The relationship wasn't great at that point but I never trusted her enough to bare my soul to her ever again. When somebody who is supposed to love you unconditionally, looks at you when you are at your most vulnerable, and the look is as though they want to scrape the dogshit off their shoe, it leaves an impression. I am so much less trusting now, even 25 years later.

.....

bareman said:

That is so well put. I still remember confessing a fantasy to my ex-wife and the look of disgust on her face. The relationship wasn't great at that point but I never trusted her enough to bare my soul to her ever again. When somebody who is supposed to love you unconditionally, looks at you when you are at your most vulnerable, and the look is as though they want to scrape the dogshit off their shoe, it leaves an impression. I am so much less trusting now, even 25 years later.

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The one time I did take the plunge and confess to my wife that as a teenager I used to suck my best friend Larry's cock on a regular basis and that I liked doing it and I liked the slutty way that "being a cocksucker" made me feel. She accepted my admission and saw it as being nothing more than adolescent sexual experimentation, but then let the matter drop. I would have preferred her to express a little more curiosity and want to know more about the episode. I omitted telling her that I'm still an insatiable cocksucker and that I indulge my cock craving whenever the opportunity arises. I don't like being deceitful and dishonest with my wife and I have attempted numerous times to engage my wife in conversation on the subject in hopes that I might be able to tell her of my ongoing habit, but she exhibits a reluctance to discuss the matter, once even becoming annoyed at my persistence.

sterculius said:

The one time I did take the plunge and confess to my wife that as a teenager I used to suck my best friend Larry's cock on a regular basis and that I liked doing it and I liked the slutty way that "being a cocksucker" made me feel. She accepted my admission and saw it as being nothing more than adolescent sexual experimentation, but then let the matter drop. I would have preferred her to express a little more curiosity and want to know more about the episode. I omitted telling her that I'm still an insatiable cocksucker and that I indulge my cock craving whenever the opportunity arises. I don't like being deceitful and dishonest with my wife and I have attempted numerous times to engage my wife in conversation on the subject in hopes that I might be able to tell her of my ongoing habit, but she exhibits a reluctance to discuss the matter, once even becoming annoyed at my persistence.

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There is book called Mating in Captivity which describes the commonly accepted expectation that marriage (or any similar committed monogamous arrangement) is supposed to provide everything anchoring and everything adventurous to both people involved. This is not a realistic expectation for some people, but the marriage mythology tends to be one-size-fits-all in America.

After I left a marriage of unrealistic expectations, I decided that my future LTRs would be based on more realistic expectations and would grant greater autonomy to both people involved. My main responsibility is to keep myself and my partner healthy, in the broad sense of that term. But, I do not expect her to fulfill every need in my life, including all aspects of my sexuality. And, I am not compulsively driven to reveal every sexual thought or action.

It works. We have an active sex life, a good partnership, independence in our work, and independence in our relationships. I am a much more adventurous type, but I truly appreciate and respect the anchor that my LTR provides. We give each other the space to be ourselves.

sterculius said:

The one time I did take the plunge and confess to my wife that as a teenager I used to suck my best friend Larry's cock on a regular basis and that I liked doing it and I liked the slutty way that "being a cocksucker" made me feel. She accepted my admission and saw it as being nothing more than adolescent sexual experimentation, but then let the matter drop. I would have preferred her to express a little more curiosity and want to know more about the episode. I omitted telling her that I'm still an insatiable cocksucker and that I indulge my cock craving whenever the opportunity arises. I don't like being deceitful and dishonest with my wife and I have attempted numerous times to engage my wife in conversation on the subject in hopes that I might be able to tell her of my ongoing habit, but she exhibits a reluctance to discuss the matter, once even becoming annoyed at my persistence.

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Both sexes are guilty of harboring a false impression of who and what their partner is. Many woman want a rock, someone without surprises on whom they can depend. Discovering you partner is bi after any length of time is going to feel like betrayal - it's much the same being transgender.
It's unfair and illogical because it's all about emotions, not reason. Too many women want their rock to keep them safe but then want a lover to make things feel dangerous for a change... it's a pretty shitty way of carrying on, but people aren't perfect and everything is a compromise.

My first - Yesterday morning.

I arranged to meet a younger man after chatting via email for a couple of weeks. My hope and intention would have been another novice married man such as myself but that seemed as though it was never going to happen. The guy I met (in a public place near to and then to his place) is an experienced gay man. Apart from that not being my ideal in terms of preference he had quite a hairy body and enjoys kissing. It was never my intention to kiss a man but I went with the flow for his sake. He was going to let me suck his cock after all.

Long and short of it is that, without going into the full details, we sucked each other endlessly. I discovered I have a weak gag reflex so it was rather fortunate for my first that he had quite a small cock. Problem is I was so nervous, actually shaking like a kitten, that I was unable to raise a full hard on (this had been a concern of mine due to nerves) and, although leaking pre cum like a tap, managed only a fairly weak semi which as time progressed seemed to get worse as I began suffering performance anxieties. Just my fucking luck I thought!! Anyway as much as I was determined to get him off his concern was for me bless him and neither of us had an orgasm!

So yes, I have sucked my first cock just yesterday morning. Did I enjoy it? Well given the above it might surprise you to hear that I did but with reservations due to the issues indicated. Will I do it again? I have to, I really want to but I got so pissed off with myself for failing to relax. He wants to see me again but I think I need a man who doesn't want to kiss and isn't so hairy. It's strange because I have always shied away from the idea of being with a gay man and when invited in the past on different sites I have declined. The reason being that I have always felt I would be a disappointment to an experienced and/or gay man. Yesterday may have suggested I was right and getting it on with another novice might have been so much easier as both of us would be experimenting together and perhaps would feel less pressure to 'perform' to a 'standard'.

I don't know but there you have the details of my first experience for what it's worth.

Don't be surprised to see this copied and pasted to similar threads on Lit.

It's just fun

My sex life with my wife became non-existent and most nights I would spend an hour or so watching porn and looking for what would turn me on. Eventually I watched some gay porn and began to wonder what it would be like to suck a cock. An opportunity arose but I found I couldn’t do it and turned down the chance.
A couple of years later the opportunity arose with a married friend after a few too many beers and I decided that if I fantasise about it then why the hell not try it just once. I researched on how to be a good cock sucker so that I knew what I was doing and eventually agreed with my friend to do it.
The first time I think we were both nervous but I did suck him off and swallowed his cum. As I drove home I didn’t feel guilty or ashamed because I actually enjoyed doing it and was pleased that I actually got him to cum. Since then I have sucked him off a few times because he says I do it better than his wife. My wife doesn’t know and I would hate her to find out but I see no problem in doing something that is enjoyable.
Given the choice of sucking cock or sucking pussy, pussy would win out every time but I see no problem doing anything that awakens the urge to try something different.
It does help to have someone you can share those feelings with and show you that it’s not a bad thing but a fun thing.

Sweepup50 said:

My sex life with my wife became non-existent and most nights I would spend an hour or so watching porn and looking for what would turn me on. Eventually I watched some gay porn and began to wonder what it would be like to suck a cock. An opportunity arose but I found I couldn’t do it and turned down the chance.
A couple of years later the opportunity arose with a married friend after a few too many beers and I decided that if I fantasise about it then why the hell not try it just once. I researched on how to be a good cock sucker so that I knew what I was doing and eventually agreed with my friend to do it.
The first time I think we were both nervous but I did suck him off and swallowed his cum. As I drove home I didn’t feel guilty or ashamed because I actually enjoyed doing it and was pleased that I actually got him to cum. Since then I have sucked him off a few times because he says I do it better than his wife. My wife doesn’t know and I would hate her to find out but I see no problem in doing something that is enjoyable.
Given the choice of sucking cock or sucking pussy, pussy would win out every time but I see no problem doing anything that awakens the urge to try something different.
It does help to have someone you can share those feelings with and show you that it’s not a bad thing but a fun thing.

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Good man. I envy you that special friendship. Good luck.

blowit said:

So yes, I have sucked my first cock just yesterday morning. Did I enjoy it? Well given the above it might surprise you to hear that I did but with reservations due to the issues indicated. Will I do it again? I have to, I really want to but I got so pissed off with myself for failing to relax. He wants to see me again but I think I need a man who doesn't want to kiss and isn't so hairy. It's strange because I have always shied away from the idea of being with a gay man and when invited in the past on different sites I have declined. The reason being that I have always felt I would be a disappointment to an experienced and/or gay man. Yesterday may have suggested I was right and getting it on with another novice might have been so much easier as both of us would be experimenting together and perhaps would feel less pressure to 'perform' to a 'standard'.

I don't know but there you have the details of my first experience for what it's worth.

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IMO, real life experiences are a better way to meet lovers of any gender. The internet offers no communication of physical chemistry, until you actually meet the person in some public place, and that is a very charged environment in which feeling the chemistry tends to be secondary to other concerns.

If you want to meet people for sex, go out and do lots of stuff with people in general. Pay attention to these people, especially when they give you a lingering look.

If you want to narrow down the selection pool for potential male lovers quickly, go where men get naked and then, more importantly, relate to them while you are naked.

I've met a few people via the internet and even got in bed with one woman, but none of these situations worked out very well. On the other hand, meeting people while doing things I like to do has worked out very well, and I have met great female and male lovers.

The hand-held device and computers are no substitute for good old fashioned real life interactions. The "band width" is so broad when you physically meet someone who is doing something you both enjoy.

I am happiest when I shut off my computer and go out and do stuff.

coati said:

IMO, real life experiences are a better way to meet lovers of any gender. The internet offers no communication of physical chemistry, until you actually meet the person in some public place, and that is a very charged environment in which feeling the chemistry tends to be secondary to other concerns.

If you want to meet people for sex, go out and do lots of stuff with people in general. Pay attention to these people, especially when they give you a lingering look.

If you want to narrow down the selection pool for potential male lovers quickly, go where men get naked and then, more importantly, relate to them while you are naked.

I've met a few people via the internet and even got in bed with one woman, but none of these situations worked out very well. On the other hand, meeting people while doing things I like to do has worked out very well, and I have met great female and male lovers.

The hand-held device and computers are no substitute for good old fashioned real life interactions. The "band width" is so broad when you physically meet someone who is doing something you both enjoy.

I am happiest when I shut off my computer and go out and do stuff.

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I hear you clearly and fully 'get' where you are coming from. Sometimes though for some folk that is very much easier said than done.

bicurious19 said:

It was then that realised that I didn't care about any preconceived social stereotypes or labels. [...] When it comes to sex, I don't care how gay or straight. If it feels good, do it.

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This is a good way to think about it. Just because someone else tells you how you should (or shouldn't) act doesn't necessarily mean it's right.

coati said:

If your only sexual experiences with men involve guys who run off immediately after orgasm, that tends to cause problems for curious men who feel conflicted in the first place. I was fortunate that my first male lover was not like that at all. He felt perfectly comfortable hanging out with me after we both came, and we both came very strongly after a long seductive build-up on his part. His behavior after this great experience reassured me that we had nothing to be ashamed of.

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Agreed. Being able to relate to your partners as people helps to put your activities into the context of a relationship with another thinking, feeling person rather than simply an object or incident.

blowit said:

Problem is I was so nervous, actually shaking like a kitten, that I was unable to raise a full hard on (this had been a concern of mine due to nerves) and, although leaking pre cum like a tap, managed only a fairly weak semi which as time progressed seemed to get worse as I began suffering performance anxieties. Just my fucking luck I thought!! Anyway as much as I was determined to get him off his concern was for me bless him and neither of us had an orgasm! [...] Yesterday may have suggested I was right and getting it on with another novice might have been so much easier as both of us would be experimenting together and perhaps would feel less pressure to 'perform' to a 'standard'.

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Performance anxiety can be a boner-killer even in a straight encounter - here you have a whole additional set of homophobic societal baggage to deal with and that's going to add a whole bunch more stress. Being up-front about your nervousness might also help to reduce the tension.

If you don't find hairy guys to be that attractive, I suggest finding someone who is more your type. As far as kissing goes, I think it can make the encounter more sexual and arousing, but it's your call. Perhaps if you find a guy who turns you on more, you might change your mind about that aspect of it (see above about 'relating to partners as people').

joelafayette said:

This is one reason I love the Internet. It lets us connect with like-minded people with anonymity. It also shows us there are even like-minded people to begin with. I was astonished when I developed these curiosities in my 30s and learned there are tons of people in the same boat.

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I agree...

betabrad said:

I know I have fantasized a lot about sucking cock and getting fucked - I think all of my fantasies these days revolve around being submissive to a woman or a man and servicing them orally or by offering my ass for fucking. Still however, I have no desire to kiss a man or have any romantic feelings toward men, its just all about that big hard cock for me.

Also, I really only have these fantasies while I'm stroking myself - it seems that once I start stroking my cock , especially while looking at porn, all I can think about is how much I want to suck that mans big cock or lick the woman's cum filled pussy. In just normal day stuff, I never look at a man with lust, but I still have lustful thoughts about women just upon seeing a sexy woman.

Like I said, I do fantasize about sucking cock when I'm stroking, but I don't know if I would really want to do it in real life. What I would love is for a woman to seduce me in to sucking cock for her. She would start first, taking out his cock, stroking him to hardness and then proceed to lick and suck his cock .. and alternately kissing me , letting taste his cock on her lips. She would bring me closer and closer until I was close enough that she could guide his cock to my lips, letting me just having a lick, a taste , and then she would encourage me to open my mouth , taking him in just a little , sucking just the head and then encouraging me to take a little more .. and a little more, guiding his cock into my mouth, and holding my head and telling me how hot it made her to see me with a cock in my mouth. She would tell me how turned on she was and how she loved seeing me suck cock and salivating all over his big hard cock and tell me what a good little cock sucking slut I was until he pumped all of his hot creamy cum in my mouth.

I'm glad that Literotica is here that I can share these fantasies with others , knowing that I am not alone and that there is nothing wrong with these fantasies. I would love to be able to share these feelings in real life with open minded women, but until then, I am glad that there is Literotica.

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I had to check and see if I made this post or not....my thoughts to a tee ..sir

Sweepup50 said:

My sex life with my wife became non-existent and most nights I would spend an hour or so watching porn and looking for what would turn me on. Eventually I watched some gay porn and began to wonder what it would be like to suck a cock. An opportunity arose but I found I couldn’t do it and turned down the chance.
A couple of years later the opportunity arose with a married friend after a few too many beers and I decided that if I fantasise about it then why the hell not try it just once. I researched on how to be a good cock sucker so that I knew what I was doing and eventually agreed with my friend to do it.
The first time I think we were both nervous but I did suck him off and swallowed his cum. As I drove home I didn’t feel guilty or ashamed because I actually enjoyed doing it and was pleased that I actually got him to cum. Since then I have sucked him off a few times because he says I do it better than his wife. My wife doesn’t know and I would hate her to find out but I see no problem in doing something that is enjoyable.
Given the choice of sucking cock or sucking pussy, pussy would win out every time but I see no problem doing anything that awakens the urge to try something different.
It does help to have someone you can share those feelings with and show you that it’s not a bad thing but a fun thing.

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My curiosity developed almost the exact same way - sexless marriage, frustration, porn to get turned on, discovering that watching guys sucking dicks was a turn on, fantasizing what it would be like to do that and then getting up the courage to transform fantasy into reality.

I didn't want to kiss, cuddle or do anything other than take turns sucking each other off. I found a perfect partner through CL and we met. I had thought about how I wanted my first experience to play out and my partner indulged me. I wanted to get on my knees, open his pants up and slide them down and then get ready for the big reveal and slowly slip my fingers under the elastic waistband of his underwear and pull them down and watch as I get my first glimpse at the dick I am about to put in my mouth. It was there, inches from my face and available for me to explore. I reached over and wrapped my fingers around it and fondled it as the realization that I was handling another guy's dick hit me. There was no question what I HAD to do -- lifting it up, the cyclops eye staring at me, it was as if two magnets were being drawn together. I looked him in the eye and said "I want to suck your dick." Hearing those words in my voice, strongly and clearly come out of my mouth - words never before spoken by me - turned me on even more and I did not hesitate. The initial contact was electrifying. My senses were flooded with new sensations as the taste, texture, scent, sight and sounds were being experienced for the first time and the taboo and almost perverse thing I was doing was making me feel dizzy with intensely thrilling excitement.

I was not very good. I came spontaneously from the intensity of the experience. I was afraid that I might get the urge to bolt after I came but I was too wrapped up in the excitement and I quickly recovered. He then reciprocated and showed me how it's done. There was no swallowing - I wouldn't be ready for that for quite a while. But I did enjoy the experience and knew there would be others.

coati said:

If your only sexual experiences with men involve guys who run off immediately after orgasm, that tends to cause problems for curious men who feel conflicted in the first place.

I was fortunate that my first male lover was not like that at all. He felt perfectly comfortable hanging out with me after we both came, and we both came very strongly after a long seductive build-up on his part. His behavior after this great experience reassured me that we had nothing to be ashamed of.

I had two other male lovers who were the same way, where afterwards we hung out together, naked and open, and felt the glow for a while.

Those kinds of experiences blot out the cum-and-run tendency, which is often the result of homophobia.

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I agree with this, although in the right place time and mood hit and run is very hot. To me sucking a cock is just one more kinky great thing, and so is sucking three cocks. Right there with fucking a seriously hot woman in the ass, getting deep throated, being done by two devoted girls, many other things that might not fit in a couple's play.

I want it hard, and fast and overpowering, and I want to be weak and exhausted afterwards and wonder, "what have I just done? Wow..."

Well, at least sometimes.

Same for me

joelafayette said:

This is one reason I love the Internet. It lets us connect with like-minded people with anonymity. It also shows us there are even like-minded people to begin with. I was astonished when I developed these curiosities in my 30s and learned there are tons of people in the same boat.

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This is a kind of safe haven for me as well. I can share feelings and sometimes fears here and not be laughed at or judged.

Beautifully put

stickygirl said:

Both sexes are guilty of harboring a false impression of who and what their partner is. Many woman want a rock, someone without surprises on whom they can depend. Discovering you partner is bi after any length of time is going to feel like betrayal - it's much the same being transgender.
It's unfair and illogical because it's all about emotions, not reason. Too many women want their rock to keep them safe but then want a lover to make things feel dangerous for a change... it's a pretty shitty way of carrying on, but people aren't perfect and everything is a compromise.

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Unfortunately I don't see it changing anytime soon. At least in my situation.

debycha1968 said:

This is a kind of safe haven for me as well. I can share feelings and sometimes fears here and not be laughed at or judged.

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I'm sure Laurel, the site's owner, would be pleased to read this!

debycha1968 said:

Unfortunately I don't see it changing anytime soon. At least in my situation.

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It's a toughie - to what extent you keep your wider desires under the fantasy label or live them out. There is no shame in either approach. Our deepest desires have to live alongside earning a living and maintaining a facade of respectability if only to make society run smooth-ish.

The only conflict...

...is finding someone like myself who wants the experience but also a friendly relationship as well. Blow and go - no thanks.

That and I would want to go slow. Enjoy some time watching, jacking eachother and if the day is right, suck my first cock. And then again...again...again...over time.