First story suggestions on perspective and pregnancy?

First I want to THANK the writers on this bulletin board for the years of reading entertainment I have enjoyed on this site. After so many great stories, I'm now considering switching from just reading, to contributing as well!

I have an idea for my first story which I'm thinking will involve an 18-year old guy getting his virginity taken by a late 20s/early 30s woman, in a hotel, the night after meeting earlier in the day by chance (This will probably be a "First Time" story but otherwise would go in "Erotic Couplings.").

I can already visualize in detail the sequence of events that will bring the two together, and how the night will go, but there are two thoughts I wanted to get the experts' opinions on:

1) I'll probably write from the third person, but want to figure out if I should have the third person narration proceed through the story "following" the male character, or go back and forth between characters every couple paragraphs when the two are apart. (The character and plot details make it easier to do one of those two than to follow primarily the female the whole story). The former would likely make the story a bit shorter, the latter might allow for more nuances and details as I build plot and characters.

2) I'm playing in my mind with the idea of having the woman be five or six months pregnant (losing her husband just after she conceived). On the one hand, it could provide an additional hormonal element to the woman's desires and show that women don't check their sexuality at the door just because they're expecting. On the other hand I worry if it will be a huge turn off for a large number of readers.

Thoughts?

TravelingThroughLife said:

1) I'll probably write from the third person, but want to figure out if I should have the third person narration proceed through the story "following" the male character, or go back and forth between characters every couple paragraphs when the two are apart.

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The latter isn't *quite* head-hopping but it's pretty close, what with such regular jumps. The former is 3rd-person limited -- almost as personal as 1st-person but with more leeway for going outside his head. 3rd-person omniscient sees all and tells all, but that may be too much. I handle it my *mainly* following the player but occasionally switching to the other -- not "every couple paragraphs", but as needed. Don't try for cute.

2) I'm playing in my mind with the idea of having the woman be five or six months pregnant (losing her husband just after she conceived). ...I worry if it will be a huge turn off for a large number of readers.

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Preggers fetishists will love it. I've read and written stories with pregnant sex and noticed no nasty comments about such. Go for it.

Hypoxia said:

The latter isn't *quite* head-hopping but it's pretty close, what with such regular jumps. The former is 3rd-person limited -- almost as personal as 1st-person but with more leeway for going outside his head. 3rd-person omniscient sees all and tells all, but that may be too much. I handle it my *mainly* following the player but occasionally switching to the other -- not "every couple paragraphs", but as needed. Don't try for cute.

Preggers fetishists will love it. I've read and written stories with pregnant sex and noticed no nasty comments about such. Go for it.

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Thanks for the perspective on perspective (and pregnancy element!).

Which part of the older woman takes a younger guy's virginity scene is your fetish hook? The thrill the older woman gets from it or the incredible first experience the guy gets? Or both?

PervOtaku said:

Which part of the older woman takes a younger guy's virginity scene is your fetish hook? The thrill the older woman gets from it or the incredible first experience the guy gets? Or both?

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For that aspect of the story I'm thinking the latter, I originally was thinking about writing from the guy's perspective but as I developed the female character more I thought maybe I should give equal weight in the narration.

However, the woman's perspective is not so much "thrill," as it is her realizing that she's gone months without getting any, has no relationship attachments to anyone else, and could use some physical relief!

TravelingThroughLife said:

For that aspect of the story I'm thinking the latter, I originally was thinking about writing from the guy's perspective but as I developed the female character more I thought maybe I should give equal weight in the narration.

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Do the players NEED equal time? Or equal opportunity? Rather than setting a strict rhythm of he-said-she-said, I'd go mainly 3rd-person omniscient-external, describing the overall scene and action, then dropping to 3rd-person limited for individual scenes, following his or her perceptions, reactions, thoughts, feelings for as long as needed. I might delimit those sections with a row of hyphens to keep the POVs clear or the page.

However, the woman's perspective is not so much "thrill," as it is her realizing that she's gone months without getting any, has no relationship attachments to anyone else, and could use some physical relief!

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She also has the opportunity to train an energetic youth to pleasure her exactly as she desires. THAT is a thrill! So their meeting isn't really "by chance"; she purposely pursues her target.

Molly is only 30 now but she's always liked younger guys. Her future husband Rolf was several years younger than her when she grabbed him and trained him to be a man. Alas, the skiing accident that took him six months ago left her pregnant and alone. She sets her sights on training a replacement. No moe skiers; too dangerous. She looks for an awkward guy with nice muscles, finds one, breaks him in... No, it's not quite sexual slavery, but they have fun.

Or maybe it *is* a chance meeting.

When: some years ago. Where: big airliner. A tall young soldier with no stripes on his pressed dress uniform, right from boot camp, is flying home on leave. Virginal 18-yr old Bill is seated next to Lucinda. She ogles him stealthily. He's naive, awkward. He nervously orders a glass of wine. She 'accidentally' elbows it over, apologizes, buys him another, and another, and another... They talk and joke. They live in the same city! Lucinda insists on taking Bill to dinner the next night. She lures him to her home (not difficult) and the training begins. He never does get back to his parents, and just barely returns from leave on time to avoid AWOL.

(Setting is in the past so both young guy and pregnant gal can drink wine.)