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Do you ever feel shame, regret or guilt from your fantasies? I do...

Like others have said, this is a great thread!

The guilt probably comes from not being able to share them with your partner. I get this way as well because in a way I want her to be in my fantasy world, but a part of me says no.
These are my fantasies and it's what gets me off. I would hate to have that awkward moment where your spouse tells you that your fantasy is gross or weird or wtv, so best thing to do is slowly get over the guilt and shame.

Some of my fantasies will most likely just stay as fantasies because that's just the way it is. I think having been on this site, I have discovered a lot about myself and my sexual energy. However, I tend to stick to the ones I still have a desire for even after I have cummed. Those are the fantasies I dwell on because whether I'm horny or just cummed, I know that it turns me on regardless.

I am trying to adopt a guilt-free, secret sexual journey that I will and the other person will know about forever, and I am fine with taking that to my grave.

Be safe and be mindful, be a bit selfish, but don't get totally lost in that world.
We're ALL here for the experience, right? So, go ahead and experience it.
 
Guilty?

I used to get overwhelmed with guilt. But lately I have come to realize that this is my trip......and I am going to enjoy it to the fullest.
 
Never. Fantasies are just the thing dreams are made of, where you actually stick your cock is what gets you in trouble. Relax and enjoy the ride.
 
little bit

i feel little bit shame to be very honest but its over soon
 
Yes. I'm LDS, raised, by personal choice, married to an LDS man who I do love, with kids we are raising LDS. And yet I cheat on him simply because the desire is so strong and the sex feels so amazing. And now I find myself watching porn whenever I can. And my fantasies are far worse than my reality. And yes, I feel a great deal of guilt about it. I haven't yet figured out how to deal with it.
 
I'd say that the fantasies that turn me on the most are lust and shame intertwined
 
yeah...

all the time but then once I start ejaculating and voila... once I'm done I can't even remember what I was agonizing over.
 
Mr. Briggs said:
Hi. Hopefully this turns into a good discussion where we can help each other out. If not I'll probably get ridiculed. Here's hoping for the best :)

I'll start by laying out a little bit about myself to paint a better picture. I'm a happily married with a young family and a sexy wife. Sex was great before marriage (Some kinky stuff like outdoor sex, strapon play) but is now once a month and it's just quickies.

Over the past 10 years my online activity has picked up. Thanks to porn and some good erotica I got off harder and harder online and was watching dirtier and dirtier stuff. Stuff I would have never thought of doing in real life but after reading or seeing it i'd consider it if my wife were up for it.

Many of you have seen my posts. Some of the things I like and fantasize about are Strapons, creampies, CEI videos, pleasing women, MMF scenarios, BI MMF scenarios, female in charge, trannies, big cocks, cock sucking etc. Often times before I cum I really get consumed by these thoughts. After I cum I can find myself feeling ashamed or guilty about what I just fantasized about to cum.

So my question to you is how do you deal with those feelings and thoughts (if you feel them). I recently took a long break from online porn and literotica. It helped a lot. I found myself not thinking the dirty thoughts on a day to day basis. Then recently I got back on and the thoughts come rushing back. The orgasms are so amazing. But I'm left wondering whether it's healthy or not.

Anyhow just wondering how you guys dealing with it.

Thanks!
Click to expand...

Mr. Briggs,

This is a truly fantastic topic and a great thread!

As I've posted to a number of the same threads you have over the years, I don't think I need to tell you that we have a lot of interests/desires in common.

I was raised in a fairly open-minded household. My parents were both of a Christian upbringing but were not church-goers, so we certainly had a lot of the influence but my parents were very open about talking about their own beliefs about sex and human sexuality in general.

They tried to impress upon us that desires and fantasies, in of themselves, were not harmful and that fantasies desires that we never expected to have are quite normal. That taught us that even acting on our desires and fantasies were not harmful if we were: Alone (masturbation of any sort), and/or with a consensual partner, and we were not breaking the law and/or risking our own or someone else's safety.

They also repeatedly told my sister and I during our adolescence that it would be "ok" if we were gay (I would consider myself bi-curious), and that they would love us no matter what, yet at the same time warned us that not everyone was so open-minded and to just be wary.

Despite how amazing they were in regards to this, I still have had feelings of shame, doubt and guilt at times. I experienced these feelings a lot in my late teens and early twenties, and to a much lesser extent in my late twenties. I'm nearing forty now and for the most part I've long since left those feelings behind but they still crop up from time-to-time.

I'm fairly lucky to have a wife who has fantasies and desires as kinky as mine and has been accepting and encouraging to explore them outright or with role-play, I've even discovered a few new 'kinks' as we've explored some of her fantasies and desires.

On the rare occasion that I do have these feelings of shame or guilt I usually talk about it with my wife and she reminds me that we have no control over our desires (and I do the same for her when she expresses similar feelings).

I think most of those feelings stem from (as others have pointed out) our feelings if others around us were to discover those fantasies, desires etc.

It has actually happened quite by accident (our kinks/role-plays being discovered) with a couple of our friends, and it turns out they're just as kinky as we are, albeit in slightly different ways...
 
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ksmith475 said:
I'd say that the fantasies that turn me on the most are lust and shame intertwined
Click to expand...

Yeah me too. I fought my fantasies for years but the harder I fought the stronger they became. A few years ago I said, "What the f" and began acting out a few.

In my experience fantasies are ok if acted out in a safe environment with trusting partners. I was lucky enough to find a group of D/s people who are experienced and help me with some of the wilder stuff. I know they are experienced enough and careful enough that I will not be injured.

For the guy who thinks "as long as you don't stick your dick in it its ok" - hopefully you aren't married or if you ARE never share this with your wife! For females sex is about 90% imagination anyway, and if you're getting off on porn most women will classify that as cheating.

Anyway, nice thread.
 
creampieluvr79 said:
Mr. Briggs,

This is a truly fantastic topic and a great thread!

As I've posted to a number of the same threads you have over the years, I don't think I need to tell you that we have a lot of interests/desires in common.

I was raised in a fairly open-minded household. My parents were both of a Christian upbringing but were not church-goers, so we certainly had a lot of the influence but my parents were very open about talking about their own beliefs about sex and human sexuality in general.

They tried to impress upon us that desires and fantasies, in of themselves, were not harmful and that fantasies desires that we never expected to have are quite normal. That taught us that even acting on our desires and fantasies were not harmful if we were: Alone (masturbation of any sort), and/or with a consensual partner, and we were not breaking the law and/or risking our own or someone else's safety.

They also repeatedly told my sister and I during our adolescence that it would be "ok" if we were gay (I would consider myself bi-curious), and that they would love us no matter what, yet at the same time warned us that not everyone was so open-minded and to just be wary.

Despite how amazing they were in regards to this, I still have had feelings of shame, doubt and guilt at times. I experienced these feelings a lot in my late teens and early twenties, and to a much lesser extent in my late twenties. I'm nearing forty now and for the most part I've long since left those feelings behind but they still crop up from time-to-time.

I'm fairly lucky to have a wife who has fantasies and desires as kinky as mine and has been accepting and encouraging to explore them outright or with role-play, I've even discovered a few new 'kinks' as we've explored some of her fantasies and desires.

On the rare occasion that I do have these feelings of shame or guilt I usually talk about it with my wife and she reminds me that we have no control over our desires (and I do the same for her when she expresses similar feelings).

I think most of those feelings stem from (as others have pointed out) our feelings if others around us were to discover those fantasies, desires etc.

It has actually happened quite by accident (our kinks/role-plays being discovered) with a couple of our friends, and it turns out they're just as kinky as we are, albeit in slightly different ways...
Click to expand...

Ahh yes! We think alike. Thanks for this post. I appreciate it :)
 
Kindred spirit

LaurieJG said:
Yes. I'm LDS, raised, by personal choice, married to an LDS man who I do love, with kids we are raising LDS. And yet I cheat on him simply because the desire is so strong and the sex feels so amazing. And now I find myself watching porn whenever I can. And my fantasies are far worse than my reality. And yes, I feel a great deal of guilt about it. I haven't yet figured out how to deal with it.
Click to expand...

I had a somewhat similar upringing, and it took several years to finally accept my dark desires and needs. let me know if you every need anyone to talk to, I have been down that lonely road!
 
shame

its a great topic ...especially for this venue
yes, i often feel ashamed of things i look at or get off on
heck, i even feel ashamed sometimes just from masturbating

and i am definitely NOT being one to judge other than to say what I personally believe and feel.....so before anyone starts throwing rocks or hurling nuclear hand grenades let me repeat....I am ONLY talking about ME, MYSELF, and I

so....here it is...I was raised traditional and conservative Baptist
i believe that God intended for sex to be the best and greatest gift
to be shared between a man and a woman within the confines of marriage
in that relationship, i believe the man is meant to be the leader although he is also meant to love his wife with all of his heart and soul......and the woman is meant to submit and to obey her husband

yes, i know these are premises largely frowned at nowdays or disregarded entirely...BUT if practiced as God had intended - people would love each other dearly and faithfully and make sure each other were/are totally satisfied.....which was the original idea

so....having said that.....traveling out side of those mores.....generates guilt and shame.....both within ourselves and between us and God

now having said that and so that you can all know that i am more like you
i routinely watch, enjoy, and get off on lesbian sex....which i find beautiful and terribly arousing
i routinely watch and get off on any kind of hotwife or shared wife scenarios....and have fantasized tons about seeing my wife with another man or woman for that matter
the same goes for threesomes and many other things
etc etc

but....it is no mystery to me as to why i feel the way i do about it ….
anyway....i think, like many things, it is helpful to talk about it and tell it like you see it
 
Excellent Thread Topic

Generally I do not feel what I would call guilt or shame about my online sexual activities. I have found that sometimes I find myself spending more time and energy with it than I think is good for me. So I do take ‘virtual abstinence breaks’ from time to time (usually a couple of weeks). And it feels really great when I resume.

I do take care to keep my activities private. It is between me and Lit, or me and Tumblr, or me and a Lit p.m. chat partner.
For example, my private stock of erotic images are kept on an encrypted thumb drive. I clear my desktop files with an erasure program.

In my case I am retired and single, so this is my outlet. I play by the rules and avoid anything illegal.

I also think I ‘allow’ myself to partake and enjoy these peccadilloes because it allows me to ‘feel’ something. During much of my life my sexual feelings and other emotions have been sterile. When I am perusing erotic stories and images, and masturbating along with them, I feel a lot more alive inside than normally.

I have my own preferences as to the type of erotica I enjoy and what I do not enjoy I skip.
 
I sometimes feel strange after a fantasy has made me cum hard. But as others have said it is just fantasy, thinking is not a crime! As long as no lines are crossed it's all great to enjoy whatever makes you tick
 
Jcam1980s said:
I sometimes feel strange after a fantasy has made me cum hard. But as others have said it is just fantasy, thinking is not a crime! As long as no lines are crossed it's all great to enjoy whatever makes you tick
Click to expand...

Agreed! But still sometimes tough to shake the dirty thoughts :)
 
Mr. Briggs said:
Agreed! But still sometimes tough to shake the dirty thoughts :)
Click to expand...
I also agree. I sometimes feel guilty and try to stay from Lit but always find myself coming back. I thought about coming clean to my wife and tell her about my visits here and my fantasies but I always end thinking that she won’t understand and it will just upset her. So for now it’s just my secret.
 
HarleyFarmer said:
I also agree. I sometimes feel guilty and try to stay from Lit but always find myself coming back. I thought about coming clean to my wife and tell her about my visits here and my fantasies but I always end thinking that she won’t understand and it will just upset her. So for now it’s just my secret.
Click to expand...

I think it's a safe secret. The way I rationalize it nobody gets hurt, it keeps me happy even though I don't have much intimacy with my wife. It doesn't interfere with our intimacy as she just isn't interested much. Also it allows me to not obsess and bug her about having sex. I get relief without bugging her which I sense suits her just right.

I also think there is a small chance some of the things turn my wife (or your wife) on that we post here but there is a greater chance that they not understand it. That risk I'm not willing to take. I've shared stories I found hot with her and that is a nice gauge to whether or not she'd be in to a lot of it.
 
Mr. Briggs said:
I think it's a safe secret. The way I rationalize it nobody gets hurt, it keeps me happy even though I don't have much intimacy with my wife. It doesn't interfere with our intimacy as she just isn't interested much. Also it allows me to not obsess and bug her about having sex. I get relief without bugging her which I sense suits her just right.

I also think there is a small chance some of the things turn my wife (or your wife) on that we post here but there is a greater chance that they not understand it. That risk I'm not willing to take. I've shared stories I found hot with her and that is a nice gauge to whether or not she'd be in to a lot of it.
Click to expand...
I can’t complain about the amount of intimacy we’re having but I wish she would be more receptive to trying some different things. Her philosophy is that if it isn’t broke you don’t have to fix it so our love making is usually the same time after time. I have made some progress lately but not as much as I would like hence this is why I’m here.
 
I only feel a little guilt after reading or watching something that has incest as the core subject. Other things of interest cause no adverse feelings...

Enjoy many varieties of porn, it just is what it is.

I do believe that old cliche, it’s only kinky the first time you do it. :devil:
 
sissy does not feel "shame, regret or guilt", one of the major things is that Her and sissy have an open relationship. sissy tells Her everything, there are discussions between Her and sissy on what sissy does and feels . It is this openness that helps the relationship grow. By not trying to hide anything there is no "shame, regret or guilt".
 
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