Do men want to pleasure women

Do men whether they be Doms or Masters or whatever else they choose to call themselves care if they bring their sub/slave/woman/wife to an orgasm? Just a question. Do they really think a few lines on the computer screen are bringing a woman to pleasure? Why do they even talk if they aren't serious about wanting to pleasure a woman? Do they really think that cuming on demand is pleasuring a woman? I thought BDSM was about mutual enjoyment. It seems it isn't.

unicorn64 said:

Do men whether they be Doms or Masters or whatever else they choose to call themselves care if they bring their sub/slave/woman/wife to an orgasm? Just a question. Do they really think a few lines on the computer screen are bringing a woman to pleasure? Why do they even talk if they aren't serious about wanting to pleasure a woman? Do they really think that cuming on demand is pleasuring a woman? I thought BDSM was about mutual enjoyment. It seems it isn't.

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It seems you've found a shitty partner. Or at least not one you're compatible with. There are lots of men who like giving pleasure. Perhaps taking it slower and really getting to know someone before jumping into sex or cyber sex or whatever it is you're doing with people.

If you've clearly told this person what you want and they aren't into it, find someone more compatible.

"Why do they even talk if they aren't serious about wanting to pleasure a woman?" Because they're thinking about getting their own pleasure and finding the fastest easiest route to it.

If you want quality don't be quick to jump on that dick. You see what I did there?

Alright, all joking aside, find someone worth your time who is going to be on the same page as you.

I agree with MM, you have a mismatch.

I'm fairly certain that Master very much enjoys pleasuring me, sometimes to the point of distraction. I'm extremely multi-orgasmic and, Evil Sadist that he is, he sometimes takes me to the point of begging for mercy. I think it's more than just the obvious control, though. (Speaking very presumptively here) I think he also enjoys my squirms and screams and, well, everything that he wrings out of me. And I'm incredibly grateful that he feels that way!

Tell them what you told us.
Douches are everywhere and if you don't speak up you'll end up with them...online or otherwise.
Don't even entertain" lines on a computer screen" if that's not what turns you on.
Having a giving partner in whatever capacity depends on where you set the bar love.
Think quality over quantity.

Hope this helps and you find a giver. They are definitely out there

well this man does.
i don't think there is anything better than seeing, guiding, helping a partner in the various stages of their own ecstasy. May sound trite, but although i may take a so called dominant lead, i prefer the thought of being a facilitator.

Let's face it the majority are able to self pleasure, so the benefit of being with a partner is surely to share, nurture and amplify the physical and mental experience of pleasure.

My sig - I mean it. More than anything.

Some of us do, I hope you have someone or find someone who does his best for you.

You both have expectations that aren't being met, and don't seem to match well. Maybe you haven't known each other long enough. Or maybe your (online?) play partner isn't experienced and isn't trying hard enough to understand what you're looking for.

You may just have to step back and talk about "this is how it would work best for me". You do have some responsibility to make your needs known. Men are pretty clueless, and women aren't all the same.

Or maybe you just aren't matched well and you need to let this one go and try again with someone else.

None of those are easy options though.

But I'd say that yes, generally a dom would enjoy seeing his or her sub enjoying pleasure, and would derive pleasure or satisfaction from that. I doubt however, that I'd easily find someone who wanted to be tied up and licked until they orgasm, so whether or not BDSM is about mutual anything, I don't really know. I don't know if it's easily categorized. It's probably as easily understood as people are.

Take care.

You might want to rethink your own labels. Read the essay linked in my sig, see if it 'speaks' to you.

I always try to please a woman before I receive. Nothing better than kissing as the inner thighs for a while to get her truly aroused.

just trying to understand

A question to the lovely sub ladies of lit.
What do you look for in an online Dom. I truly enjoy when I can help one of my subs get off. I know every woman is different but if I could hear some of your views it might help me to better help some of you
Ace

aace714 said:

A question to the lovely sub ladies of lit.
What do you look for in an online Dom. I truly enjoy when I can help one of my subs get off. I know every woman is different but if I could hear some of your views it might help me to better help some of you
Ace

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You'd do a lot better if you made your own thread.

Short and simple answer? Of COURSE!! No question about it!

Are you just asking a question in general or do you have a current partner that does not fulfill you or have all of your partners not ever fulfilled you? You specifically mentioned lines on a computer screen so I'll try addressing that. The truth is there is only so much excitement you can get from lines on a computer screen. Some have more imagination than others but lines on a computer screen in the end are just lines on a computer screen. There is only so much you can do with that. I suggest finding a real person to pleasure you and if he doesn't, find a different one. Some guys only think of themselves and getting their own rocks off and you're never going to change them unless you change them by finding someone different. There are many men out there that would just love to please you but you have to find one first. And, don't have too high of expectations on computer play. It is what it is but even then you shouldn't settle for someone that is not a good fit with your expectations.

I agree with many of the comments. One of the things that I think makes the dom/sub relationship work is trust. Trust that someone is going to care enough about you to know what you and need. They help make decisions for you, that you could make yourself, but there is something powerful in trusting someone else to do that. It works the same way with the sexual side of the relationship. A true dom is going to care enough about the sub to fulfill them and not just themselves. Just my two cents.