Daddy's Little Girl

^^ very well said.

And never, ever tell a little they're acting childish. Not even in a joking manner. It's devasting to hear, but you'll also cause them to take a step back from you because how can they trust you again? Not just because you might hurt them again, but because you don't understand them... you don't love them unconditionally. You've proven they can't be themselves around you.

(No, this isn't about my sweet Daddy who hung the moon and the stars and loves me unconditionally)

Nods head, exactly that on both accounts.

snexxer said:

I might get stick for this, because I'm accused of being fake or not knowing.

Being a little is a state of mind, not a role play. It is her. (Or him in some cases)
The normal day to day person you see is quite often the role played to fit in with society.

Being in little space is where they go to be comfortable, safe or secure. It isn't so they can be a brat and get away with things. It's where they can enjoy the majesty of the world that they live in.

If someone has a little in their life, it's their role to treasure and support them in little space. Because you will never have a more loyal or truer friend.

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A good reminder that the facade we put on to step into the "real world" is more often than not our false self, a roleplay character we have adopted over the years to fit into the narrow strictures of social normativity. Those "safe spaces" are the places we are allowed to explore our true selves. Being a Daddy is being able to value that being with a little isn't roleplay...

So true about never having a more loyal and truer friend - which is rooted on being true to yourself first that allows a little to be so loyal - no games, no put-ons, no facades, no manipulations (well, except when she pouts to get what she wants! ).

Power to all littles who have the insight and strength to recognize their true self! It isn't an easy process of recognizing and accepting who you are and I know many of you go through so many struggles finding the acceptance you deserve.

LostGirlTink said:

Sometimes it's helpful when I realize it's somewhat how I"m "wired" instead of me being crazy or irreversibly broken.

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Thank you for sharing this ^. I need to put that on my dating profile. LOL.


I'm a little bummed because I thought I met a man who I could call Daddy with a capitol D. He has disappointed me and is doing a push/pull game that I don't like. He only seems to like being called daddy because he damn well doesn't act like one. Le sigh.... I could use snuggle-hugs today.

INeedLove said:

Thank you for sharing this ^. I need to put that on my dating profile. LOL.


I'm a little bummed because I thought I met a man who I could call Daddy with a capitol D. He has disappointed me and is doing a push/pull game that I don't like. He only seems to like being called daddy because he damn well doesn't act like one. Le sigh.... I could use snuggle-hugs today.

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That is very disappointing. It seems like some think it's a game or they aren't invested fully like we are. I'm sorry you're bummed.

On the other hand, it's always a delight to see you here.

*hugs INL*

barefootgirl69 said:

That is very disappointing. It seems like some think it's a game or they aren't invested fully like we are. I'm sorry you're bummed.

On the other hand, it's always a delight to see you here.

*hugs INL*

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It seems to be just the opposite for me. I am consumed with being a good Big Daddy but to find a kitten committed often can be a challenge. I guess it’s just putting the two like minded souls together in a mess of pretenders which is the challenge

mellowyellows said:

It seems to be just the opposite for me. I am consumed with being a good Big Daddy but to find a kitten committed often can be a challenge. I guess it’s just putting the two like minded souls together in a mess of pretenders which is the challenge

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This is exactly right!

It's one reason I took to heart not to look for one. It was very good advice. By not looking, I opened myself up to meeting more people, getting to know them, being friends. That's how I found my first OL/LD relationship. I still adore him and always will because, first and foremost, he is a dear friend.

It's no different now. He was a friend, not looking for more, who was there consistently in my life. He still is my bestest friend, but SO MUCH more. *sigh* I kinda like him, can you tell?

I hope you find someone to call your own.

barefootgirl69 said:

This is exactly right!

It's one reason I took to heart not to look for one. It was very good advice. By not looking, I opened myself up to meeting more people, getting to know them, being friends. That's how I found my first OL/LD relationship. I still adore him and always will because, first and foremost, he is a dear friend.

It's no different now. He was a friend, not looking for more, who was there consistently in my life. He still is my bestest friend, but SO MUCH more. *sigh* I kinda like him, can you tell?

I hope you find someone to call your own.

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Same to you.... Lucky guy

Hello everyone,

I’m so sorry to intrude. I was wondering if there might be someone available to talk to? I have recently received some insight into my ‘darker self’ in regards to this l/D community, and I’d really appreciate some insight/additional more experienced opinions. I’m quite rattled and not exactly sure what to do/think/feel right now. So any advice will be greatly appreciated.

Again, sorry for intruding.

- Lucy

LucianaGrace said:

Hello everyone,

I’m so sorry to intrude. I was wondering if there might be someone available to talk to? I have recently received some insight into my ‘darker self’ in regards to this l/D community, and I’d really appreciate some insight/additional more experienced opinions. I’m quite rattled and not exactly sure what to do/think/feel right now. So any advice will be greatly appreciated.

Again, sorry for intruding.

- Lucy

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Lucy!

You're not intruding at all! This thread was put in the PG instead of the BDSM board for those of us who have questions or comments.

I'll open my inbox for you, but in all honesty, there are many here who could help if you post here.

*runs to add you to my buddy list*

Can we talk for a little while about endings and commitment what happens when it comes to an end? I think this thread has so much value and this is one of those things that no one likes to discuss but it's really important (see above statements)
These relationships, (when they're real and not just roleplay or a game for someone that's a different topic,) involve a level of emotional investment that can leave chaos for everyone. It's not just the little, although (and speaking from experience here) I have to say there's no stranger dichotomy than how an lg needs her DD more than ever right after he has broken her heart, because of all the things he might have shown her, how to not be with him probably wasn't one of them.
I can only speak for myself, so that's what I'll do and I hope that some others feel compelled to chime in and talk with me on the subject. I'd love to hear from the perspective of DD's as well. That might actually be amazingly beneficial for me.

I'm going to start with some info about the part of me that is "little"
This is going to be long and more than I've ever revealed publicly before. (see how helpful I am this morning? I reserve the right to take so much of this back at any time so I'm going to ask that you not quote this post in full)
I am just wired this way I guess. I don't know why I want to wear cute ruffley socks or thigh high and have him play with my hair and make me feel safe and loved, I just do. I like structure and rules and constancy. I need security to love. Figuring that part out is another story though.. that's not what I want to talk about. Someone said to me the other day that they understood and that judging by their collection of ruffled socks in the past that they should have suspected it about themselves years ago...probably.
The little part of me is made up of all the best parts of me. The non-broken parts. The parts that still want to play with puppies and look for rainbows and read fairy tales and believe in happily ever after. That. Right there. The part that still can fall in love and is willing to give people a chance and the part of me that still knows how to trust and care. The pieces of me that are still willing to give a fuck in a world is harsher than than I like to realize. The gentle part The sweet part. The dreamer. The part that will stay up all night to make cupcakes or ... whatever other reason one might have for staying up all night. The part that sleeps with a stuffie and wants to cuddle in his lap for hours.. before or after anything he wants to do in the bedroom because my biggest kink is that I want him to be happy. I love big. I love deep. I love in the way a young child does, with no filters and no conditions. And it just happens. The littles I know love much like puppies, in your face, on your lap, all over you the minute you walk in the door and with a boundless and unbridled enthusiasm. Or kittens.. which is kind of all of the above only on their terms and with more scratching.
The "big"part of me deals with shit. Regularly. I'm a full grown ass, bad ass woman. I make decisions and run a household and am a successful businesswoman. I am college educated and own more than my fair share of sexy heels. I'm a grown up... absolutely, and that's the part of me that everyone sees.
The kick ass, totally together person that trusts no one and wears armor. Armor that becomes harder and harder to get through, hiding in a fortress instead of a blanket fort that I don't want to let people into.
I usually only let a handful of people I know and trust see that little, vulnerable and fragile part of me. I let him see it and if I'm lucky enough to have trusted friends who understand (and thank god I am lucky enough) I can let them see her. The people who get to know that part of me have earned my trust on a level that I can't even explain.
So when that's taken away, it's... not ok.
It's not "just a break up" it doesn't involve just some Adele music and Rocky Road.

I think a lot of men want littles. We love pretty hard,, we're loyal and fun, and we're pretty awesome and on paper (and tumblr) we're sparkly and glittery and charming. And we are.
But we're intense and there's a responsibility that I don't think people always think through.
I could write a lot more but I'm not going to right now. I'd like to see others thoughts before I continue.

^^^

Love this Tink. Will respond when I’m not lying in bed on my iPad and know it will time out!

Tink,

Thank you for sharing so much - your posts are always full of such thought-provoking words and this latest one is very touching, and troubling. I have to sift through it a little more, but I think the "break-up" is a real challenge for both DDs and lgs. I have very limited experience in a DD/lg relationship - only one that evolved into a DD/lg relationship quite unexpectedly. For various reasons we both realized that it wasn't sustainable and agreed that she should find another DD. Only, it hasn't been an easy road for her. The challenge for me is letting go of my desire to protect her, care for her, provide her a safe space, support her and all things I did when we were together. Whereas now, they border on an intrusion into her life - even though she needs a safe space and friend so much as she is not in a good relationship.

It is a particular situation no doubt, but the issue you raise of moving on isn't easy as the breakup creates the very conditions which define the nature of the relationship to begin with - vulnerability, loneliness, need for comfort. As a DD who knew we had to go our separate ways it is an absolutely horrible position to be in... Seeing her need a DD and not being able to fulfill those needs!

I can't even imagine what it is like for the little! It is troubling...

Lost_Yonder said:

Tink,

Thank you for sharing so much - your posts are always full of such thought-provoking words and this latest one is very touching, and troubling. I have to sift through it a little more, but I think the "break-up" is a real challenge for both DDs and lgs.
I can't even imagine what it is like for the little! It is troubling...

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Thank you for responding. I think that it's difficult to have these conversations, pretty pictures are easier and more fun
It's hard to share openly, I'm actually pretty guarded, but when you are limited in where you can discuss, then you have to put your heart on your sleeve sometimes.
(poor Indie can only talk to me so many hours a day)
And I always wonder if it's "just me" or if this is a thing...

LostGirlTink said:

Thank you for responding. I think that it's difficult to have these conversations, pretty pictures are easier and more fun
It's hard to share openly, I'm actually pretty guarded, but when you are limited in where you can discuss, then you have to put your heart on your sleeve sometimes.
(poor Indie can only talk to me so many hours a day)
And I always wonder if it's "just me" or if this is a thing...

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It is not 'just you'. I'm pretty sure, at one time or another, we've all felt what you're going through. We just, each of us, handle things differently. I think having DD friends and little friends is important because we can lean on them when our heart hurts, or life spirals out of control. Especially here where things tend to be LDR and OL, and Daddy can't be there every moment because he might be married.

I'm not sure if I am making sense since I just woke up.

LostGirlTink said:

Thank you for responding. I think that it's difficult to have these conversations, pretty pictures are easier and more fun

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And there are lots of pretty pictures to enjoy, dancing around our imaginations, aspiring us! But it is always good to sit back now and then and reflect on the reality behind the idealized images, the fantasies, the desires...

barefootgirl69 said:

It is not 'just you'. I'm pretty sure, at one time or another, we've all felt whst you're going through. We just, each of us, handle things differently. I think having DD friends and little friends is important because we can lean on then when our heart hurts, or life spirals out of control. Especially here where things tend to be LDR and OL, and Daddy can't be there every moment because he might be married.

I'm not sure if I am making sense since I just woke up.

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Not bad for someone who just woke up!

mellowyellows said:

It seems to be just the opposite for me. I am consumed with being a good Big Daddy but to find a kitten committed often can be a challenge. I guess it’s just putting the two like minded souls together in a mess of pretenders which is the challenge

Click to expand...

barefootgirl69 said:

This is exactly right!

It's one reason I took to heart not to look for one. It was very good advice. By not looking, I opened myself up to meeting more people, getting to know them, being friends. That's how I found my first OL/LD relationship. I still adore him and always will because, first and foremost, he is a dear friend.

It's no different now. He was a friend, not looking for more, who was there consistently in my life. He still is my bestest friend, but SO MUCH more. *sigh* I kinda like him, can you tell?

I hope you find someone to call your own.

Click to expand...

No doubt there are a lot of "pretenders", but Daddy-wannbes are particularly disturbing given the amount of trust and love surrendered to them by a potential little.

There are two things though to consider. First, a lot of Daddies and littles are still figuring out what that means for themselves. They aren't "pretending", they are just searching for what it means for them. For a little that is searching her own desires, to have a potential Daddy come along and impose his will, ideas, and interests on her can be very destructive for her.

Second, there is a range of meanings for being a Daddy and a little, we aren't all the same, we have different strengths and interests, different aspirations. Not all Daddies are for all littles. A true Daddy should realize that immediately and not pursue a little when they realize that they are not the right kind of Daddy for her.

Many Daddies assume that any little should naturally accept them - that isn't being a Daddy, that is being a Dom, or worse. A true Daddy should be able to adapt to the needs of a little to fulfill her desires, not the other way around. This is what differentiates a DD from a Dom or a wannabe DD...

Changed my mind on sharing previous post

Thank you for sharing ST. I did actually get to read it and it helped me.
It's so hard to share.
I'm hurting and that makes me super raw and probably way too open. I do know that the dick picks and unsolicited "wanna fuck....I can be your daddy" posts have increased immensely both here and on tumblr since I let on that I was not quite myself.
I may have hurt myself rolling my eyes as hard as I have each time that happens.
There's so many things I want to say and I just can't bring myself to type them. Maybe in time.

LostGirlTink said:

Thank you for sharing ST. I did actually get to read it and it helped me.
It's so hard to share.
I'm hurting and that makes me super raw and probably way too open. I do know that the dick picks and unsolicited "wanna fuck....I can be your daddy" posts have increased immensely both here and on tumblr since I let on that I was not quite myself.
I may have hurt myself rolling my eyes as hard as I have each time that happens.
There's so many things I want to say and I just can't bring myself to type them. Maybe in time.

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And here I thought dick pics were a cure all for every woman's every need! Thanks for educating me

.......

This place

We may be a fucked up menagerie of strangers here in the Lit community, but the level of. Impassioned and caring in this thread has been touching and heart-warming to read. Pretty amazing folks. We love you, Tink!

Smoothshavendad said:

We may be a fucked up menagerie of strangers here in the Lit community, but the level of. Impassioned and caring in this thread has been touching and heart-warming to read. Pretty amazing folks. We love you, Tink!

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Sorry... compassionate & caring

Let me start by saying I'm glad that I caught your post on my morning reading, subtulip. After reading through today's posts, I want to say that I love your outlook in letting things roll off our backs. Sometimes that's harder than it seems, because littles can be hurt over tiny things others would never imagine.

The idea of a room all to yourself to be little in!
I'll admit, sometimes when I pull out my colored pencils or when I want to paint rocks and my daughter wants to join in, it's hard to maintain mommy-mode. I just want to be little and hum and sing and dance and forget about being adult.

Now... in relation to DD/lg and long distance and busy daddies, please consider something tangible. Something to remind you that you aren't completely alone, just by yourself at the moment.

When I had to travel back east recently, I took a stuffie Daddy sent me at Christmas. When we can't talk for whatever reason, that's my reminder that I'm cared for. (Daddy ). The same with my eternity bracelet. Right before I moved, I put it on as a reminder that my (now former) dearest Daddy was with me. (I still adore him, I wear it, he has a special place in my heart).

When my world is in chaos... I touch these things and remind myself that I am in his heart and never truly alone. Then I contact friends. Your friends are there for you... don't forget about them.

......