Advice needed on how to make this self-indulgent filthy prose better

just wondering if this will work

1) Punctuation is your friend. Use it: periods, commas, quotations, etc. Whoever reads it will thank you.
2) Capitalize and separate into paragraphs. Nobody wants to read a solid block of type that extends across half a page.

Once you've done those things, come back. We'll take it from there.

Indeed.
With commas:
"Let's eat, Grandma!"

Without commas:
"Let's eat Grandma!"

With commas:
"I like cooking, my family and my pets."

Without:
"I like cooking my family and my pets."

Commas keep you from looking like a psycho.
Additionally, the lack of periods can easily, and often does, change the meaning of sentences.