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I would like feedback on my first story please

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Bangerb

Banger
Joined
May 18, 2022
Posts
13
I just published my first story and have had a few comments. I would like a little more feedback if I can get it. I welcome bad along with good as I believe it will help me to produce better future stories for the readers.
This is the first chapter in the story, I do not know how many total chapters there will be but right now I have three more already written and ready to publish. I wanted to wait a bit before publishing more to see how the first chapter is received.
Thank you in advance.

Author name: Bangerb
Categories: Incest/Taboo
Story link:
https://literotica.com/s/watching-dena-watch-me-ch-01
 
Thank you so much annabellebrito. I hope you like it and I believe the next chapters get better, with content and writing.
 
I only have one major concern -> Delete this comment because it is ridiculous;

Anonymous 6 days ago
Pulled out the 'boss'? the 'Captain'? The 'hog'?. Come on, are you 16? Horrible story.

As I was reading, your clever use of the many ways to describe the Dad's cock was going to be my praise for such imaginative descriptions. The only minor issue I noticed was your use of the lower case i in several places — a very unobtrusive oversight and not a big issue IMO. Very well written and fun to read.
 
yukonnights said:
I only have one major concern -> Delete this comment because it is ridiculous;

Anonymous 6 days ago
Pulled out the 'boss'? the 'Captain'? The 'hog'?. Come on, are you 16? Horrible story.

As I was reading, your clever use of the many ways to describe the Dad's cock was going to be my praise for such imaginative descriptions. The only minor issue I noticed was your use of the lower case i in several places — a very unobtrusive oversight and not a big issue IMO. Very well written and fun to read.
Click to expand...
Thank you so much for the compliment. I like to have a little bit of comedy in the stories I read so I thought I would try for that in my first written story. I just thought it would get a bit monotonous seeing:

"and I pulled my cock out...."

"I got my cock out and...."

"I slid my cock out and then....."

There are only so many ways to say you pulled your cock out.
I have since found that it is a little difficult to insert a lot of humor into a story that contains so many exotic scenes so I try to sneak it in when I can.

Again thank you.
 
Just seeing this thread today, but I will definitely give a read through your stories. Always on the lookout for new erotica to read!
 
Bangerb said:
I just published my first story and have had a few comments. I would like a little more feedback if I can get it. I welcome bad along with good as I believe it will help me to produce better future stories for the readers.
This is the first chapter in the story, I do not know how many total chapters there will be but right now I have three more already written and ready to publish. I wanted to wait a bit before publishing more to see how the first chapter is received.
Thank you in advance.

Author name: Bangerb
Categories: Incest/Taboo
Story link:
https://literotica.com/s/watching-dena-watch-me-ch-01
Click to expand...
I have read all chapters loved them and left a message along with a very high rating :)
 
Thank you LucieLou007! That is very kind of you. I read your stories as well and enjoyed them alot and gave you lots of ⭐️
 
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