My Favorite Quotes

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I'm not cute or built to suit a model's fashion size
But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.
I say
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips
The stride of my steps
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please
And to a man
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees
Then they swarm around me
A hive of honey bees.
I say
It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth
The swing of my waist
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say
It's in the arch of my back
The sun of my smile
The ride of my breasts
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say
It's in the click of my heels
The bend of my hair
The palm of my hand
The need for my care.
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.
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Only the soul that loves is happy.​

PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER
"I don't care where you think you have to go, young man.
Midnight is past your curfew!"

MONA LISA'S MOTHER
"After all that money your father and I spent
on braces, Mona, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"

HUMPTY DUMPTY'S MOTHER
"Humpty, If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times
not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? Noooo!"

COLUMBUS' MOTHER
"I don't care what you've discovered, Christopher.
You still could have written!"

MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER
"Mike, can't you paint on walls like other children?
Do you have any idea how hard it is
to get that stuff off the ceiling?"

NAPOLEON'S MOTHER
"All right, Napoleon. If you aren't hiding your report card
inside your jacket, then take your hand
out of there and prove it!"

CUSTER'S MOTHER
"Now, George, remember what I told you --
don't go biting off more than you can chew!"

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER
"Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe?
Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"

BARNEY'S MOTHER
"I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney,
but you're starting to look a little purple."

BATMAN'S MOTHER
"It's a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize
how much the insurance is going to be?"

GOLDILOCKS' MOTHER
"I've got a bill here for a busted chair from
the Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?"

LITTLE MISS MUFFET'S MOTHER
"Well, all I've got to say is if you don't get
off your tuffet and start cleaning your room,
there'll be a lot more spiders around here!"

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER
"But, Albert, it's your senior picture.
Can't you do something about your hair?
Styling gel, mousse, something...?"

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER
"The next time I catch you throwing money across
the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"

JONAH'S MOTHER
"That's a nice story, but now tell me
where you've really been for the last three days."

SUPERMAN'S MOTHER
"Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and
we've decided you can have your own telephone line.
Now will you quit spending so much time
in all those phone booths?"

THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER
"Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric
light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed!"
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